Reported by:
  • Assy-McGee : Joan has no delfector award right now :^)
Yearly Thin Badge :marseymajorgeneral3: Check-In (Apply for Thin Badge :marseymajorgeneral3: Within).

:marseybroccoli: No food tastes as good as skinny :marseyanorexic: feels, and no badge :marseymajorgeneral3: commands respect :marseyfingergoodjob: quite like the Thin badge :marseyscout: does. :!marseybroccoli:

It's been awhile since we've taken stock :marseywallst: of our gorgeous svelte kingdom, and considering the !Thin ping group :marseymeangirls: applications have been piling up into the hundreds (full of potentially FAT people mind you) I think :marseymischevious: it's time we have a little :marseykirin: check :marseyelonpaypig: in and give some of those unproven potentially rotund r-slurs a chance to prove themselves worthy of being a part of our glorious carb-free HEAVEN. APPLICATION :marseyappicon:

Submit a timestamped photo :marseyjourno: here or to me via DMs of yourself :marseydespawnurself: (no faces) proving that you're thin. This can be a full body shot. A scale :marseyjustice: photo :marseyneat: (with ankles showing). A wrist shot. ANY part of your body that can irrevocably show that you are thin. I will repeat - I DO NOT WANT A PHOTO :marseymemories: OF YOUR FACE (that's for the Hot Badge). If you are concerned :marseyhelp: about PI do note that all photos submitted for the Thin badge :marseymajorgeneral3: will be visible to anyone viewing your profile when they click on your thin badge. This is done for lulz and to ensure that those you are bullying for being obese :marseychonkerindignant: are sure that you are, indeed, thin and thus better than them.

Do your part to ensure that all those bullying others due to their body size is done appropriately and by the correctly sized people that deserve to bully :marseycryinglaptop: others for their proportions.

Thank you!


My name is Max Azzarello, and I am an investigative researcher who has set himself on fire outside of the Trump trial in Manhattan.

This extreme act of protest is to draw attention to an urgent and important discovery:

We are victims of a totalitarian con, and our own government (along with many of their allies) is about to hit us with an apocalyptic fascist world coup.

These claims sound like fantastical conspiracy theory, but they are not. They are proof of conspiracy. If you investigate this mountain of research, you will prove them too. If you learn a great deal about Ponzi schemes, you will discover that our life is a lie. If you follow this story and the links below, you will discover the rotten truth of โ€˜post-truth America'. You will learn the scariest and stupidest story in world history. And you will realize that we are all in a desperate state of emergency that requires your action.

To my friends and family, witnesses and first responders, I deeply apologize for inflicting this pain upon you. But I assure you it is a drop in the bucket compared to what our government intends to inflict.

Because these words are true, this is an act of revolution.


Last March, a billionaire named Peter Thiel started a bank run on Silicon Valley Bank. I knew enough about Thiel that I found this incredibly suspicious: My hunch was that this was intentional, though I couldn't fathom why.

I began investigating online, and quickly found cryptocurrency's fingerprints all over it. The bank run occurred just days after Silvergate Bank โ€“ which catered almost exclusively to crypto companies โ€“ collapsed. Meanwhile, several crypto cheerleaders were all over financial media warning of a regional banking crisis, and nobody in media was addressing the clear crypto connections.

I dug deep into the financials of Thiel's venture capital firm Founders Fund and eventually uncovered the following, all proven many times over.

Cryptocurrency is our first planetary multi-trillion-dollar Ponzi scheme. It was expressly created for this purpose by a laundry list of rich and powerful people out of Stanford/Silicon Valley and Harvard/Facebook.

The March 2023 bank failures were all intentional: the banks were used to move out stolen Ponzi money. This signals that they're no longer dumping cash in to keep the cryptocurrency Ponzi afloat, and that it will soon go insolvent, as all Ponzis must.

When the Ponzi scheme goes insolvent, it will take down half the stock market with it: The perpetrators used their major companies to pipe into the blockchain so they could funnel money out from the crypto exchanges. This includes Google, Tesla, Apple, PayPal, Facebook, Disney, Walmart, Target, InBev, Zoom, and countless others.

It is a Ponzi scheme so large that it created global inflation, which is why the price of Bitcoin has been a remarkable leading indicator for inflation rates. Victims who bought crypto don't realize their money has already been stolen, so the money gets double-counted by the victims and the criminals who stole it.

As it turns out, our elites are awash in Ponzi schemes. Stanford's investment fund and Jeffrey Epstein's โ€˜Program for Evolutionary Dynamics' he ran at Harvard are both fake-science Ponzi factories that these schools have invested billions in: They are filled with fraudulent companies that use smoke and mirrors to promise miraculous new technology, but always collapse while the perpetrators only get richer.

Funneling trillions of dollars in stolen cash through the stock market created the largest stock-market anomaly in history. The stock chart signature of a Ponzi scheme is a massive increase (while they stack up cash) and then a massive fall (as they funnel out the stolen cash). This chart shape appeared in all the companies listed above. In order to explain the massive anomaly, our criminal government unleashed COVID on the world and told us these were the โ€œstay at home stocks.โ€


Ponzi schemes are vicious beasts, and cryptocurrency is history's largest Ponzi by orders of magnitude. It could best be described as an economic doomsday device, intentionally made to shatter the world economy.

The U.S. government is fully involved in this totalitarian con: To illustrate its bipartisan support, I'll note that nearly every participant of the Clinton Global Initiative has ties to cryptocurrency, while two of the biggest tech VCs who participated are Trump associates Josh Kushner and Anthony Scaramucci.

To better understand our form of government, I will point you to one of the most astonishing pieces of stand-alone evidence I've found: Arkansas Governor Bill Clinton's 1988 DNC speech where he nominated Mike Dukakis for president against George H.W. Bush. The speech is a vile, mean-spirited roast of Dukakis that makes no sense whatsoever: For Clinton to ruthlessly attack a member of his own party should have been political suicide, and he repeatedly mocks Dukakis' noble and earnest qualities.

