THE PUMPKIN RESPONDS

90  2017-01-11 by WearyTunes

217 comments

No wonder you have an army of pretentious neckbeard losers following you around

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I have such a yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge shit eating grin on my face

First tweet reply I saw.

u like to get peed on

Thanks 3=======D~~~~

urine abomination

Jesus fuck i kinda love CURRENTYEAR+2

What happens when you go in to the bathroom as an American and come out an Asian?

European!

something something Golden Shower Race.

I thought he paid a prostitute to pee on a bed, not himself.

he paid himself, a prostitute, to pee on himself on a bed

This can only get better if he started recording his rants and uploading them to youtube.

It's not like he's lying. 'Fake News' is a mainstream media created narrative of fighting falsified news that misleads people, but in reality it is an excuse to censor conservative leaning media outlets. It's their last chance at reclaiming credibility in the public eye when less than ~20% of Americans trust MSM.

This is especially important for them after they were exposed for setting up town halls where Hillary knew all the questions and had rehearsed answers memorized. (Political theater) Hillary also had debate questions given to her ahead of time, and we also know that several journalists had given her campaign free reign to review and edit their writings thus destroying their journalistic integrity. They also created hit piece news stories on Clintons behalf targeting Trump and Bernie Sanders.

tl;dr 'Fake News' is the Fake News.

OK Trumpshill, how is Vladimir doing?

Thanks for not responding in any meaningful way. There's really nothing to say as what I said is true so I understand. Wikileaks and Assange have a 10 year, 10 million document record of 100% accuracy. If he says Russia isn't the culprit, that's all there is to say. There's a reason the US won't release literally any credible information pinpointing anything against Russia. They weren't involved. The DNC emails came from an insider, and the Podestaphiles were phished, not hacked.

If you want to talk about a real Russian connection ask Hillary about Uranium One.

lol

Podestaphiles were phished, not hacked

Phishing is a method hacking you stupid fuck.

Phishing is a method of hacking.

No, it isn't. It isn't even brute forcing either. Podesta gave them his login info through a proxy site set up to trick people. That isn't hacking. But hey, I bet you probably think "p@ssw0rd" is a good password, right?

I don't feel like repeating myself who here's my other comment.

But hey, I bet you probably think "p@ssw0rd" is a good password, right?

Naw, I prefer a memorized 20 random character sequence to access a strictly local encrypted password database. I bet you're retarded enough to set your main user account as the operating system administrator and think that Windows UAC is sufficient for controlling user access privileges.

What are you, the computer security gatekeeper?

Lmao not even running a custom whonix distro on a remote vpn for improved opsec lol

what the fuck is a "computer security gatekeeper", lol

Here's the Urban Dictionary definition of Gatekeeping :


When someone takes it upon themselves to decide who does or does not have access or rights to a community or identity.


"I love punk bands like Green Day!"

"Ugh, they're not even punk. They totally sold out."

"Oh man, I love Harry Potter. I am such a geek!"

"Hardly. Talk to me when you're into theoretical physics."

"Erika Moen is my favorite queer cartoonist."

"She's not queer, she married a man!"

"Quit your gatekeeping. No one died and made you Queen of the Gays!"


about | flag for glitch | Summon: urbanbot, what is something?

urbanbot, what is donald trump?

Here's the Urban Dictionary definition of Donald Trump :


America's worst president. Ever.


"Donald Trump is a dangerous idiot, supported by fools, who only ever looked out for himself."


about | flag for glitch | Summon: urbanbot, what is something?

urbanbot, what is white people?

Wow, that's stupid. It doesn't even make sense in the context of your comment. Computer security isn't a community or identity.

Phishing is a method of hacking.

No, it's not. Phishing is a method of social engineering. Hacking involves defeating mechanical/electronic security features. Social Engineering involves using deception to manipulate individuals into divulging confidential or personal information. Those are two different yet related things.

Hacking involves defeating mechanical/electronic security features.

