It certainly helps in the situation where, e.g., the crazy guy is totally fine with your ordering a shot, but would punch you out and try to drag you home by the hair caveman style if you tried to call the police. Can you really not see the benefit of being able to communicate with someone without the crazy dangerous person knowing what you're saying?
/u/infanticideaquifer besides this situation being rarer than a terrorist attack do you really think that's going to happen in a bar?
That was an example. I think that situations where someone is that aggressive happen occasionally. There's a whole spectrum of situations where you would have reasons of various strength for wanting to communicate without being understood by your creepy date, though. Is it really hard to believe that people don't want to have to say "I am afraid of you and am now going to terminate our association" straight to someone's face??
Is it really hard to believe that people don't want to have to say "I am afraid of you and am now going to terminate our association" straight to someone's face??
Yes.
If you think you're in danger just tell someone without the stupid code bullshit. This just makes it seem like women are so fragile and weak that we need to have systems in place to help them do everything.
Also, I'm pretty sure getting punched and dragged by the hair is already code for "this guy is making me uncomfortable". If you're consistently finding yourself on dates with crazy dangerous people maybe you should stop hooking up with people from r/socialism
getting punched and dragged by the hair is already code for "this guy is making me uncomfortable"
Yes but, by the time it gets this far, the patriarchy levels in the room are too high. All the men are standing and applauding - while also stroking their gargantuan erections, beating their chests like silverback gorillas and defending the portrayal of women in video games online.
Yeah I bartend and no secret codes are needed. If a guy or girl comes to the bar and says somebody is making them feel legitimately unsafe whether I think it's bullshit or not I've told the bouncers to keep an eye on the situation just to be safe cause that is their job. They'd also gladly escort anybody to a cab or their car if they havnt been drinking for some weird reason. These systems they suggest just seem like bullshit virtue pandering that won't actually do anything.
Ah yes, if you just communicate skillfully enough with the deranged and violent person bent on having his way with you, they'll understand that they should leave you alone. Why didn't I think of that?
Seems like it would be a good idea to get to know someone first before dating them. Maybe through social activities, coworkers, classmates, etc instead of relying on a cold algorithm to pair you up with someone.
Maybe go on first dates with complete strangers if you insist on doing such a thing in very public places where as a woman all you'd have to do is scream for help and people will aid you?
I'm still not taking a date anywhere that's out to cockblock me. This is a retarded thing to do, because it services the person who isn't actually paying, and if invoked, would likely result in the other customer refusing to pay for the service.
I'd guess that this will be invoked more often because a server doesn't like the guy, than because his date is genuinely in danger. People are a shitload pettier than you all seem to think
Is it really hard to believe that people don't want to have to say "I am afraid of you and am now going to terminate our association" straight to someone's face??
It's hard to believe that, as usual, some people want to find away to make others have to deal with their own lack of spine.
I'm doing p well, and as far as the comment, I think date rape happens WAY more than most people know. I think this is truly one of those things some men will never understand, because they've never lived as a woman. I'm not trying to say one gender is better or anything, just that I think this vulnerability is something most men just don't understand. And that's okay, my white girl ass will never understand the experiences of a black dude because I'm not a black dude. I dunno how else to put it.
Thanks for your input and I'm glad you're doing well. I hope /u/headasplodes sees this and maybe you /u/Zachums and /u/Riemann1413 can have a nice discussion here about anything at all!
It's really strange how popular clubbing, partying, drinking, and dating sites are when there are so many incessant men out there just waiting to abuse women.
It's almost as if the danger overblown by a delusional mentally unstable segment of people who just cannot grasp reality.
unappealing women get real bitter and start making shit up to justify their world view
"omg i hate all men, but thats ok because theyre all just waiting for a chance to rape me! its certainly not because they dont pay me any attention"
then they have to start pretending that normal women that interact with men normally must secretly hate themselves because otherwise their ideas dont make any sense
its the equivalent to extreme incel types, except probably worse because society coddles them and tells them theyre right so they get all bold and shit
He's writing his weird ramblings from his cuck shed. He can't admit to being upset about being forced out of his house while his wife nails someone else, so he'll attack people who dare say anything bad about feminism.
