This hot girl in my office always wears yoga pants without a long shirt to cover her butt. I normally stare for more than 5 seconds...Sometimes, when I see her get up to go somewhere, I also get up just to follow and get a glimpse of those two puppies wrestling underneath the bedsheets as she walks to the bathroom. I'll probably bury her out by the creek. Why do people think I'm a creep?
Three feet, preferably near some trees to protect against erosion over the decades.
If you want to have some fun, you can chop off a part of their body, grind it into fertilizer, and use that to grow some potted plants. You can then send those plants to the family as a gift. People usually neglect gifted plants, so in a way, they're letting their families down all over again.
Never visited. Just responded to your post in my inbox. Oh look... green pastures and sunny skies! Wait... that's how they get you, isn't it? Better walk towards that crack house if I wanna find my way back to /r/Teleshits.
You can then send those plants to the family as a gift. People usually neglect gifted plants, so in a way, they're letting their loved one down all over again
The best way is as tall as the corpse is, plus a foot or 2. Dig the hole straight down into the ground (they go headfirst), an alternative is at a horizontal slant if digging down straight is too arduous.
Give the body a yogurt enema, and head down into the hold they go. Gravity will pull the guts and muck that seeps out onto their face, makind ID more difficult. (Best to remove teeth as well.)
Finish the hole by erecting a little cross or stone with a pet name on it, and maybe leave a little collar as a memorial, which will make anyone curious less likely to investigate.
Necklaces, earrings, assorted crafts! Or, another fun option is to grind them up and mix them in with the cocaine you serve at parties. Really, there are many fun options and its up to personal preference.
Bodies rot more quickly if you don't bury them. If you're deep in the forest, just let it sit on top. Between fungus, bugs and rats, it won't last long.
If it's deep in the forest, nobody will find it. Rangers only check paths for the most part.
A body rots in less than a week topside (in the summer). It takes several years to fully decay in the ground. The big problem is bones, which have no major 'devouring' lifeforms in the dirt, but there are many (most notably: rodents) that can eat them topside.
First, be smart from the very beginning. Pulverize all teeth, burn off fingerprints, and disfigure the face. Forcing a DNA test to establish identity (if it ever comes to that) might introduce the legal/forensic hurdle that saves your ass down the line. An unidentifiable body can, in a pinch, be dressed in thrift store clothes and dropped in a bad part of town where the police are less likely to question it. I don't reommend that disposal method, I'm just saying an easily identifiable body is an even bigger threat than the opposite.
Assuming you have it inside a house where you can work on it a bit, the first thing you want to do is drain it of fluids. This will make it easier to cut up, and slow decomposition a little bit. The best way to do this quick and dirty is to perforate the body with a pointed knife, and then perform CPR on it. Cut the fronts of the thighs deep, diagonally, to slit the femoral arteries. Then pump the chest. The valves in the heart will still work when dead, and the springback of the ribcage can put apply a fair amount of suction to the artria. Do this in a tub. Plug the drain, and mingle lots of bleach with the bodily fluids before unplugging the drain to empty the tub. This should help control the stench of death, which would otherwise reek from your gutter gratings. Do everything you can to control odors. Plug in an ionizer, burn candles, leave bowls of baking soda everywhere. Ventilate the room in the middle of the night, but otherwise keep it closed. Keep the body under a plastic sheet while it's in the tub.
If you want to bury, I recommend seperating the body into several parts, and burying them seperately. For one thing, it's easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. this reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave.
That is the one thing you can't do inside the doors of your house, and represents a vulnerable moment you want to keep brief, under 2 hours. Do it between 3 and 5 am. It's also less likely for someone to call the police if their dog digs up some chunk of meat, than if they dig up an enitre body. They may assume it's an animal carcass disfigured by decomposition, and leave it alone or dispose of it. It's also more likely that the dog will consume all of it before anyone knows the difference. A whole skeleton is another story. You can cut a body into 6 pieces faster than you think. It's not much different than boning a chicken, but it takes more work, a big knife, and time. A hammer will be useful for pulverizing joints or driving the knife deep where it doesn't want to go. Anyway it's wise to crush as much of the skeleton as you can along the way. It will aid in making the body less identifiable for what it is as it decomposes.
