Imagine the hellscape these people want to create...
You wake up one morning and find you've run out of milk. There are no affordable utilities so you fire up a wood burner to melt the ice on the water jug you wash in, then empty your piss bucket into the pit at the end of the garden (because running a sewage system isn't directly profitable). Then, you fire up your methanol-powered agricultural half-track, the only vehicle that can navigate the untended, pothole-ridden roads, and set off towards the nearest settlement.
To get onto the """highway""" you have to pay a toll equivalent to a day's wages, or an equivalent value of methanol. The owner of the tollbooth has grown obscenely rich and has used his wealth to hire a private police force who patrol the highway in ex military vehicles, extorting bribes from travellers. The road is clogged with antiquated trucks and farmyard machinery, belching toxic fumes and moving at a crawl. After an hour and a half you arrive at a small settlement. None of it is built to any safety codes and the buildings are half-completed and crumbling due to subsidence; distant fires can be seen on the horizon, smouldering persistantly in the slums as the inhabitants are too poor to pay for fire insurance.
You go to the central part of town where a huge shopping centre has been built by the local cattle magnate. Consumer goods here are unaffordable due to the colossal rents, but milk and other bovine products are cheap in order to undercut all competition. You load up your tractor with as much milk as you can carry, paying with pre-1964 pennies you've hoarded for their high copper content.
On the way back your decrepit vehicle breaks down on the highway due to years of wear and tear; you beg for a tow but the other travellers demand you empty your methanol tanks and give them your milk as payment. The highway police fine you for causing an obstruction and drag your tractor off the road, telling you to walk home.
As you trudge back towards your homestead you take a short cut across country, going past the gated compound of the tollbooth owner. An armed marksman, posted to prevent the tollbooth owner's vietnamese child brides from trying to escape, fires a warning shot at your feet. Since you're outside the limits of his land you return fire with your pistol.
By the time you get home it's the late afternoon and you're starving, so you make a bowl of oatmeal with your milk. Unfortunately the FDA no longer exists and the milk hasn't been pasteurised, so you contract diphtheria. As symptoms worsen you call a doctor on your satellite phone but you can't afford at at-home consultation - you gave your last pre-1964 pennies to the highway police to avoid being detained, and the doctor won't accept payment in methanol. Over the next 48 hours you shit yourself to death, comforting yourself with the thought that the country is finally free from the oppression of big government.
/r/smuggies is an absolute shithole these days. I swear it has some of the biggest, least talented, humorless faggots on the site, and I've been on /r/ChapoTrapHouse
20 comments
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1 capthazelwoodsflask 2019-04-11
Probably also the type who demands a virgin bride.
1 -Steve_French- 2019-04-11
Probably also the type to make the child porn of his daughter
1 capthazelwoodsflask 2019-04-11
But she totally consented!
Same as she didn't consent to getting vaccinated when she was a baby.
1 Woolgun 2019-04-11
Children cannot consent you idiot.
Unless you give the kid a cut then it's fine.
1 Rentokill_boy 2019-04-11
bUt wHAt iF thE CHilD coNseNTS
1 JadedPartyOtter 2019-04-11
Its about ethics in child pornography.
1 LaylaCumiaFan420 2019-04-11
Baaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiit
1 -Steve_French- 2019-04-11
The first amendment explicitly states "the right to watch child porn on the internet, unimpeded and uncensored"
The founding fathers also founded /u/KotakuInAction
1 Rentokill_boy 2019-04-11
Imagine the hellscape these people want to create...
You wake up one morning and find you've run out of milk. There are no affordable utilities so you fire up a wood burner to melt the ice on the water jug you wash in, then empty your piss bucket into the pit at the end of the garden (because running a sewage system isn't directly profitable). Then, you fire up your methanol-powered agricultural half-track, the only vehicle that can navigate the untended, pothole-ridden roads, and set off towards the nearest settlement.
To get onto the """highway""" you have to pay a toll equivalent to a day's wages, or an equivalent value of methanol. The owner of the tollbooth has grown obscenely rich and has used his wealth to hire a private police force who patrol the highway in ex military vehicles, extorting bribes from travellers. The road is clogged with antiquated trucks and farmyard machinery, belching toxic fumes and moving at a crawl. After an hour and a half you arrive at a small settlement. None of it is built to any safety codes and the buildings are half-completed and crumbling due to subsidence; distant fires can be seen on the horizon, smouldering persistantly in the slums as the inhabitants are too poor to pay for fire insurance.
You go to the central part of town where a huge shopping centre has been built by the local cattle magnate. Consumer goods here are unaffordable due to the colossal rents, but milk and other bovine products are cheap in order to undercut all competition. You load up your tractor with as much milk as you can carry, paying with pre-1964 pennies you've hoarded for their high copper content.
On the way back your decrepit vehicle breaks down on the highway due to years of wear and tear; you beg for a tow but the other travellers demand you empty your methanol tanks and give them your milk as payment. The highway police fine you for causing an obstruction and drag your tractor off the road, telling you to walk home.
As you trudge back towards your homestead you take a short cut across country, going past the gated compound of the tollbooth owner. An armed marksman, posted to prevent the tollbooth owner's vietnamese child brides from trying to escape, fires a warning shot at your feet. Since you're outside the limits of his land you return fire with your pistol.
By the time you get home it's the late afternoon and you're starving, so you make a bowl of oatmeal with your milk. Unfortunately the FDA no longer exists and the milk hasn't been pasteurised, so you contract diphtheria. As symptoms worsen you call a doctor on your satellite phone but you can't afford at at-home consultation - you gave your last pre-1964 pennies to the highway police to avoid being detained, and the doctor won't accept payment in methanol. Over the next 48 hours you shit yourself to death, comforting yourself with the thought that the country is finally free from the oppression of big government.
1 dongslayer6669 2019-04-11
Too long didn't read 😴😴😴😴
1 Rentokill_boy 2019-04-11
boi this isn't drama there's no longpostbot here
1 employee10038080 2019-04-11
So, still unemployed then?
1 Heavy_handed 2019-04-11
Is this pasta? It's a pretty good one
1 employee10038080 2019-04-11
Oh boy, his comment histiry is quite the ride. Pretty sure he's an unironic BBC cuck
1 lyridsreign 2019-04-11
He IS an unironic BBC cuck
1 tendiesreee 2019-04-11
1 DeweaponizedAutism 2019-04-11
/r/smuggies is an absolute shithole these days. I swear it has some of the biggest, least talented, humorless faggots on the site, and I've been on /r/ChapoTrapHouse
1 Badroc 2019-04-11
Sad.
It used to be pretty centrist with both leftoids and rightoids smuggies.
Now it's just rightoid frens.