When this guy finally loses it, there will be a mega-thread of drama.
the cia is legit pretty bad, but i do remember finding it funny how much people trust them now out of nowhere so id lean toward there being some shitposting
i guess theres always something that could be unappealing that isnt immediately apparent, like theyre a bit mental and people end up leaving them or something
Might be a little bit of selection bias as well. Think about the type of woman who makes references to "intersectional feminism" in her profile and what effect that filter would have on her dating prospects.
oh yeah its definitely the extreme examples that come to the forefront because theyre louder about it and have no shame, i think that applies to most groups
what effect that filter would have on her dating prospects.
i really dont think they realise how big that is, popular culture dictates that everyone loves feminism and its just about equality how could you not!? why youd have to be an mra
If I can be 100% serious for a second, this kind if thing can come in handy. A woman who has been assaulted could be trying to be extra cautious as to not put herself into a situation with a man she feels iffy about. I can think of plenty of circumstances where something like this can come in handy. It's not about making all men out to be bad, it's about being vigilant about the that there are men out there that will do bad things without a second though.
Well when you have legitimately unstable sexist people like u/sugarfreemaplecookie seriously thinking there are hordes of rapists and cult members, all incidentally men, and spreading this shit around, it's not surprising that lots of people think that way.
I like the part where it's presumed that the kind of psychopaths that would be violently aggressive and perhaps even stalk someone to the bathroom, are somehow never going to decipher a grade-school code word, even when it's publicized in mainstream media.
Yeah if it's known enough to all woman to be of any damn use then men will know it as well unless all woman are batshit enough to treat every single man in their life as a rapist and keeps the phrase a secret, except to bartenders who are known for keeping secrets...
Why do north american feminists always make it sound like going on a bad date has to be handled just like a hostage situation? Same issue with trannies who don't want to disclose they have a dick when going on a date and pretending to be a woman "out of fear for their lives".
Coming soon : a SWAT team dedicated to extracting women who regret choosing the wrong guy on Tinder.
It must be really hard to realize that maybe, some men realize that women are capable of respecting boundaries and the real fears that some women have.
I mean, I am trying to understand what rationality would cause an immediately defensive persona to emerge over courtship in this day and age. Is this how the west transitions into its own dwindling population crisis the same way Japan and Korea have become?
96 comments
n/a SnapshillBot 2017-01-15
Buzzword is, itself, a buzzword now.
Snapshots:
I am a bot. (Info / Contact)
n/a headasplodes 2017-01-15
/u/infanticideaquifer besides this situation being rarer than a terrorist attack do you really think that's going to happen in a bar?
n/a InfanticideAquifer 2017-01-15
That was an example. I think that situations where someone is that aggressive happen occasionally. There's a whole spectrum of situations where you would have reasons of various strength for wanting to communicate without being understood by your creepy date, though. Is it really hard to believe that people don't want to have to say "I am afraid of you and am now going to terminate our association" straight to someone's face??
n/a SpookyMood 2017-01-15
Yeah you are right.
I think this is a good thing and you gotta be really bitter and cynical to see it as a bad thing.
Or just sexist.
n/a headasplodes 2017-01-15
Yes.
If you think you're in danger just tell someone without the stupid code bullshit. This just makes it seem like women are so fragile and weak that we need to have systems in place to help them do everything.
n/a dermanus 2017-01-15
Also, I'm pretty sure getting punched and dragged by the hair is already code for "this guy is making me uncomfortable". If you're consistently finding yourself on dates with crazy dangerous people maybe you should stop hooking up with people from r/socialism
n/a zahlman 2017-01-15
notbad.png
n/a image_linker_bot 2017-01-15
notbad.png
Feedback welcome at /r/image_linker_bot | Disable with "ignore me" via reply or PM
n/a ____________13 2017-01-15
Yes but, by the time it gets this far, the patriarchy levels in the room are too high. All the men are standing and applauding - while also stroking their gargantuan erections, beating their chests like silverback gorillas and defending the portrayal of women in video games online.
n/a coronaas 2017-01-15
n/a freet0 2017-01-15
Or just go up to the bar and say "hey this guy is a crazy man who's gonna murder me so please call the cops" instead of some stupid code bullshit.
n/a salami_inferno 2017-01-15
Yeah I bartend and no secret codes are needed. If a guy or girl comes to the bar and says somebody is making them feel legitimately unsafe whether I think it's bullshit or not I've told the bouncers to keep an eye on the situation just to be safe cause that is their job. They'd also gladly escort anybody to a cab or their car if they havnt been drinking for some weird reason. These systems they suggest just seem like bullshit virtue pandering that won't actually do anything.
n/a Nomadlads 2017-01-15
I'm sure it depends on the bar, how often do issues like that happen?
n/a legionallofus 2017-01-15
No one would ever say that sentence unless they had such poor social skills as to make me wonder how they'd be on a date in the first place.