Don't return to the same site 6 times for 6 burials.You'll attract suspicion from anyone nearby, and you'll wind up placing the body parts close enough together to be found by any serious investigation. Put them in plastic bags with lots of bleach, and store in a freezer until you have enough time to bury them all.
Depending on what tools you have available, you may find that you're get really good at deconstructing the body. You might prefer to slowly sprinkle it down a drain without leaving your house. This avoids the long-term risk of discovery associated with burial, and the overwhelming supply of bacteria in a sewer accellerates deconomposition, whil e providing a convenient cover smell.
Truly grinding down a body takes a lot more work, and you run the risk of fouling your plumbing and calling in a plumber. So don't try it unless you know how to clear bones and meat out of a drainpipe. A good food processor can be useful. But don't over-use it, or power drills or saws. They're noisy and they attract attention. And forget the kitchen sink. It's better if you actually remove one of the toilets in your house from its base, which will give you direct access to one of the largest sewer pipes that enters your house. Follow any disposals with lots of bleach and then run the water for 5 or 10 minutes on top of that. And plug that pipe when you're not using it, to prevent any sewer gasses from backing up into your house. Usually, a U-trap inside the toilet does that for you.
You've got a good idea, bad execution. The ocean's a bad place to dispose a body, people are always searching the ocean, especially for things people dumped. And the body parts can wash up. Similarly, unless you live in Florida (in which case, why are you living in Florida?), or live on a farm, you won't have easy access to anything big enough that's capable of eating a human.
No, what you gotta do is keep the body in your house and steadily chop off bits which you then get rid of in a unique and creative way. Burn the fingers to a crisp and leave them in a dumpster by a restaurant, de-bone the legs, and give the bones to local stray dogs and throw the rest in a vat of acidic material like lemon juice until they decompose. Or maybe it wouldn't work, you can tweak it. The important thing is to ensure none of the evidence will be considered evidence, and even if it does it won't be traced back to you.
The head and heart, of course, you keep. After a few days the cops will stop investigating, so you can feel safe keeping those around. You keep the head in a box, proudly displayed in a secret room nobody will wander into. You want to cook and eat the heart, so you can have a part of her love within you at all times.
Rats aren't going to eat the skeleton and few people have access to pigs.
Just drive out into the middle of nowhere and bury it or take a boat out into deep water, wrap the body in a tarp and weigh it down then dump it overboard.
Yoga pants are perfectly acceptable in a workplace if your workplace is a gym. In an office though... if the guys are walking around in wife beaters and thongs then I can see it fitting the culture. Otherwise that girl is going to a) have every ugly woman in the office out for blood and b) going to have every single promotion, raise etc chalked up to her fucking someone higher up. Nobody wins.
When I was 19 I wore a short skirt to my very casual job at a call centre and the uggos were out for blood. I also had a land whale of a boss tell me I couldn't wear tank tops in the summer because "my arm skin offended her" that's a verbatim quote.......she ended up stealing a bunch of shit from the employers and got an African guy to knock her up to avoid jail time.....I shit you not.
I've seen it happen in pretty much every place I've worked - never seen an instance of sexual discrimination by a man, but hoooooly shit the ugly chicks and the over 40s would shred those girls until they were broken.
A woman at my very-conservative office, already notorious for wearing short, skin-tight club dresses, has since moved on to yoga pants with high heels.
I didn't even know that was a thing, but she's a trailblazer, I guess.
I'm just preparing myself for the day that someone reports her to HR, and when that day comes, I'm going to have to find the snitch and strangle them to death while shouting "WHYYYYYY".
You can also post a complaint to GamerGhazi for example, about how some conservative MRA caused you such deprivation (except you should be really subtle about the actual reason you're upset, to avoid triggering them).
