Yesterday my GF of 7 months got off of work, went home and showered. She came over and looked superb. Hair was did up in side buns (first time she has done that), she had her glasses on (she rarely wears them but i kinda have a thing for glasses) and her makeup looked really crisp. It was her standard makeup, nothing special there and it was really the least impressive part of the whole deal.
I had a smile on my face for hours and commented on it multiple times about how good she looked. It's nice to see her with her hair up AND her glasses in. Plus I hadn't seen her in 10 days because of the holiday. I let her eat dinner and controlled myself.
We watched the UFC event, did our thing and went to bed. She took off her makeup and put her hair down before bed.
We wake up, we both shower and eat. Come up to watch TV and i get a mental image of her from yesterday with me doing some dirty things to her. I tell her again "You really looked so good yesterday".
I can instantly tell she was taken aback, and it rubbed her wrong. Sometime passes and she goes to leave at 2pm which is rare to her. I try to talk to her and it takes 30 minutes to get it out of her that the comment about her looks were bothering her and that she feels like i don't find her pretty when shes not dolled up. I tell her shes pretty whenever i think it, and 70% of the time were together she is makeup less.
We talked it out, but she was still clearly put off by it. She hasn't really been talkative since she got home. I really don't know how to handle it, i tried to talk it out with her but it was really more me just talking at her and explaining what i meant.
Did i really commit that big of a sin? Should i just drop it? I like to talk things out but this seems a bit ridiculous to me. But maybe i can't relate.
---
tl;dr:GF came over last night all dolled up, hadn't seen her for 10 days. I complimented her repeatedly because she looked superb. Then commented on how attractive she looked yesterday today while fantasizing about doing something to her. Feels like i don't find her pretty without makeup and was crying up a storm. Did i really commit that big of a sin? Should i just drop it?
SRS won't downvote top-line comments, only ones buries within, probably because an admin told them that they barely notice downvotes buried within threads.
It's a typical safe space for women, and as such, adheres to simple feminist mathematical principles (aka galgebra). Let me explain it to you. We start with the centra dogma of feminism:
Men=Bad. Women=Good.
Now, recall the fundamental equation on the sexual objectification (OB) of an oppressed woman (W) by an oppressing man (M):
Note how objectification (OB) is independent of irrelevant and subjective factors such intententions (In), words spoken (Ws) or behaviour (BH), and is instead directly a function of objective factors such as BMI (body mass index), attractiveness, height and penis length.
Applying the central dogma to this equation, and by further applying the Dworkin's principle of conservation of oppression, we come to the underlying principles:
Words/actions of AM = sensitive, considerate, intersectional and pro-feminist.
And-
Words/action of CrM = problematic, harassing, objectifying and mysoginistic,
Oh please, it's just simple gender math (galgebra). It's not much different than the genital arithmetic your children learn in Obama indoctrination centres (kindergarten).
Fetishising is the new buzzword to shame men for being attracted to a woman, in the crazy-woman online circles.
It works perfectly, because if you're not attracted to someone, you're an asshole who is only cares about objectifying women and not her inner beauty as a person, but if you are attracted to her, you're a disgusting pig who's fetishizing her and therefore a perverted sexual deviant.
Some people hate other people, and sometimes they come up with fancy terms to justify it, no matter what the other group of people do. Nothing new. It's creative though, so give them credit.
Btw in case anyone has not heard, if you want to delete an /r/relationships thread, just link it to pretty much anywhere. The mods there set up their automod to delete any linked thread, giving the power to any human on earth with an internet connection to mod-delete threads if they want to. It's not a wise choice imo. But that's how they have it set up.
Yeah but their bot also autobans you from the sub. This leads to autistically making a lot of accounts manually, sperging out and using a bot, or just moving on with your life (like most men).
I don't know what that guy is going on about. They ban you from the sub, sure. You can still link and view threads all you want you just can't comment. In fact, you can even mod, because you're allowed to delete any thread you want because of how they set up their automod.
It sounds like he's projecting about something he's done before.