No, hacking just means exploiting weaknesses in a system or network to obtain access.

The methods that Russian intelligence agencies would involve electronic phishing measures such as this to obtain information through technical means.

This guy hacked the AT&T system in the early 70s using a Captain Crunch whistle.

Yes, that's an actual example of a hack. He defeated/manipulated the electronic/mechanical systems. Convincing some idiot to give you their password isn't hacking, it's advanced con-artistry. I just had to sit through an hour of bullshit training on this. There's a difference between the two.

Convincing some idiot to give you their password isn't hacking, it's advanced con-artistry.

Did you not see the first link I gave you? Phishing can (and usually does) involve exploiting browser features or software exploits to surreptitiously obtain information from the victim's system that can be used to compromise the network (or just their computer).

I just had to sit through an hour of bullshit training on this. There's a difference between the two.

Oh, man, an hour of training!

No, a whole hour of bullshit training. You really need to learn where the emphasis actually belongs.

Hacking is an all around umbrella term that encompasses and overlaps social engineering. Social engineering is often referred to as hacking people.

hacking is an all around umbrella term that encompasses anything computer related that suburban moms find unsettling.

marriage scams on dating sites? hacking

multilevelmarketing online? hacking

nigerian prince? hacking

someone calling you and you giving them all your personal information and passwords? hacking

two people typing on the same keyboard really fast while techno music blaring in the background? hacking

writing a GUI in visual basic to enhance the photo? hacking

that suburban moms find unsettling.

Ooo, I like that!

Thanks for not responding in any meaningful way.

You forget where you were?

[Scrubs gif from Ben's funeral]

It's so funny and sad that you guys whine about participation trophies destroying merit but expect every moronic thing that spews from your mouth to be treated with the debating equivalent of a participation trophy aka being treated like a serious argument. Run back to your safe space before you hurt your brain too much.

Thanks for not responding in any meaningful way.

Le fallacy!

BOI

I AIN'T READIN

ALL DAT SHIT

[removed]

"msm is provably shit this year"

"Yeah but look at how much worse this trash is"

Lol

the obvious lesson here is not to consume any media

Just lots of piss.

Tbqh pretty much the only stuff I trust at all anymore for straight info not op eds is just Reuters and the AP..

Anyone have any other suggestions lol

in all seriousness, i think there's something to this approach w/r/t media (i.e. find an outlet with no stake in pushing a narrative about the topic), although the overall article is a bit too "you can't trust the system, maaan"

With respect to the media, people are extraordinarily stupid. For example, I don’t trust Russia Today (RT) with respect to things that Russia cares about, but they’re very good on things Russia doesn’t care about. What you’re looking for is a media outlet which doesn’t care about the issue in question, which isn’t subject to pressure on that issues, whose owner doesn’t care. The US media is useful in regards to the US, of course, but it is not trustworthy.

Yerp. That's about how I try to approach my news intake

I have a wall st journal app that I read whilst taking an extra long bm. Just avoid the OP-Ed pieces, they are pure cancer

Hehe there's some surprisingly good op eds mixed in with the cancer, at least in the print wsj. Some of them are unbelievably trash though. They also routinely publish rebuttals that dem congressmen send in after the journal shits on em, those are always interesting.

the editor in chief is the only one I've found to be able to enjoy, much less read. the rest are garbage with massive victim-complexes of "DAE think Obummer is a eco-facist who wants to kill America with over-regulation?!!!"

That used to be true of the WSJ but now even the news section is cancer after Murdoch bought it.

On a scale of 1-10 (one being Politico, 10 being The Daily Stormer/Worker), on what scale of false-media narrative pushing is the WSJ in your opinion?

1 is Politico?

5

Ah, no wonder you hate Politico: the shameful "South Park" neutral of journalist websites.

Wikileaks is your presumed baseline of 0 then?

