Being from third world, and getting diagnosed as severe Asperger's, is not easy.

I was the center of rebuke, scorn, hatred, and treated as a doormat, always. The first person to show me my place was my father. I was barely five years. My mother soon joined him.

I was THE weirdo all my life. My mind would just freeze, literally come to grinding halt in social interactions. Words wouldn't come off my mouth. I just emitted non sense under pressure. My teen years, college, University years were miserable. Lonely, quiet, being bullied, always. My parents would want me to leave home while on vacations. I was just an embarassement for them. I could never learn how to sit, talk, be a part of company. I had an arranged marriage, which fell apart. My wife labelled me with every invective and I was a homosexual, druggie, junkie, impotent, psycho, abnormal, mental, freak according to her. My father supported her, as did my relatives, family, folks that I had spent a life with. Overnight, I was a social pariah, an outcast. Folks avoided me like plauge, forbade me from visiting them. My wife, and another relation, met all my work colleagues, acquaintances near and far, and spread the word. I could never tell any, it is not true, no, am not that way. None asked me Not even my mother I had two kids. They stayed with my wife. I battles two heart attacks, cardiac disability, and lived off grid all on my own. Now my kids are grown up. They never asked me, what did I do, or not do. They are now painting me with same brush. And I am quiet, as always. I never spoke, never uttered a word, to any, until today, and that too, anonymously. I wish I could kill my self, but, I know this too. I do not have much time. My ejection fraction is mere 20%, and I am told, that it is a matter of me nths before, I meet my creator. I shall cry, weep, and talk as I stand in front of God. Sorry for venting. Needed to get this off my chest.