Virtual code rape: are men too disorganized and retarded for proper OO and linting?

37 2019-08-15 by HardIsLife

A bunch of men came in and massacred my code base that I nurtured!!

First of all, STOP TURNING OFF MY LINTING, MEN! And it’s TABS! NOT SPACES!

It’s top, right, bottom, left, sweaty! Don’t do that top, bottom, left, right shit with me!! It’s CLOCKWISE!!! And I wrote mixins for you so use them!! And mixins come first and other properties come later. Mixins, position, display, width, height, padding, margin and so on.

And for the love of Idris Elba, learn how to inherit classes to avoid coding the same concept over and over again resulting in redundant code written in 10 different ways to achieve the same damn thing!!

And comment your functions!!!! Nobody knows what the hell they are doing and doesn’t have time to look through your mess. Therefore, new functions are created that do the same thing. Explain what your function does and explain about the parameters you are passing!! This is not typescript! I don’t know what a and b are supposed to be!! Comment the type of your params!!

Be freaking modular!!! Cannot just put everything together like a ball of tangled hair! Learn to decouple. My god!

Jquery Ajax? Is this 2008? Learn how to use axios and interceptors!! And stop using vars like a common whore!! And are men seriously hardcoding data in JSONs one by one for testing purposes. There are generators 🤦🏻‍♀️

And stop using headers without thinking about SEO impact!! Just because the copy is big in font size doesn’t mean it should be H1!!

And look at me in the eyes when talking to me!! 👀

Guys, I can’t even 🤦🏻‍♀️

Just keep your code clean and also take a shower! 🤦🏻‍♀️

54 comments

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1 Goes_Down_on_Women 2019-08-15

Ahh yes it's that elusive foidal autism in all it's glory y'all

1 HardIsLife 2019-08-15

😭

1 UUUU__UUUU 2019-08-15

And comment your functions!!!! Nobody knows what the hell they are doing and doesn’t have time to look through your mess.

Really? Comments? Are you still living in 2000's? It almost feels like last century. Do you think I'll amend the comment after fixing a bug in the function or make additions to it? Do you think the guy who comes next will update the comment after modifying the code?Who pays for shit like that eh!

What kind of an engineer are you that requires comments written in english to understand the code? Liberal art graduates read novels, esp that contains violent sex. Engineers read code like they read novels.

Jesus! I can't even ..

Never forget that dynamic scope is a cancer spread by companies that sell debuggers, just like food processing companies selling doritos. Haskell is like a kryptonite for those companies - if it compiles, it runs.

And btw, you don't seem to be too suited to write code. May be you could use your talents for porn? Don't believe Mia Khalifa; you can make a lot more money doing porn. Would you like to try?

This comment is bought to you by Gongoora Chicken. Gongoora is a leafy vegetable extremely rich in iron that's mostly grown and consumed in Andhra Pradesh state of India. They are naturally very sour to taste and give a distinct flavor to every dish that's cooked with these leaves. One of the most popular preperations is Gongoora Chicken. Visit your nearest Andhra Restaurant/South Indian Restaurant and enjoy to your heart's content.

1 HardIsLife 2019-08-15

Just because you have all the time in the world to look into someone else’s mess doesn’t mean the rest of us do, sweaty 💅🏼

Admit that you just want to see me naked instead of having an intellectual conversation, misogynist 🙄

1 NinetoFiveHeroRises 2019-08-15

i just wet my pants

1 UUUU__UUUU 2019-08-15

Just because you have a vejayjay you get to forget that your job is to write code that works for which you get paid, comments or no comments.

Does your naked body offer anything better than a billion others that are on porn island.

^{^I} ^{^am} ^{^not} ^{^saying} ^{^I} ^{^don't} ^{^want} ^{^to} ^{^see} ^{^your} ^{^naked} ^{^body} ^{^though.} ^{^A} ^{^boobie} ^{^is} ^{^always} ^{^welcome}

1 HardIsLife 2019-08-15

Excuse me 🙄 for putting effort into producing clean quality code that is easy to maintain and not just slapping together a bunch of hacks from stackoverflow.

^my boobies are ^smoll

1 UUUU__UUUU 2019-08-15

If you aren't writing code in clojure (dynamic,functional, java^TM, oppressive proprietary^TM) or Haskell (static, functional, academic^TM & opensource^TM) your code isn't clean. Or at least rust(opensource^TM pragatic^TM ). What world are you living in?

Let me ask you this question straight and clear - have you ever experienced "time traveling debugging"? In other words, an engineer's' nirvana. You can confirm it with Dalai Lama. Curious fact - Dalai Lama said he's gonnna reincarnate in India (use duckduckgo to search). Frankly, you do want nirvana right?

^{^All} ^{^boobies} ^{^are} ^{^great.} ^{^Look,} ^{^they} ^{^are} ^{^boobies,} ^{^okay?}

1 HardIsLife 2019-08-15

Random name drop doesn’t mean you show shit, sweaty 💅🏼

^penis-kun ^is ^cute

1 UUUU__UUUU 2019-08-15

Let me be very clear. Though I didn't say it earlier, I am not gonna take shower as frequently as you want me to. I conserve water. And IMO you should too. Every animal on serengeti loves body odor and they never shower with Dove^TM.

Though I didn't see them, I am almost sure your boobies are great and I'd lick them like kebab. Every horny male would.

I need to go now to celebrate our Independence day. Can you believe that it's the celebration of independence from former Great Britan which probably gonna break under weight of brexit?

Make sure you try out Gongoora Chicken and have a great orgasm.

