sirpingsalot

he/him

The OG CATastrophe

58649 coins 100 marseybux 28 followers follows 2 users
joined 06 Jul 2021

Former member of Anonymous. I started Q-anon on 4chan but somebody stole my credentials and took the movement to 8chan. Whoops! Ah well, shit happens. If you get bent out of shape every time you start a religion and it goes off the rails a little, life becomes one perpetual pity party.

Any rumors that I have alien DNA are lies and slanders spread by neoliberal racists. Mayos are not aliens, except maybe for the royal family (I haven't got close enough to them yet to check - I'll report back to you when I have more information about that). However, the rumors that I am being stalked by Hollywood elites who want to steal my semen are entirely true.

I worship the god of war, who is an awesome dude.

Free Julian Assange!

Awards received

x5 x1 x3 x1 x1 x3 x3 x1 x1 x1 x4 x4 x2 x2 x1 x2 x1 x6 x12 x1 x1
1st Birthgay Bash Survivor Certified LOSER Beta User Bug Chaser Homoween 2021 Survivor Christmas 21 1 Year Old 🥰 God Save The Kween VAXXMAXXED Homoween 2022 Survivor

User ID: 2663

Coins spent: 4500

True score: 55391

Winnings: 0

2 / 936 hats owned (0.2%)

sirpingsalot

he/him

The OG CATastrophe

58649 coins 100 marseybux 28 followers follows 2 users joined 06 Jul 2021

Former member of Anonymous. I started Q-anon on 4chan but somebody stole my credentials and took the movement to 8chan. Whoops! Ah well, shit happens. If you get bent out of shape every time you start a religion and it goes off the rails a little, life becomes one perpetual pity party.

Any rumors that I have alien DNA are lies and slanders spread by neoliberal racists. Mayos are not aliens, except maybe for the royal family (I haven't got close enough to them yet to check - I'll report back to you when I have more information about that). However, the rumors that I am being stalked by Hollywood elites who want to steal my semen are entirely true.

I worship the god of war, who is an awesome dude.

Free Julian Assange!

Awards received

x5 x1 x3 x1 x1 x3 x3 x1 x1 x1 x4 x4 x2 x2 x1 x2 x1 x6 x12 x1 x1

User ID: 2663

Coins spent: 4500

True score: 55391

Winnings: 0

2 / 936 hats owned (0.2%)

1st Birthgay Bash Survivor Certified LOSER Beta User Bug Chaser Homoween 2021 Survivor Christmas 21 1 Year Old 🥰 God Save The Kween VAXXMAXXED Homoween 2022 Survivor
7
Why is there a unicorn at the bottom of some of my chudposts?!?

@sirpingsalot have a phobia of My Little Pony weeaboo stuff and @sirpingsalot find this very unnerving, please make it go away

@sirpingsalot don't mind saying Trans Lives Matter when @sirpingsalot is chudded but please take away the disgusting horselike abomination

The only unicorns @sirpingsalot appreciate are the human kind

:#trumpjaktalking:

19
Need a Rightoid Chud Award

I recently got chud awarded for three days by @murdervan and forced to say Trans Lives Matter for that entire time. Naturally I wanted to retaliate but since @murdervan is a Leftoid, saying "Trans Lives Matter" wouldn't really impact them much. I mean he probably sucks off a female shenis every day before breakfast, so it wouldn't really have much impact on them.

I think that in the interests of equality and radical centrism, we need a right wing analogue to the chud award.

I propose "the soy award." Instead of typing everything in uppercase, it would force you to type everything in lowercase, and instead of misspellings, there should be little flowers after each word. Instead of being forced to say "Trans Lives Matter" you should be forced to say "White Lives Matter," and instead of a MAGAchud we would see a Ramonajak.

This would be very helpful in helping rdrama's underserved chud clientele retaliate against the Chud Award and spend their precious dramacoin.

6
Too Many Cats

Is this one of you? Only a dramautist would think it's reasonable to have this many cats.

