A humble proposal

48  2017-01-11 by Velvet_Llama

Ok, the agendaposting and threads about trump are starting to get out of hand. Clearly you knuckle dragging, mouth breathing, window licking fetal alcohol cases can't regulate your autismal spasms for more than 5 fucking minutes. You need to be controlled like the stupid animals you are. Since your intellectual, physical, and cultural superiors (ie me) can't be there to properly beat you into submission, we need to establish some sort of filter for your shit.

Here is what I propose. I will set up a paypal account. Anyone wanting to submit a thread about trump or engage in agenda posting must first deposit $10 into the account. We will call this the stupid asshole tax. I alone will have access to the account and I will use the funds as I see fit. Based on the rate of worthless posting here, I believe I will have enough money to legally buy several of you in no time at all.

72 comments

n/a  Pablopubes 2017-01-11

Seems fair, tbqhwyf

n/a  clintonbro 2017-01-11

to be quite honest with you fam!

n/a  mRNA28 2017-01-11

#omwtfyb

n/a  riemann1413 2017-01-11

user reports:
1: white people nonsense

n/a  Eternal_Mr_Bones 2017-01-11

Tbf we are the best at buying people.

n/a  Velvet_Llama 2017-01-11

I will not use the money to fund the mayocide. The great cleansing of white filth must be an organic, grassroots effort.

n/a  riemann1413 2017-01-11

i've always thought a bake sale would be nice.

n/a  Velvet_Llama 2017-01-11

Free cookie if you hang a mayoscum corpse from a streetlight.

n/a  ComedicSans 2017-01-11

I will not use the money to fund the mayocide.

Y not tho.

n/a  Malevolent_USB_Drive 2017-01-11

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE

n/a  WearyTunes 2017-01-11

lmao /u/WearyTunes some seatsniffer thinks you mod here

ha, like any party would consent to that arrangement

n/a  riemann1413 2017-01-11

the idea you might not consent makes it so much more erotic for me

n/a  WearyTunes 2017-01-11

i'm blaming your degeneracy on trump

ps pls don't grab me by the permies

n/a  riemann1413 2017-01-11

Trump wishes he's been pissed on as much as me.

n/a  WearyTunes 2017-01-11

skin tone verification pics or gtfo

n/a  riemann1413 2017-01-11

but then all the rich posters (i.e. just me) will have a monopoly on the agendas posted. do you really want to live in that world?

n/a  Velvet_Llama 2017-01-11

Absolutely.

n/a  riemann1413 2017-01-11

well then

n/a  MasterLawlzReborn 2017-01-11

You aren't even the wealthiest mod

n/a  riemann1413 2017-01-11

yeah but /u/xNotch doesn't post here

n/a  MasterLawlzReborn 2017-01-11

Milo probably also makes more than you, he has book deals and is paid to give speeches

n/a  riemann1413 2017-01-11

and he robbed all those white boys of their "Privilege Grant" money. i wouldn't be surprised in the slightest. i actually forgot he was a mod here.

however, we'll see in the long run, once he gets slightly older and significantly uglier and enough colleges get sick of the hassle of hosting his little lecture series

n/a  MasterLawlzReborn 2017-01-11

I sorta hope he stays around a while just cause all the drama he creates and attracts is entertaining but I feel like getting booted off Twitter is going to be a hard blow to his career

n/a  YourGayOpinion 2017-01-11

I think the massive pre-orders on his book will keep him in hairgel and pearls for a while.

n/a  atakeonhooper 2017-01-11

a fool and his money

n/a  riemann1413 2017-01-11

i have a feeling he'll stick around for some time more, but his appeal seems pretty temporary. can't be that many years before someone else realizes what a cash cow acting like that is and does it better

n/a  subpoutine 2017-01-11

Let's just hope he's not another Ann Coulter who's pushing 60 and $10 million.

n/a  xNotch 2017-01-11

Why would I post in a fake news CNN clone like /r/drama?

n/a  riemann1413 2017-01-11

sexual satisfaction?