Normal people can communicate on the shockingly deep level aside from just words.
But if most of your interpersonal interactions are over the internet, I could see the issue: go outside.
n/a InfanticideAquifer 2017-01-15
Ah yes, if you just communicate skillfully enough with the deranged and violent person bent on having his way with you, they'll understand that they should leave you alone. Why didn't I think of that?
n/a legionallofus 2017-01-15
Probably because you have very poor people skills.
n/a lifesbrink 2017-01-15
Probably because you fail to comprehend the simplicity of safety when in a crowded place.
n/a odintal 2017-01-15
Why are you on a date with a deranged violent person to begin with?
n/a InfanticideAquifer 2017-01-15
The entire premise of this scenario is that you matched with someone on Tinder and this is your first date. You haven't had a chance to vet them yet.
People sometimes date people they don't already know well. If anything it's more common...
n/a odintal 2017-01-15
Seems like it would be a good idea to get to know someone first before dating them. Maybe through social activities, coworkers, classmates, etc instead of relying on a cold algorithm to pair you up with someone.
n/a salami_inferno 2017-01-15
Maybe go on first dates with complete strangers if you insist on doing such a thing in very public places where as a woman all you'd have to do is scream for help and people will aid you?
n/a throwaway11272016 2017-01-15
Maybe if you don't dress like a slut it won't happen
n/a FuckURedditor 2017-01-15
I'm still not taking a date anywhere that's out to cockblock me. This is a retarded thing to do, because it services the person who isn't actually paying, and if invoked, would likely result in the other customer refusing to pay for the service.
I'd guess that this will be invoked more often because a server doesn't like the guy, than because his date is genuinely in danger. People are a shitload pettier than you all seem to think
n/a JohnTheOrc 2017-01-15
I'm starting to think you might actually be a retard.
n/a Somenakedguy 2017-01-15
I thought the SJWs were supposed to have the victim fantasies?
n/a TheMauveHand 2017-01-15
It's hard to believe that, as usual, some people want to find away to make others have to deal with their own lack of spine.
n/a InfanticideAquifer 2017-01-15
Well, I'm glad we don't agree. I try not to have much common ground with Nazis.
Why is that even a flair option...
n/a StrategicSarcasm 2017-01-15
You got a problem with Nazis?
n/a TheMauveHand 2017-01-15
You're not from 'round here, are you?
n/a InfanticideAquifer 2017-01-15
No, I was summed here via username mention.
n/a TonyFuckingDanza 2017-01-15
Hey just out of curiosity: What color is your hair dyed, and approximately how much do you weigh?
n/a ThyDocco 2017-01-15
/u/Riemann1413, /u/Zachums and /u/DornishRedViper thoughts on this comment?
How are you all today?
n/a bleasehalb 2017-01-15
What are you trying to summon, the contrarian power rangers?
n/a ThyDocco 2017-01-15
I like their content so does /u/headasplodes
Thinking of starting a fan club together
n/a bleasehalb 2017-01-15
Boi your just tryna call backup cause /u/captainpriapism is getting away with TiAing without a license.
n/a ThyDocco 2017-01-15
How dare you
The fanclub is pure and above all else
n/a bleasehalb 2017-01-15
Their egos don't need to grow any larger pls stop.
n/a ThyDocco 2017-01-15
I'd pay good money to see two of them get larger.
n/a xjapxn 2017-01-15
Well now you're gonna have to say which two
We gon hurt some feelings tonight boi
n/a OniTan 2017-01-15
Should have went with Power Rangers.
n/a DornishRedViper 2017-01-15
I'm doing p well, and as far as the comment, I think date rape happens WAY more than most people know. I think this is truly one of those things some men will never understand, because they've never lived as a woman. I'm not trying to say one gender is better or anything, just that I think this vulnerability is something most men just don't understand. And that's okay, my white girl ass will never understand the experiences of a black dude because I'm not a black dude. I dunno how else to put it.
n/a ThyDocco 2017-01-15
Thanks for your input and I'm glad you're doing well. I hope /u/headasplodes sees this and maybe you /u/Zachums and /u/Riemann1413 can have a nice discussion here about anything at all!
n/a OniTan 2017-01-15
Not only that, don't you think crazy men will learn the codes?
n/a Tar-mairon 2017-01-15
/u/sugarfreemaplecook and /u/-JesusChrysler should just get it over with and have disgusting fat people sex.
n/a mydramaaccount 2017-01-15
It's really strange how popular clubbing, partying, drinking, and dating sites are when there are so many incessant men out there just waiting to abuse women.