No word yet on whether the cats are orange patterned or not.

8
Hats (for Real)

I'm tired of all the bait and switch people are giving us with these hats. I was expecting real hats and instead we get some kind of "hat system"? This is bullshit.

Admins, if you're not willing to make hats of your own, give me the licensing authority to do so and I will make rdrama hats and sell them on Amazon. In fact I'll even kick back some of the profits to you. Just tell me what kind of hats you want to see.

Reported by:
41
Bait Idea: Is Taylor Swift Problematic?

This is a trolling op idea designed to dunk on wokies. As we all know, the best way to troll a wokie is to point out their hypocrisy and publicly force them to live up to the deranged morality that they try to force upon others – and the best way to do that is accelerationism. For example, a woke HR manager will constantly be talking about how “whiteness is problematic” until he gets fired because he's white and the HR department is not diverse enough. A leftoid on Twitter will constantly talk about how “Cancel Culture does not exist” until they say something that diverges in some miniscule way from the NPC narrative at which point they find out very quickly that Cancel Culture is a real thing when they get cancelled. Basically most wokies are selfish narcissists who don’t believe the other side’s problems exist until those problems directly impact them, so the fastest way to give wokies an attitude adjustment is to make your problems into their problems.

How does this relate to Taylor Swift? Simple. Taylor has an army of dedicated fanatics known as “Swifties” who furiously stan their queen and will attack anybody who goes after her. And Taylor recently went on record as supporting wokeness because she wanted to be “on the right side of history.” So let’s show her what “the right side of history” means to somebody like her, and what kind of direct impact her political positions can have on her personally. Let’s cancel Taylor Swift.

It shouldn’t be too hard to do. She’s an attractive blond white woman, so many woke BIPOCs will be inclined to hate her just for that. She was born to a wealthy family and got an unfair headstart in the music industry because her father literally bought a piece of the record label that made her a success. She consistently dates celebrities, so most wokies (who tend to be unattractive) are inclined to be jealous of her. And despite dating far and wide, Taylor Swift has never once dated a trans man, and as we know from the woke transgender movement, refusing to date a trans man is highly transphobic. Finally, when a neurodivergent black man with mental illness got drunk and embarrassed Taylor, not only did she weaponize “white woman tears” in an attempt to destroy Kanye, but she also held a grudge and tried to destroy his career again later on when he reached out to her in an attempt to mend fences. If Kim Kardashian hadn’t recorded that infamous call, Taylor’s attempt at playing the victim would have hurt Kanye very badly. In short, if you looked up “white privilege” in a dictionary, underneath it you would see a picture of Taylor Swift.

Here is a beautiful pic of Taylor being unwilling to touch a black girl. She sure doesn’t treat white girls the same way. Seems like some easy photographic evidence to fuel the race controversy.

Finally, it wouldn’t be a Sir Pingsalot post without a bit of conspiracy theorizing, so let’s talk about Taylor Swift’s recent behavior. Three albums out but not a single concert tour ever since Covid started? Sounds like Taylor has an immune system disorder, and if I had to guess I would say that it’s HIV. So not only is Taylor a privileged white woman using her platform and white woman tears to marginalize people of color, but on top of that she’s also a plague rat secretly spreading her illness throughout the celebrity community. Whom else has she victimized? Did she deliberately try to infect the Weeknd with HIV? It’s really suspicious that her Endgame music video matches up so well to the Weeknd’s “Starboy” music video, when the cat is following him into the car but becomes a panther when they’re alone. Didn’t Taylor Swift describe herself as a “cat person?”

