!g*mers

Slop is on the menu

Pizzologists will recognize this as a likely reference to the Three Days Grace concert.

It apparently got posted by Mr. @911roofer but was overlooked . At nearly 17 minutes long, it's truly an epic of Tariq Cartoons. It features

• Tariq induced therapy of Boochie

• Racist African immigrant caricature taxi driver

• A glowie plot to burn down Tariq's FBA museum

• Science fiction Baltimore Frankenstein and Cyborg Hoodrat

• Failure to animate against a greenscreen

• Black newscaster lady who hates black men

• Proposed greencard marriage for a non-FBA A

• Hillbillies that live where the LA skyline is visible for some reason

• A proposition for prostitution

• Raps and KFC

• Hoodrats can't eat spicy African food

• Beyonce singing about being Creole

• Boochie Bear is part of the Baehive

• Obvious ML Jay-Z voice saying "Hov"

Enlist today pic.twitter.com/9OOGSriJUL

— Terminal Lance (@TerminalLance) November 11, 2021

I don't know why I don't spend more time on /r/Dating_Advice, the shit that gets posted there is absolutely hilarious. This post is no different. Let's get right into it.

I got used for s*x and I literally want to throw up.

Of course, this isn’t my first rodeo where a guy acts a certain way and switches it up immediately after. But this one stung because it wasn’t an ex who I knew I could expect this behavior from, nor some random dude at a bar or from an app.

I work with this man’s mother, she set us up. We talked for about a week and a half. Daily good morning texts. Evening calls. FaceTime. He was calling me “baby” and immediately hinted of a relationship. This is typically a red flag if I haven’t even met someone, and I’d classify it as love bombing.

Woah, couple of Red Flags™ here. Calling her baby within a week and "love-bombing"? Time to go non-contact, babes

However, I am a 30 (F) and being treated how I just got treated literally gave me an anxiety attack and I haven’t been this embarrassed in a while. I don’t know how to act this morning when I walk into work, and I have this dude mother asking me how things went.

Already getting big energy vibes here

We were supposed to go on an early Saturday date. He convinced me to come over Friday evening instead so we could go early in the morning. I definitely resisted but he convinced me, saying even if anything happens that we are “grown” and it doesn’t define anything as a one night stand. I made it clear I wasn’t in it just for the physical aspect and he agreed.

Whoa babes, he convinced you? That's literal r*pe.

After it got physical, he got awkward. I know it wasn’t bad - it happened like 4 times. But in the morning his personality completely changed. He made himself coffee and didn’t offer or make me any. Went to sit in his video gaming room and hinted that he wanted me to leave. Then, literally said that we are “friends with benefits” and we can see where this thing goes, if one day it does turn into a relationship. I thought, overall, that things ended ok. He told me he would text me. The date he planned never happened and I felt super used. I only went over whe cause I thought the date would still happen. I felt like an idiot walking out of there with my next days outfit in my bag.

>Come over the night before baby, it'll make our date the next morning smoother. Hey if things happen, they happen, we're adults

Proceeds to frick her 4 times

>No coffee for you!

>Actually we're just friends with benefits

>Also our date is cancelled

>I'll be in my video game room slurping Gatorade

>Don't text me, I'll text you

After that, he went radio silent. No text the next day, no more good morning texts. He finally texted me a “hey” last evening and told me he quit his job. When I called about it (no different than how he used to call daily) he acted distant and told me he’d call me right back because his dad is calling, but never did. I texted him later and he did not respond when he was clearly online.

Now I have to walk into work and his mother will be eagerly asking me about our “date”. I broke a lot of my own rules by going out with this guy and I haven’t had a guy pull such a bait and switch on me in years - and it’s only happened before from a dating site where you kind of don’t expect people to be overly serious. This one definitively stings. And now I don’t know how to act at work. Do I delete him off social media? I don’t want to be dramatic but now I feel super uncomfortable. I really liked him and I understand he doesn’t like me back, I just think he could have handled it better and should have communicated that with me given the circumstances.

"How was your date with my son?"

"He fricked me every which way and then sent me packing"

"That's my boy!"

So let's recap:

• Woman continues to pursue a relationship with a guy who shows red flags and breaks her rules, who is also a coworkers son (aka pooping where she eats).

• Sleeps over BEFORE their FIRST date (I hate to use an IASIP line that's been flogged to death on Reddit, but this is a text book case of "the implication")

• Does the deed four times that night

• Date cancelled, he goes non-contact (except for an obvious "hey" booty call)

• STILL HASN'T DELETED HIM FROM HER SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS

WOMEN ☕

Comments

The fact that he canceled the next days date is rude af. What a scumbag.

