I’m new to the k-pop scene but k-drama has been famous all across Asia for a very long time and I grew up watching them. I wouldn’t claim I have a deep understanding of Korean culture but I do have a general grasp on what Asian cultures are like.

I’ve noticed that there’s a lot, “I’m gay for x” or “X and Y’s gay moments” when it comes to fangirl/boy-ing the k-pop stars. While that’s completely fine on the surface and all because I’m a little gay for Sunmi too. However, these “gay moments” that fans often talk about are just how friends treat each other in some parts of Asia. Yes, even guy friends are more physically affectionate towards each other. These blurred lines between platonic and romantic physical affection do not really come from trying to queerbait the fans. It comes from a long history not even recognizing homosexuality could be a thing.

In western culture, two guy friends holding hands or a girl sitting on her female friend’s lap and the friend squeezing her and doing cute things would be considered crossing the romantic or sexual affection territory. Therefore, it’s not something one would normally do in the west unless they do have non platonic feelings towards each other or when they are trying to bait the audience into thinking they are for controversy. On the other side of the world, this is just platonic. I can’t even tell you how “gay” my past friendships were with my female friends.

Although it’s all cute and fun, this is all coming from a dark place or not recognizing LGB people. I guess it’s just something to think about. If you’re a LGB yourself and looking for some sort of representation of it from k-pop stars, you’re probably looking for it in the wrong people. I’m glad that people are taking more interest in Asian other pop cultures that are not Japanese but I wish they explored a bit further too and not romanticize darker parts of the culture. Let’s just say X and Y were really gay but they would not come out officially and hide their feelings towards each other with some PDA. What kind of life is that like do you really want any LGB people to live in the closet forever because of backlash? If you really think about it, it’s not hot or cute at all.