On to the final point: why is this important? Why target Taylor specifically? Granted, she’s an evil narcissistic hypocrite who adopts whatever political positions are currently trendy rather than doing what’s right, but couldn’t the same thing be said about many celebrities who preach a sanctimonious self-sacrificing morality but totally fail to live up to their own ethical standards in private? The reason why is because Taylor has an army of woke Swifties, and she has gone on record as supporting the cancellation of other celebrities. It's important to send the message that if you choose to live by the cancellation, you'll get to die by the cancellation also. When the armies of wokeness start attacking Taylor, I estimate that at least half the Swifties will start viciously defending her, causing a massive schism between the Swifties who believe Queen Taylor can do no wrong and the Swifties who believe that actually she should apologize (even though the wokies wouldn't accept the apology or would simply say that "it's too little, too late!"). At that point, anybody who defends Taylor can be accused of being racist and perpetuating white supremacy, and the whole thing will escalate into a massively dramatic clusterfrick – a scissor statement of gigantic proportions designed specifically to kill the woke movement dead in its tracks by creating endless twitter infighting among a huge segment of the wokie cultists. And that, as we know, is great for Dramacoin.

Anyway, I’m going to do this because it sounds fun, and I can’t ever hope to become President of the United States just by sitting on my butt and letting other people do all the work for me. (Dream big, kids!) But I just wanted to let you all know about this plan so that we could start laying the groundwork in advance for this – although it seems like some woke journ*lists already beat me to it. They really do love eating their own, don’t they?

Stay Dramatic, Friends!

Reported by:
96
Does Taylor Swift have HIV? (Celebrity Gossip Post)

Hi everybody, as many of you know from my longposts, I’m a member of the rationalist community, and that means I like to collect interesting facts and data and use them to build a more accurate picture of the world. You may be wondering “Why bother with all this nerd shit?” The answer of course is “Because it’s fun!” but if you really need another reason it would be “Because when you understand the world more accurately, you can absolutely minmax the trail of destruction you leave behind you,” and that of course causes tons of interesting drama.

Anyway, one little pet project I was working on during Covid was trying to collate data to determine which specific celebrities have immune system disorders. You may not be aware of this, but California is one of the few states where people don’t have to disclose their STD status. Supposedly that’s because they ran the data and determined that forcing people to disclose made them less likely to get tested, but that’s total bullshit. The truth is that Hollywood lobbyists are very powerful in California and celebrities have a disproportionate amount of representation in their state government. Because most celebrities have a ton of groupies and celebs aren’t exactly the kind of people with enough foresight to use protection, a lot of celebs are absolutely riddled with STDs. Of course, being selfish narcissists, they don’t want to endanger their flow of hot groupie girl peepee (or peepee) by disclosing their STD status, so they successfully lobbied the California state legislature into passing laws where they don’t have to disclose their various STDs. After all, their adoring fangirls might be a bit less eager to hop on their peepees if they knew that they might contract HIV by doing so.

Because I dodged a bullet myself when it comes to STDs (my ex-wife, an evil selfish whore, cheated on me and was possibly trying to deliberately infect me with an STD simply because she disagreed with some of my moral and political views) I naturally have a bit of personal resentment towards the kind of human garbage who deliberately hide their STD status from their sexual partners, especially when they portray themselves as good upstanding members of society. I enjoy outing these people publicly so that everybody can identify them as the evil trash they are, and that’s why I decided to follow celebrity news very closely during Covid. I’ve always hypothesized that the number of celebrities with HIV was probably an order of magnitude higher than most demographics, and it would be easy to figure out which celebrities had the worst immune disorders by how vigorously they isolated and socially distanced themselves during Covid.

Anyway, I’m a longtime fan of Taylor’s music, and in fact a long time ago I participated in a fun little 4chan prank on her – sending her to perform at a School for the Deaf. This wasn’t entirely spiteful on my part – my parents domestic assistant is deaf, so I’m aware that they can “hear” music through vibrations, and I thought it would be cool for an underappreciated minority group to have something nice. But mostly I wanted a free Taylor Swift concert for myself. I’m very good at stealth and blending in and just general sneaky infiltration stuff and I figured it would be relatively easy to grab a seat for myself and enjoy a concert that only a few people would ever get to hear. Also, I’m pretty sure Taylor used to frequent 4chan anonymously, and celebrity shit-stirrers who hang out in our online territory are an anomaly of interest to me. That’s why I originally became a Swifty, and since then I have followed Taylor’s career with great interest. I’ve heard rumors that she was a massive slut in her early 20s, but that’s not something I judge people on - because frankly, I was a massive man-slut in my late 20s, so I don’t have any moral high horse to sit on here. I’m just telling you this to add some context so that my gossip post makes more sense to you.