All media outlets have bias. There is no such thing as the view from nowhere. What I care about is the honesty of a reporter in discussing this and the fair treatment they give other points of view. Some conservative papers do this, some liberal ones do too. I like many of the writers at The American Conservative for instance, and The Nation hasn't really gone to shit like Mother Jones has. The WSJ is pure trash.

I know you're young, but just because a newspaper doesn't have a comic-strip section doesn't mean it's automatically trash

Talking with you is certainly a waste of my time.

woo hoo people are posting ian welsh

shhhh youre gonna ruin my rep

You aren't supposed to actually say anything just respond with empty replies you tard.

This shit is why trump won.

Listening to friends, family, and /r/drama users complain is my preferred source of news.

/r/NeutralPolitics, while it has a few slants, isn't too bad about it. They are extremely robotic, but they get down to what's important about a story and what gives something credibility or not.

Dude, I'm jacked as fuck on super male vitality right now, and everything Alex Jones is saying suddenly makes sense!

Damn son. I'm high as fuck on opium and he makes sense to me too!

Wow my friend! I haven't seen memes like this since /r/atheism allowed one-click may-mays (the shit Socrates died for)

Simply epic

Google is not finding anything. Is this fresh pasta?

it is an excuse to censor conservative leaning media outlets.

The Washington comPost also smeared socialist and right-libertarian outlets, don't forget. It's not a conservative thing so much as a "you aren't in the mainstream consensus on foreign policy and other issues" thing.

Fucking geek

Fake news is all news. No news organization has any financial or editorial interest to give you the truth. The only way to stop this is to absorb multiple viewpoints from multiple organizations, and assume that not everything has vetted sources.

Lol what an absolute disgrace. Of course the people obsessed with cuckoldry give us the most degenerate president in history.

Reminder that Trump is a literal cuckold. His former wife was reported to have slept with her bodyguard.

That's why I voted for him

Come on, we all know Bill had to be into some wacky shit too.

sloppy beej's from young 20 interns is 12 out 10 on the degeneracy scale.

just for some context, not even being spitroasted from 12-inch horsecocked trans prostitutes come close to uterrly how fucked up that is

lmao someone actually downvoted you. this sub is full of mayobabies

mayobabies

Mayomen!

mayoNEETs

Mayoblacks tbh

mayo clinics?

Unpopular opinion: I like being white

Downvoted and reported

Disgusting

We've seen your travel earthporn pics. We know

gasp

You think you know a person and then they do something like this.

what is his tweet in response to?

Doesn't matter, think of it like one of those Choose your own adventure books.

u have the best ideas

Trump allegedly hired Russian prostitutes to pee on a bed, while he watched, in a hotel in Moscow that Obama slept in, and Moscow is using this information as blackmail against him. This is all according to an alleged leaked five-year-old report from a British intelligence officer.

Who knows how true any of that is, but it's funny as fuck and the urine jokes on Twitter are sublime.

I'd do some golden showers if the chicks were hot enough tbh

gross tbqh

Piss is sterile and also warm. It's comforting

If they're prostitutes, then I wouldn't be so sure about the sterile part.

As long as they're European hookers they're good

American hookers, he might be dead within 2 years

You've never seen an average russian hooker, have you?

Implying Russia is a European country. XDDDD

Piss is sterile, but the urethra is not.

Don't forget this next time you take part in watersports.

from a British intelligence officer

I hear his code name is "4chan".

Anyone who believes that old comment on /pol/ means anything should be checked for an extra chromosome.

What part of "Pizzagate is real" do you not understand?

4chan made a fan fiction about Trump having golden shower sex orgies in Prague,

which includes peeing on the bed in which the Obamas were going to sleep in the next night.

They sent that story to anti-trump columnist Rick Wilson,

who listend-and-believed that it was true and sent it to the CIA,

who also listen-and-believed it was true

and included it in their report on (((dangerous))) Trump-Russia connections!!!

It's hilarious.

(and if the CIA had checked their records beforehand, they'd found out Trump has never even been to Prague.)