It's almost as if the danger overblown by a delusional mentally unstable segment of people who just cannot grasp reality.
n/a captainpriapism 2017-01-15
its just justification for prejudices
unappealing women get real bitter and start making shit up to justify their world view
"omg i hate all men, but thats ok because theyre all just waiting for a chance to rape me! its certainly not because they dont pay me any attention"
then they have to start pretending that normal women that interact with men normally must secretly hate themselves because otherwise their ideas dont make any sense
its the equivalent to extreme incel types, except probably worse because society coddles them and tells them theyre right so they get all bold and shit
n/a ThyDocco 2017-01-15
> psychoanalyzing a group as being bitter and making shit up to justify their views when 90% of your existence revolves around gamblygooners
n/a captainpriapism 2017-01-15
lol youre not even making sense now whats the deal buddy
n/a ThyDocco 2017-01-15
Not making sense? So you do have learning difficulties! Thanks for letting me know!
n/a captainpriapism 2017-01-15
i love the downvoting too you must be pissed
is this seriously because of the tranny stuff because lol its not that deep
n/a ThyDocco 2017-01-15
Wow this isn't about you mate
n/a FuckURedditor 2017-01-15
This one gets pissy whenever feminism is criticized. Loves to dish it out, can't ever seem to take it.
Typical, really.
n/a The_Frown_Inverter 2017-01-15
He's writing his weird ramblings from his cuck shed. He can't admit to being upset about being forced out of his house while his wife nails someone else, so he'll attack people who dare say anything bad about feminism.
When this guy finally loses it, there will be a mega-thread of drama.
n/a throwaway11272016 2017-01-15
That's where you're wrong, buckaroo
n/a subpoutine 2017-01-15
ignoring _lilp's hard work
n/a Assy-McGee 2017-01-15
you're not getting that custom flair no matter how much you suck her masculine clitoris, breh
n/a subpoutine 2017-01-15
MRW the proprietary flair clique bullies me.
n/a Nomadlads 2017-01-15
I feel like Stallman is a very sad man.
n/a Deefian 2017-01-15
>2016 + 1
>not having a custom flair
I would just end it tbh famalam smh
n/a raps_caucasionally 2017-01-15
Do I have a flair here?
n/a raps_caucasionally 2017-01-15
Damn
n/a xjapxn 2017-01-15
This one was almost funny
n/a Val_P 2017-01-15
The fuck's a gamblygooner?
n/a Matthew1J 2017-01-15
gamergater
n/a legionallofus 2017-01-15
Your post sorta makes sense but then I remember the crazy political beliefs you have and makes me think meh, maybe you're retarded
n/a captainpriapism 2017-01-15
or, maybe im right about all that other stuff too
or maybe my posts are a mish mash of what i really believe and what i think will make any given person angry because its funny
for example, trump is the best and pizzagate is real
n/a legionallofus 2017-01-15
I heard the CIA was behind everything
n/a captainpriapism 2017-01-15
the cia is legit pretty bad, but i do remember finding it funny how much people trust them now out of nowhere so id lean toward there being some shitposting
i dont really keep track of what i write
n/a legionallofus 2017-01-15
lol
n/a Ranilen 2017-01-15
We all know who is really behind everything.
n/a IDFSHILL 2017-01-15
I've seen some pretty attractive femtards with this mentality.
I'm not so sure it can be simplified to this extent, there's something else.
n/a captainpriapism 2017-01-15
i guess theres always something that could be unappealing that isnt immediately apparent, like theyre a bit mental and people end up leaving them or something
n/a SmurfPrivilege 2017-01-15
Might be a little bit of selection bias as well. Think about the type of woman who makes references to "intersectional feminism" in her profile and what effect that filter would have on her dating prospects.