Anyway, during Covid I was browsing the celebrity news doing all my neurodivergent pattern-matching and correlating, and to my surprise one of the celebrities whose behavior matched most significantly to potential immune system disorders was none other than the original /r/drama mascot, Ms. Swift herself. I was puzzled so I decided to do more research. The thing you may not understand about Taylor (but which most Swifties already know) is that she is a compulsive clue-dropper. She always leaves puzzles and clues and easter eggs in her music videos to indicate some hint about her next song and/or music video. This is clever marketing but I think that to a certain degree it is also a personality trait of hers. She can’t help dropping clues any more than the Riddler can resist leaving cryptic messages for Batman. Even if it doesn’t help them achieve their goals in any way, for certain people this kind of behavior can be a compulsion. So with that in mind, I decided to go over Taylor’s past documentaries and music videos to see if there were any clues about this interesting situation that I might have missed.

Exhibit 1: Miss ameriKKKana documentary

In the Miss ameriKKKana documentary, Taylor’s mom is seen saying how proud she is of Taylor “after all the crap she had to deal with.” What crap? Being born wealthy and privileged? Having her wealthy banker dad finance her entry into the music business by buying a piece of the studio she recorded her first album at? Taylor has had one of the smoothest and easiest rides to the top that any singer has ever been able to enjoy. The only way her mom’s comment makes much sense is if there is something about Taylor’s private life that the rest of us don’t know.

Exhibit 2: Bad Blood song

Did you ever read the lyrics to Bad Blood translated into a different language, and then translate it back? If you do, you’ll notice something quite interesting – once the English colloquialism of “bad blood” as a synonym for dislike is removed, the song lyrics about “bad blood” become far more literal. Taylor Swift literally has bad blood. The entire song lyrics are about how somebody infected her with HIV. “Did you have to hit me Where I'm weak? Baby, I couldn't breathe And rub it in so deep” is a reference to sex. “Did you have to ruin What was shining? Now it's all rusted” is a reference to the fact that Taylor is now unable to have children, something which she is notoriously sensitive about. All of this is a result of her literal “bad blood.”

Exhibit 3: Covid Isolation

One thing that is very noticeable about Taylor in comparison to other musicians (and what caught my attention in the first place as I was doing my little analysis) is how thoroughly she distanced herself during Covid. Basically she hid in a remote house in the wilderness. Nobody could approach her unless they had been very thoroughly Covid-tested. Isn’t it weird that somebody who loves the hustle and bustle of the city so much – who literally wrote a song about how much she loves New York City - would suddenly develop such an appreciation for the wilderness? It’s a massive deviation from her usual pattern, and in general, people don’t change that much without a very good reason.

Exhibit 4: Vaccinations and Testing Everywhere

At almost every large social event that Taylor attended, every single person has been thoroughly COVID-tested. Her birthday. Lena Dunham’s wedding (where she was a bridesmaid). Clearly the people close to Taylor are aware of her medical status and go out of their way to make sure their events are safe for people with immune system disorders.

Exhibit 5: Concert Tour cancellation

Even today – two years after Covid shut down society – Taylor Swift is one of the few musicians who hasn’t toured. Isn’t that a little bit weird? It’s doubly weird when you consider that she has released three albums during that time, all in complete isolation from society. Most musicians are very keen to do a tour after releasing an album because it is a good way to promote album sales. But not Taylor. As Covid becomes a worldwide pandemic, she withdraws farther and farther from society.