Basically this confirms that the left is even easier to dupe with fake news than the right.

see e.g. /u/Velvet_Llama, /u/DonaldBlythe

Maybe if you keep commenting blind praise for Trump he will pee on you.

nah, he'll pay a hooker to pee on your bed while you're out with your mom for tendies.

You're the one who looks up to chubby reality tv stars. Normal successful people don't actually spend their time spouting 4chan memes. But you do. Hopefully by the time you can vote in two election cycles you'll have grown up a little.

Someone is salty.

Oh keep talking and maybe Trump will pee on you. You're going to regret your Trump support after your basement dwelling lifestyle leads to a cheeto induced heart attack and you can't afford to pay the bill.

Lol still salty.

I actually have real health insurance and don't need to rely on government handouts.

Ahh so you're 12 years old and still under mommy's healtcare.

Projection much 😂😂😂😂😂

yeah, you really seem normal and successful. (you don't)

CIA

the left

wew lad

It's almost hilarious how pathetic he is.

Obama:

  • One wife and respects the sanctity of marriage

  • Very articulate and with an immense grasp of knowledge and was even editor of the Harvard Law Review

  • Came in as president elect with a +41 net approval rating

  • Healthy and attractive

  • Large hands

  • Zen like demeanor that can only be born from a Hawaiian

  • Fanbase online is mostly successful attractive people

  • Experts in most fields respect him (economists, scientists, health care professionals)

  • Doesn't want to have sex with his own children

  • Doesn't bully people and doesn't cry about being a victim

  • Dedicated the last 8 years to improving America

Trump:

  • Two soon to be three failed marriages, a bastard, countless affairs, and admitted sexual assault of married women

  • Speaks at a fourth grade level and often makes spelling errors when crafting 140 character tweets

  • Will come in as president elect with a - 14 approval rating

  • Looks like a rotting pumpkin fucked a clown based scarecrow and the baby went on to binge eat at McDonalds

  • Tiny hands

  • Emotional maturity of a 12 year old girl

  • Fanbase online is mostly virginal basement dwellers worried that blacks and muslims are going to steal the girl they creep online away

  • Professionals can't decide whether he's batshit insane or just a moron

  • Is obsessed with fucking his daughter Ivanka

  • Is a yuuge bigoted bully that also has a very yuuuge victim complex

  • Dedicated the last 8 years to finding Obamas birth certificate and shitty reality tv

trumps also gonna be a bad president

Don't say that. r/the_donald told me we can't be weary about his proposed policies that have been proven aa trash because he hasn't implemented them yet.

It's not important whether or not his proposed policies will be disastrous because he's not going to uphold his campaign promises. Did you really think the Republicans would allow him to introduce fiscal stimulus through government spending? This is the GOP, we're talking about. They've been talking shit about Keynesianism since FDR.

He doesn't seem willing to play ball with them on a few thing. So a (second) battle between him and actual conservatives seems inevitable. Especially since his main goal in life is to bed Putin. It'd also explain his strong preference eastern European girls. He probably imagines Melania is Putin in drag every night.

Maybe he wanted to be a president to see if CIA have a putin body doublr just in case. Then as a president he could order the body double to piss on him and fullfill his fantasies. 🤔

Weary or wary

Goddamn it get it together

Tiny hands

If he personally responded to your quote this would be the single thing he focused on.

You remember me, possibly, as a man with small hands.Yeah, you think..,you think, "He had small hands." Do you remember that? What you remember is false. Yup. Big, masculine. My hands tell a story of greatness.

tbh I'm obsessed with fucking Ivanka too

are u donald

She is quite a looker, I'd hit it, if she agrees to it.

You forgot "fired from NBC."

You forgot "winner" tho

Is obsessed with fucking his daughter Ivanka

Me too, I want to drink daddy's sloppy seconds from baby Trump's cunny.

I definitely would have voted for him if I was old enough.