Notably, actor Rob Lowe, who was supporting Dukakis, was victim of a teen s*x blackmail operation at the DNC that year. Since we know Clinton is a close associate with teen s*x blackmail artist Jeffrey Epstein, we can suddenly make perfect sense of the nonsensical speech by applying this lens: Bill Clinton is a cocky mob boss who blackmailed Mike Dukakis because Dukakis thought his job was to help the public. He teases out the future public revelation that Kitty Dukakis drank rubbing alcohol, and offers a strange anecdote about the crack epidemic that reveals he is an exceedingly proud drug runner.

What does this revelation tell us? That our government is conning us completely. That Bill Clinton was secretly on (former CIA Director) George H.W. Bush's side, and that the Democrat vs. Republican division has been entirely manufactured ever since: Clinton is with Bush; Gore is with Bush; Trump is with Hillary, and so on. When they present themselves in public, they are acting as characters that are against one another, practicing kayfabe as wrestlers do.

As it turns out, we have a secret kleptocracy: Both parties are run by financial criminals whose only goals are to divide, deceive, and bleed us dry. They divide the public against itself and blame the other party while everything gets worse and more expensive and handful of people take all the money.

Since it is fully parasitic, a secret kleptocracy is an incredibly unstable form of government โ€“ left to its own devices, it can only lead to fascism or failed state.


One of the key findings of this research is that Harvard University is one of the largest organized crime fronts in history, which is how they churn out billionaires โ€“ it's a major hub of this sprawling criminal network.

As it turns out, dozens of the writers of The Simpsons went to Harvard. So I asked myself the question: If The Simpsons served the interests of organized crime, how would it do so?

Well, it offers a dysfunctional family suffering from moral decay, a community incapable of solving its problems, a worker drone who slaves away for an evil billionaire, and cathartic laughs for our poor collective circumstances.

There are some notable specifics as it relates to this research, too: In Marge vs. The Monorail, the townsfolk are too oafish and divided to invest in the town's needs (fix Main Street) and fall for the charms of a dazzling showman with a bogus monorail Ponzi scheme. When we know that the show is closely linked to an organization that invests billions of dollars in Ponzi factories, this becomes quite darning.

In Lisa the Iconoclast, Lisa discovers that town founder Jebediah Springfield was a secret criminal con artist, and that the townsfolk's lives are a lie. Realizing this is an important discovery, she desperately tries to get the townsfolk to listen to her. But they meet her with hostility, apathy, disbelief, and partisanship and she fails to get through to them. Ultimately, she realizes the town is so far gone that perhaps it's better for them to be lied to by con artists, and she keeps the secret to herself.

And here I've been, like Lisa Simpson, desperately trying to get friends, family, and the public to believe the proof of a totalitarian con I'm trying to show them, and they've turned away with hostility, apathy, disbelief, and partisanship.

And so, we realize the criminal truth of The Simpsons: Our elites are telling us that our eroding collective circumstances are our own fault, and we can't do anything about it, while they steal the American Dream from us. It is, for lack of a more elegant word, brainwashing.


Lastly, we string these major discoveries together: Cryptocurrency is an economic doomsday device; our government is a secret kleptocracy; The Simpsons exists to brainwash us. From there, the only research we need is critical thinking and we're able to piece together the true story of our circumstances.

Consider America since 1988: Institutions like healthcare and universities have become parasitic in their skyrocketing prices. News media tells us to be angry and tribalized. Daytime television warns us of moral decay. Local news tell us to fear our neighbors. The Simpsons tells us we're too oafish and divided to save the American Dream. Seinfeld tells us to celebrate the buttholes and be irritated by all the normal people around us. โ€œRealityโ€ TV tells us that real life is filled with hedonism and strife.

Social media, owned by crypto criminals like Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk, is flooded with nonsense conspiracy theories and memes reminding us that we are hopeless, helpless, anxious, depressed, ironic, scared, apathetic, escapist, lonely, misguided, and jaded, telling us we can't do anything but have a laugh at our circumstances.

Liberals mock the hypocrisy of conservatives; conservatives mock the hypocrisy of liberals, and our collective circumstances erode. The left shouts โ€œAll Cops Are Bastards,โ€ which ensures they'll be hated by the police and the public (and flies in the face of leftist theory). The public's distrust of the government is at an all-time high, but so is the belief that we are helpless to do anything about it.

And with all this, a sharp rise in apocalyptic messaging: Climate change will kill us all; COVID will kill us all; vaccines will kill us all; AI will kill us all โ€“ no matter the bubbles we ascribe to, we're bombarded with existential crises with no solutions. We've seen a surge in apocalyptic film, literature, and video games that tell us there is no way out of our poor circumstances but total societal breakdown. Zombies tell us that the public is our enemy. If you go to your nearest convenience store, you can buy a can of water called โ€œLiquid Death.โ€

This is our rotten farce: For our entire lives, we have been flooded with media designed to slowly steer us into a world where the American Dream was dead, where the public was fully divided against itself, where everybody believed we were powerless to do anything about our worsening circumstances. It is all so they can organize an unprecedented, apocalyptic rug pull on the entire populace as they pivot to fascism, which is perhaps best understood as kleptocracy at the barrel of a gun.

When we piece it all together, we understand the truth: We are in a totalitarian doomsday cult.

Why on earth would our elites do this? There are many reasons, but the simplest is because capitalism is unsustainable, and they knew it: Climate change and resource extraction would catch up eventually. So, they never intended to sustain it. They knew all along that they would gobble up all the wealth they could, and then yank the rug out from under us so they could pivot to a hellish fascist dystopia.