It's fine if you do it. It's not a wise choice to set up your automod on your subreddit to allow anyone in the world with an internet connection to be able to remove any posts, is what I meant by that. Not a wise choice on their part.
It's 2017 and people still think it's ok to treat women like children (i.e. r/theredpill or cousin sub r/relationships) and castigate someone for treating their partner like an emotionally mature adult and equal and not a crying child.
Disgusting. Happy New Year everyone. It would be a much happier New Year if that sub were quarantined for hate speech though.
This! My boyfriend has a thing for sundresses, they turn him on like nothing I've ever seen. Didn't know that when we first started dating, he just kept saying things like "I love you in sundresses"
Seems like that must have been a pretty tough puzzle to solve
Several commebters saying he should do it all the time and apologise when he does it "wrong". I'm not sure it's wise to constantly pander to your partner's insecurities. If she's self-aware, she shouldn't need to hear an apology because she's twisting his words in her own head. Insecurities are not necessarily helped by indulgence.
Making your partner walk on eggshells and grovel for forgiveness all the time sounds like textbook emotional abuse.
Imagine a man being so insecure that he REQUIRED his girlfriend to call him handsome every day under any and all circumstances under threat of having a crying fit.
This is what treating adult women like fucking children looks like.
Imagine a man being so insecure that he REQUIRED his girlfriend to call him handsome every day under any and all circumstances under threat of having a crying fit.
Well, as a feminist, that would just make him seem really weak and unattractive. Never would I date a man like that. But damn this internalized patriarchy that forces men to behave macho and strong!
All the good advice they have can just be summed up as: "lift weights, take care of your appearance, have real hobbies, don't be a spineless doormat. do these things and women will find you attractive."
For some reason they feel the need to bury solid advice in a festering pile of impotent rage and neckbeard pseudo-science.
It turns out in the end that feminism was one multi generation long gigantic shit test to filter out betas from chads once and for all. We really should have seen it coming.
This is what happens when women think that being a man has zero downsides, so they simultaneously expect to be treated like men and act in ways that people would never respect or justify in a men and wonder why people suddenly don't "respect femininity" or whatever.
And granted that can and does happen in destructive ways that aren't great for men or women alike, but the amount of entitlement involved in expecting people not to not be shitty to you not for not being masculine, but to fucking suck your cock for your weepy and manipulative histrionics is absolutely absurd. That shit shouldn't be tolerated in anyone no less men and it hits the exact resonant frequency of my jimmies. mad.
As male allies and feminists I believe we need follow the example set by strong women such a Lena Dunham, inventor of intersectioning feminists. As men we benefit from a systemic system of systematic privileges and institutional normativity. In case you're a retard who didn't go to college, what that means is that men have the power in society, and so it is up to us, men, to use that power and save feminism.
How can we be better allies? The next time you see a dudebro mansplaining to some poor frightened and traumatized girl, speak up and call that BS out. Remember guys it is up to us to call this stuff out; women can't speak for themselves because they're dumb and nobody listens to them. It's not their fault though because they've be socialized by Patrickarky to whine for hours and hours about meaningless shit.
My bf compliments me a lot - tells me I'm beautiful after just barley waking up in the morning (puffy eyes, pigeons nest instead of hair, lovely morning breath). I also compliemnt him as often as I can, that he has pretty eyes etc.
But does he know that you can't spell "barely"? I think that would be a deal breaker.
This should sum up what to expect from /r/relationships for anyone thinking of asking them: no matter what you do, they'll blame you even if it's a complete 180 from their initial assumptions. While being male is usually the only requirement, that sub has on occasion gone after female OPs to remain consistent.
But you can't even satirize this anymore, they've become a self parody. They first say OP is wrong because he doesn't compliment her enough, then it's he's bad because he actually is, also it's insane to think the woman involved is being overly dramatic in the least. They're not even pretending to be unbiased here. They've become /r/atheism from 5 years ago, a gloriously un-self-aware circlejerky shithole to be laughed at.
i feel like if i was this dude i would just break up with her at this point before she had the chance to break up with me lol
it seems pretty common that people who are cheating or doing something shady in relationships will try and find something to blow out of proportion so they can end it or start being manipulative for their own gains
I do try to, but only if they are genuine.