Obama

  • Eroded the constitution but still remained likable

  • Cares about his country despite being born in Kenya

Trump

  • Literal definition of a lolcow

  • Will probably be impeached in two years

:^)

why couldn't it have been r kelly :(

give us

Wait, I thought that was meme magic?

It is meme magic. Do you remember what Pepe was doing in the comic that started it all?

Taking a big leak with his pants around his ankles.

Exactly! And saying "feels good man"!

How could Donald J. Trump possibly not secretly be into watersports?

IF R.Kelly can come back from a pee sex scandal so can Trump.

Well. R Kelly has talent. Thats the difference.

Hey are you telling me Trumps ability to bankrupt his own companies isn't a talent?

I don't know. I wish I had the talent to turn a multimillion dollar company into a multibillion dollar one. Didn't only like 6 business of his even declare bankruptcy out of like 500? That's pretty impressive under the economic climate over the past 30 years.

Dude is in debt for 1.5 billion dollars yet he is a master business man.k.

Source?

Just like a person having debt left on their car or home. This isn't really news. Businesses also have debt also. You know that, right?

Do you have any idea what "equity" is?

definitely not, probably doesnt even know the word

When you're that rich, isn't debt pretty much profit?

...no.

That depends entirely on how well the debt is performing.

Holy shit are you telling me what was hundred million dollar real estate in New York in the 60s/70s is now worth 3 billion ? Such great business acumen and you 6 v 500 isn't a tired disproven talking point.

Now tell me how his attempted battle with the NFL was actually genius and smart business even even the waterboys told him it was retarded.

If Trump can drop a hot single like Ignition then I might just forgive him.

Imagine how Hillary feels right now, losing to Trump and then reading these tweets

brutal

Literally the worst presidential candidate in history. Lost to Trump. I hope Hillary tries to run again in 2020, just for laughs.

pls no

She'll have to live life knowing she lost to this. Despite it being "her turn", a reality tv star with the temperament of a teenager beat her. Must suck tbhqfhaksl

a reality tv star with the temperament of a teenager toddler

FTFY

toddlers sleep a lot though

it's poetic justice in a way lol

Imagine how Hillary feels right now, losing to Trump and then reading these tweets

Imagine how Hillary feels, knowing she could have thrown literally any insult out there and Trump would've ALL CAPS'd his rage all over the place, spaghetti everywhere.

nice damage control, doesn't change the fact she lost to a game show host

sad

I'm not American, I get to laugh at everyone involved, but mostly at you for choosing a Orang-utan-In-Chief.

I chose Bernie

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE

That's the one good thing about Trump winning the election. It showed Hillary she wasn't entitled to the presidency, and that rigging the primary was a huge mistake.

Well, one good thing besides killing TPP, that is.

Sounds like his diaper needs changing.

Or perhaps it's too dry.

Seems like something he'd be into. But for real, I just looked at his twitter. So is he going to start acting presidential ever?

no way

"Shut the fuck up, you fat retard!"

-The President of the United States

start acting presidential ever?

You mean like, getting White House interns to blow him and that sort of stuff?

He and Pence are gonna run a train Jlaw.

yeah i'd expect them to have no taste

I'd fuck her just for those solid C's she got hidden.

kys

At least Bill acted consensually.

She was a CHILD*

(*women are children until 30)

If there's grass on the field...

as long as we're willing to ignore the massive power imbalance?

being billionaire: gold diggers everywhere that let you grab their pussies

being president: infinite supply of interns willing to let you put a cigar in their pussy.

for some reason merely mentioning the first one in the great thing about private conversation is basically rape, whereas actually doing the second one is consensual not-sexual-relations-with-that-woman :)

but he also grabbed a lot of pussies :/

he didnt just mention it

fake news

When you hear the word "presidential", you think of Bill Clinton?

how else do you make other presidents look good without setting the bar so low?

It's always fun reminding people Clinton was emulating his idol, JFK, who rape raped women in the oval office.

Wow, he rape raped them? Is that even worse than regular raping them?