Things escalated wildly in 1988 when former CIA Director George H.W. Bush got the White House, but this plan had been in action long prior:

Why is Stanley Kubrick's comedy about mutually assured destruction called Dr. Strangelove: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb? Because he was a cocky secret fascist who was getting us to stop worrying and love the bomb. Why did he make A Clockwork Orange? So we'd rejoice at ultra-violence designed to desensitize us to the horrors of the world.

Why were the Manson Family murders crawling with cover-ups and intelligence agents? Because our government wanted to make us fear for our lives and believe that hippies are deranged psychopaths.

Why did Walt Disney produce a fraudulent documentary that told us Lemmings follow each other off cliffs? So we would believe it.

Why did The Beatles tell us to fear the taxman, to scoff at revolution, chase nonsense conspiracy theories, and that happiness is a warm gun? So we would believe it.

Why did Easy Rider tell us that the hippie movement was dead? So we would believe it.

Why did Chinatown end with defeatism in the face of massive corruption? So we would believe it.

Why did George Orwell tell us of a hellish future of totalitarian control that we are powerless to stop? So we would believe it.

Why did Wall Street tell us โ€œgreed is goodโ€? So we would believe it.

Why did Do The Right Thing tell us we're all racially tribalized? So we would believe it.

Why did Simpsons creator Matt Groening make a comic strip called Life in Heck? So we would believe it.

And on, and on, and on, and on. When it comes to any popular media, if you ask yourself the question, โ€œWhy would secret doomsday cult kleptocrats want the public to consume this?โ€, you will find your answers.


This is obviously very bad news, but the biggest lie we've been told is that we are powerless. We've got one way out of hellworld, and that's for the public to realize that we've been conned completely so we can build a united movement that shatters every lie they've told us, mocks this rotten farce as loudly as it deserves, and aims at nothing short of abolishing our criminal government so we can build one that serves the public.

To understand this story is to see right through the con, to become immune to the endless sea of criminal propaganda, and to feel the great joy and power that comes with freedom.

If a small number of people quickly put on these truth-colored glasses, we are in for an unimaginably bright future. If not, we get an apocalypse.

For more information, I've put together this booklet that includes other major findings and a map to a sea of proof, along with all the other essays on this site.

For the true history of America since the end of World War II, see here.

To see this discovery unfold in real-time, along with further explanations, hundreds of pieces of evidence not covered here, advice, inspiration, political theory, and the heart and soul of a man escaping history's largest doomsday cult, see my Instagram story highlights. I apologize for leaving things so scattered, but this has been an exhausting affair. So long as you understand this (true) ideology, you will be able to learn the whole story.

Here is a federal lawsuit I filed against dozens of perpetrators of the cryptocurrency Ponzi โ€“ not for litigation, but just to preserve the information and attach my name to it. I was terrified and hadn't slept in days and it shows, but it served its purpose of keeping myself alive long enough to keep learning and telling this story.

I no longer have my original research files from the crypto rabbit hole. If you want to see them, you'll have to get my laptop back from the government. Ask them how they got it - it's a very fun story.

I hope you know how powerful you are. I wish you a heck of a lot more than luck.

Max Azzarello

He also had a reddit account and posted on stupidpol

He posted on a ton of conspiratard subs like epstein and the rconspiracy one

posted on /r/peepee (lao)

also posted on okbuddycinephile

mostly political subs like rpolitics stupidpol latestagecapitalism


turns out hes an anarcho communist who believed in "leftist unity"

linked in:

also schizomaxxing evern more






Jinxthinker discusses why DSP would have been a Pinkerton breaking up strikes

on loving phil 9:32

some probably related phil musings on his /u/10000cats100dogs account

  • Jinxthinker wanted to tell Phil that he loves him. He had a dream about DSP yesterday. He is sexually attracted to phil.

  • Jinxthinker had a fancy of making friends and streaming on Twitch again, but then was like "frick that shit".

  • Talks about dedicating his life to DSP 0:30

  • Has run out of drinks and candy

  • Phil needs to be known as that BIPOC who plays real games by playing RPG (but not homo AIDS ones like Final Fantasy)

  • pedorama is always going on about free healthcare because they all have HIV 2:00

  • Jinxthinker and Phil are both pure Aryans who were rejected so they can say FRICK YOU

  • jinxthinker has been wanking to a formerly emo e-girl. He could easily regress his mind and mindlessly wank to children but he won't. 3:30

  • Tattoos should be mandatory when women turn 18

  • He wants to see DSP break someone's orbital bone in the octagon 4:45

  • DSP would have been in the Pinkerton's detective agency saying "frick you working class people"

  • Mr. P-dophile man called out as having a small peepee and not being white 7:00 @Aevann mentioned

  • We look at DSP's instagram and lust over DSP's wife

  • DSP and Jinxthinker will rule over the earth as King and King and make the working class suffer

!jinxthinkers have you rethought your choice to be a homosexual who wants free healthcare?

:marseyparty: [Event] [Carbinye Carnyivwl #1] WOWLCWOW searching cwompetition. FtM edition. :marseypooner: :marseypoonerretard: [PRIZE INSIDE]

Hey fwiends. :marseywave2: In accwordance with my 2 year accwount birthgay i'm hwosting a littwal cwompetition. Mwe and swome other dwamatards had fun wooking thwough the Wowlcwow /u/gaygender, a cwazy t4t pwoonyer, swome tim back but I think it's a shame we've onwy fwound onye gwood wowlcwow. That's why I'm recwuiting u two search the depths of /r/ftm and related subs two fwind us (me) the best, yet unknyown, pwoonyer cwow out there! Ideawwy submission shwould have pics. Bwonyus pwoints if u bait them ywourself. :directlypointingsoyjak:

A few exampwes of /u/gaygender -

Pwizes are as fwowwows :