I wear nothing but yoga pants, leggings or sweatpants to work. If it don't have an elastic waist it isn't touching my ass. The dress code only states nothing offensive and closed toe shoes. I work in a factory though, not an office
I hear you. Where I work I have a work provided t-shirt to wear, plus jeans or dark pants. I started with jeggings, but now I just wear leggings pretty much every day. I tried wearing actual jeans the other day but they just felt so bad, didn't even get out of the house and I went to change
Boobs are awesome too, seriously if you dont like boobs there is something wrong with you (like being gay [not that theres anything wrong with that unlessyouhateboobs ]) noodles delenda est.
Women really are incapable of covertly checking out men. I guess since there's little social stigma attached to it they've never had the need to learn.
Eh, they come in a much wider variety, they're only see through if you buy them too small and skin tight on purpose. hell, you can get them fleece-lined and shit. Still not ever appropriate office wear though.
A bigger gal I work with wears them, I think probably it fits more comfortable around the waist areas and some other areas that jeans/pants might not give room? Because they kind of form against the body, from what I can tell.
If I was the boss and the hot girl wearing yoga pants said someone was staring at her and making her feel uncomfortable, I would fire him on the spot. I'm not letting one guy ruin it for the rest of us.
I got some really nice yoga pants at Costco. $10 each, and they're fucking great. Nice and thick, matte black, reversible, long.
You can bet your less-than-pleasing ass I'm wearing those to work on days when the dress code is 'business casual' instead of just casual. They look like slacks, but my ass is bangin'. They look nicer than my real slacks, and super comfy.
You just try kicking my ass in these pants! You're going to have your foot bounce off my springy spry yoga pant clad kiester right back into your kisser!
Don't be bitter just because you look like ten pounds of shit poured into a five pound sack, sweetheart. Just get out and go for a walk once in awhile. You'll get there. I believe in you.
No thanks, all that meth has clearly destroyed what small amount of usable brain matter you have left. Besides, I never take advice from whores, especially ones that admit it. Ewww
I'm pretty sure HR could do fuck all to prove I looked at someone or something.
I don't think you know what "at will" means.
Does it mean "we can hypothetically fire the female employee 'at will' and without cause since it's harder to find a replacement for the male employee?"
187 comments
n/a SnapshillBot 2017-01-26
Did you know that the bathtub was first marketed in north america as a horse trough and dog scalder?
Snapshots:
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n/a it-will-eat-you 2017-01-26
This is why fate has brought me here today.
n/a HodorTheDoorHolder 2017-01-26
Reported for not being about Trump.
n/a FTFallen 2017-01-26
This hot girl in my office always wears yoga pants without a long shirt to cover her butt. I normally stare for more than 5 seconds...Sometimes, when I see her get up to go somewhere, I also get up just to follow and get a glimpse of those two puppies wrestling underneath the bedsheets as she walks to the bathroom. I'll probably bury her out by the creek. Why do people think I'm a creep?
n/a MooseHeckler 2017-01-26
I am slow clapping you just can't see it.
n/a StopTalkingOK 2017-01-26
Le le ftfy
n/a MooseHeckler 2017-01-26
Le what ever works. I am /u/FTfallen is beyond attractive.
n/a Ultrashitpost 2017-01-26
Never bury a corpse near a moving body of water. The water erosion makes it highly likely that the corpse will be exposed.
Either feed it to omnivores (rats, pigs) or hypercarnivores (crocodiles), bury it deep in a forest, or chop it up and dump it in the ocean.
n/a Mircabre 2017-01-26
How deep would you recommend
n/a wwyzzerdd 2017-01-26
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xUynRdzzsM
n/a Ultrashitpost 2017-01-26
Three feet, preferably near some trees to protect against erosion over the decades.