Exhibit 6: Defensiveness about children

An interviewer once made the mistake of asking Taylor about when she planned to have children, and Taylor shut him down uncharacteristically hard. “Men don’t get asked that question,” she said, and it was hailed as a girlboss empowerment moment. But I can’t help wondering why somebody who is generally extremely friendly to the media – a woman publicly adored for her niceness – would be so uncharacteristically sharp in her response to that question.

Exhibit 7: Missing her boyfriend’s movie premiere

A lot of people don’t know this, but it’s common practice in the celebrity world to have “dating contracts” – an agreement where two celebrities privately agree to publicly date each other for the publicity. Generally speaking, the less popular celebrity pays the more popular celebrity for the privilege of dating so that they can get their “glow-up.” (Not to be confused with glowie, for all you Qanon fans.) I don’t know for sure if this is the relationship that Taylor and Joe Alwyn have, but their behavior matches the pattern. A lot of public displays of support for Joe’s movie premieres (very important to live up to the contract, of course). Not a lot of kissing or public displays of affection (why would a woman with HIV risk her health by kissing somebody all the time, after all they might have herpes or something that could cause a lot of problems to somebody with her condition). A lot of privacy (which of course is for very good reasons). Basically Taylor seemed like somebody who was dutifully living up to a contractual relationship designed to give Joe Alwyn his “glow-up” and then… nothing. Once Covid started, she began skipping almost every single large social event, including his recent premier at Cannes. After all, safety first, right?

I want to emphasize that all of this is just hypothesis and speculation. I am not saying that I know for sure that Taylor Swift has HIV, because Taylor is known to be very litigious (part of the reason that she’s the original mascot of /r/drama) and so I want to be clear that I'm not stating anything here as a hard fact. All I’m doing is sharing gossip and rumors, which I know you dramautists love. However, I would say that this is an educated guess, and my confidence level is pretty high. If I had to guess, I would say I have 90% confidence.

Now you might say “Aren’t you a Swifty? How can you betray Taylor like this?” But when I say I’m a Swifty, that doesn’t mean I have any sort of emotional connection to Taylor: it just means that I’m a big fan of her music, and I admire the way she leaves a trail of breadcrumbs in her music videos (something which I took inspiration from when creating Qanon, because the participatory aspect helped facilitate the creation of a community designed to analyze and obsess over each Q drop, in much the same way as Taylor’s fans analyze and obsess over each easter egg hidden in her songs). I don’t believe in attaching a lot of significance to parasocial relationships because a lot of celebrity interactions are carefully curated and designed to elicit a specific emotional response. As somebody who specializes in spreading emotional responses over the internet (specifically, the beautiful emotion of anger), I’m very familiar with how emotions can be manipulated by social media, because I do it literally all the time. At the end of the day, I believe that most celebrities don’t really care about their fans. As somebody with diametrically opposed politics to mine, Taylor wouldn’t give a shit about my well-being and in fact she would probably be happy to murder me if she could boost her fame profile out of it, so I’m not particularly invested in her own best interests either. I’m just here to talk shit, spread gossip, and hopefully one day become a contender for our coveted Drama Outreach Award. So, fellow dramautists, where do you think I should post this gossip to make it really pop?

6
Best Celebrity Gossip Sites

Hi, I'm hoping one of you can help me with this. What are the best subs on Reddit to hear (and drop) celebrity gossip? I tried DeuxMoi but they have a rule about being nice to people and I would prefer not to be nice.

Reported by:
28
Does Anybody Want To Help Me Build a Dramautist AI?

I'm looking for Dramautists who have programming experience to help me build a Dramautist AI. Let me give you some background on what I am envisioning and why this would be good for drama.

A long while ago, when I was just out of college, I would use Photoshop to create fake news articles. I was surprised at how many people believed them, just because they had pictures attached. This led me to my next passion project, editing Wikipedia articles to be entertaining rather than factual. It turns out that if you are good enough at manipulating people's data sources, you can get them to believe in a whole alternative reality that doesn't exist, something which I call the Mandela Effect. I like to think of myself as an early pioneer in the field of Fake News.

