Taking advantage of less educated, less financially stable, less worldly women raised in a more restrictive third world culture looking for a way out is immoral. Not only that advertising this loophole to other men to also take advantage? I guess thatās how gang rapes exist. āBrah, Iām raping this passed out chick. You want to join in, bro?ā Just ugh. Itās like do you even see women as human beings?
Sweaty, read his profile. Dude is so overweight that heās listed as disabled. Who would want him? Thatās why heās going to a third world country to take advantage of less fortunate people.
Holy shit! Not JUST sexist and racist, but ableist too? God damn! Youāre like the unholy trifecta of concern trolling, western-centric assholery!
Iām not āso overweight.ā I was. Over two years ago. Then I lost over a hundred lbs through hard work, diet, and exercise. Iām still in the process of hitting my goal weight of 170lbs (for a guy who is 5ā11ā), but I got roughly 20 lbs to go. So āso overweightā is just a bunch of bullshit.
As for ādisabled,ā I have narcolepsy with cataplexy. Itās a sleep disorder, and does not in any way affect my physical appearance or really much about my interpersonal relationships. It DOES make me a MASSIVE workerās comp risk, and therefore the government doesnāt feel in employable, but yeah, very little affect on my ādate-abilityā unless all youāre interested in is my ability to earn dollar dollar bills.
But yeah, you thinking that everyone in Asia is āless fortunateā and that they canāt make intelligent decisions for themselves? Thatās whatās really disgusting here.
Thereās nothing wrong with you having a disability. You claimed that you were overweight and disabled with low income and you werenāt having much luck dating wherever you live. Your words, not mine.
Educate yourself on the negative effects of sex tourism first before pointing fingers at me.
Stop using western centric like a babbling idiot. Iām not from the west. I donāt think everyone in Asia is less fortunate but Iāve been keeping tabs on this for years and years now and I know the all sorts of disturbing exploitation of women and children that goes in certain Asian countries. Philippines is the forefront of it.
I would think being a narcoleptic would make you more dateable. You pass out and all her cousins rifle your pockets. You wake up and she tried her best to protect you but those street savages were just too strong right?
Hahaha. Wow. This right here is EXACTLY what is wrong with western Social Justice. The Philippines is NOT a third world country. Three of the four women I met at MUCH more highly educated than I am and make more than I ever did. And ALL of them have traveled FAR more broadly than I have.
You assuming that Asia is some how so dramatically inferior to the west and that the women in Asia are somehow all helpless does waiting to be victimized by the mean olā white man is REALLY telling as to how you actually feel about women and non-westerners.
Youāre the disgusting one. Your views are archaic, sexist, and horribly Western-centric
Either youāre lying or you have a very poor view of your country/women from your country (which I guess would include you).
Either way, I promise you this whitey isnāt here to take your land or rape your women. Just want to settle down somewhere quiet and MAYBE find a nice woman to spend the rest of my life with. Thankfully none of the women Iāve met have been like you.
Can you stop assuming who I am with identity politics and putting me in a box?
I donāt have poor views of Asians. Iām just outwardly spoken about the exploitation of women and children who do not have the means to live freely and with rights.
If I was born poor and without education, I would have consented to a lot of things that I would never consent to now as an educated independent woman. What I want is to give them a chance to reach to that point. I donāt like seeing them taken advantage of.
Do you honestly deep down in your heart think itās moral to pursue someone who just hasnāt had the opportunities and rights that youāve always have? Therefore, you would always have this intellectual advantage over them and have them depend on you?
Do you honestly think if these women were raised with full rights and decent education like women in the west, they would still pick you? Because letās be honest here. We all know what demographic youāre going after.
Do you think the educated well off independent good looking women in the Philippines would choose you?
Do you think educated well off independent good looking women in the Philippines would choose you?
Honestly, no, I didnāt. But they did! And it was pretty rad! Again, every woman I spent any face to face time with was educated (three of them more so than me), well traveled (all more so than me), roughly my own age (I was 36 on that trip, they were 29, 32, 35, and 40), financially independent and working good jobs, etc.
I was pleasantly surprised. I wasnāt expecting to meet anyone. I assumed that anyone I did match with would just be someone where the relationship would be extremely unequal, and I wasnāt looking for that. Instead I met many wonderful woman. It was nice.