If you want to have some fun, you can chop off a part of their body, grind it into fertilizer, and use that to grow some potted plants. You can then send those plants to the family as a gift. People usually neglect gifted plants, so in a way, they're letting their families down all over again.
n/a bytewake 2017-01-26
pls don't give /u/Mircabre any ideas. she scares me enough as is
n/a Mircabre 2017-01-26
Eh that's all standard fair
n/a bytewake 2017-01-26
ಠ_ಠ
n/a Mircabre 2017-01-26
Ever fed someone to a bear
n/a bytewake 2017-01-26
I thought pigs were the goto choice for feeding bodies to
n/a TotallyNotAlligator 2017-01-26
Only when Hannibal Lector is involved
n/a Mircabre 2017-01-26
I don't have pigs and they're not wild in my parts
n/a bytewake 2017-01-26
tbh I want a pet pig. they are pretty cute
but you have a pet bear?
n/a Mircabre 2017-01-26
There are bears around.
n/a bytewake 2017-01-26
well if you ever feed me to a bear at least have it be a grizzly or something. I don't want to be fed to some pansy ass black bear
n/a Itstheusual 2017-01-26
That's surprising, tbh. You strike me as the kind of lady that would have wild pigs in her parts.
n/a Mircabre 2017-01-26
I'm not Texan, I'm a yooper
n/a Fiery1Phoenix 2017-01-26
Standard fare
n/a defiantleek 2017-01-26
But having fun is how I got the body in the first place.
n/a Sergant_Stinkmeaner 2017-01-26
I too, browse /r/bertstrips.
n/a Ultrashitpost 2017-01-26
It's great.
You've done a great job, /u/Valladian
n/a Valladian 2017-01-26
I certainly try.
n/a Ultrashitpost 2017-01-26
Oh no, now you're stuck in /r/drama
n/a Valladian 2017-01-26
Never visited. Just responded to your post in my inbox. Oh look... green pastures and sunny skies! Wait... that's how they get you, isn't it? Better walk towards that crack house if I wanna find my way back to /r/Teleshits.
n/a Ikea_Man 2017-01-26
Holy shit this is dark, but absolutely hilarious
n/a Ultrashitpost 2017-01-26
I got it from this Bert strip
It's a great sub and i wish more people visited it.
n/a Ikea_Man 2017-01-26
and subbed
n/a TheDocks 2017-01-26
You just made my week.
n/a Nomadlads 2017-01-26
If you live somewhere that floods you should probably go deeper.
n/a LadyVetinari 2017-01-26
The best way is as tall as the corpse is, plus a foot or 2. Dig the hole straight down into the ground (they go headfirst), an alternative is at a horizontal slant if digging down straight is too arduous.
Give the body a yogurt enema, and head down into the hold they go. Gravity will pull the guts and muck that seeps out onto their face, makind ID more difficult. (Best to remove teeth as well.)
Finish the hole by erecting a little cross or stone with a pet name on it, and maybe leave a little collar as a memorial, which will make anyone curious less likely to investigate.
n/a Mircabre 2017-01-26
What do you do with the teeth?
n/a LadyVetinari 2017-01-26
Necklaces, earrings, assorted crafts! Or, another fun option is to grind them up and mix them in with the cocaine you serve at parties. Really, there are many fun options and its up to personal preference.
n/a SuchSpookySkeltal 2017-01-26
Wow /u/Mircabre you have found a kindred spirit
n/a Mircabre 2017-01-26
I actually found one already on drama
n/a Assy-McGee 2017-01-26
Jewdank RIP
n/a Mircabre 2017-01-26
Nope!
n/a Duncan_Idaho_Jr 2017-01-26
bone shards are actually pretty dangerous, thatd be some lethal cocaine.
n/a LadyVetinari 2017-01-26
Much safer than brown-brown though, I learned my lesson with that shit!
n/a Itstheusual 2017-01-26
What kind of lame fucking parties do you go to.
n/a Pretentious_Nazi 2017-01-26
I shouldn't be surprised, but this subreddit has a disturbing number of psychos.
n/a Toscacake 2017-01-26
Takes one to know one I guess
n/a LadyVetinari 2017-01-26
I know right?
n/a LemonScore 2017-01-26
no u
n/a Baial 2017-01-26
Nah, gotta bury below frost line. Try to avoid clay.
n/a crefakis 2017-01-26
Balls
n/a FuckURedditor 2017-01-26
Bodies rot more quickly if you don't bury them. If you're deep in the forest, just let it sit on top. Between fungus, bugs and rats, it won't last long.
n/a Ultrashitpost 2017-01-26
But then you're at a great risk of having people find it.