Funny way to spell "King"

I’m petty and say tell his mom what happened

Otherwise she’ll be bothering you about it for ages

"You need to tell his mum about the massive L you took"

I would remove him from social media.

Please don’t give him anymore of your time or energy (I know it’s not easy). Don’t feel bad for wearing your heart on your sleeve, you deserve better for sure.

>YouDeserve.exe

Don’t let him live in your head rent free. Ghost him

Ahh yes, you can't ghost me, I'm ghosting you!!

Aww this sounds like a tough situation. You've probably already figured this out but just in case you're still working through it I'll give you some advice.

1️⃣. Never go to a guys house to stay the night if you're not interested in having s*x. It doesn't matter what he says to try and get you there, things change when you're actually face to face and pheromones and hormones come into play.

2️⃣. It takes people time to reveal their true selves. Try to wait longer before getting physical with a guy because a lot of dudes know how to pretend in order to get into a woman's pants. The good morning texts and consistency is easy to fake for a short while.

3️⃣. Block the bastard and let his mother know what kind of son she has so she doesn't try setting him up with anyone else.

4️⃣. Don't be too hard on yourself and try to learn from this and keep moving forward.

All of this. There were obvious red flags from the beginning. He might be an AH, but you need to get better at detecting those red flags, making good dating decisions, and protecting yourself.

Actual good advice and reminder of personal responsibility: 27 times less upvoted than the other hugbox top comments. Never change, Reddit

Why u put Chris brown on ur album dawg

Wow you’re so brave for asking this question.

/s

He’s not brave. He’s close minded.

Chris Brown is one of the most talented artist musicians of all time are you kidding me. It was an honor that he was even so willing to be a part of my album. He’s also a friend of mine. I get it, you guys may not think he’s perfect or cool because of things he’s done in his past, but which one of you guys are perfect?

These people obviously aren't true riri fans, if they were they'd know that she's completely forgiven Chris Brown and made multiple songs with him since the alleged abuse

https://twitter.com/rihanna/status/173220593594929153

Im an r-slur but Im an r-slur but what we thinkin

Though about getting a Marsey cover to make my new phone less flashy and noticed they don’t have any covers anymore

tl;dr guy asked for an "enthusiastic blowjob" and homemade breakfast for his birthday. His wife does neither and leaves for her PTA meeting. He eats a convenience store scone for breakfast, goes to work, takes care of his messy kids, makes dinner for his wife, and gets no blowjob. Throws a pity party for himself on reddit instead of growing a spine.

He does take reddit's advice on confronting his wife about this. So what does he do?

Just approached the topic with the wife. I’m not good at articulating these things so I wrote it down. Her response was “is this going to make me feel worse? If so I don’t want to read it”

Cringetopia made a post on this. The cringe part according to them? The foids foiding in the comments about OP's blowjob request. Not the OP himself.

If you are a woman trying to post on reddit you are always posting to seek the male gaze because reddit is mostly men.

So they met online, she moved to his area, then put the moves on him. So far so good...

She always told me that she felt drawn to me and really liked my personality. I, on the other hand, am admittedly not the “fittest” guy. I’m actually on the chubbier side but very active (6 feet tall and 250 lbs). Anyways, things have been great between us so far in the relationship. She’s everything I would have ever asked for— she’s generous, loving, attentive, loyal and also independent. We also have s*x a LOT so I never received any indication that she ever had an issue with my weight or looks until recently….

Basically, a classmate/friend of mine in our cohort overheard my girlfriend talking to another friend where supposedly the friend said something along the lines of, “I was so confused about your relationship with him. It seemed like you were repulsed by him since you kept sending me screenshots of his body and calling him chubby yet you kept saying you’re attracted to him.” My friend said my girlfriend laughed and said something like, “I know it was such a weird situation! I was so confused too about how I was attracted to a chubby guy. It felt so taboo and was worried I would be turned off once I met him in person.” And to sum it all up, my friend told me they kept laughing and talking about the situation as if it was so funny that my girlfriend found me fat yet “hot” at the same time.

I was shocked, livid and even humiliated

I felt like I was stabbed in the back as I saw texts like “I can’t believe I’m attracted to this guy 😭”, “Look at this unflattering photo of him”, “Maybe I have a fat fetish now”, etc and texts from her friends saying things like “he’s mid”, “you’re out fo his league”, “your exes are way hotter”, “don’t date down.” I told her I needed space and have been contemplating whether to end things with her.

She wrote me a text today apologizing again and telling me how much she cares and what she appreciates about me, and had her friend send cookies at my door.

yeah just send the fatty cookies

I talked to my friends about it and they said I’m being too sensitive and should understand because “she’s hot”

sensible

OP is cryposting in the comments, and so is literally everyone else.

38 days paid holiday a year here