Later on, I decided to build on this dramatic success by making people angry about Culture War issues, to see if I could impact politics. One of the tools I used was a scripting algorithm to quantify the amount of anger in online threads about g*mergate and bump the angriest threads to the top of the main page. I felt that this was very successful. But we can do more, and as Dramautists, are we not obligated to?

Now that technology has advanced so far, I think that we now have the tools and technology to build robust industrial-strength AIs that can actively manipulate elections. We could put any candidate we wanted in office - think of the Drama potential! Not to mention that we could both improve the world and make a ton of money simply by putting our own political candidates into office. Since Dramautists are both smarter and better looking than normies, it's obvious that it would be a significant improvement to the world if we were in charge.

The trouble with my plan is that my programming skills are very rusty. I'm a Gen-X guy and I don't have experience with all the cool new AI toys that you millennials have, like Tensorflow or GPT3. I could really use some help on that. I do have two decades of experience in the technology field and a fair bit of project management experience, so I think I could still be pretty useful to the cause even though I don't have a ton of experience with AI coding. Also, I do have a ton of experience in hacking people's thought processes and I think that would be very useful in terms of making sure our AI had the innate craftiness and feral cunning of a true Dramautist.

I'm not a selfish guy - if this project ended up making money, I'd be happy to split it with everybody on the team. I'm just very passionate about our Drama Outreach Program and I think that if we cooperated as a team, we would stand a much better chance of winning that coveted Outreach award and earning some Dramacoin. Who's in?

10
How Many Of Us Live In Massachusetts

I keep seeing drama threads where people mention they live in Massachusetts. How many of us unironically live here? And would you have any interest in an rdrama meetup, if I were to organize one? Now that Covid is almost over I want to get out and meet more people, but it's so hard to find based people because it feels like everybody's always virtue-signalling all the time.

4
I am not a Normiephobe

In the past, some people have unfairly accused me of being a normiephobe, or an aspie supremacist. I just want to put these evil slanders to rest. I am not a normiephobe. "Phobia" is when you're scared of something and I am not scared of normies, on the contrary I have compassion for them. Their naive little brains have trouble comprehending context and nuance. Instead of analyzing things using critical thinking or doing their own research, they are forced to outsource their thinking about difficult topics to external sources like CNN or MSNBC.

I have great sympathy for normies. It must be very challenging not to be able to have complex thoughts on a subject and to be forced to reduce all your ethical and moral beliefs to short catchphrases like "SiLeNcE iS ViOlEnCe" or "LiStEn AnD bELiEvE." I don't know how I would be able to function in that scenario and I have great compassion and tolerance for the normies, or "wambs" as some call them. I hope to build a world where both wambs and normies are able to access all the resources that they need to be fully functioning members of society.

Anyway, I just wanted to set the record straight about that. If I were a normiephobe, why would I have so many normie friends? It just doesn't make any sense. The people who make these kinds of hateful accusations are almost always normies themselves who are struggling with their own internalized normiephobia and project it outwards onto the rest of the world. I want to encourage everybody here to be supportive and tolerant of their normie friends. It's not their fault that they're born like this, and they are just as valid and legitimate as any rdrama autist here.

4
Country Club Membership

Hi, I was just curious about how one gets into the Country Club. I seem to have a lot of admirers and haters there which is really weird considering that I'm one of the nicest rdrama posters here. (I admit that I do agendapost from time to time, but I'm trying to do better.) Is there any way to get into the Country Club without showing my bussy? It's a little bit hairy at present so I'm very self-conscious about showing it, especially to bussy-crazed perfectionists such as you.

:marseytrans2: :trans: :marseythumbsup:

13
What Happened to "MarseyCapitalistLittleKing"?

The icon for that Marsey has disappeared. What happened? This is hindering my self-expression and quite literally oppressing my existence. Silence is violence, and we in the aspie communities are all being silenced by this brutal theft of our precious Marseys!

I demand that this Marsey be restored, and that the people responsible for stealing it be harassed and cancelled.