Besides, a lot of bugs are subterranean as well.
n/a Alexlincoln2 2017-01-26
The soil biota isn't very deep, 1 to 2 feet max.
n/a ConvertsToMetric 2017-01-26
Mouseover or click to view the metric conversion for this comment
n/a Ultrashitpost 2017-01-26
Oh fuck another bot
Go fuck yourself, tin can
n/a going_for_a_wank 2017-01-26
/r/botsrights
n/a ConvertsToMetric 2017-01-26
U w0t m8
n/a Ultrashitpost 2017-01-26
oh shit a sentient bot
n/a toynbeeidea16 2017-01-26
Doesn't look like anything to me.
n/a TotesMessenger 2017-01-26
I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:
If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)
n/a it-will-eat-you 2017-01-26
Can'tStopHELP!!!!!
n/a Ultrashitpost 2017-01-26
good point. What you can do is mix a lot of leaves with the soil to create a warm breeding ground for bacteria, insects and worms.
n/a 2Cthulhu4Scthulhu 2017-01-26
Lazy ass bugs can fuck right off.
This warm breeding ground is for me and m'corpse bby.
n/a FuckURedditor 2017-01-26
No. That's what slicing the belly open does.
n/a FuckURedditor 2017-01-26
If it's deep in the forest, nobody will find it. Rangers only check paths for the most part.
A body rots in less than a week topside (in the summer). It takes several years to fully decay in the ground. The big problem is bones, which have no major 'devouring' lifeforms in the dirt, but there are many (most notably: rodents) that can eat them topside.
n/a Ultrashitpost 2017-01-26
You can circumvent this by dumping it in the ocean. Ocean bottom-dwelling worms specialize in consuming bones.
n/a baaaaby 2017-01-26
not everyone lives on a coast this comment is ableist
n/a OldOrder 2017-01-26
Not everyone who lives on the coast has a fucking boat. This comment is classist.
n/a Ylajali_2002 2017-01-26
Black people are scared of water. This comment is racist.
n/a TotallyNotAlligator 2017-01-26
I hear gators will eat a body too. Not that I know anything about that.
n/a Ultrashitpost 2017-01-26
I tried it in Disneyworld. Pushed a kid into a gator pool, but the gator just drowned him and pissed off.
n/a TotallyNotAlligator 2017-01-26
He must've been full
n/a Ikea_Man 2017-01-26
furiously takes notes in blood-stained notebook
n/a OldOrder 2017-01-26
How do I become a hypercarnivore?
n/a Ultrashitpost 2017-01-26
https://www.uscis.gov/us-citizenship
n/a ironicshitpostr 2017-01-26
First, be smart from the very beginning. Pulverize all teeth, burn off fingerprints, and disfigure the face. Forcing a DNA test to establish identity (if it ever comes to that) might introduce the legal/forensic hurdle that saves your ass down the line. An unidentifiable body can, in a pinch, be dressed in thrift store clothes and dropped in a bad part of town where the police are less likely to question it. I don't reommend that disposal method, I'm just saying an easily identifiable body is an even bigger threat than the opposite.
Assuming you have it inside a house where you can work on it a bit, the first thing you want to do is drain it of fluids. This will make it easier to cut up, and slow decomposition a little bit. The best way to do this quick and dirty is to perforate the body with a pointed knife, and then perform CPR on it. Cut the fronts of the thighs deep, diagonally, to slit the femoral arteries. Then pump the chest. The valves in the heart will still work when dead, and the springback of the ribcage can put apply a fair amount of suction to the artria. Do this in a tub. Plug the drain, and mingle lots of bleach with the bodily fluids before unplugging the drain to empty the tub. This should help control the stench of death, which would otherwise reek from your gutter gratings. Do everything you can to control odors. Plug in an ionizer, burn candles, leave bowls of baking soda everywhere. Ventilate the room in the middle of the night, but otherwise keep it closed. Keep the body under a plastic sheet while it's in the tub.