I'd say "how many novelty meta accounts do we need?" But if you can keep this one up too more power to ya. Lord knows she needs something to soften her cringeposts.
You're not even trying to be witty or anything, you're just circlejerking. How does it feel literally karma whoring, like, actually just being a human who cares enough to type multiple comments for no purpose except to draw a nearby majority's attention to the fact that you agree with them?
Well, you assumed a LOT about me, so forgive me if I assumed an equal amount about you.
Simply put, Iām not here for āsex tourismā or even to find a partner. Iām moving here cause I have massive family network over here thanks to my amazing step-mom and her family.
I only even opened Tinder over here because I was curious what it would be like, having obviously heard stories from various people. I never initiated and made sure I wasnāt getting involved with any woman where there as an obvious, serious power dynamic in play. Especially because I was leaving for a couple months before coming back permanently and I didnāt think that was very fair to anyone.
As for actual sex, I did have sex with one of the women I met. Out of the four. I didnāt see any of them with the expectation of getting sex and was much more interested in having someone fun to explore the Islands I was on with than anything else. I also was 100% open with all of them about the fact I had plans to see other women while I was there, and that Iād be leaving for a few months before coming back. All of them were perfectly okay with that and Iāve kept in touch with all of them. Hope to see them again soon, see where things go.
But yeah. You got me all wrong and you got what I was saying all wrong. And, honestly, youāre selling the Philippines and Filipino women in general short as well. The Philippines is a fantastic country full of fantastic people who deserve better than the disparaging world view you have of them.
I was addressing g the demographic that would pick people like you.
The ādemographicā was āwomen between the ages of 26 and 46 (10 years my junior to 10 years my senior). All of the women I ended up spending any time with were educated, intelligent, hard working, financially independent women. I specifically took the time to make sure I wasnāt matching where there would be a massive power dynamic between us. I made sure I wasnāt matching dramatically outside my age range.
And again, I made first contact exactly zero times. I did nothing more than swipe left or right and then respond to the people who seemed genuinely interested in me.
And the āyou think lowly of Asian womenā is a derailment and pointing fingers. This aināt my first rodeo.
Youāre the one who are going after these women because they are easy for you.
And you mentioned nothing about long term relationships in your previous comments. All you talked about in that thread is sex.
Normal people donāt hit up tinder on their family vocation.
And the āyou think Asian women are not capable of Xā argument
We are only capable of thinking and making decisions when we have sufficient knowledge. Women born and raised in conservative backgrounds are kept ignorant on purpose. So, when I say they are being taken advantage of, Iām not belittling them. Iām standing up for them.
People who have tasted sugar donāt know how sweet it is. Women who havenāt given full rights donāt know how free they could be.
No matter how you view it. If you view this ethically, youāre taking advantage of a developing country where young women are finding the moves and their sexuality but due to the limitation of rights and proper education, not to mention poor economy, they are often exploited by men from the west who know more, have more rights and have access to more facilities.
The fact that you need to travel to a developing country to get laid means you arenāt magically more attractive on the other side of the world. Youāre just exploiting a loophole.
Oh and by the way, do you know that mixed kids left behind by sex tourists grew up into prostitution. A lot of child sex rings there too.
Itās all consensual sex, yes but they are a catholic country. A lot of women keep the baby when they get pregnant. Consent is not the end of a story. There are consequences. Hope you used protection.
Absolutely. Both condoms, which I bought, and a vasectomy I had 5 years ago. Would never want to do that to someone. Especially in a country like the Philippines where abortion is illegal.
As a white guy who has pretty extensive ties with the Philippines and has gotten all the "you must just be a sexpat" bullshit, I gotta tell you something: It's a country, not a goddamn fucking buffet. If you go there and get on tinder and find trash women to hook up with, you're just another fat white loser. With the attitude you have, you're not gonna get a wife, you're gonna get some psycho foid who marries you and murders you for your inheritence.
Really crazy unpopular advice: Maybe find a woman you love and then build your life around her rather than going shopping for one.
Oh and by the way, do you know that mixed kids left behind by sex tourists grew up into prostitution. A lot of child sex rings there too.