1st - 10k DC/MB

2rd - a GWOATSE in ywour DMs

I'd perswonyawwy suggest searching on /r/ftmfeminity as I've fwound swome gems there like these handswome fewwas :marseyxd:

or this hilarious whwore

U wiww submit ywour wowlcwows, ideawwy with pictures in this thwead and I'ww dwo a fwowwow up voting thwead in 4 days. Nyow get out there, and milk swome cwows. :marseylolcow: :marseydramautist:

trans lives matter

Civil War? More like Civil Bore - A Review (spoilers inside, the movie sucks so it's okay)

So Civil War came out and it's.... leh bad????? Let's discuss

So basically the story is set in some alternate universe where there's a civil war in America. One thing that's missing all throughout the movie is any grounding in reality that would make the movie make sense. They essentially play it straight with as close to realism as possible so it makes everything else around the movie all that much less possible to take seriously.

Here's the map that supposedly the current geopolitical situation in the movie.

Blue = Loyalist States

Green = Western Forces

Red = Florida Alliance

Yellow = New Peoples Army (you never see these guys in the movie)

So already we're off to a bad start. How's the WF going to supply each other? Expensive butt planes? Also what's to keep these state borders to begin with? Why haven't people just drawn borders of their own? You'll notice that as you ask more question the stupider the movie gets.

Also of note is the curious absence of any... cause? There's no indication of WHAT the states are fighting over? There's a sniper (males) later on in the film that has painted nails in the trans colors so I'm just going to go ahead and assume the civil war is being fought over trans right :smugtranstwitter: Which side would you be on in the battle for trans right dramatards? I would be fighting with my inverted peepee xrothers and xisters in the trenches to defend my fellow tranners, I'll have you know.

:redlight: TRANS LIVE MATTER!!!! :redlight:

This movie is essentially a shitlib suburban wine mom's version of what they think Drumphler would inact upon the united states of the brave pink vagina hat mommies and dommies didn't boot his butt out of office.


Anyway the movie starts with Ron Swanson doing his best Donald Trump impression - Nick Offerman is a frequent and heavy consumer of Trump Derangement Syndrome and I'm sure relished in the idea of taking on a Trump-esque roll to lampoon him, even though you see him for about 2 mins at the beginning of the movie and 30 seconds at the end and that's it. A24 must have been running the budget tight.

Some kid goes up to Gwenyth Paltrow at some protest where a bomb goes and goes uwu you're my hero you have the same name as (something something plot contrivance to get the two to meet). Gwenyth is using a FILM CAMERA which for some reason they think in the 21st century film cameras and not just any dope with a working phone are relevant to the :marseyairquotes: "journ*listic profession" :!marseyairquotes: (I vomited typing that)

Cut to the hotel they're staying it and fatso old man (Stephen McKinley Henderson) is there along with Gwenyth and Joe (who's real name is Joel but his horrible accent and basically unintelligible dialogue made me believe until just now looking up the IMDB page right now that his name is Joe). Their big master plan is that they want to drive from NY to DC (where they allegedly "shoot journ*lists on sight," god I wish) and interview the president because he hasn't given an interview in over 18 months. The young chick is there and introduces herself as Jessie (which I misheard as Dussie so that's what we're gonna go ahead and call her for the rest of this review, you know I'm starting to think that I have a problem hearing things...). Gwenyth the following morning - expressing zero emotion throughout the entire movie except monotone :marseypokerface: line delivery - states verbally her annoyance at having a rookie come to the trip. Fatso is there too and even though he's established as their journ*listic competition (lol, lmao even) they agree to give him a ride to DC. Sure why not.

This is the basic structure they use to string together a rollercoaster of events essentially.


The gas station

They stop at a gas station even though they're not empty (and they have an extra container on the back which the director forgot about) because you "have to get gas at any opportunity you can." Uh okay. The gas station is ran by a bunch of good ol' proud boys with their modded AR-15s and big beards and body armor and they're sitting close enough to each other that one spray from an automatic rifle would kill all of them pretty quickly but nevertheless they ask Maggie Gylenhaal for her "fueling license" :marseydarkxd: :marseydarkxd: :marseydarkxd:. She says she can pay them in cash, and offers 300 dollars. And they're like 300 ain't buy you much, that'll get you like a sandwich (okay but like a sandwich's worth of gas is a pretty decent amount of gas tho....) and then Gwenyth goes - no no CANADIAN.

We have entered into a bizarro land where Canadian dollars are worth more than the USD. How would the Canucks not get immediately captured the moment that war broke out. What are they gonna call on the powerful and mighty 21st century English navy to help them out? Oh hey fellow Americans I know we're all having a civil war and whatnot but the english are here, you guys just stand far enough away from each other so we can't shoot ourselves and we can easily take care of this problem.

Good ol' boy agrees and they get fuel. Young chick sees some looters strung up and gets too scared to take photos because it's the first time she's seen gore (she should go to WPD some more, causal :marseyindignant:)

war is le hecko

The movie then does these long cinematic shots of - what I can only assume should be - war torn neighborhoods. But it doesn't look.... that bad? :marseycringe2:

Here's some examples I was able to pull from the trailer.

Like the bright color pallates, most of the skyscrapers are still standing, the bridges are in working order. In the movie the asphalt is in good shape, the paint on the road is nice and crisp. This is supposed to be horrible scenery and yet it looks... fine? Except for the smoke and the preepmtively blown up car in the second and fourth images respectively. Is American really embroiled in the aesthetics of a horrific civil war or is it just Cincinnati?