n/a captainpriapism 2017-01-15
oh yeah its definitely the extreme examples that come to the forefront because theyre louder about it and have no shame, i think that applies to most groups
i really dont think they realise how big that is, popular culture dictates that everyone loves feminism and its just about equality how could you not!? why youd have to be an mra
n/a DornishRedViper 2017-01-15
If I can be 100% serious for a second, this kind if thing can come in handy. A woman who has been assaulted could be trying to be extra cautious as to not put herself into a situation with a man she feels iffy about. I can think of plenty of circumstances where something like this can come in handy. It's not about making all men out to be bad, it's about being vigilant about the that there are men out there that will do bad things without a second though.
n/a lionbaiter 2017-01-15
Fuck off you stupid white Knight.
n/a OniTan 2017-01-15
Never!
n/a captainpriapism 2017-01-15
fair enough i guess but that seems like a good way to end up isolated and alone
if we didnt take risks wed never do anything ever
n/a REDDIT_IN_MOTION 2017-01-15
It's easier to hate someone when it's all their fault
n/a lifesbrink 2017-01-15
Well when you have legitimately unstable sexist people like u/sugarfreemaplecookie seriously thinking there are hordes of rapists and cult members, all incidentally men, and spreading this shit around, it's not surprising that lots of people think that way.
Also, sugar, stop being misogynistic.
n/a rdramathrowaway6969 2017-01-15
It's almost as if, and seems like your statement describes a substantial chunk of the entire human population.
n/a captainpriapism 2017-01-15
youd need a railroad to move a lot of feminists efficiently
theyre FAT get it
n/a ThyDocco 2017-01-15
> implying you would confront anyone ever
n/a RaRaRaV1 2017-01-15
Moooom they're called GRAPHIC NOVELS
n/a ThyDocco 2017-01-15
well actually it depends, some of them are comic books and some are graphic novels
most of the ones I have are superior manga tyvm
n/a clintonbro 2017-01-15
> implying being confrontational is a good thing
it's 2017 can we stop using toxic masculinity? k thx
n/a ThyDocco 2017-01-15
wow did you just confront me?
you're disgusting
n/a clintonbro 2017-01-15
> Implying I'm hypocritical
CAN WE NOT DO THAT?
gee is that too hard for ur aggressive manbrain?
n/a ThyDocco 2017-01-15
I'M REPORTING YOU
n/a YourGayOpinion 2017-01-15
What if you got to wear armor. White armor.
n/a lol-da-mar-s-cool 2017-01-15
>Tfw goobergaters perpetually make being a chick unsafe
n/a bat_mayn 2017-01-15
Need to bring back asylums and institutions to treat female hysteria tbh.
Maybe Mike "Fruit Juicer" Pence can get on top of this.
n/a atakeonhooper 2017-01-15
This is like a Handmaids Tale thing right
And someone makes a joke about which is more offensive: underground femaleroad or underground frailroad.
I unironically love that book
n/a zahlman 2017-01-15
I like the part where it's presumed that the kind of psychopaths that would be violently aggressive and perhaps even stalk someone to the bathroom, are somehow never going to decipher a grade-school code word, even when it's publicized in mainstream media.
n/a ____________13 2017-01-15
What they don't know is there's another sign in the men's bathroom with a list of rohypnol-based shots.
And they keep the white knights from finding out about it by placing the sign near the urinals.
n/a salami_inferno 2017-01-15
Yeah if it's known enough to all woman to be of any damn use then men will know it as well unless all woman are batshit enough to treat every single man in their life as a rapist and keeps the phrase a secret, except to bartenders who are known for keeping secrets...
n/a BannedFromImzy 2017-01-15
Why do north american feminists always make it sound like going on a bad date has to be handled just like a hostage situation? Same issue with trannies who don't want to disclose they have a dick when going on a date and pretending to be a woman "out of fear for their lives".
Coming soon : a SWAT team dedicated to extracting women who regret choosing the wrong guy on Tinder.
n/a TonyFuckingDanza 2017-01-15
Because they've never actually been on a date.
n/a seminalthrowaway4541 2017-01-15
It must be really hard to realize that maybe, some men realize that women are capable of respecting boundaries and the real fears that some women have.
I mean, I am trying to understand what rationality would cause an immediately defensive persona to emerge over courtship in this day and age. Is this how the west transitions into its own dwindling population crisis the same way Japan and Korea have become?
Hold me /u/VelvetLlama
n/a double-happiness 2017-01-15
If I have a bad date with somebody I'm gonna want that Angel Shot to include vodka and rohypnol so I can't remember any of it. Problem solvado.
n/a BpshCo 2017-01-15
This is retarded as fuck.