Itās all consensual sex, yes but they are a catholic country. A lot of women keep the baby when they get pregnant. Consent is not the end of a story. There are consequences. Hope you used protection.
And since I never treated it as a buffet, I appreciate your advice but absolutely donāt need it. Read what I wrote carefully, youāll see I responded very carefully, only talking to people I might have a real connection with. I didnāt go to the Philippines with any expectations, especially not the expectation of getting laid. I slept with one person while I was there, and that was after 4 days of getting to know them and was at their initiation. The other women I did not sleep with or attempt to sleep with because , like you said, not buffet.
Even my initial post in the other subreddit is in no way about sex. Itās about how, as a whiteish guy in an Asian country you will have MATCHES like a white girl in a western country. Thatās it. What you do with those matches, thatās on you.
So yeah. I think I lot of people are just reading what they want to read here. Which is a shame, but if well.
Honestly? Nope. Doesnāt bother me one bit. Maybe it has something to do with feeling unloved and unwanted (physically or otherwise) more or less my whole life, even while in a relationship. Maybe it has something to do with my poor self esteem and my feelings of worthlessness and undesirability because of my disability. Maybe itās just the novelty factor and itāll wear off and Iāll eventually come to hate it.
But no. For now it feels great.
More than that, all of the women Iāve spent time with over here are real, fully three dimensional people who treat me like a real, three dimensional person. Only one of them was overly eager to hop into bed, and when I explained I wanted to get to know her first, she respected my boundaries without complaint or question until I felt comfortable getting physical.
So maybe I just got lucky in that regard, but yeah, I havenāt felt like Iāve experienced too much objectification and fetishization and what little I have experienced doesnāt bother me at all, if anything, the opposite.
Iām sorry for being so mean to you. Iām moody due to my PMS. Terrible excuse but yeah. I still stand by most of the points I made that were not personal attacks towards you. I still think itās not ethical.
I understand where you are coming from. Itās a huge temptation and itās easier for me to say as a woman who hasnāt been single for a long time. I also had quite a few very good looking men approached me in the past and they were out of my league. I rejected them solely based on the fact that they were really into me for being Asian.
The more I see colorism, self hate, racism, etc, I reject this idea even more because I think itās perpetuated by people who help keep the system in motion. White people on the top and dark skinned people at the bottom.
Like ever since I was young, I was praised for being light skinned in my Asian community. Those āwow, youāre so pretty because your skin is so light. Every color looks good on you.ā I did like hearing compliments. I did like being desired. Iām sure what youāre experiencing is what I experienced back then.
But itās wrong. Itās wrong to judge people by the color of their skin. Itās wrong for people to either like or dislike just based on my āAsianess.ā
I hope you enjoy the ride because itās new for you but one day you would feel bad just like I do now. When the time comes, I hope you do the right thing. I also hope you value yourself as an individual and find someone who loves you for who you are because itās very different from being loved for your race.
And Iām sorry for being so reactionary and mean to you. I think itās a natural reaction on the internet to assume the worst of people and my original post was very flippant and I can easily see how you could read ill-intent into it.
So no hard feelings on my end.
And I hear you on a lot of the points you made. I didnāt give one thought to the human trafficking side of things, and youāve made me a lot more conscious of that. I lived in a country where itās not as big of an issue as it is in Asia, so itās just not something you think much about, you know? So I appreciate that. Always good to have someone with more life experience in an important area like that to help you understand things better.
As for my future, Iām doing my best to stay grounded. I do want someone who will love me for the long term. I just turned 37, Iām not getting any younger, and Iām not going to become a millionaire tomorrow, so finding someone who cares about me for me and not for superficial characteristics is super important to me.
But it is nice to be able to get that foot in the door, if you know what I mean. I know I have a lot of short comings, Iām working hard on the ones I can change (like my weight), but it was really demoralizing to be more or less invisible in the USA. At least here people give me a chance. And that not only means I might find that special someone, but it means I get to feel like a real flesh and blood person, which, not going to lie, is REALLY nice.
Iām not here in the Philippines for sex. Iām not even here for a relationship. Iām here to start a new life in a beautiful country filled with some of the most genuinely friendly people Iāve ever met. Thatās what made me want to move here. If I can find someone to spend the rest of my life with, thatād be amazing. But step 1 is living he best life I can live here in my new home. And part of that is being culturally and socially aware of the differences between here and the home I used to know. Itās an ongoing, daily process, but itās one that will make me a happier, better person, so itās worth it.
