Monke guide us back to tradition

The guy obviously uses his legs to push himself up, the monke us mostly just stopping him from falling backwards. Still impressive but so many of you retards think the based monke does all the work.

1 Fandemon 2020-06-03

human propaganda

1 MikyPwnd 2020-06-03

oo monky

1 Melonskal 2020-06-03

Flairless mong

1 ffbtaw2 2020-06-03

Probably true but chimps are remarkably strong, 2.5 times pound-for-pound and 1.5 times stronger period. They have much more fast-twitch muscle fiber.

2 PleaseGoDilate 2020-06-03

Fuck Joe Rogan, I'd beat the shit out of a chimpanzee, single leg into back mount and finish it off with a RNC. Done.

2 UnalignedRando 2020-06-03

I'd pay good money to see you try.

1 PleaseGoDilate 2020-06-03

Bring me meth and a chimp and you'll see.

2 UnalignedRando 2020-06-03

That was my second request! Could we get the fighter and the chimp of different drugs, to raise the stakes? PCP monke vs methhead.

3 Redactor0 2020-06-03

Actually this is something very interesting about PCP. When you give it to a chimpanzee it just makes them fall asleep. In fact, PCP was traditionally the preferred way of sedating them when transporting them here from Africa.

2 UnalignedRando 2020-06-03

Might make the fight more fair then.

2 Dark_Wahlberg 2020-06-03

what the hell were they trying to accomplish when they figured out PCP makes them sleepy?

2 Neanderthulean 2020-06-03

I can’t stand these fuckin tards

“Bro their neck is STACKED, you can’t even choke them out bro, DONT you watch JOE ROGAN???”

Shut the fuck up spergs, any adult human over 160lbs with remotely decent training would absolutely fuck this monkey up.

3 AutoModerator 2020-06-03

NTA

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1 Redactor0 2020-06-03

There isn't really any way to train to deal with the pain when the canine teeth come down on you.

1 Neanderthulean 2020-06-03

Lmao that’s true. But tbf people experience worse pain in just normal human fights, people get their face sliced open (usually by elbows, knees, accidental head collisions) all the time in MMA, Muay Thai, etc.

Any striking sport where elbows are legal you’ll often see people get their forehead turned into goat vaginas and aren’t visibly bothered by the pain (the blood getting in their eyes definitely bothers them however).

People who compete in these sports “feel” the pain but during the fight it’s not nearly as bad as it should be.

I hate the fuckin dorks who say “Bro ADRENALINE, humans can’t feel ANYTHING cuz they got ADRENALINE PUMPIN”, because adrenaline won’t do shit for a lot of injuries. But when it comes to something like bites, cuts, or minor bone breakage, it definitely mitigates the pain.

I’ve gotten my forehead sliced open by a headbutt during state duels in wrestling and the only reason I knew I was gashed open was because I started leaking all over the other guy.

I didn’t start feeling the actual cut until they stopped the match for blood-time (5 minutes to contain the bleeding) and wrapped my entire face in bandages. Once the actual match was stopped though the pain hit all at once.

1 VanillaReign 2020-06-03

I've never seen an MMA fighter eat someone's face. Chimps eat faces all the time.

1 Neanderthulean 2020-06-03

Yeah a chimp would maul the average person. Im talking about extremely athletic martial artists (specifically MMA) who have been fighting their entire life.

An average chimp is 3-4 feet tall and weighs 80-150 lbs. Do you really think this genetically modified Rock Golem wouldnt stand a chance against a 5”3 chimp

https://i.imgur.com/g2MECyf.jpg

Are you telling me this Cracka-Gorilla WOULDNT maul a manlet chimp??

https://i.imgur.com/9DX1EQk.jpg

I’d even have my money on these two flyweight GOATs (~140lbs during their fight) over a chimp

https://i.imgur.com/x7dnmn7.gifv

1 Sasanka_Of_Gauda 2020-06-03

Get shot

1 deeznutsdeeznutsdeez 2020-06-03

You'd shoot a single on a monkey that's half your height? You wouldn't be able to reach its legs. IMO just jab it and shuck it off whenever it tries to lunge at you. It can't keep lunging forever, monkeys have bad cardio relative to humans (hopefully). I'll make the monkey look like josh koscheck vs gsp. Hypothetically.

1 PleaseGoDilate 2020-06-03

Im 5'7, me and the monkey are the same height

1 deeznutsdeeznutsdeez 2020-06-03

Condolences brotha 😔

1 PleaseGoDilate 2020-06-03

Its cool, I can gymcel and put on muscle faster than any of you lanklets plus movie theatres think Im a child and I get the reduced ticket pricing.

1 poshl0st 2020-06-03

just look at some chimp attack photos, they can pull a face off

1 Rkorgo 2020-06-03

Jaime, pull that shit up.

1 Hormelcoffee6 2020-06-03

Yeah 1.5 times stronger than the average man. You bet ur ass that Eddie hall could snap one in half.

