Listeners of the podcast The Biggest Problem in the Universe, hosted by Maddox and Dick Masterson, are having their own conspiracyfest in thinking that frequent guest and contributor Asterios Kokkinos is trying to flick the Dick and become the new permanent host.

Boisterous Coconuts, having had enough of these vile and unsubstantiated rumours, writes an angry post clarifying the situation by using naughty words and alluding to a secret (possibly crime-related?) that he can't elaborate on until 2026.

This all isn't helped by the fact that this sneaky Greek went on a drunken feminist rant the time that he actually did replace Dick on the podcast.

Will we ever find out why he is this sneaky? Will the public ever know about all the crimes Dick has helped him cover up? Only time will tell.