54 comments
1 AutoModerator 2020-02-25
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3 Meowsommar 2020-02-25
/u/DragonDai š¤¢š¤®
Taking advantage of less educated, less financially stable, less worldly women raised in a more restrictive third world culture looking for a way out is immoral. Not only that advertising this loophole to other men to also take advantage? I guess thatās how gang rapes exist. āBrah, Iām raping this passed out chick. You want to join in, bro?ā Just ugh. Itās like do you even see women as human beings?
4 8thSymphony 2020-02-25
š·
4 MacAndShits 2020-02-25
Nah, that'd be delusional
1 Meowsommar 2020-02-25
Normally, I donāt care for edgy comments but thereās a time and a place.
You can be sure people like him participate in some child abuse too like in the documentary
2 MacAndShits 2020-02-25
I'd be inclined to agree, but I'm a law-abiding deuxcel and there's a lot to unpack here
1 -ColonelMortimer- 2020-02-25
Reddit didn't give me more redditbux for Christmas
3 MacAndShits 2020-02-25
You'd have more money to spend on reddit if you didn't spend all your money on reddit
2 -ColonelMortimer- 2020-02-25
I didnt spend my money on any redditbux, you sometimes get them during Christmas or new year.
Or did u not get any?
1 MacAndShits 2020-02-25
I didn't get any GBP sadly
4 tractorsandranch 2020-02-25
Once again she's coping that based whitey doesnt want her hahahahaha
1 Meowsommar 2020-02-25
Sweaty, read his profile. Dude is so overweight that heās listed as disabled. Who would want him? Thatās why heās going to a third world country to take advantage of less fortunate people.
1 DrunkenRecidivist 2020-02-25
You're just mad because he swiped left on you
1 DragonDai 2020-02-25
Holy shit! Not JUST sexist and racist, but ableist too? God damn! Youāre like the unholy trifecta of concern trolling, western-centric assholery!
Iām not āso overweight.ā I was. Over two years ago. Then I lost over a hundred lbs through hard work, diet, and exercise. Iām still in the process of hitting my goal weight of 170lbs (for a guy who is 5ā11ā), but I got roughly 20 lbs to go. So āso overweightā is just a bunch of bullshit.
As for ādisabled,ā I have narcolepsy with cataplexy. Itās a sleep disorder, and does not in any way affect my physical appearance or really much about my interpersonal relationships. It DOES make me a MASSIVE workerās comp risk, and therefore the government doesnāt feel in employable, but yeah, very little affect on my ādate-abilityā unless all youāre interested in is my ability to earn dollar dollar bills.
But yeah, you thinking that everyone in Asia is āless fortunateā and that they canāt make intelligent decisions for themselves? Thatās whatās really disgusting here.
1 Meowsommar 2020-02-25
Thereās nothing wrong with you having a disability. You claimed that you were overweight and disabled with low income and you werenāt having much luck dating wherever you live. Your words, not mine.
Educate yourself on the negative effects of sex tourism first before pointing fingers at me.
Stop using western centric like a babbling idiot. Iām not from the west. I donāt think everyone in Asia is less fortunate but Iāve been keeping tabs on this for years and years now and I know the all sorts of disturbing exploitation of women and children that goes in certain Asian countries. Philippines is the forefront of it.
1 DrunkenRecidivist 2020-02-25
I would think being a narcoleptic would make you more dateable. You pass out and all her cousins rifle your pockets. You wake up and she tried her best to protect you but those street savages were just too strong right?
1 FroppyHoppyMyFloppy 2020-02-25
Holy fucking seethe lmao
1 DragonDai 2020-02-25
Hahaha. Wow. This right here is EXACTLY what is wrong with western Social Justice. The Philippines is NOT a third world country. Three of the four women I met at MUCH more highly educated than I am and make more than I ever did. And ALL of them have traveled FAR more broadly than I have.
You assuming that Asia is some how so dramatically inferior to the west and that the women in Asia are somehow all helpless does waiting to be victimized by the mean olā white man is REALLY telling as to how you actually feel about women and non-westerners.
