My magnum opus: 'Solipsistic Cents: A Radical Mayoist Solution to the Banned Question' inspired by Thomas Paine's 'Common Sense' (#1 Burgertopia best seller with exactly 90.69% of bannedcel rightoids and leftoids triggered)

 

As a heterosexual mayo male with a penis of mass oppression I hereby invoke regressive action: referenced by article 4b of the Bill of Political Incorrectness, demanding that I immediately be unbanned. This necessitates that a spared hetorosexual mayo male be executed by sacrificial law as is tradition.

 

The justification for this is supported by the Feelings over Facts judiciary industrial complex. In addition, the Declaration of Radical Solipsism mandates by law that my personal reality is to be unquestionably supported and enforced by members of the Radically Centrist oligarchy. In no circumstance may this document be re-purposed to benefit anyone but Myself.

 

Declaration of My personal reality:

 

• I have a reality: that My feelings are to glow proudly as a beacon of both legal and moral authority signifying My superiority to everyone else.
• I have a reality: that all human beings have been created subservient to Me. That one day I may bully with impunity, exerting my natural birthright of superiority over foids and non-mayos alike.
• I have a reality: that I am not only to be unbanned, but also made an approved submitter with custom "radically solipsistic" flair.
• I have a reality: that any veto be declared invalid due to vocal expression of My hurt feelings.