1 GreedyDatabase 2020-06-03

Google told me a chimp is 4 or 5 times stronger than a man, not 1.5,

1 ProEvilOperations 2020-06-03

Average man not average soylet. Google probably think there are "men" out there below 6 feet. 🤣🤣🤣

1 CalculatorOctavius 2020-06-03

we are the brothers retard (aka the retard brothers), and we have a little something up our sleeves (maybe a trick slash plan, haha)

1 Edgar-Allan-Toe 2020-06-03

Schizo moment

1 superscout 2020-06-03

U sound so mad

1 ForeskinReconquista2 2020-06-03

chimps have a ridiculous amount of upper body strength. look at this one

7 Cardboard-Samuari 2020-06-03

Really really thought that was going to be a picture of Joe Rogan.

1 ForeskinReconquista2 2020-06-03

fuck

1 TTVBlueGlass 2020-06-03

Look at the balls on that thing! It'll rip your arms off!

Shout-out to mods of /r/JoeRogan being gigantic shithole pussies.

1 _SentientCumSock_ 2020-06-03

Same

1 neigeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 2020-06-03

brought a tear to my eye.. this is peak.. race relations will never get better than this

1 cumgangster69 2020-06-03

🐵🤜🏿🤛😀

1 CATTLE___RAPIST 2020-06-03

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxAjXtJf5AE another cool one

1 [deleted] 2020-06-03

[deleted]

1 jarvis125 2020-06-03

BLM

1 Snookerswamp01157 2020-06-03

Haha look at me I'm calling black people monky hahaha.

1 Snookerswamp01157 2020-06-03

Haha black people are monke hahaha give me likes.

1 tialhing3 2020-06-03

he cute

4 ticktockwarrior2 2020-06-03

Yeah my nigga cute as fuck

1 TTVBlueGlass 2020-06-03

For real. I want to give him a red shirt and make him my partner in crime like the shifty Arab from Indiana Jones.

1 seekerofdarkness73 2020-06-03

This is so powerful...

The way he grabs his hand was so delicate yet so strong....

We must return to origin, become monke again, togheter.

1 Bourbon2033 2020-06-03

He grabbed his hand like that to demonstrate submission. Truly beautiful to see monke in action

1 chonkerabuse 2020-06-03

oooo ooh aaah ooo aaah eee ahh

2 Platycel 2020-06-03

Stunning and brave

1 greenbluepig 2020-06-03

Agree

1 TylerTheBox 2020-06-03

This.

1 DerDickeNachbar 2020-06-03

Based

1 SpezKilledSwartz2 2020-06-03

Beautiful

1 80BAIT08 2020-06-03

OOO AAH OO UH

1 eujwhwge 2020-06-03

Finally some peaceful protestor

1 thealt1776 2020-06-03

Wholesome monke 😍😍😍

1 5StarUberPassenger 2020-06-03

im happy this is a monke sub now

1 SynthGood 2020-06-03

Wow the disrespect. Didn't you know that all deuxcels are actual monkés who got kicked out of their monké group. Our group leaders are on some grug level of retardation. Old dusty ass animals that I cannot associate my self with no more.

So you may ask what about the monkés in this sub? yeah we're scatted around this planet, we may never meet in real life. But one thing we share for certain is that we all have cognitive abilities similar to humans. We steal electronic devices from humans and ever since we discovered the internet it's been really a great learning experience. This subreddit allowed me to meet my relative monkés from around the world and I'm great for it.

Please use my proper human pronouns: he/him not 'it'. Yes I'm transhuman.

2 DeTobiasch 2020-06-03

WORDS WORDS WORDS

1 AutoModerator 2020-06-03

grill

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1 JanniesPlzDie4Eva 2020-06-03

😴😴😴😴

1 ffbtaw2 2020-06-03

We chimp sub now.

2 Giulio-Cesare 2020-06-03

check out the 'early life' on that second monke's wikipedia page

1 Intersectional-Sofa 2020-06-03

Big nose monke say I stole 6 million of his banana, but me not think there even 6 million bananas in the jungle at that time

3 Giulio-Cesare 2020-06-03

the time it take to peel 6 million banana in just a few years doesn't add up

would require peeling 100 bananas a second

1 LindseyGrahamRanch 2020-06-03

Most people are impressed about how apes use tools, but that monkey's skipped ahead all the way to inventing usury.

1 BanteredRho 2020-06-03

My fellow monkes

1 [deleted] 2020-06-03

[deleted]

1 Amerimutt30 2020-06-03

phenotypes

You mean species dingus, phenotype is the the expression of different alleles within a species, like how people have different eye or hair color.

1 ffbtaw2 2020-06-03

Fair enough, I had no idea simians exhibited such a huge range of morphologies.

1 NigelThornberry2 2020-06-03

DAS RITE

1 HotterAndBitter 2020-06-03

Return to MONKE

1 Hsutheguard 2020-06-03

damn they are pretty strong

1 Electronic_Dust 2020-06-03

They can kill you easily if it's more than two

1 alp3r_ 2020-06-03

ancestral fistbump

1 Jonathan_Rimjob 2020-06-03

It's funny how he turns the dudes hand when helping him up. Showing your palm like that is a sign of submission but this monkey things of him as higher in the pecking order so he also extends his hand palm facing upward.

1 SynthGood 2020-06-03

Fuck other species 😒🤮

All my niggas fuck with monkés only 😈😈💯

1 Msmit71 2020-06-03