So this is not really a happy topic to discuss but I feel like I need to get it off my chest. My friend owns this great big house so she rents out one of the bedrooms. She called me one day and told me she needed my help with an "infestation". I didn't know what she was talking about, but whatever, if she needs my help I'll be right over. So I go there and as we're going up the stairs I start to notice it. There's garbage just strewn around everywhere. Empty coconut water bottles and empty cosmetics containers, mostly skin-whitening cream. We get to the bedroom and she knocks on the door, screaming "You no pay rent! You get out! You get out my house!"

The door opens, and at first I don't see anyone inside. There's about 50 anime action figures sitting on display and a bunch of posters of shirtless black guys who I guess must be gay porn stars on the walls. Other than that, the place is a total mess with half-empty cups of bubble tea all over the place. Then I notice someone, a small creature about 4'11" bouncing around at my feet. She had the facial characteristics of the Malay race, but her skin had been bleached to the point where it was almost pure white. This little elfen creature was none other than HardIsLife.

The argument got pretty heated. My friend kept demanding unpaid rent and utility bills and threatening to evict her. HIL kept saying stuff that was just crazy and didn't make any sense. She said rent is a tool of the patriarchy and the house was an asian women's collective so they should just share everything. It got pretty heated. HardIsLife isn't a big person but she's got boundless energy and she was hopping around so fast you could hardly keep her in sight. Eventually she darts back into her room and slams the door. I could hear her talking on her phone about "Idris Elba" and "BBC", I guess about some British TV show he's in.

Anyway, I was there again a couple weeks later when the cops came to evict her. She insisted on going out the hard way, in handcuffs, and it took two men to lift her 80lb frame and carry it outside. The whole time she was screaming that she's a "citizen of Asia" and that she demanded to be taken to the "Asian embassy". It was an intolerable situation to have her living there, waking up her roommate at 3am singing along to anime songs, but I worry about where she'll go now. It's a cold, dark world out there full of white worshippers.