Often, people ask me, "Spooky, how are you so goddamn woke? At 25, I'd expect someone like you to be smashing pussy and getting laid all the time, but instead you just read books all day."

To this, without looking up from Mein Kampf, I reply, "My son, between the ages of 14 and 17, I got my dick sucked enough times to satisfy 1,000 average men, maybe even more."

They come at me with the pitiful rebuttal of, "Then why do you have a tinder, incel?"

I hesitate, close my book, look them dead in the eye, and proclaim, "I use tinder solely to learn about the nature of the human condition; you can derive the ethos of a human being simply by reading the messages they send you on tinder."

Astonished, they ask, "Sp... Spoo... Spooky, I never get messaged on tinder... What do you mean by this?"

"Well, my son, all one must do to learn about the state of humanity as a whole in this current day and age is to write in their tinder bio this short, but holy, verse:

'No single moms.'

Then, my son, as your inbox fills with hate mail, you will finally begin to understand the current state of the human female, and evolve past the need for female sexual gratification from.such lowly beings. Do you understand, my son?"

"Y... Ye... Yes, Spooky, I will go edit my tinder bio immediately to say, 'No single moms', as every male who wants to level up should do."

And so it was done.