I'm regularly impressed with how attractive she is and I do my best to tell her that.
Since of course your thread is locked, let me tell ya something. Don't change. If your gf won't accept honesty from you, its going to be a pretty long term shitty relationship.
Married close to twenty years now, if she asks if she looks fat in some outfit I can say no, outfit is fine, its that you need to lose some weight.
I had a little deprogramming to do on that one, but she knows she will get honesty from me if she looks good or not and appreciates it. It also means she only asks when she wants to know for real.
You need to use dread game on that bitch, bro. Openly flirt with slender women such as her sister and friends in front of her. When she bitches you out or acts pouty, tell her you're not attracted to fat women so if she doesn't cut her calories you're going to fuck (name of a girl you've been flirting with).
most people don't want to hear the truth. man, woman, guy, girl, whatever. girls are just outwardly upset by it. men tend to get more angry/defensive than the typical 'sensitive emotional' way
you found someone who values honesty to a further degree than most people do, but saying this like it's a universal truth is just shortsighted
One of the deleted comments hit the nail on the head:
It's because this sub is flooded with over dramatic women and white knights. The OPs girlfriend is being completely over dramatic and acting like an ass hole. But in this sub the OP will find nothing but these people validating her childish behavior. For Christ sakes, he gave her a compliment. But of course, it's not enough, but not only that it was a compliment at a bad time or he shouldn't of complimented her then. He should done it another time instead. No, instead he should be complimenting her looks every 10min and OPs girl is acting in complete logical legitimacy. Give me a fucking break. The OP is being trampled now because his compliment timing was off? Fuck off lol
75 comments
n/a SnapshillBot 2017-01-01
Providing a Safe Space™ from SRD since 2009!
Snapshots:
I am a bot. (Info / Contact)
n/a beer__shits 2017-01-01
OP for when it's gone:
n/a lifesbrink 2017-01-01
SRS really picks some weird places to down vote OP's
n/a ____________13 2017-01-01
Liking bacon isn't the issue. It's getting upset that he only cooks her bacon at meal times.
n/a hugefuckingfaggot2 2017-01-01
why the fuck are you retards upvoting this srd tier title
n/a JamCliche 2017-01-01
I think he means the OP's comments and replies.
n/a beer__shits 2017-01-01
I'm a reformed SRD user
n/a FuckURedditor 2017-01-01
SRS won't downvote top-line comments, only ones buries within, probably because an admin told them that they barely notice downvotes buried within threads.
n/a hakkzpets 2017-01-01
Because I like drama.
n/a headasplodes 2017-01-01
What the FUCK am i reading?
n/a i_do_i_do_let_u_bang 2017-01-01
/r/Relationships is a complicated beast.
There is some really good drama there though.
n/a I-did-the-math 2017-01-01
It's a typical safe space for women, and as such, adheres to simple feminist mathematical principles (aka galgebra). Let me explain it to you. We start with the centra dogma of feminism:
Men=Bad. Women=Good.
Now, recall the fundamental equation on the sexual objectification (OB) of an oppressed woman (W) by an oppressing man (M):
OB=BMI(W) * 100 /[height(M)attractiveness(M)penis length]
Note how objectification (OB) is independent of irrelevant and subjective factors such intententions (In), words spoken (Ws) or behaviour (BH), and is instead directly a function of objective factors such as BMI (body mass index), attractiveness, height and penis length.
Applying the central dogma to this equation, and by further applying the Dworkin's principle of conservation of oppression, we come to the underlying principles:
Words/actions of AM = sensitive, considerate, intersectional and pro-feminist.
And-
Words/action of CrM = problematic, harassing, objectifying and mysoginistic,
Where AM = conventionally gorgeous man, and
CrM = less than attractive man (aka creep).
