To be quite honest, I've actually smeared my shit on many many walls in my life

Nothing discourages a fast food employee more effectively than having to use a sponge and a washcloth to remove human feces from the walls of the restaurant, especially when they only get paid minimum wage, and you make God damn good and sure it will take them a couple hours to finish the job…

I've also written giant messages of discontent on people's walls with my own feces… You can be rest assured those people will never forget me, not in a million years…

My secret trick is to take a shit into an empty bread bag, twist it and tie it off, and when you arrive at your chosen target wall, simply untie the bag, slide the plastic bag down around your hand and over your wrist, so that way your hands aren't touching the feces, and it effectively becomes a gigantic Brown ballpoint pen