By comparison, here's an actual war torn country, Ukraine

Western Forces

So lemme make sure I understand this properly. You're telling me DC decided to pick a fight with the state that produces like 70% of all the food IN THE NATION and also still has EXTRA to export to other countries and the state that has a shit load of manufacturing and a huge gun culture? Again... why? They never say the cause but I'm morbidly curious to know what would cause DC to do this.

shoot shoot, bleed bleed

The next day they follow around some florida militia boys as they smoke some camo boys - not sure who's on who's side but I just guessed cause the florida boys are wearing very visible red hawaiian shirts. They witness a guy get shot and get dragged to safety after which they see a medic packing medical gauze into the wound to prevent further bleeding (I'm making a point of this because it will become important later).

They SEE and WITNESS this happening and even PHOTOGRAPH this happening in front of them so there's no excuse NOT TO KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMEONE GETS SHOT OKAY????

They also do that tacticool thing where they have all the soldiers go like "STACK UP, ON ME!! :marseyletsfuckinggo2:" which is really dumb and adds nothing to the movie. I discovered a cool thing which is that the US military will let you use their toys if the script gets approved by the DoD - which it definitely looks like it did here.

So I'm guessing that's what's happening here, they got a bunch of good ol' boys from the Army to reenact a bunch of CQB for the camera because there's a lot of that (and more towards the end too) which adds nothing to the plot and isn't even that cool to look at. They work their way up some stairs a smoke a guy who was groaning in pain and not even armed, lmao. Then they execute a bunch of people wearing those Abu Dhabi black hoods. Fun and wholesome for the whole family :marseywholesome: if the movie didn't try to moralize it like it's le bad. Everyone knows war is heck, the more compelling thing is what it does to the human psyche which this movie explores with the subtlety of a howitzer cannon.

They start driving and come upon an idillyc neighborhood where all the signs of war are absent. "Are we in some type of time machine" remarks Joe. They walk into one of the stores and say to the shopkeeper - "Hey you know there's a pretty big civil war going around :marseywingcuck:" and the shopkeeper is like "yeah we like to stay out of it :chadwomannordic:" to which Joe scoffs as if to say yeah right chud, don't you understand that centrism is nazis!??!?!?!?!?!?!

drumphler wants to kill women and minorities and turn Amerikkka into a fascist state!! Silence is violence!!! TWO SCOOPS!!!!! :soyjaktantrum:

They decide to take some time to relax. Angelina Jolie tries on a dress and Dussie photographs her. Joe puts on a silly hat

Ummm excuse me chud, why are you wasting your time trying on hats, don't you know there's like a pretty big civil war going around AND PUTLER IS KILLING RGB AND TURNING AMERICA INTO THE HANDMADE TABLE!!!

winter winter wonderland

Anyway the crew continue driving north until they come upon a winter wonderland outdoors display (it's summer). In the middle of the road is the dead body of a soldier with still fresh blood on them. Joe decides - despite the evidence in front of him that he's going to get shot - to move the car slowly forward, at which point he gets shot :marseyxd: Don't worry though he's fine and they panic accelerate running over the body which is a cheap shitty prosthetic and it doesn't look convincingly like a body at all. Honestly this made me laugh very hard. There's a sniper in the neighboring building that's shooting at them and as they're taking cover they find the counter snipers - one spotter another sniper. Joe's all like "who are you fighting for" and the spotter sniper calls him r-slurred :marseyemojirofl: and says there's a guy in the tower, he's trying to kill us, we're trying to kill him. Honestly I love these guys were it not for the fact that they were wearing ghillie suits, bleached blond hair (that would be very easy to spot from a distance) and painted nails (they're both dudes) that are painted in the trans pink blue colors. This is never explained why they look so bizarre. They shoot the other guy and then the gang moves on its way.

As they're driving another car comes up and it turns out it's one of Joes WaAaAcKy friends who's like totally crazy and he jumps out of his car into theirs and Dussie does the same in reverse. The driver of the other car speeds off and then they get worried when they see the car abandoned later on down the road. Turns out some redneck hick (Jesse Plemmons) took them hostage and he's dumping out a truckload of bodies into a mass grave. How did he kill these people? Why? Is he just a checkpoint? What's his motivation? No one knows. They come up and try to reason with him and and he starts asking where are you from and they all say some state and then one of Joes friends goes "Hong Kong" LMAAAOOOOO what. Dude just lie what's wrong with you. It's never explained but Jesse's character is supposed to be xenophobic but like... you never see a line that's like

>"them darn filthy for'ners ruined this country that's why we're at each others neck, hey yew brownskin where yew from"

He just very calmly asks each person where they're from and shoots them if they don't give a satisfactory answer? So weird. Where his xenophobia comes from is never explained and the old fatso fatty fat fat rams the car into him (despite them being in an open field and having guns and also you can very much hear a car that's about to run you over even if your back was turned to it, but okay go off queen) killing Jesse and stunning his friend but knocking the gun out of his hand. They all climb in and drive off while his friend is shooting at the car. They're shooting from behind the car and despite this the person in the back seat DIDN'T get hit, but fatso fatty fat (driver) DID get hit (in one of his many engorged arteries I persume) and starts to bleed out slowly.


Okay journo tards. There's three of you in the car so I presume you have a minimum of three brain cells to work together here. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN SOMEONE IS BLEEDING????




The journotards - realistically depicting the lack of analytical thinking and sub-chimpanzee problem solveing skills that they have in the actual real world - do nothing except sneed :marseysneed: and cope :marseycope: about how their friend is gonna die and there's nothing they can do EVEN THOUGH THERE'S DEFINITELY MANY MANY DIFFERENT THINGS THEY COULD HAVE DONE TO PROLONG HIS LIFE UNTIL THEY REACH A HOSPITAL but alas there's nothing they can do. The next 15 mins is just wallowing around about how sad it is that my friend died a very preventable death that I did nothing to stop because I'm a fricking useless idiot. Then they get word that the Western Forces are gonna storm DC and take the white house (while wearing the pink kitty hats I'm guessing)



They enter the last third of the movie which is.... ooh boy. Bad. It's bad. Lot of shit is happening so I won't be able to do a play by play but I'll list my favorite and silliest scenarios that took place.

