A true king can know that if it takes a man 8 minutes to respond to your 30 second comeback he’s the one losing the chess tournament.
We are all fucking right and wrong in our own ways but nothing changes that heaven and hell is this planetary existence being a human with invisible messages from the sky sending your phone a notification.
As for time stamps, just look at comment times and history. As I said I know I’m ballsy, but I don’t take shit from no one
Naw nigga. Take that shit back to manhattan motorcars and have them 3d print out r/Deux 3/17/2020 and put that shit on the back and take a picture or it didn't happen. That ain't even your car. I want your lady draped over it wearing something green.
You’re walking down the street and some blonde chick walks past you. You give her a glance as she goes by.
‘Not bad,’ you think to yourself, ‘make ups a little much but...’
Your gay ass internal monologue is cut off as you draw level with her and see the cross section of her body. Her ass is so fat (in a good way though) that it probably has its own gravitational pull. And the jiggle. My god the jiggle. You didn’t notice before because you’re a faggot and were looking at her face to see if she was attractive instead of checking for an errant cameltoe like a real man does, but you see she’s wearing yoga pants. Your cock stiffens.
It’s not until she walks a block away and you lose sight of her in the roving packs of Cracker Jack white bois and muslims that you realise your cock is pitching a tent so big the campgrounds running out of space.
You know where I’m going with this you run to a public toilet and jerk off cause you’re scared people are gonna see your hard dick in your tracksuit pants or whatever idk I’m pretty fucking hammered man. Either way, this never happen to you?
No, honestly from the time I hit puberty I was always dating so I straight up just picked up the phone and fucked my wife on her boss’s desk (if you really want to know the kinks I had).
I’ve fucked in public but jerking off isn’t something I’m going to go out of my way to do when I know I can just be the stud I am and have way better if I wait.
That’s the point of being a man bro, you gotta know that some things are best left undone until the time is right. Making love is the same. Don’t rush it and don’t try to “start strong”. Be sensitive to all emotions including yours, enjoy the hunt, enjoy the satisfaction of the moment she reveals she wore panties that have a hole for your cock, for you.
Why are you giving me advice about slamming box dude. I know how to crush puss. I rip through trim like a wildfire in an Australian forest. Alright buddy? Tell ya what, why don’t ya just crawl back to your Slavic šliucha wife and crust her tired poon instead of interrupting my incredibly cool and fun binge drinking with your gay comments. Faggot. You know what dude? Your whole thing is like “oh I’m this cool pussy getting guy who fucks bitches and busts nuts and is cool” but you know what? You’re a low t ass bitch dude. If you’ve never cranked your semi hard cock in a public toilet that reeks of piss and has swastikas and racial slurs drawn in the wall, you are a low t no sex drive Havin ass soyboy. Bitch
I’m knocking out for the night render completed thankfully earlier than expected, don’t drink too much bro we need you here for Wuhan 2: Electric Bugaloo
Brew if for queers and lesbians who think that drinking beer I makes them alternative. Having a black bulb on the end of your nose from crushing whiskey every night for three decades is where it’s at
If that’s where you are bro here’s to Stonks on Wall Street paying for regenerative treatments and a potential Gene therapy future where we can just buy new organs and live much longer.
Not really a whisky guy as I figure if I’m drinking hard better be vodka neat so I can see Satan directly in his eyes
Nah bro I want my alcohol to burn my throat and make my face so hot you could fry an egg on it. Going beet root red from a bottle of whiskey and still somehow managing to trick an Austrian backpacker into having sex with you in a tent is one of the purest most sickest experiences you can ever have, give it a shot sometime
Also, I’ve had enough drunken escapades for one lifetime but hey dude, I totally get the vibe. Life is too short to spend being underpaid for your boss to live the life you deserve🙏🏼
What is this post? You posted a picture of a car. I don’t know what kind of car this is, I don’t know who you are, I don’t understand the title. What does any of this have to do with this subreddit? I get shitposts, but honestly this feels like it was made by an autistic worm of a human being. Please go outside, you pathetic nigger
38 comments
1 AutoModerator 2020-03-16
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1 SnapshillBot 2020-03-16
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1 CasanovaNova 2020-03-16
Faggot refers to the type of asshole who rides a Harley and thinks we care that he is having a mid life crisis.
1 DrunkenRecidivist 2020-03-16
not really a king move bro
1 CasanovaNova 2020-03-16
Stop this king move shit.
A true king can know that if it takes a man 8 minutes to respond to your 30 second comeback he’s the one losing the chess tournament.
We are all fucking right and wrong in our own ways but nothing changes that heaven and hell is this planetary existence being a human with invisible messages from the sky sending your phone a notification.
As for time stamps, just look at comment times and history. As I said I know I’m ballsy, but I don’t take shit from no one
1 DrunkenRecidivist 2020-03-16
Naw nigga. Take that shit back to manhattan motorcars and have them 3d print out r/Deux 3/17/2020 and put that shit on the back and take a picture or it didn't happen. That ain't even your car. I want your lady draped over it wearing something green.
1 CasanovaNova 2020-03-16
Lmfao 10 / 10
1 ElevatorMADNESS 2020-03-16
Wow
1 ThouShaltHearLight 2020-03-16
Fight within your weight class uggers
1 Jac1nto 2020-03-16
New pasta
1 throwawayaccount_34 2020-03-16
Hey buddy, next time you should probably blur the plates. Pretty easy dox otherwise
1 betterthenyoulol 2020-03-16
You ever beat your dick in a public bathroom?
1 CasanovaNova 2020-03-16
I don’t beat my dick I have a woman who loves fucking me.