I trust this clears up the confusion.
n/a Somenakedguy 2017-01-01
This much effort makes my head hurt
n/a I-did-the-math 2017-01-01
Oh please, it's just simple gender math (galgebra). It's not much different than the genital arithmetic your children learn in Obama indoctrination centres (kindergarten).
n/a okamiviking 2017-01-01
This is the kinda autism I live for
n/a beer__shits 2017-01-01
Is this going to be on the final
n/a base_model_android 2017-01-01
Yeah, but you're allowed to bring a single 3x5 notecard with formulas to the exam.
n/a OniTan 2017-01-01
This is stupid. Women can't do math above buying stuff at the store and they're not even good at that. Look how many women have credit card debt.
They claim it's because they're scared of the men in math class, which is also their excuse for why they can't play chess or video games.
n/a night-addict 2017-01-01
The bioelectrical energy generated by your autism restarted my dead grandma's brain.
n/a DistortedLines 2017-01-01
You can never really win with them.
n/a Matthew1J 2017-01-01
LOL... just be female and you have it.
n/a JohnnyLargeCock 2017-01-01
Fetishising is the new buzzword to shame men for being attracted to a woman, in the crazy-woman online circles.
It works perfectly, because if you're not attracted to someone, you're an asshole who is only cares about objectifying women and not her inner beauty as a person, but if you are attracted to her, you're a disgusting pig who's fetishizing her and therefore a perverted sexual deviant.
Some people hate other people, and sometimes they come up with fancy terms to justify it, no matter what the other group of people do. Nothing new. It's creative though, so give them credit.
Btw in case anyone has not heard, if you want to delete an /r/relationships thread, just link it to pretty much anywhere. The mods there set up their automod to delete any linked thread, giving the power to any human on earth with an internet connection to mod-delete threads if they want to. It's not a wise choice imo. But that's how they have it set up.
n/a selfiereflection 2017-01-01
Yeah but their bot also autobans you from the sub. This leads to autistically making a lot of accounts manually, sperging out and using a bot, or just moving on with your life (like most men).
n/a odintal 2017-01-01
Does banning prevent you from viewing or linking threads? I thought it just prevented you from leaving comments.
n/a OniTan 2017-01-01
It doesn't. I still do it.
n/a JohnnyLargeCock 2017-01-01
I don't know what that guy is going on about. They ban you from the sub, sure. You can still link and view threads all you want you just can't comment. In fact, you can even mod, because you're allowed to delete any thread you want because of how they set up their automod.
It sounds like he's projecting about something he's done before.
n/a bytewake 2017-01-01
I don't think that prevents you from linking posts
n/a OniTan 2017-01-01
A woman can turn down sex at any time for any reason. Her body her choice. Making people have sex against their will is rape.
If a man turns down sex with a woman it's because he's misogynist. If a man turns down sex with a tranny it's because he's transphobic.
n/a Hemic 2017-01-01
So if I made a sub like /r/relationships_hehexd and just constantly linked threads they'd all get deleted?
n/a Chicup 2017-01-01
Someone already did that here, and it was amusing to say the least.
n/a HodorTheDoorHolder 2017-01-01
Yep
n/a AntiLuke 2017-01-01
Johnny already did that and they eventually learned to ignore his particular sub.
n/a cimarafa 2017-01-01
How come there isn't a bot that does this automatically?
n/a CirqueDuFuder 2017-01-01
There have been
n/a iceberglettuce1 2017-01-01
Why? What happens if I do it?
n/a JohnnyLargeCock 2017-01-01
It's fine if you do it. It's not a wise choice to set up your automod on your subreddit to allow anyone in the world with an internet connection to be able to remove any posts, is what I meant by that. Not a wise choice on their part.
n/a CirqueDuFuder 2017-01-01
I think it is brilliant because it makes me mod with zero responsibility.
n/a Burnnoticelover 2017-01-01
Your fetish is women? What a depraved freak you are.
n/a JohnnyLargeCock 2017-01-01
Wow. What a misogynistic shithole of a subreddit.
It's 2017 and people still think it's ok to treat women like children (i.e. r/theredpill or cousin sub r/relationships) and castigate someone for treating their partner like an emotionally mature adult and equal and not a crying child.