  • They have two humvees driving around a corner trying to take down a pill box. The journos are so close that they're touching one of the humvees and also the soldiers in front of them. From the perspective of a commanding officer it looks absolutely ridiculous. One of the humvees allows a missle to take it down, which is weird since it should have been laying down covering fire?

  • A helicopter hovers super low (like 20 ft off the ground) and fires from its miniguns into... nothing? Very few enemy combatants are shown. Fun fact about helicopters if you stuck a piece of tape on top of one of its propellers, it would decentralize it's gyroscopic mechanisms so much that it would fail to take off! :marseywholesome: Also another fun fact about helicopters, they can be taken down with small arms fire, WHICH IS WHY THEY NEVER GET TO ANYWHERE NEAR 20 FEET OFF THE GROUND UNLESS THEY'RE PICKING SOMETHING UP, ESPECIALLY NOT IN DANGER CLOSE HOT ZONES LIKE THIS ONE. A LITERAL PISTOL COULD HAVE TAKEN IT DOWN A HUNDRED MILLION DOLLAR HELICOPTER.

  • They have scene of a tank smashing through a barricade that - while all the other tanks look like modern day abrams - looks like it's from the 1960s. Movie director must not have been very popular with the DoD guy he was assigned lol.

A presidential van tries to make a run for it and stupidly smashes itself into a bunch of humvees and shit. The people inside (not president) try to come out with their hands up and are shot on sight. Maggie Gylenhaal has a hunch that the president isn't in there and heads into the white house. The troops show up and despite not knowing they were in there, DO NOT SHOOT THE JOURN*LISTS ON SIGHT even though they are pretty trigger happy but okay. They're following the fighting inside the white house and taking pictures and are extremely danger close. I honestly doubt they would have let war reporters literally breathe down their necks while they're reloading. Anyway due to some plot contrivance Dussie is in the middle of a hallway and is about to get shot but Maggie pushes her out of the way and gets shot herself. Then they go up to the white house press secretary which is like "please let us negotiate safe release and passage to some other state" and one of the grunts is like "I will never agree to that deal" and shoots her which is weird because why would some expendable grunt have ANY negotiating power? And also wouldn't key cabinet members as well as the president themselves be good to keep alive so you can execute them publicly as a show of force? I tell you these guys do NOT get coups man. They find Ron Swanson, give him some last words and then shoot him in the head. Then the movie ends with everyone next to the body like they're photographic a fish (I kinda like this shot tho, lol)


They have a strange amount of jumpscares where they'll be like periods of quite and all of the sudden there'll be loud gunfire? And it won't really coincide with the plot - which is to say it's not relevant at that moment more so than at any other point in the movie. It's just bad and it scared me :marseyindignant:

tropes tropes and more tropes

  • stack up on me!

  • ah I'm shot but it's okay it's only a little bleeding

how stupid everything is

Anyway this movie was dumb and luckily you don't have to watch it because you read my review! Yayyyyyyyy :)


Battlefield Earth (2000) is the infamous Scientology propaganda film commissioned by John Travolta. It is considered one of the worst moves ever made, but I'd never seen it before yesterday.

It is now one of my favourite films. :marseyprojection:

Literally everthing about this movie is hillariously bad. The sheer incompetence is awe-inspiring and I didn't want it to end.

Story & Writing

In Battlefield Earth, a species of 10-foot tall aliens called Psychlos (seriously) run a mining colony on Earth after conquering the planet a thousand years ago after a war lasting just nine minutes. Humans are now reduced to stone-age tribes in irradiated wastelands, or slaves of alien masters.

I can't really say much more except it makes no sense. The Psychlos believe "man-animals" are too stupid to mine for gold, but they already employ humans as a labour force in their city. :marseyhuh2:

Also, how the heck did illiterate tribesmen learn to fly Harrier attack jets in seven days without electricity or fuel?

The film is filled with the most ham-fisted exposition I've ever heard. As an audience-member, can you understand what blackmail is? Yes? Too bad! We're going to tell you anyway in 90 additional seconds of dialogue!

The Acting

John Travolta stars the scheming Psychlo security chief named Terl (seriously), trying to earn a transfer off the planet. His nemesis is the human Johnny Goodboy (seriously), played by a wooden Barry Pepper, who must lead humans to freedom.

Travolta's (and everyone else's) performance is so far over the top, he can't see all the way down. He isn't chewing the scenery, he is engorging himself upon it. Hense my favourite line in any movie anywhere:

If you ever wanted to see John Travolta in dreadlocks and a codpiece shooting the legs off a cow, this is the film for you.

Even Forest Whitacker, who's acting talent is undeniable, is wasted with nothing to do except deliver terrible dialogue.


A "Dutch angle" is a filming technique where the camera is tilted off the horizon to portray a scene of uneasiness or tension.

Literally the entire film is shot in this way. It looks like the DP had a stroke.

Also, there are loads of corny slo-mo shots, an over-use of wipe transitions, and most scenes are shot with an ugly, sickly purple filter.


Battlefield Earth is all over the place. Fast-paced action set pieces are inter-cut with corny slo-mo. Thematically important scenes are not allowed to breathe, but are immediately followed by more exposition or John Travolta overacting.

Special Effects

Honestly, for 2000, the special effects aren't half bad. It all looks ugly as sin, of course. But I think this was a deliberate choice rather than technical negligence.


This film is worse than I ever thought possible and lives up to its reputation. But it's so bad, it became a joy to watch. I found myself laughing many times at the sheer absurd awfulness of this movie.

If you haven't seen Battlefield Earth, I thoroughly recommend it. I love this movie.