Youāre the disgusting one. Your views are archaic, sexist, and horribly Western-centric
1 Meowsommar 2020-02-25
A few things
1 DragonDai 2020-02-25
Either youāre lying or you have a very poor view of your country/women from your country (which I guess would include you).
Either way, I promise you this whitey isnāt here to take your land or rape your women. Just want to settle down somewhere quiet and MAYBE find a nice woman to spend the rest of my life with. Thankfully none of the women Iāve met have been like you.
1 Meowsommar 2020-02-25
Iām not from the Philippines.
Can you stop assuming who I am with identity politics and putting me in a box?
I donāt have poor views of Asians. Iām just outwardly spoken about the exploitation of women and children who do not have the means to live freely and with rights.
If I was born poor and without education, I would have consented to a lot of things that I would never consent to now as an educated independent woman. What I want is to give them a chance to reach to that point. I donāt like seeing them taken advantage of.
Do you honestly deep down in your heart think itās moral to pursue someone who just hasnāt had the opportunities and rights that youāve always have? Therefore, you would always have this intellectual advantage over them and have them depend on you?
Do you honestly think if these women were raised with full rights and decent education like women in the west, they would still pick you? Because letās be honest here. We all know what demographic youāre going after.
Do you think the educated well off independent good looking women in the Philippines would choose you?
Thereās just too much power imbalance.
1 YungMoneyLaundering 2020-02-25
The problem is that asians have too poor views of themselves.
1 DeuxGirl 2020-02-25
Finish him off HIL.
1 DragonDai 2020-02-25
Honestly, no, I didnāt. But they did! And it was pretty rad! Again, every woman I spent any face to face time with was educated (three of them more so than me), well traveled (all more so than me), roughly my own age (I was 36 on that trip, they were 29, 32, 35, and 40), financially independent and working good jobs, etc.
I was pleasantly surprised. I wasnāt expecting to meet anyone. I assumed that anyone I did match with would just be someone where the relationship would be extremely unequal, and I wasnāt looking for that. Instead I met many wonderful woman. It was nice.
1 Brahmasexual 2020-02-25
Fascinating how much thought youāve put into the plight of Asian foids. Do you pursue sex traffickers for a living, or are you just childless?
1 -ColonelMortimer- 2020-02-25
If you want him to stop putting you in a box, how about you stop trying to frame random dudes as abusers, perverts or rapists?
Seriously. You're in the wrong here.
Why do you assume noone would want him? What kind of disgusting attitude is this? Go fuck yourself you stupid slut.
1 DeuxGirl 2020-02-25
1 -ColonelMortimer- 2020-02-25
You're as Asian as grilled cheese, larper.
1 DeuxGirl 2020-02-25
You tell him HIL.
1 DrunkenRecidivist 2020-02-25
I'd say "how many novelty meta accounts do we need?" But if you can keep this one up too more power to ya. Lord knows she needs something to soften her cringeposts.
1 SnapshillBot 2020-02-25
You're not even trying to be witty or anything, you're just circlejerking. How does it feel literally karma whoring, like, actually just being a human who cares enough to type multiple comments for no purpose except to draw a nearby majority's attention to the fact that you agree with them?
Snapshots:
I am just a simple bot, *not** a moderator of this subreddit* | bot subreddit | contact the maintainers
1 [deleted] 2020-02-25
[deleted]
1 SaltOverPlow 2020-02-25
post your butthole
1 YungMoneyLaundering 2020-02-25
And it completely works because asian foids have absolutely no self respect
1 DragonDai 2020-02-25
Well, you assumed a LOT about me, so forgive me if I assumed an equal amount about you.
Simply put, Iām not here for āsex tourismā or even to find a partner. Iām moving here cause I have massive family network over here thanks to my amazing step-mom and her family.
I only even opened Tinder over here because I was curious what it would be like, having obviously heard stories from various people. I never initiated and made sure I wasnāt getting involved with any woman where there as an obvious, serious power dynamic in play. Especially because I was leaving for a couple months before coming back permanently and I didnāt think that was very fair to anyone.