1 betterthenyoulol 2020-03-16
Yeah but what if she’s not around. Don’t be gay dude
1 CasanovaNova 2020-03-16
Dude I can wait wtf not every guy is into fucking 24/7 when /r/wallstreetbets tendies are to be made
Besides every night we come home and fuck when most of these guys here can’t ever imagine that lifestyle.
1 betterthenyoulol 2020-03-16
You’re walking down the street and some blonde chick walks past you. You give her a glance as she goes by. ‘Not bad,’ you think to yourself, ‘make ups a little much but...’
Your gay ass internal monologue is cut off as you draw level with her and see the cross section of her body. Her ass is so fat (in a good way though) that it probably has its own gravitational pull. And the jiggle. My god the jiggle. You didn’t notice before because you’re a faggot and were looking at her face to see if she was attractive instead of checking for an errant cameltoe like a real man does, but you see she’s wearing yoga pants. Your cock stiffens.
It’s not until she walks a block away and you lose sight of her in the roving packs of Cracker Jack white bois and muslims that you realise your cock is pitching a tent so big the campgrounds running out of space.
You know where I’m going with this you run to a public toilet and jerk off cause you’re scared people are gonna see your hard dick in your tracksuit pants or whatever idk I’m pretty fucking hammered man. Either way, this never happen to you?
1 CasanovaNova 2020-03-16
No, honestly from the time I hit puberty I was always dating so I straight up just picked up the phone and fucked my wife on her boss’s desk (if you really want to know the kinks I had).
I’ve fucked in public but jerking off isn’t something I’m going to go out of my way to do when I know I can just be the stud I am and have way better if I wait.
That’s the point of being a man bro, you gotta know that some things are best left undone until the time is right. Making love is the same. Don’t rush it and don’t try to “start strong”. Be sensitive to all emotions including yours, enjoy the hunt, enjoy the satisfaction of the moment she reveals she wore panties that have a hole for your cock, for you.
1 betterthenyoulol 2020-03-16
Why are you giving me advice about slamming box dude. I know how to crush puss. I rip through trim like a wildfire in an Australian forest. Alright buddy? Tell ya what, why don’t ya just crawl back to your Slavic šliucha wife and crust her tired poon instead of interrupting my incredibly cool and fun binge drinking with your gay comments. Faggot. You know what dude? Your whole thing is like “oh I’m this cool pussy getting guy who fucks bitches and busts nuts and is cool” but you know what? You’re a low t ass bitch dude. If you’ve never cranked your semi hard cock in a public toilet that reeks of piss and has swastikas and racial slurs drawn in the wall, you are a low t no sex drive Havin ass soyboy. Bitch
1 CasanovaNova 2020-03-16
I fucking kek’d
1 betterthenyoulol 2020-03-16
I know you did. Because I’m the man. Don’t ever come at the man unless you got your shit in order.
1 CasanovaNova 2020-03-16
How’s that case of Corona working out?
1 betterthenyoulol 2020-03-16
Not bad the aids is worse
1 CasanovaNova 2020-03-16
Agreed, at least we can finally all die together in hopes Daddy Rump keeps his reality TV show.
1 betterthenyoulol 2020-03-16
Hell yeah big dog
1 CasanovaNova 2020-03-16
I’m knocking out for the night render completed thankfully earlier than expected, don’t drink too much bro we need you here for Wuhan 2: Electric Bugaloo
1 betterthenyoulol 2020-03-16
My livers bouta give out tbh all good dude you got this
1 CasanovaNova 2020-03-16
Allman multivitamins.
UK ones.
Trust me one of those a day and some melatonin at night and you’ll be right as rain.
1 betterthenyoulol 2020-03-16
Taking care of your body is gay. Sorry buddy but I’m no faggot. Anyway, Goodnight to the only Indian I’ve ever loved 👊🏿👊🏿
1 CasanovaNova 2020-03-16
Lmao goodnight chief, a true Chad would understand that you can’t pound brew if your liver can’t flush the swig 😎💪
1 betterthenyoulol 2020-03-16
Brew if for queers and lesbians who think that drinking beer I makes them alternative. Having a black bulb on the end of your nose from crushing whiskey every night for three decades is where it’s at
1 CasanovaNova 2020-03-16
If that’s where you are bro here’s to Stonks on Wall Street paying for regenerative treatments and a potential Gene therapy future where we can just buy new organs and live much longer.
Not really a whisky guy as I figure if I’m drinking hard better be vodka neat so I can see Satan directly in his eyes
1 betterthenyoulol 2020-03-16
Nah bro I want my alcohol to burn my throat and make my face so hot you could fry an egg on it. Going beet root red from a bottle of whiskey and still somehow managing to trick an Austrian backpacker into having sex with you in a tent is one of the purest most sickest experiences you can ever have, give it a shot sometime
1 Quagbot9000 2020-03-16
GIGGITY
1 CasanovaNova 2020-03-16
Are you Captain Haddock?
Also, I’ve had enough drunken escapades for one lifetime but hey dude, I totally get the vibe. Life is too short to spend being underpaid for your boss to live the life you deserve🙏🏼
1 betterthenyoulol 2020-03-16
Hell yeah brother. Cheers to a real pussy getting Indian king dude. Crushing it out here
1 double-happiness 2020-03-16
The colour scheme reminds me of Pepsi.
1 throwawayaccount_34 2020-03-16
What is this post? You posted a picture of a car. I don’t know what kind of car this is, I don’t know who you are, I don’t understand the title. What does any of this have to do with this subreddit? I get shitposts, but honestly this feels like it was made by an autistic worm of a human being. Please go outside, you pathetic nigger