Live review of House (1977)

1  2019-08-18 by HardIsLife

I’ve been hearing good things about this old Japanese horror movie.

It began with a Japanese girl 👧🏻 at school and everyone’s planning for their summer trip that was coming soon. Her dad was a rich director so he’s in Italy shooting something and they planned to go to somewhere in the summer together. All her friends were going to go camping with their male teacher. Sounds like hentai plot so far. There are some really cool shots. It’s bright and weird like Suspiria but at times, it’s really lame and outdated.

When she got home, her dad brought home a mayo woman and told her this woman was going to be her new mom. That pissed her off. This shot was really cool. They used window panes and zoomed in/out of them constantly. In this shot, it looks like the woman is keeping her and her dad apart. It’s like she divided the family.

https://i.imgur.com/E63tx4Q.jpg

At school, the male teacher revealed that his sister was giving birth (how does this happen so suddenly though? lol) and therefore, they wouldn’t be able to go camping. Aww no more hentai. The female lead invited all her friends to visit her aunt’s house. When she was writing a letter to check if it was ok to bring her friends along because she only met her aunt once and they weren’t close, a very cute cat 🐱 came by. Awwww it helped her check the mailbox

https://i.imgur.com/Qu8S0hv.jpg

The weirdest part about this movie is that it keeps changing tone and genre every other scene. It turns into comedy, horror and some summer camp teen movie all of a sudden lol and now it’s animated when they were going to the aunt’s house on a train. Wow. It’s all over the place.

https://i.imgur.com/QudzlRZ.jpg

The cat came on its own on the train too. The female lead was telling about her mom and her aunt to her friends and we entered into a flashback but somehow the friends could see this flashback too 🤔 they were making comments about people and things happening in the flashback. Interesting and the cat is in the back!!

https://i.imgur.com/Ljlde3L.jpg

Ok, so, the cat was literally everywhere. It was painted on the bus too! It’s definitely the aunt’s cat! The cat literary broke the camera with laser eyes 👀Umm so. I don’t even know how to explain this. So, the chandelier began to sparkle, one of the pointy long glass decor from it fell down making one of the girls named kung fu, to kick it mid air using Kung fu. It landed on a lizard and the cat was eating it 😂

https://i.imgur.com/Zmr8iTA.jpg

I just can’t 😅 one of the girls was fat and the aunt was making comments about how tasty and round she looked 😰 they were storing the watermelon they bought in the well because the fridge was broken. Her friend pulled up the watermelon but found her friend’s head. She dead

https://i.imgur.com/jD3hbsM.jpg

Umm she’s not dead and now she’s biting her friend’s ass. WTF???

https://i.imgur.com/cDQqFBX.jpg

The aunt definitely ate the fattie!! 🤮 ok, this shit is creepy!

https://i.imgur.com/ZiMMtJc.jpg

And the deaths get weirder and weirder

https://i.imgur.com/E01eLKZ.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/358WvkQ.jpg

No, the kitty is also evil!!

https://i.imgur.com/leK5P4h.jpg

I have no words. 5/5

6 comments

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This sounds like a movie produced in SE Asia. They have some really odd shit. There's a Chinese drama/comedy/porn movie, that I wish I remembered the title, involving the police, an actual cuck scene to get the wife pregnant where the married couple was crying and holding hands while she was getting plowed, a murder, and it ended with the wife getting executed in front of her husband and child when it was deemed the child no longer required the mother.

Wait, how is regurgitating the movie a "review"?

If you had seen this movie, you would realize there’s no words to review this movie. It’s from another dimension.