n/a  Brumaired 2017-01-11

You're rich? Damn, sorry I called you a bitch the other day.

j/k you're still a bitch.

n/a  cimarafa 2017-01-11

What's ur profession or is it inherited?

n/a  riemann1413 2017-01-11

i shilled for hill, but now i'm an official russian disinfo agent

no inheritance here

n/a  MasterLawlzReborn 2017-01-11

How much did correct the record pay you?

n/a  riemann1413 2017-01-11

$420.69 per memepost

n/a  MasterLawlzReborn 2017-01-11

dank

n/a  riemann1413 2017-01-11

XD memes XD

n/a  snallygaster 2017-01-11

xDDDDDD

n/a  riemann1413 2017-01-11

snally, ur my fav poster. make /u/geraldo42 give you that gold

n/a  squarefaces 2017-01-11

(((mods))) keeping gold big surprise smh

n/a  riemann1413 2017-01-11

you got yours, fuck off and die

n/a  squarefaces 2017-01-11

I'm not sure what you mean but I'll delete my account to be safe

n/a  snallygaster 2017-01-11

I don't need gold, I'm a reddit ascetic!

n/a  Mircabre 2017-01-11

I am but a simple farmer tending to my memes

n/a  Hitlery_Clinton 2017-01-11

I think we found the Hillary voter

n/a  TotesMessenger 2017-01-11

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)

n/a  Malevolent_USB_Drive 2017-01-11

fuck the police

n/a  respaaaaaj 2017-01-11

No if this gets set up it should go to a poster the subreddit actually likes

n/a  geraldo42 2017-01-11

I like velvet_llama

n/a  riemann1413 2017-01-11

V_L is the best poster we ever had

n/a  Velvet_Llama 2017-01-11

V_L is a funny way to spell 'Gregory_Chants.' RIP in Pepperoni Firetruck.

n/a  riemann1413 2017-01-11

Greg was the OG. got bored of it after that tbh

n/a  Velvet_Llama 2017-01-11

Truth

n/a  Velvet_Llama 2017-01-11

I like you too friend.

n/a  ChipChippersonAMA 2017-01-11

I like velvet_llama Same

n/a  Velvet_Llama 2017-01-11

Atta boy chippah

n/a  ComedicSans 2017-01-11

You're my favourite.

n/a  Malevolent_USB_Drive 2017-01-11

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE

n/a  Phony_Bennett 2017-01-11

velvet_llama FTW

n/a  Mircabre 2017-01-11

Pay for my gas money /r/drama

n/a  DuckHuntHotDog 2017-01-11

No taxation without representation. #donttredonme

n/a  Nechaev 2017-01-11

Are we living in Nazi Germany?

n/a  ComedicSans 2017-01-11

The President elect's henchmen are threatening to physically remove journalists if they ask questions he doesn't like. So a solid maybe?

n/a  Malevolent_USB_Drive 2017-01-11

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE

n/a  OnlyRacistOnReddit 2017-01-11

What was the purpose of electing Trump if we can't enjoy the drama?

n/a  atakeonhooper 2017-01-11

To get rid of the Mexicans

n/a  OnlyRacistOnReddit 2017-01-11

I thought it was to keep out the mooslims

n/a  glmox 2017-01-11

a superior humble proposal for you cucks

n/a  subpoutine 2017-01-11

How 'bout knot.

n/a  mikerhoa 2017-01-11

Do you accept EBT swipes?

n/a  bleasehalb 2017-01-11

This place is like a hardcore concert we don't come here to listen to what's up front we come here to autistically flail around to hurt people.

n/a  ChipChippersonAMA 2017-01-11

https://youtu.be/whyJCcjf6to

n/a  lvl99SkrubRekker 2017-01-11

Lol no

n/a  HaudNomen 2017-01-11

Wait, I'm confused. /u/Velvet_Llama, will you put money into your own account when you agenda-post, or somebody else's?

Because you not agenda-posting would remove at least 85% of this garbage.

n/a  Velvet_Llama 2017-01-11

Wrong.