If you want to bury, I recommend seperating the body into several parts, and burying them seperately. For one thing, it's easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. this reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave. That is the one thing you can't do inside the doors of your house, and represents a vulnerable moment you want to keep brief, under 2 hours. Do it between 3 and 5 am. It's also less likely for someone to call the police if their dog digs up some chunk of meat, than if they dig up an enitre body. They may assume it's an animal carcass disfigured by decomposition, and leave it alone or dispose of it. It's also more likely that the dog will consume all of it before anyone knows the difference. A whole skeleton is another story. You can cut a body into 6 pieces faster than you think. It's not much different than boning a chicken, but it takes more work, a big knife, and time. A hammer will be useful for pulverizing joints or driving the knife deep where it doesn't want to go. Anyway it's wise to crush as much of the skeleton as you can along the way. It will aid in making the body less identifiable for what it is as it decomposes.
Don't return to the same site 6 times for 6 burials.You'll attract suspicion from anyone nearby, and you'll wind up placing the body parts close enough together to be found by any serious investigation. Put them in plastic bags with lots of bleach, and store in a freezer until you have enough time to bury them all.
Depending on what tools you have available, you may find that you're get really good at deconstructing the body. You might prefer to slowly sprinkle it down a drain without leaving your house. This avoids the long-term risk of discovery associated with burial, and the overwhelming supply of bacteria in a sewer accellerates deconomposition, whil e providing a convenient cover smell.
Truly grinding down a body takes a lot more work, and you run the risk of fouling your plumbing and calling in a plumber. So don't try it unless you know how to clear bones and meat out of a drainpipe. A good food processor can be useful. But don't over-use it, or power drills or saws. They're noisy and they attract attention. And forget the kitchen sink. It's better if you actually remove one of the toilets in your house from its base, which will give you direct access to one of the largest sewer pipes that enters your house. Follow any disposals with lots of bleach and then run the water for 5 or 10 minutes on top of that. And plug that pipe when you're not using it, to prevent any sewer gasses from backing up into your house. Usually, a U-trap inside the toilet does that for you.
n/a 978897465312986415 2017-01-26
That's not real
n/a Ultrashitpost 2017-01-26
Where is your God now?
n/a 978897465312986415 2017-01-26
I legit did not know that cats were called felids.
n/a StrategicSarcasm 2017-01-26
You've got a good idea, bad execution. The ocean's a bad place to dispose a body, people are always searching the ocean, especially for things people dumped. And the body parts can wash up. Similarly, unless you live in Florida (in which case, why are you living in Florida?), or live on a farm, you won't have easy access to anything big enough that's capable of eating a human.
No, what you gotta do is keep the body in your house and steadily chop off bits which you then get rid of in a unique and creative way. Burn the fingers to a crisp and leave them in a dumpster by a restaurant, de-bone the legs, and give the bones to local stray dogs and throw the rest in a vat of acidic material like lemon juice until they decompose. Or maybe it wouldn't work, you can tweak it. The important thing is to ensure none of the evidence will be considered evidence, and even if it does it won't be traced back to you.
The head and heart, of course, you keep. After a few days the cops will stop investigating, so you can feel safe keeping those around. You keep the head in a box, proudly displayed in a secret room nobody will wander into. You want to cook and eat the heart, so you can have a part of her love within you at all times.
n/a LemonScore 2017-01-26
Rats aren't going to eat the skeleton and few people have access to pigs.
Just drive out into the middle of nowhere and bury it or take a boat out into deep water, wrap the body in a tarp and weigh it down then dump it overboard.
n/a Vakieh 2017-01-26
Yoga pants are perfectly acceptable in a workplace if your workplace is a gym. In an office though... if the guys are walking around in wife beaters and thongs then I can see it fitting the culture. Otherwise that girl is going to a) have every ugly woman in the office out for blood and b) going to have every single promotion, raise etc chalked up to her fucking someone higher up. Nobody wins.
n/a itsaboyffxiv 2017-01-26
It's definitely not business casual.