As for actual sex, I did have sex with one of the women I met. Out of the four. I didnāt see any of them with the expectation of getting sex and was much more interested in having someone fun to explore the Islands I was on with than anything else. I also was 100% open with all of them about the fact I had plans to see other women while I was there, and that Iād be leaving for a few months before coming back. All of them were perfectly okay with that and Iāve kept in touch with all of them. Hope to see them again soon, see where things go.
But yeah. You got me all wrong and you got what I was saying all wrong. And, honestly, youāre selling the Philippines and Filipino women in general short as well. The Philippines is a fantastic country full of fantastic people who deserve better than the disparaging world view you have of them.
1 LongPostBot 2020-02-25
still unemployed then?
I am a bot. Contact for questions
1 DragonDai 2020-02-25
This is my new favorite bot
1 Meowsommar 2020-02-25
To clarify.
I donāt think all Philippino women are X or Y. I know plenty who are way more educated and successful than I could ever be.
I was addressing the demographic that would pick people like you.
1 DragonDai 2020-02-25
The ādemographicā was āwomen between the ages of 26 and 46 (10 years my junior to 10 years my senior). All of the women I ended up spending any time with were educated, intelligent, hard working, financially independent women. I specifically took the time to make sure I wasnāt matching where there would be a massive power dynamic between us. I made sure I wasnāt matching dramatically outside my age range.
And again, I made first contact exactly zero times. I did nothing more than swipe left or right and then respond to the people who seemed genuinely interested in me.
1 Meowsommar 2020-02-25
And the āyou think lowly of Asian womenā is a derailment and pointing fingers. This aināt my first rodeo.
And the āyou think Asian women are not capable of Xā argument
We are only capable of thinking and making decisions when we have sufficient knowledge. Women born and raised in conservative backgrounds are kept ignorant on purpose. So, when I say they are being taken advantage of, Iām not belittling them. Iām standing up for them.
People who have tasted sugar donāt know how sweet it is. Women who havenāt given full rights donāt know how free they could be.
No matter how you view it. If you view this ethically, youāre taking advantage of a developing country where young women are finding the moves and their sexuality but due to the limitation of rights and proper education, not to mention poor economy, they are often exploited by men from the west who know more, have more rights and have access to more facilities.
The fact that you need to travel to a developing country to get laid means you arenāt magically more attractive on the other side of the world. Youāre just exploiting a loophole.
1 Meowsommar 2020-02-25
Oh and by the way, do you know that mixed kids left behind by sex tourists grew up into prostitution. A lot of child sex rings there too.
Itās all consensual sex, yes but they are a catholic country. A lot of women keep the baby when they get pregnant. Consent is not the end of a story. There are consequences. Hope you used protection.
1 DragonDai 2020-02-25
Absolutely. Both condoms, which I bought, and a vasectomy I had 5 years ago. Would never want to do that to someone. Especially in a country like the Philippines where abortion is illegal.
1 Redactor0 2020-02-25
As a white guy who has pretty extensive ties with the Philippines and has gotten all the "you must just be a sexpat" bullshit, I gotta tell you something: It's a country, not a goddamn fucking buffet. If you go there and get on tinder and find trash women to hook up with, you're just another fat white loser. With the attitude you have, you're not gonna get a wife, you're gonna get some psycho foid who marries you and murders you for your inheritence.
Really crazy unpopular advice: Maybe find a woman you love and then build your life around her rather than going shopping for one.
1 Meowsommar 2020-02-25
Oh and by the way, do you know that mixed kids left behind by sex tourists grew up into prostitution. A lot of child sex rings there too.
Itās all consensual sex, yes but they are a catholic country. A lot of women keep the baby when they get pregnant. Consent is not the end of a story. There are consequences. Hope you used protection.
1 DragonDai 2020-02-25
And since I never treated it as a buffet, I appreciate your advice but absolutely donāt need it. Read what I wrote carefully, youāll see I responded very carefully, only talking to people I might have a real connection with. I didnāt go to the Philippines with any expectations, especially not the expectation of getting laid. I slept with one person while I was there, and that was after 4 days of getting to know them and was at their initiation. The other women I did not sleep with or attempt to sleep with because , like you said, not buffet.
Even my initial post in the other subreddit is in no way about sex. Itās about how, as a whiteish guy in an Asian country you will have MATCHES like a white girl in a western country. Thatās it. What you do with those matches, thatās on you.
