I have a journeyman test tomorrow and need a calculator because I'm out of state for work. Every single store in this crappy town in the middle of Iowa is closed for riot preparation. No walmart, staples, officemax....
Black people don't even live in Iowa, what the fuck
Black people may not live in Iowa but where there are mayos, there are chapos. Only mayo that's immune from spontaneously converting to chapo are boomers, so pretty much anywhere besides Florida has them.
"Looks like it's going to be another night on the Snorlax for me, wife brought home another man and isn't letting me watch this time."
I mean just looking at this effeminate guy in that curled up position, and then seeing his punk/butch ass wife, I already feel like I know everything I need to know about their "open marriage". I feel like I can be almost certain that he'd be perfectly happy in a monogamous relationship, and she's just a whore that's been railed so many times her brain is incapable of monogamy. He just listens to everything she says, and she can convince him of things even she doesn't believe because she's either more intelligent or better spoken.
The scavenger is the long term survivor, while the rest of them have political debates and are busy fighting each other, the scavenger has looted all he needs to survive the winter. That is, a 15" flat screen and a couple dozen bottles of vodka. Not sure what he's going to do with the flat screen because he's homeless, but when using the vodka buff he becomes practically immune to rubber bullets, tear gas, and the feeling of shame. And he is always using the buff.
Others break windows to show it to the man, or clash with the police or political opponents. The scavenger doesn't even know there's a protest going on, he is on the ultimate level of centrism. The past decade has been one long blackout to him so he doesn't know most things that occurred before this morning. To him this is just like a weird lucky world event where all of the sudden a bunch of unguarded loot dungeons started spawning all over the place. He does not break windows, but after the antifa kid is done venting his daddy issues, and he gets past his confusion at why the white folks are opening up shit for him all of a sudden - well, don't mind if I do.
Very little in the way of armor or weapons, but what he lacks in those respects he makes up for in speed, he can run fast and for great distances. While the mercenary is consumed with hatred and a desire for vengeance for his fallen brother Ahmaud, the Scavenger just never would've gone into a crazy ass white people neighborhood in the first place, and if he had his exit would make Ahmaud look like he was going in slow motion, and he'd make sure to have at least actually stolen something in the mean time. Practicality immune to the cop class because he can spot the color blue from a mile away and immediately take appropriate evasive actions, even with a bac of 0.5.
Low iq and lack of literacy means he's too stupid to be sad and immune to depression, he can find the will and fortitude to carry on even in the most desperate of circumstances, when practically anyone else would have long given up and eaten a bullet rather than continue on, he will just gladly down his final bit of vodka, spread some rat poison in a circle on the concrete around him, and sleep like a baby. In the morning he'll scrape off the dried vomit, wonder how the hell he wound up in Minneapolis, before slowly realizing once again that a loot event is ongoing and immediately springing into action. No hesitation, just pure instinct, behind every broken window might lie his next fifth. Every morning to him is like a brand new world, a new chance to start over, new wonders to discover, new ethanol to find and consume.
Only weakness is roof Koreans. Truly they are like the mimic of the scavengers world. Tbf he usually runs from anyone armed or Asian looking, but when he's taken too many vodka buffs its damn hard to look up. With any luck though you just wake up in the ER, get handed a bill you're sure as hell never gonna be paying, head back outside and hope you didn't miss the rest of world event.
62 comments
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3 Renatoshreds 2020-06-02
what about the irish boomer saying the n word in his speech
(with hard rs)
3 boyoyoyoyong 2020-06-02
That's the bard class dlc
4 Renatoshreds 2020-06-02
"§igg§$s come in every color"
will go down in history
1 [deleted] 2020-06-02
[removed]
1 bussygivver 2020-06-02
joggers come in every color of town and steal their construction boots
1 [deleted] 2020-06-02
[removed]
3 ShemaleSmasher 2020-06-02
Easily Sword Brony
3 Renatoshreds 2020-06-02
proceeds to get stomped to comatose
3 Psykomanteum 2020-06-02
They're not good against the Scavenger class. Better against support units like Sorcerer.