This comment is bought to you by this propaganda: All coders unite and say no to showers. Save water, save planet. Join /r/HydroHomies

1 HardIsLife 2019-08-15

You’re starting to sound like a stinky backend or database engineer to me 😷

^you ^must ^be ^this ^{👨🏿‍🦱} ^to ^be ^anywhere ^near ^these ^Asian ^titties ^💅🏼

1 lol_te_gusto 2019-08-15

Rust is the only moral choice

1 SwiftOnSobriety 2019-08-15

And it’s TABS! NOT SPACES!

Are you 22? Do you seriously think people can tell the difference between indentation and alignment?

It’s top, right, bottom, left, sweaty! Don’t do that top, bottom, left, right shit with me!!

Imagine not just using the single directive, multiple argument versions of these like a real person.

Jquery Ajax? Is this 2008? Learn how to use axios and interceptors

Imagine not using XMLHttpRequest because you can't tie your shoes by yourself.

And stop using vars like a common whore

Imagine being so clueless on scoping that you need to use let like some sort of subhuman web-dev.

1 HardIsLife 2019-08-15

Of course, it works for padding and margin but what happens when you need to style the top, right, bottom and right? Huh? 🙄

1 SwiftOnSobriety 2019-08-15

Then you need to reevaluate your design decisions. And also your life decisions.

1 HardIsLife 2019-08-15

Imagine doing UX designer’s job without getting paid for it 🤣

1 ardasyenden 2019-08-15

you sound like a 2nd year CS student

1 HardIsLife 2019-08-15

I was from SA 😤🙄

1 DerekSavageCoolCuck 2019-08-15

Saudi Arabia?

1 HardIsLife 2019-08-15

Systems Analysis 🤦🏻‍♀️

1 ardasyenden 2019-08-15

hey could you give me some advice because I’m taking come CS courses when I head off to university in a week

1 SwiftOnSobriety 2019-08-15

hey could you give me some advice

Learn to code.

1 ardasyenden 2019-08-15

fuck I walked into that one

1 loli_esports 2019-08-15

cd code

1 UUUU__UUUU 2019-08-15

rm -fvR

1 HardIsLife 2019-08-15

sudo rm -rf UUUU__UUUU

1 UUUU__UUUU 2019-08-15

Kernel process interrupted. Insufficient privileges.

1 HardIsLife 2019-08-15

sudo su

1 600_lbs_of_sin 2019-08-15

writes front end code

thinks own opinions matter

1 HardIsLife 2019-08-15

thinks his opinion matters when his knowledge of frontend is still stuck in 2008.

💅🏼

1 600_lbs_of_sin 2019-08-15

i've forgotten literally everything I ever knew about CSS, except how much it sucks to write, read, or debug it

1 UUUU__UUUU 2019-08-15

If you haven't discovered the delights of CSS3, no one can help you. Try killing yourselves; let me know if you need help.

1 600_lbs_of_sin 2019-08-15

becoming an hero sounds way more fun than discovering whatever "delights" await me in that godforsaken mess of a language

1 lol_te_gusto 2019-08-15

Imagine not using Css grids

1 HardIsLife 2019-08-15

Imagine thinking frontend is just CSS 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

1 600_lbs_of_sin 2019-08-15

you can take my above comment and replace "CSS" with "JavaScript" or "HTML" and it'll still be just as true

1 HardIsLife 2019-08-15

JavaScript is (kinda) OO now. Get with the times, buddy!

Seriously though, it’s very powerful now because of new frameworks. Still messy, yes but that’s why clean modular code is important but most developers just do whatever as long as it works. A lot of heavy lifting is done by frontend now and anything that is not privacy sensitive can be handled by frontend. Supporting IE is still the biggest pain in the ass.

1 600_lbs_of_sin 2019-08-15

because of new frameworks

ah yes my favorite memory from before i went full backend (😏) was having to learn angular, then react, then vue, within like a year

also npm was sent by Satan to torment us for our sins

1 HardIsLife 2019-08-15

Please do not insult vue-sama and npm-sama 😑

1 600_lbs_of_sin 2019-08-15

🙄

1 BurgerLaowai 2019-08-15

Backend represent! ✊🏿

1 SlowFatHusky 2019-08-15

Explain what your function does and explain about the parameters you are passing!! This is not typescript! I don’t know what a and b are supposed to be!! Comment the type of your params!!

That's your first problem, using JavaScript like a pleb. Why do front end devs have such a problem with strong typed languages?

And for the love of Idris Elba, learn how to inherit classes to avoid coding the same concept over and over again resulting in redundant code written in 10 different ways to achieve the same damn thing!!

If JavaScript did classes decently, it wouldn't be bad. Even if they did it like TypeScript. Classes in JavaScript are as limited as writing your own inheritance in C without having near the power and being harder to write. At least the TypeScript compiler will do the conversion for me.

1 HardIsLife 2019-08-15

Imagine using Typescirpt but declaring everything as any anyway making it pointless 🤣

1 SlowFatHusky 2019-08-15

There is that retardation. But it seems consistent with every custom HTML control needing to be a DIV. Let's have a language where every object needs to be declared as Object.

1 lol_te_gusto 2019-08-15

Webshits gonna webshit.

Mixins are bad. Comments are crutches, inheritance is overused and problematic. Tabs are bad, axios is unmantained

1 Jidi_Isle 2019-08-15

42 comments on a post literally no one read 😴

1 BurgerLaowai 2019-08-15

Cope.

1 MacAndShits 2019-08-15

Learn 2 cope

1 BurgerLaowai 2019-08-15

#racist!

1 MacAndShits 2019-08-15

I have a black friend, checkmate

1 BurgerLaowai 2019-08-15

You’re a racist for noticing his race and only befriending him because of his race.

*or her

1 MacAndShits 2019-08-15

You're a bigot for implying there are only two genders.