Disgusting. Happy New Year everyone. It would be a much happier New Year if that sub were quarantined for hate speech though.
n/a SamInTheLoop 2017-01-01
/r/AgainstHateSubs should do something about it
n/a jubbergun 2017-01-01
They should hold a blood drive, but instead of using needles they should just get some buckets and slit their wrists.
n/a BannaHamHock 2017-01-01
Seems like that must have been a pretty tough puzzle to solve
n/a hakkzpets 2017-01-01
Correct me if I'm wrong here, but the boyfriend is hinting at liking jeans, right?
n/a yonicthehedgehog 2017-01-01
from what i've read it seems like he's got a thing for tank tops
n/a Crowsworth 2017-01-01
I think you will find the boyfriend is, in fact, a homosexual.
n/a bytewake 2017-01-01
what did he mean by this?
n/a skivian 2017-01-01
Rape. He means to rape her.
n/a shitsfuckedupalot 2017-01-01
Shes probably fat and looks like stuffed sausages in tight pants or skirts
n/a Yung_Don 2017-01-01
Several commebters saying he should do it all the time and apologise when he does it "wrong". I'm not sure it's wise to constantly pander to your partner's insecurities. If she's self-aware, she shouldn't need to hear an apology because she's twisting his words in her own head. Insecurities are not necessarily helped by indulgence.
Making your partner walk on eggshells and grovel for forgiveness all the time sounds like textbook emotional abuse.
n/a OniTan 2017-01-01
Women can't abuse men. They're always victims.
n/a TheEhSteve 2017-01-01
Imagine a man being so insecure that he REQUIRED his girlfriend to call him handsome every day under any and all circumstances under threat of having a crying fit.
This is what treating adult women like fucking children looks like.
n/a OnSnowWhiteWings 2017-01-01
Well, as a feminist, that would just make him seem really weak and unattractive. Never would I date a man like that. But damn this internalized patriarchy that forces men to behave macho and strong!
n/a OniTan 2017-01-01
/r/theredpill is right again.
n/a Chicup 2017-01-01
I've always thought /r/theredpill was about 50% right, and then 50% crazy.
Its like a team that knows how to practice but can't handle winning.
n/a OniTan 2017-01-01
Basically. Just take from it as much as you agree with.
n/a cuntdestroyer8000 2017-01-01
I tried to do that in College Physics and got a C-
n/a base_model_android 2017-01-01
All the good advice they have can just be summed up as: "lift weights, take care of your appearance, have real hobbies, don't be a spineless doormat. do these things and women will find you attractive."
For some reason they feel the need to bury solid advice in a festering pile of impotent rage and neckbeard pseudo-science.
n/a bleasehalb 2017-01-01
"D-d-don't test me!"
n/a CirqueDuFuder 2017-01-01
And rape tutorials.
n/a TheEhSteve 2017-01-01
It turns out in the end that feminism was one multi generation long gigantic shit test to filter out betas from chads once and for all. We really should have seen it coming.
n/a OniTan 2017-01-01
We should treat women like men.
"Quit acting like a pussy."
n/a TheEhSteve 2017-01-01
This is what happens when women think that being a man has zero downsides, so they simultaneously expect to be treated like men and act in ways that people would never respect or justify in a men and wonder why people suddenly don't "respect femininity" or whatever.
And granted that can and does happen in destructive ways that aren't great for men or women alike, but the amount of entitlement involved in expecting people not to not be shitty to you not for not being masculine, but to fucking suck your cock for your weepy and manipulative histrionics is absolutely absurd. That shit shouldn't be tolerated in anyone no less men and it hits the exact resonant frequency of my jimmies. mad.
n/a Ylajali_2002 2017-01-01
As male allies and feminists I believe we need follow the example set by strong women such a Lena Dunham, inventor of intersectioning feminists. As men we benefit from a systemic system of systematic privileges and institutional normativity. In case you're a retard who didn't go to college, what that means is that men have the power in society, and so it is up to us, men, to use that power and save feminism.
