You: But you don't have to do that!

Me: I know, that's what makes me so nice!

Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I

And let's face it, who isn't less fortunate than I?

My tender heart tends to start to bleed

And when someone needs a makeover

I simply have to take over!

I know, I know exactly what they need!

And even in your case

Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face

Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed!

Follow my lead

And yes indeed, you will be

Popular!

You're gonna be popular!

I'll teach you the proper poise

When you talk to boys

Little ways to flirt and flounce

Ooh!

I'll show you what shoes to wear!

How to fix your hair!

Everything that really counts to be

Popular!

I'll help you be popular!

You'll hang with the right cohorts

You'll be good at sports

Know the slang you've got to know

So let's start

'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go!

Don't be offended by my frank analysis

Think of it as personality dialysis

Now that I've chosen to become a

Pal, a sister and advisor

Just shitpost lol.