1 Lord_jyraksiz 2020-06-02
He is immune to autism based magic but very weak against blunt damage
3 LindseyGrahamRanch 2020-06-02
Based on all of his woke tweets and how easily he got curbstomped, I think he's just a low-level NPC.
1 watermark1917 2020-06-02
Special skill has to be named "The Pretzel"
Weakness to unarmed mobs
1 texanapocalypse33 2020-06-02
DLC
3 UserNotHere404 2020-06-02
Crayon: that guy that got dragged by the FedEx truck
3 Leopoldofsky 2020-06-02
Uncle Ted would be an Archer.
5 LindseyGrahamRanch 2020-06-02
Ted would be demoman class.
2 awarabej 2020-06-02
Don't forget barbarian
2 LindseyGrahamRanch 2020-06-02
Druid class
3 BananaHockey 2020-06-02
FedEx truck
2 AHS_is_for_pedos 2020-06-02
pyromancer all the way
2 XirallicBolts 2020-06-02
Pyromancer. Ready to burn shit down.
I have a journeyman test tomorrow and need a calculator because I'm out of state for work. Every single store in this crappy town in the middle of Iowa is closed for riot preparation. No walmart, staples, officemax....
Black people don't even live in Iowa, what the fuck
1 watermark1917 2020-06-02
Black people may not live in Iowa but where there are mayos, there are chapos. Only mayo that's immune from spontaneously converting to chapo are boomers, so pretty much anywhere besides Florida has them.
2 fireyaweh87 2020-06-02
Why buy rooftop Koreans when you can be rooftops Koreans.
3 SlowFatHusky 2020-06-02
Rooftop koreans are my spirit animal, even though I prefer banging autistic FOB Chinese MILFs.
1 watermark1917 2020-06-02
Rooftop koreans are the worst thing since miniskirt Iranians
3 SlowFatHusky 2020-06-02
Rooftop Koreans are the best thing since Chechens decapitating tankies.
2 ImGonnaZoom 2020-06-02
Joggernaut
2 rebelland1930 2020-06-02
Sniper
2 SchnupfStaffel 2020-06-02
More of this shit, please
Also, where's jogger?
1 SnapshillBot 2020-06-02
"Looks like it's going to be another night on the Snorlax for me, wife brought home another man and isn't letting me watch this time."
I mean just looking at this effeminate guy in that curled up position, and then seeing his punk/butch ass wife, I already feel like I know everything I need to know about their "open marriage". I feel like I can be almost certain that he'd be perfectly happy in a monogamous relationship, and she's just a whore that's been railed so many times her brain is incapable of monogamy. He just listens to everything she says, and she can convince him of things even she doesn't believe because she's either more intelligent or better spoken.
Snapshots:
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1 [deleted] 2020-06-02
[deleted]
1 le_ebin_trolecel 2020-06-02
Tough pick between sniper and sorcerer.
1 njihubgyvftcvygub 2020-06-02
Def. the Mercenary
2 watermark1917 2020-06-02
Too op, where's the challenge
1 paristetris 2020-06-02
Me on the far right
1 Whitehand67 2020-06-02
Look at this dude firing a bow without arm braces. I guess he wants to rip off his forearm skin
1 bigboy204856 2020-06-02
Me and my mom are that guy
1 pandeyji_ka_ladka 2020-06-02
This ain't deuxchd like, my son
4 boyoyoyoyong 2020-06-02
You see a please in that title, it was a demand, a demand that went unheeded.
3 pandeyji_ka_ladka 2020-06-02
My bad then. That's a total deuxking behavior
1 I_abhor_redditors 2020-06-02
Sniper to snipe some apes.
1 Doivid_Magnum 2020-06-02
Unless you're mercenary, juggernaut, or sniper, it's already over for you.