How can we be better allies? The next time you see a dudebro mansplaining to some poor frightened and traumatized girl, speak up and call that BS out. Remember guys it is up to us to call this stuff out; women can't speak for themselves because they're dumb and nobody listens to them. It's not their fault though because they've be socialized by Patrickarky to whine for hours and hours about meaningless shit.
n/a OniTan 2017-01-01
Patrick Swayze?
n/a jubbergun 2017-01-01
Sorry, but most of us aren't interested in predatory incest.
n/a ChateauJack 2017-01-01
Asking the good people of r/relationships at midnight on New Years evening, I like that.
n/a bytewake 2017-01-01
reason number one to not ask the people of /r/relationships for advice: they don't even have someone to fucking spend New Years Eve with
n/a OnSnowWhiteWings 2017-01-01
-35
+306
"How do i give my very important opinion without actually needing to add an substantial input?"
n/a TheMauveHand 2017-01-01
That was a joke.
n/a a_jill_sandwich 2017-01-01
But does he know that you can't spell "barely"? I think that would be a deal breaker.
n/a Be_Cool_Bro 2017-01-01
This should sum up what to expect from /r/relationships for anyone thinking of asking them: no matter what you do, they'll blame you even if it's a complete 180 from their initial assumptions. While being male is usually the only requirement, that sub has on occasion gone after female OPs to remain consistent.
But you can't even satirize this anymore, they've become a self parody. They first say OP is wrong because he doesn't compliment her enough, then it's he's bad because he actually is, also it's insane to think the woman involved is being overly dramatic in the least. They're not even pretending to be unbiased here. They've become /r/atheism from 5 years ago, a gloriously un-self-aware circlejerky shithole to be laughed at.
n/a TSwizzlesNipples 2017-01-01
God damn, is OP's girlfriend a mod here? Because she fucking should be.
n/a beer__shits 2017-01-01
I feel like /r/relationships has been extra shitty lately. Maybe it's the holidays bringing out the bitter.
n/a Nice_Dude 2017-01-01
What a cancerous subreddit, jesus
n/a ballid 2017-01-01
i feel like if i was this dude i would just break up with her at this point before she had the chance to break up with me lol
it seems pretty common that people who are cheating or doing something shady in relationships will try and find something to blow out of proportion so they can end it or start being manipulative for their own gains
n/a Chicup 2017-01-01
/u/newproblemsnewgirl
Since of course your thread is locked, let me tell ya something. Don't change. If your gf won't accept honesty from you, its going to be a pretty long term shitty relationship.
Married close to twenty years now, if she asks if she looks fat in some outfit I can say no, outfit is fine, its that you need to lose some weight.
I had a little deprogramming to do on that one, but she knows she will get honesty from me if she looks good or not and appreciates it. It also means she only asks when she wants to know for real.
n/a OniTan 2017-01-01
You need to use dread game on that bitch, bro. Openly flirt with slender women such as her sister and friends in front of her. When she bitches you out or acts pouty, tell her you're not attracted to fat women so if she doesn't cut her calories you're going to fuck (name of a girl you've been flirting with).
n/a Chicup 2017-01-01
Swinger baby, she'd just join in.
n/a SloppySynapses 2017-01-01
most people don't want to hear the truth. man, woman, guy, girl, whatever. girls are just outwardly upset by it. men tend to get more angry/defensive than the typical 'sensitive emotional' way
you found someone who values honesty to a further degree than most people do, but saying this like it's a universal truth is just shortsighted
n/a Chicup 2017-01-01
If you are looking for a fuck buddy, sure, looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, don't play that game. Its not going to end well.
n/a LSDawson 2017-01-01
Female fragility
n/a haydar1994 2017-01-01
At this stage I don't understand what possesses somebody to post on r/relationships. It's always just a bunch of SJW's looking for a reason to moan
n/a bad_argument_police 2017-01-01
Why the fuck did the girlfriend wear makeup if she didn't think it made her look better?
n/a jubbergun 2017-01-01
One of the deleted comments hit the nail on the head: