So it looks like that shitlord /u/comedicsans removed the thread I began a beautiful tale in because sperglords can't resist waving their dicks in a kids face.

I need my dank karma though and you guys need this story so here.

Warning: this isn't shitposting, this is advanced shitposting.

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Okay.

Once upon a time in a faraway land there was a young man called Donald. When he was a boy he always dreamed of growing up to become a big strong businessman. As he grew, he got a small loan from his father in the region of all the gold in the land and he vowed to use this money wisely.

Over time he developed a number of magical skills but they came at a great cost for each time he used his skills to embed his name on objects throughout this faraway fantasy land his hair was swallowed up by magic! You see no magic comes without a price and Donalds was fed off the energy imbued in his wonderful golden locks.

Unpertrubed he continued his quest to become the best there ever was. However his kingdom was in disarray. Everywhere Donald looked he saw horrible things. He had marriages. He had wives, children to protect and ultimately he settled on his grandest plan yet.

"I will build a wall to seal our fantastical realm off from those who would do us harm" Donald claimed.

Some laughed at him for they knew not of his magical hair, others twisted by his powers fell under them and became mindless shambling hordes of flesh powered by a dark magic known as memecraft.

It was during this time that secrets about Donald slowly came to light, chiefly that to keep his magic strong he was engaged in an illicit and sensuous affair with his own daughter. Ravaging her delicate body with his tiny hands he would leave her filled with such ecstasy that she wouldn't notice when snip snip, he cut her golden pubes to continue his dream of a magical wall powered by his lineages magic.

And there you have it, now you know.

You see the land this tale takes place in, which is wholly fantastical and a work of fiction, is called Merrika. Merrika is a land governed by the rich and powerful and has a long and illustrious history filled with tales of little men shaking off big imposing rulers and how every man can claim his place in the world should he only try hard enough.

Every four years in Merrika there is a great battle. Its a battle that the regular townsfolk are given a stake in but really the struggle happens in the keeps and major holdings dotted throughout the lands. The gold brokers and wizard guilds fight for dominance and thrust their magic and gold towards those who would rise to the ruling seat in the land, the Ivory Palace.

Donald with his visions of a wall and magical abillities appeared on this field of battle at a time all thought him a joke. A silly Lord who peddled his gold foolishly. Little did they know of the power he wielded. First he struck down a whole cast of villains vying for the Ivory Palace, chief amongst them the likes of Christie Bridge Closer, angry fat Lord from a dank and dismal kingdom, there was also The Rat, a sleazy snivelling thing loathed by all and last but not least the Groveller. The Groveller was one of the least evil of these villains and most of his vile reputation was brought about by that of his brother, the former occupant of the Ivory Palace.

One by one Donald struck them down. Some with vicious magic, others he sought out their weaknesses and fed them to his mindless hordes who gobbled them up hungrily and chanted them throughout the lands.

Elsewhere in the Kingdom a rival group was also seeking to take the Ivory Palace, and it was there that the Hilldog was gaining momentum. The Hilldog was a ruthless secretive creature, not afraid to promise great riches for all who followed it but take gold from others behind the scenes. The Hilldog first rose to prominence when she aided a former holder of the Ivory Palace. The Blowie King.

She is not uncontested for from the depths of time itself another appeared on this field of battle in Merrika, a man known as the Berner, wild haired and championed by heroes such as Ura Whitemail and with the power of a strange and untested magic known as democratus socialiarus he has served to confuse those of the red and blue kingdoms alike.

Following the arrival of the Berner and with no one to stand in the way of Donald striving victorious to the ancient choosing grounds where the Red realms champion is imbued with the power of the collective Donald continued to pound his way across Merrika and by night he pounded his way inside his golden beauty.

"daddy~" Vanky, daughter of Donald giggled, dancing around the room wearing nothing but the flag of Merrika. "Aren't you scared that the Press wizards will find out about us and tell the Hilldog?"

"The Press Wizards?" Donald blustered, his gelatinous mass wobbling around after his daughters long smooth legs. "Let me tell you about the Press Wizards. They're the worst, YUCK! Just SAD!" he groaned.

Man tits flew wonderously as he chased his daughter. It was a game they played before they coupled. Sweat ran over every acre of his sagging body, years of magic had taken their toll.

"And the...the Imgrant wizards too! BUILD A WALL. BUILD A WALL." he chanted.

Falling, a stubby little golden hand grabbed Vankys delicate ankle and the two tumbled across the floor, the resounding crash heard for miles around.

"My tower just got ten leagues taller." Donald moaned as Vanky trembled with excitement.

As Donald and Vanky prepared to channel great powers (Vanky oblivious, of course) a number of things were happening. In the corner of the luxurious golden room Donald called home a small miserable creature, starved and battered shook. It was chained to the wall with a series of thick golden links and it sobbed quietly as tiny hands roamed the golden princesses body.

Suddenly it started squawking horribly, it's pasty little face goblin-like as it strained on the golden chains. Letters branded across its forehead could be seen in the dim light in its corner "BTFO".

If Donald noticed it, he paid it no mind, for he was busy chanting the binding words under his breath as Vanky rocked on his thrusting tower.

"High energy. LOW ENERGY. High energy. LOW ENERGY." he chanted. "TELL DADDY WHAT YOU WANT!!" he roared, golden hair seeming aflame.

"CUMMIES"

With this word of power the room filled with light, the miserable little creature in the corner collapsed its eyes going blank as Donald posssessed it and used the power of the beaten Speakurus Wizard Pau'Rian to view his armies from afar.

With Pau'Rians eyes Donald could see a messy scene. It was a huge field of battle centered around one of the intellectual academies dotted around Merrika. Still feeling Vanky on his body and able to channel her power Donald looked closer.

His army, the Trumpets, so named for the golden trumpets they shout words of power through, was being savaged by a crowd of Berners. He had to do something.

Using the ultimate power of the cummies Donald unleashed his inner strength and through Vanky he summoned a demon from foreign lands. One of his most powerful creatures.

A fine mist appeared on the field of battle and a deep thrumming BONG sounded. Heads raised, battle stopped, trumpets and passive aggressive signs were dropped to the ground as the Trumpets kneeled in reverence and the Berners backed off.

A throne appeared in the mists, a fabulous translucent creation filled with semen from the strongest of men. It was carried by naked bodybuilders, their bodies glistening. On top the throne was a blonde haired Angel of a man and to any onlooker he would seem a saint in the flesh, but his enemy knew better.

"Its Meelo the Toukcenghay!" someone screamed. "We need to donate. WHO WILL MATCH ME???."

The voices came from the Berners, and they formed two orderly masses, an empty aisle littered with the bodies of the fallen between them. Donald watched filling with rage.

"Ura...ura...ura.....ura...." The rhythmic summoning words were chanted amidst random screams of "I SOLD MY HOUSE, MATCH ME!!!!" and "I DONATED MY BABY, MATCH ME!!

Just as the chant of Ura reached its fastest, Meelo watching in horror from his throne, Donald from above, a thunderous crack sounded as the very fabric of reality was ripped, a skinny pale man with large glasses stepping through into Merikka.

"Ura....ura....ura..." they chanted, finally coming to a crash on one unified yell. "URA!

"FUCKING WHITEMAILLLLLLL!!!!"

Screamed the creature from the rift, a shockwave rolling across those gathered and turning the hot oiled bodybuilders to dust.

Meelo, too powerful to be destroyed so easily rose from the ruins of his throne, dusting off the shoulders of his suit.

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Don't know if I have another in me tonight. Hope you enjoyed this wonderful fictional made up tale!