Happy 420 to those of you that celebrate

Weed makes me paranoid/anxious so I don't consume BUTโ€ฆ.

Weed is legal in IL and two summers ago @Takoyucki visited me. He liked weed so I ofc went to the dispensary near me and picked up some gummies etc so we could partake.

We went to the field museum (I was high af, pretty inexperienced with marijuana) and then to the taste of Chicago. The Taste of Chicago had really tight security and literally this security guard woman took me aside and was like โ€œWE DON'T ALLOW DRUGS IN HEREโ€. I didn't have any on me (had just had edibles earlier in the day) but had no idea how the frick she knew I was high. Likeโ€ฆ.amazing call lady. I wasn't even giggling.


Original post:

Deleted apology:

New apology for the apology:

Various sneeding:

Rightoids making hay:

Actually important people (in Bong terms):

Reddit threads:

Post-apology: (warming up)



Most Based Comments

Basedness: ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜

And you deserve prison, but you won't get timeYou'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars (18)

Basedness: ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜

I haven't listen to the second part yet. Anything I should know before I do? (10)

Basedness: ๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜

I'm new here. How do you guys know which songs are about Joe and which songs are about Matty? (12)

Angriest Comments

Angriness: ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

Still working my way through the 2am tracks but god darn taylor did you really have to write i hate it here? two albums in a row of being emotionally destroyed by 2am tracks that i stg you wrote about my life. cool. ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ (10)

Angriness: ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

track 5 ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ (11)

Angriness: ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

โ€œi'd say the 1830s but without all the racistsโ€ ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ (16)

Biggest Lolcow: /u/cheapthrills121

Score: ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฎ(+2๐Ÿฎ)

Number of comments: 26

Average angriness: ๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜

Maximum angriness: ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ”˜

Minimum angriness: ๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜

NEW: Subscribe to /h/miners to see untapped drama veins, ripe for mining! :marseyminer:

:marppy: autodrama: automating away the jobs of dramautists. :marseycapitalistmanlet: Ping HeyMoon if there are any problems or you have a suggestion :marseyjamming:

Amerimutts bankrupt the Red Lobster chain after they offer endless shrimp

I'm not factchecking this, I choose to believe it :marseychonker2#:


Now, as you may instantly notice, the amount of stereotypes is so high that if someone from here made an account like that theyd get bullied and spammed with :marsey#octopus4:

Lets start our analysis

First the name:

Mx. Kestrel

Off to a good start, we have an unironic use of Mx. Lets keep going

Next, the pfp:

The flag in the background, the greasy hair, the unevenly shaved beard. All on a picture that is usually meant to look appealing. The stereotypes keep piling up

Next on: The BIO

Painfully queer.๐Ÿ’€ White silence is white consent. โœŠ๐ŸปโœŠ๐ŸฝโœŠ๐Ÿฟ Lead Community Manager for @PokemonGoApp. ๐ŸŽฒ They/them. Opinions are my own.

:marseyemojirofl: Are we certain this is not a parody?

Lets see their recent posts next


Fat androgynous blob in emo dark clothing :marseyxd:

Some angry pokechuds in the replies here, not much though.

Unsuprisingly, however, it appears the redesign was meant to accomodate xer and allow xim to self insert more easily. Because, say what you want, they/them surely nailed their look in game:

:marseyd#arkxd: :marseyd#arkxd: :marseyd#arkxd:

Click the post for a jumpscare of the guy next to xer. How do they manage to look like blatant bait while being completely unironic. Truth is truly stranger than fiction

And a recent feedback post. Suprisingly, not much pokechuds around here. Likely got them all blocked.

I've been reading and building notes, but I'd love to hear what folks think.

But you can find thousands of chuds seething abotu xem elsewhere, for example on the profile of a mexican neo nazi p-dophile Kaguya's Top Gal:

Look who is working at Niantic. What a shock

Transphobes in shambles :marseylaughpoundfist:

!transphobes :marseyravecope:


Reported by:


!accelerationists !chuds



fricking christ


Most Based Comments

Basedness: ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜

It also has nothing to do with millennials (51)

I would say that is incorrect seeing as how millennials have children who are in grade school now and potentially going to encounter this wild phenomenon that is plaguing this country currently (-31)

Basedness: ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜

'Plaguing' is dramatic man. Come on (21)

Did you just assume my gender? (-10)

Basedness: ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜

"I kinda want Trump to win" ...."I'm basically a socialist!" ๐Ÿค” aight (51)

Ngl I might vote Trump. Biden has been very disappointing especially with the recent UN Vote on Palestinians Recognition. Trump himself said that Palestinians wants peace. Joe just doesn't do shit. Frick you Joe. Palestinians are massacred because of you. I feel like Trump's Vision of America First makes lots of folks attracted to it. America's foreign policy should be independent yet lots of out Politicians are endorsed by AIPAC. I'm not anti semite, lots of Democrats & Republicans are sponsored by AIPAC which is the main Israel Lobby group. Trump himself proposed a Palestinian State with Tunnels connecting Gaza & West Bank. I feel like it's our only choice for a peace world. Palestinians have to accept the fact that some of their lands will have to be colonised forever by Israel. But, if it's to stop the bombings and killings, yes. I mean, Even If I vote dems it's not like we're gonna get socialist policies. They're all just lobbyist for corporations. Can't do much tbh. America mak... (-13)

Angriest Comments

Angriness: ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

You're objectively a bad person.What makes one minority group more worthy of respect than another? Also, how can you refuse to read what other people say, and still consider your argument in good faith? (0)

LMAO you could have made ANY other comparison, quite literally an INFINITE amount of examples, but you chose to use a racist example because you're a racist. A racist calling me a bad person, that's rich. I won't be responding to you anymore, have the day you deserve. You aren't worth of respect, you racist POS. (0)

