Ran into a prominent DeuxRama celebrity today
1 2020-01-11 by Redactor0
So I was talking to this old lady from Southeast Asia and she just kind of brought up out of nowhere that sometimes white guys go over there and they marry beautiful women who come back here. There's a slight buzzing noise at that point, but I don't really think anything of it. Then she said that she knows a few couples like that where it really worked out well for them and they're having happy lives. In hindsight I think she was trying to recruit me into some kind of hapamaking scheme, but I was distracted because the sound got louder and even got to the point where I can feel the vibrations.
The door pops open and a tornado of dust and smoke fills the room, but I instantly recognize the voice: It's HardIsLife. She's screeching something about how asian women have to stick together. My friend is yelling "what you doing? get out here! you not belong here!" while fending her off with a broom. HIL is screaming something, increasingly loud, about how they're all sisters and need to fight against the patriarchy and exoticization together but that humming noise is now practically deafening.
At just the right moment, I threw myself over my friend when HIL's head exploded. My white burger fat layer absorbed most of the fragments of her skull. Thankfully everyone walked away from this pretty much unscathed except HardIsLife. I'll always miss you. š
12 comments
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1 SnapshillBot 2020-01-11
If you spent as much time trying to get pussy as you do showing off your double down syndrome on the internet you might still have a chance of becoming a man by the time you hit your forties.
Snapshots:
Ran into a prominent DeuxRama celeb... - archive.org, archive.today
the voice - archive.org, archive.today
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1 MasterLawlzFan 2020-01-11
Damn š„
1 HardIsLife 2020-01-11
Wow, this boomer is really losing his marbles.
This is what happened.
I was out trying to grab some calamari for a snack. As I went into this Asian store, I saw a white boomer with a small grocery bag talking to the nice Asian grandma who owns the store. I didnāt think much of it but I overheard him talking his time in WWII. Heās using his white privilege to hog the counter. He could have decided what he wanted to get beforehand like I normally do but of course, not. Have to ask what this is and what that is once heās at the counter and take his damn time holding up the line.
I rolled my eyes but I didnāt say anything but what I donāt get is that old people donāt have much time left but they act like they have all the time in the world. The asian grandma was trying to be nice but you could tell sheās not impressed by his war stories. I wondered to myself how old do mayo men have to get for them to stop trying to get into Asian womenās pants.
Heās still trying to impress her. Telling her how he would keep himself young by hanging out with younger people online and if she knew what Reddit was. I scoffed because this reminded me someone š I knew on here. He began complaining about how he felt harassed by an Asian girl online named HardIsLife because she kept calling out yellow fever and white fetish. He kept insisting itās just a preference and he had dated so much variety of asian women in the past. Mainly his maids.
At that point, I tapped on his shoulder and said, āRedactor0. Guess who I am, boomer?ā He was startled by this sudden introduction and he dropped his grocery bag revealing boxes of viagra. He was shocked and embarrassed while I laughed.
I promised that I wouldnāt bring this up on Reddit if he never bullied me again but I had my doubts because after talking to him for like 10 minutes, he spaced out and then, went back to the counter to talk with the asian grandma about his war times again.
Clear signs of Alzheimerās. So, I raised my voice. āSir! Sir! Show me your wrist.ā As I suspected, he was wearing a band with name, address and phone number. Look. I wonāt dox him or anything. I called the number and his relative came and picked him up. He thanked me and said that Redactor0 would start sundowning at this time of the day.
smh
1 LongPostBot 2020-01-11
I've known more coherent downies.
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3 LeEbinBost 2020-01-11
Almost as sentient as snappy
1 Redactor0 2020-01-11
Wow, I guess a few months months of combat on Leyte and then Luzon in The War doesn't make me qualified to chat up cute pinays anymore? We got along pretty well under the bleachers of Rizal Stadium after the tanks had gone in and machine-gunned all the Japs there. Those were the days...
[Was going to make a joke about this but it would become obvious that I actually watch maid porn.]
This is totally real except it would be me carrying frozen foods from the discount grocery because I'm so cheap that I'm basically an honorary asian.
I don't negotiate with terrorists.
Well... the important thing is that I will be right again tomorrow.
1 HardIsLife 2020-01-11
https://youtu.be/x0q-Z-F6M1c
1 Redactor0 2020-01-11
This is the funniest goddamn thing I've heard in years. You turned this around so fast it's almost like... are you actually a person who is naturally good at comedy?
2 colormebadorange 2020-01-11
Are you saying u/hardislife is a man?
1 HardIsLife 2020-01-11
š¤¦š»āāļø
You have also forgotten that Iām funny?
This is getting serious.
1 SlowFatHusky 2020-01-11
You should do more posts as ASMR on YouTube.