So the other week a picture was posted on reddit showing a young man wearing tactical gear and branding an AR with a caption stating something like "Over compensating for a small penis" or something along those lines.

It's no secret that for a very large subset of men their size or lack thereof is a large portion of self esteem and body image issues. Yet men are then often told that "its not the size, but what you do with it that counts" or "PIV sex isn't what women want anyways, learn better oral skills". It would seem contradictory that a joke about a man "over compensating" for a small penis means he is lacking in that regard, but at the same time saying mens penis sizes don't matter anyways.

Men have a unique bond with their genitalia, for many it is a strong sense of identity for them. It is the thing they look at everyday that serves more than one purpose on the human body. In fact, it is the only part of his body nature designed for inducing pleasure in the opposite sex.

This form of joking about "over compensating" hurts men of all sizes. Those who do happen to be below average now are being told that since they are born this way that they must not do anything that brings attention to them for fear of mockery now aimed at it. It also brings forth men who may not be smaller than average to further question their "man-hood" if they exhibit traits or likes associated with this trope. For instance a guy who owns a lifted truck who is perfectly content with his penis and may very well be above average is now being told he must have a small penis for owning such a vehicle. At this time he is not only trying to defend his choice of that specific vehicle but now must defend the size of his penis.

This trope, as it were; is prevalent throughout all forms of media as a acceptable way to mock men, more specifically mock men they perceive as "less than" or not equal to "real men". Men who do suffer from having a smaller penis are often rejected by the opposite sex once their partner finds out (typically one night stands). So it becomes a very significant stress factor in their day to day lives when the hopes of having a romantic relationship with someone can sometimes hinge on how receptive the other person is concerning what is dangling between his legs.

Some men go to great lengths to hide this aspect of their body from a partner for significant amounts of time in hopes that hopefully in time when their partner does indeed find out that character more than "content" is favored upon. Yet these men typically are being labeled as sneaky or manipulative for not disclosing this to their partner before they became too involved. I'm sure most men have heard the stories from female friends about "that one time" and how they found a way to pump the breaks.

I bring this up because nearly all men have done it, we've cracked jokes about some guy being "small" as an insult to someone for whatever reason. We've mocked those guys with a lifted truck and although we might not have said it, many have thought "must have a small dick!". This is a behavior men use to put other men down and women use to put men down as well. It's the butt of many jokes and in the era of trying to reduce body shaming why do we continue to allow mockery of the most intimate portion of someone else's body?

Yet, I ask; how do we combat such jokes without putting the onus that it must be "us" who is lacking and that is why we are being offended by it? Granted, it would seem hypocritical of me to be worried about being labeled "small" if I'm trying to curtail this mindset that having a small penis is something to be ashamed of. Yet I do exist in this same society, I'm proud of my manhood and a portion of my identity is tied to it like many others. I feel many men do not stand up and object to these types of jokes for the same fear, we don't want to be assumed to have a small penis. Yet we have sympathy for men who do have to deal with the mockery because we know how it feels for us to have our size questioned.

In this day and age of porn most men and boys have a very skewed idea of what "average" is. Maybe the jokes stem more from men being self conscious about their own size in relation to media and use mockery to help themselves feel better. It seems this slippery slope could delve into many different causes, but the effect still seems to be the same; emasculating men for laughs.