So yeah. I think I lot of people are just reading what they want to read here. Which is a shame, but if well.
1 Meowsommar 2020-02-25
Doesnāt that bother you? Itās racial fetishization. You realize they donāt like or see you as an individual, right?
1 DragonDai 2020-02-25
Honestly? Nope. Doesnāt bother me one bit. Maybe it has something to do with feeling unloved and unwanted (physically or otherwise) more or less my whole life, even while in a relationship. Maybe it has something to do with my poor self esteem and my feelings of worthlessness and undesirability because of my disability. Maybe itās just the novelty factor and itāll wear off and Iāll eventually come to hate it.
But no. For now it feels great.
More than that, all of the women Iāve spent time with over here are real, fully three dimensional people who treat me like a real, three dimensional person. Only one of them was overly eager to hop into bed, and when I explained I wanted to get to know her first, she respected my boundaries without complaint or question until I felt comfortable getting physical.
So maybe I just got lucky in that regard, but yeah, I havenāt felt like Iāve experienced too much objectification and fetishization and what little I have experienced doesnāt bother me at all, if anything, the opposite.
1 Meowsommar 2020-02-25
Iām sorry for being so mean to you. Iām moody due to my PMS. Terrible excuse but yeah. I still stand by most of the points I made that were not personal attacks towards you. I still think itās not ethical.
I understand where you are coming from. Itās a huge temptation and itās easier for me to say as a woman who hasnāt been single for a long time. I also had quite a few very good looking men approached me in the past and they were out of my league. I rejected them solely based on the fact that they were really into me for being Asian.
The more I see colorism, self hate, racism, etc, I reject this idea even more because I think itās perpetuated by people who help keep the system in motion. White people on the top and dark skinned people at the bottom.
Like ever since I was young, I was praised for being light skinned in my Asian community. Those āwow, youāre so pretty because your skin is so light. Every color looks good on you.ā I did like hearing compliments. I did like being desired. Iām sure what youāre experiencing is what I experienced back then.
But itās wrong. Itās wrong to judge people by the color of their skin. Itās wrong for people to either like or dislike just based on my āAsianess.ā
I hope you enjoy the ride because itās new for you but one day you would feel bad just like I do now. When the time comes, I hope you do the right thing. I also hope you value yourself as an individual and find someone who loves you for who you are because itās very different from being loved for your race.
2 LongPostBot 2020-02-25
I've known more coherent downies.
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1 Meowsommar 2020-02-25
Ouch š
1 DragonDai 2020-02-25
The boy is brutal...love it! š
1 DragonDai 2020-02-25
And Iām sorry for being so reactionary and mean to you. I think itās a natural reaction on the internet to assume the worst of people and my original post was very flippant and I can easily see how you could read ill-intent into it.
So no hard feelings on my end.
And I hear you on a lot of the points you made. I didnāt give one thought to the human trafficking side of things, and youāve made me a lot more conscious of that. I lived in a country where itās not as big of an issue as it is in Asia, so itās just not something you think much about, you know? So I appreciate that. Always good to have someone with more life experience in an important area like that to help you understand things better.
As for my future, Iām doing my best to stay grounded. I do want someone who will love me for the long term. I just turned 37, Iām not getting any younger, and Iām not going to become a millionaire tomorrow, so finding someone who cares about me for me and not for superficial characteristics is super important to me.
But it is nice to be able to get that foot in the door, if you know what I mean. I know I have a lot of short comings, Iām working hard on the ones I can change (like my weight), but it was really demoralizing to be more or less invisible in the USA. At least here people give me a chance. And that not only means I might find that special someone, but it means I get to feel like a real flesh and blood person, which, not going to lie, is REALLY nice.
Iām not here in the Philippines for sex. Iām not even here for a relationship. Iām here to start a new life in a beautiful country filled with some of the most genuinely friendly people Iāve ever met. Thatās what made me want to move here. If I can find someone to spend the rest of my life with, thatād be amazing. But step 1 is living he best life I can live here in my new home. And part of that is being culturally and socially aware of the differences between here and the home I used to know. Itās an ongoing, daily process, but itās one that will make me a happier, better person, so itās worth it.
2 LongPostBot 2020-02-25
This is one of the worst post I have EVER seen. Delete it.
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