Angriness: ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

Why is this even something you think about? This is like .01% of the population. (Both trans and an athlete) And of those, not many of them are even remotely successful. Furthermore. How invested are you in women's sports outside of trans people's participation? So if the answer is "not much" or getting defensive like "wow I can't defend the sanctity of blah blah blah" then I would posit that you have had your mind made up for you by talking heads and not based on the actual data that exists for these things. There are ways that exist that ensure leveled playing fields that leave room for being inclusive. And in these leveled playing fields, trans people can still win, and that's ok. (27)

Oh my gosh, I played 3 sports in high school back in the 70's after Title IX passed and on each team there were girls that some would claim were guys in drag. This shit never ends.Those that whined the loudest didn't even play sports but felt the need to let everyone know what their opinions on girls playing sports were (against it) and especially were outright against any female body that didn't conform to their standards, especially those whose bodies looked more "manly" in their eyes.They would also proclaim that the more "manly" bodied girls shouldn't even be on the teams as it wasn't fair to the other girls. Those that had naturally tall and built bodies were called cute butches, and some, were accused of being men in drag.What was different back then was there wasn't this amount of craziness on blast. The bigots got drowned out. We didn't listen to them and we did what wanted regardless if it displeased more conservative folks.The hyperfocus today on "trans" and sports smacks of the ... (7)

Angriness: ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

I feel this is a stupid culture war thing and unless there is specific effect on your personal life wasting a bunch of time and resources giving a shit about it is useless. If less then 2 percent of people are trans and and even smaller percent of those group are a. Interested in sports and b. Female to male this statistically isn't an issue worth wasting this much energy on. Where is the outrage when a no skilled 7 foot 8th grader dominates women's or men's jv sports? This is a made up problem perfect for today's dumb butt Americans who have to demonize and politicize everything. (2)

Biggest Lolcow: /u/chris_rage_

Score: ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜

Number of comments: 19

Average angriness: ๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜

Maximum angriness: ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜

Minimum angriness: ๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜๐Ÿ”˜

NEW: Subscribe to /h/miners to see untapped drama veins, ripe for mining! :marseyminer:

:marppy: autodrama: automating away the jobs of dramautists. :marseycapitalistmanlet: Ping HeyMoon if there are any problems or you have a suggestion :marseyjamming:

Bitcoin :bitcoin: Network mines it's 840,000th block and reaches its 4th halving :marseyparty3: :marseymerchant:
The 2nd Stage of Colonization of r/Grimdank is underway - behold ye cucks :soywarhammer: :soywarhammer: :soywarhammer:

There have been gradually more and more SRDine :marseycanned: :marseycanned: type posts on /r/Grimdank, with less memes and more shitlib gloating and preaching to their choir

LGBT trying not to use Slaanesh :marseyslaanesh: :marseyslaanesh: :marseyslaanesh: as proof of historic representation, a literal space-heck demonic manifestation of excess, degeneration and depravity.

"Yes but the imperium is EEEEVIL tooooooo" :soywarhammer:

Even other moderate liberals find this rapid hyper turbospeed charged circlejerk to be exhausting

OP is an especially cringe example of a turbo redditor


"Not really a good thing that the people who care about the lore are leaving. It only means that such consoomer attitudes will remain and GW is rife with them enough as it is"

"people who realy care about the lore dont complaing about such minor change" :smugtranstwitter: :smugtranstwitter: :smugtranstwitter:

"People who really care about the lore will complain about every single minor change. Its a hobby that rewards those who value attention to detail." :soywarhammer:

Incel gets downvoted :marseydownvotemad: :marseydownvotemad: :marseydownvotemad: :stoningdownvotes: :stoningdownvotes: :stoningdownvotes:


"There is gonna be nothing fun left in this world is there" :marseybeanpensive:

"You are unhinged and evil"


"That's the price for my labor. It's so high because you're asking in bad faith." :marseyxd: :marseyxd: :marseyxd: Actually funny leftoid

Anyways 1/3 posts on the front page is basically wokes gloating

Reported by:
Redditors suddenly are free speech advocates

My mom was surprised to learn that Italy wasn't on her side and her dad was a Marine in Japan who came home mostly deaf from the gunfire. :marseyhmm:


Some post about a dude going bonkers at a soccer game or w/e the sport is called gets community noted for linking fans to domestic violence.

Women offended in replies:

Good god what is the matter with him ? Silly boy. :marseybabushka:

There is enough evidence there to arrest him and ban him for life :marseywomanmoment2:

I'm so glad my husband cannot be arsed with football & football culture. :marseychonkerfoid:

Nasty little thug. Make him famous. :taylorlorenzcrying:

Some right wingers in the quote tweets:

White men having fun is the single most revolutionary act in The Culture today

It causes them to recoil in horror, circle the wagons, launch hapless screeds; literally nothing else bothers them this much. :chudturbospergout2:

The same women who support mass immigration from the 3rd world are upset over lads having a bit of spat. :marseyshesright:

Dudes like this conquered half the planet, and handed the West the incredible legacy of a comfortable future. The bugman mind simply cannot comprehend why this is good. This masculine spirit of conquest lives on today only in tightly controlled outlet spaces (like sports), but even those spaces are under siege because the left knows how much of a threat such spirit is to their own vicious and effeminate power structures - once it breaks out of its gilded cage... :marseyxdoubt:

Teenage socialist chimes in:

Sports like football are the result of toxic and violent masculinity. It WILL be abolished under socialism.

It's an excuse for men to be aggressive without judgement, often rooted in misogyny and xenophobia.

Hot take, I know. :marseymaoist:

The only sane response to the whole thing:

Lads being a tit at the football, but I'm not sure that means he goes home and kicks the women in his life in the head.

Proper weird correlation :marseybong:

Me showing off rdrama IRL

I made this yesterday when I was watching Shogun

Literally me if you care
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