3 watermark1917 2020-06-02
The scavenger is the long term survivor, while the rest of them have political debates and are busy fighting each other, the scavenger has looted all he needs to survive the winter. That is, a 15" flat screen and a couple dozen bottles of vodka. Not sure what he's going to do with the flat screen because he's homeless, but when using the vodka buff he becomes practically immune to rubber bullets, tear gas, and the feeling of shame. And he is always using the buff.
Others break windows to show it to the man, or clash with the police or political opponents. The scavenger doesn't even know there's a protest going on, he is on the ultimate level of centrism. The past decade has been one long blackout to him so he doesn't know most things that occurred before this morning. To him this is just like a weird lucky world event where all of the sudden a bunch of unguarded loot dungeons started spawning all over the place. He does not break windows, but after the antifa kid is done venting his daddy issues, and he gets past his confusion at why the white folks are opening up shit for him all of a sudden - well, don't mind if I do.
Very little in the way of armor or weapons, but what he lacks in those respects he makes up for in speed, he can run fast and for great distances. While the mercenary is consumed with hatred and a desire for vengeance for his fallen brother Ahmaud, the Scavenger just never would've gone into a crazy ass white people neighborhood in the first place, and if he had his exit would make Ahmaud look like he was going in slow motion, and he'd make sure to have at least actually stolen something in the mean time. Practicality immune to the cop class because he can spot the color blue from a mile away and immediately take appropriate evasive actions, even with a bac of 0.5.
Low iq and lack of literacy means he's too stupid to be sad and immune to depression, he can find the will and fortitude to carry on even in the most desperate of circumstances, when practically anyone else would have long given up and eaten a bullet rather than continue on, he will just gladly down his final bit of vodka, spread some rat poison in a circle on the concrete around him, and sleep like a baby. In the morning he'll scrape off the dried vomit, wonder how the hell he wound up in Minneapolis, before slowly realizing once again that a loot event is ongoing and immediately springing into action. No hesitation, just pure instinct, behind every broken window might lie his next fifth. Every morning to him is like a brand new world, a new chance to start over, new wonders to discover, new ethanol to find and consume.
Only weakness is roof Koreans. Truly they are like the mimic of the scavengers world. Tbf he usually runs from anyone armed or Asian looking, but when he's taken too many vodka buffs its damn hard to look up. With any luck though you just wake up in the ER, get handed a bill you're sure as hell never gonna be paying, head back outside and hope you didn't miss the rest of world event.
1 awarabej 2020-06-02
I'm Mercenary.
Me and the homies be jamming out to this as we full auto every cracker we see
1 brad_the_chad 2020-06-02
Sniper
1 watermark1917 2020-06-02
Scavenger
1 DoItYouPussy 2020-06-02
I’m the cop that called everyone a faggot
1 R0saParkinsons 2020-06-02
Careful, the scavengers backstab ability is super effective against him.
1 Giulio-Cesare 2020-06-02
I went with the new DLC class, Enforcer.
1 most_slotted_floppy 2020-06-02
You’re making me choose between sniper and caster? Shit that’s tough.
1 Tarrock 2020-06-02
Juggernaut. I like to play a more tanky class and get up in there.
1 BroughtToYouBySprite 2020-06-02
Can't decide between Mercenary and Joggernaut
1 ToQuoteGuyFieri 2020-06-02
Negromancer
1 brunudumal 2020-06-02
Paladin
1 neo_baneposter 2020-06-02
You came to die with your city
1 CasanovaNova 2020-06-02
Nowhere for Jesus 3.0 I feel left out.
1 AutoModerator 2020-06-02
boomer
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1 l3v1athaN_ 2020-06-02
Sorcerer no question
1 Lord_jyraksiz 2020-06-02
Scavenger. I'm gonna enjoy my free whiskey while you goofy niggas duke it out.
1 AutoModerator 2020-06-02
based
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