Well actually I think of Lincoln

Probably not, unless he gets cyberbullied enough that he emotionally breaks and just mindlessly acts as a Republican puppet for the rest of his term.

Trump is actually a Dubya plant. He's supposed to spare him of the legacy of worst president alive.

Funny, I thought Jimmy Carter had that one covered for every other president elected during his lifetime.

Carter managed to turn his reputation around as a humanitarian. Hell even Nixon did it as an elder statesman. But considering Trump is a medically obese 70 year old with the mentallity of a 12 year old junkie then he'll probably die without turning it around. Even if he lives another 50 years.

Oh, I agree Jimmy Carter really did a lot of good for the world (with a few exceptions, like rubber-stamping elections for tyrants now and again) after his presidency, but as far as terrible presidencies go his is still the absolute bottom of the barrel. I think you have to go all the way back to Hoover to find one that was worse.

you don't judge presidencies based on what they did after.

You do judge personal reputations and respect though.

Speak for yourself.

So is he going to start acting presidential ever?

When he becomes the president wouldn't anything he does by default be presidential?

4 year old's temper tantrums will technically be considered presidential, what a time to be alive.

So is he going to start acting presidential ever?

That is the beauty of it. 10 days from now he will be president, and so by definition his behavior will be "presidential." This gives the rest of us plebs cover to act like shits and simply say "I'm emulating the most powerful man on earth" if anybody tries to call us on it.

Lol at thinking the Trump trolls will try emulating his antics away from their computer safe spaces.

Do you really doubt the power of autism? One guy tried to preach the truth of pizzagate during a Catholic New Years Mass. This would hardly be a stretch.

The peeing explains his skin tone.

No it doesn't. It explains why his hair is that off colour. His skin tone is just the result of tanning with leftover KFC grease.

What is this all about?

Theres total proof that Hillary is an assasin that runs a pedojoint in the basement of a basementless popular restaurant but there is no proof that Trump is a scumbag even if it's caught on video.

  • Triggered Trumpkins trying to talk trash

Don't forget all the satanic lesbian sex she had to influence women to vote.

Not just Hillary, but Trump was the main voice of the birther witchhunt. The report probably isn't true (although I wouldn't be surprised if he's done some weird shit with hookers), but I'm loving the irony of Donald now being at the center of these irrational shitstorms. The presidency is going to break Trump, I can't wait.

this is the best day of my life

he's melting down with the grace of my 55 year old aunt

Cumskins like Trump do this because they want to be yellow; Asians are superior.

Big if tru /u/SSA12 or whatever the fuck

What account is that anti western cosplay guy on now? I want to ping him to this thread.

huge if factual

large if accurate

Substantial is veritable

Of a substantial importance if the above is verified.

How do you make a Trump cocktail? 1 part Russian vodka, 4 parts hooker urine.

Is this going to become anything or is this just stupid horse shit I can ignore?

It's about as credible as the pozzagate/email scandal stuff so do with that what you will.

I heard that the hacker named 4chan is responsible for this rumor; can anyone confirm or deny??

Me

Pissbaby Manchild BTFO

The one time Trump didn't try to stiff his contractors, they pissed all over him.

"I only hire the best Russian hookers - nobody finds better hookers than me. And they always have the best piss. That whole room smelled like asparagus. I did it and made Putin pay for it". - Donald Trump 1/10/2017

This dude is the most epic of lolcows. Like, CWC would never come close to the Cheeto.

Please tell me Kiwifarms has a megathread about him. And that chan-like board as well

It's a strange world we live in where CWC is less autistic than Trump.

Oh he's pissed:

Intelligence agencies should never have allowed this fake news to "leak" into the public. One last shot at me.Are we living in Nazi Germany?

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/819164172781060096

I mean if we were wouldn't...wouldnt that actually make him Hitler?

Me now: No way Trump coasts through the presidency with tweets

Me in a year: No way Trump launches all these nukes

Me in 2024: No way I'm handing that feral lookin motherfucker my only potato