If someone with a nice ass is wearing yoga pants, I'll glance and appreciate. No biggie.
n/a Chavril 2017-01-26
Yoga pants are bras for the buttcheeks.
n/a fernguts 2017-01-26
Yes, they can hide a multitude of sins. ;)
n/a TonyFuckingDanza 2017-01-26
I've never seen a man wearing a wife beater and a thong.
Would you mind taking a picture of your dad so I can get a better image?
n/a Vakieh 2017-01-26
Seppos get out.
n/a nanonan 2017-01-26
Could be worse. He might think they're jandals.
n/a FullyNude13YrGirl 2017-01-26
Those are flip flop shoes. Wrong link?
n/a Vakieh 2017-01-26
Those are thongs. Note the s.
n/a FullyNude13YrGirl 2017-01-26
I have never heard flip flops referred to as a piece of lingerie.
n/a Vakieh 2017-01-26
If I find you've ignored my instructions for seppos to get out I'm gonna be really disappointed.
n/a chanilastname 2017-01-26
When I was 19 I wore a short skirt to my very casual job at a call centre and the uggos were out for blood. I also had a land whale of a boss tell me I couldn't wear tank tops in the summer because "my arm skin offended her" that's a verbatim quote.......she ended up stealing a bunch of shit from the employers and got an African guy to knock her up to avoid jail time.....I shit you not.
n/a Vakieh 2017-01-26
I've seen it happen in pretty much every place I've worked - never seen an instance of sexual discrimination by a man, but hoooooly shit the ugly chicks and the over 40s would shred those girls until they were broken.
n/a OniTan 2017-01-26
This is why feminism fails.
n/a SoButtscrewed 2017-01-26
Where the fuck are you working where women are wearing yoga pants?
n/a Ultrashitpost 2017-01-26
A gym
n/a SaroDarksbane 2017-01-26
A woman at my very-conservative office, already notorious for wearing short, skin-tight club dresses, has since moved on to yoga pants with high heels.
I didn't even know that was a thing, but she's a trailblazer, I guess.
n/a SpookyMood 2017-01-26
That is seriously hot
n/a SaroDarksbane 2017-01-26
I'm just preparing myself for the day that someone reports her to HR, and when that day comes, I'm going to have to find the snitch and strangle them to death while shouting "WHYYYYYY".
n/a Works_of_memercy 2017-01-26
You can also post a complaint to GamerGhazi for example, about how some conservative MRA caused you such deprivation (except you should be really subtle about the actual reason you're upset, to avoid triggering them).
n/a SaroDarksbane 2017-01-26
The right of women to wear yoga pants with high-heels is truly an issue that can bring both feminists and MRAs together.
n/a pol__invictus__risen 2017-01-26
The feminists want you to gouge your own eyes out for looking at them, though
n/a SaroDarksbane 2017-01-26
thatsmyfetish.jpg
n/a pol__invictus__risen 2017-01-26
What good is a fetish you can only do twice?
n/a thirdegree 2017-01-26
This is r/drama, sex is a once in a lifetime opportunity anyway.
n/a Chicup 2017-01-26
It'll be a fat or old chick. Probably both.
n/a Ikea_Man 2017-01-26
give me company phone # i'll complain for you
n/a BannedFromImzy 2017-01-26
Wait until she doesn't get the promotion she wants, and sues for discrimination and/or harassment.
n/a OniTan 2017-01-26
Next step in slutvolution: yoga short shorts.
n/a Ohnana_ 2017-01-26
Bicycle shorts. Been around for a while.
n/a bytewake 2017-01-26
I asked this in the SRD thread. my office is super lax and even we don't have yoga pants here
n/a SoButtscrewed 2017-01-26
Same. I have piercings and tattoos but God forbid the yoga pants.
n/a bytewake 2017-01-26
yep visible tattoos and piercings. plus my general work attire is jeans and a t shirt
n/a TotallyNotAlligator 2017-01-26
I work in a restaurant, Boh staff can wear them. The dudes can wear track pants so they can be comfy too.
n/a going_for_a_wank 2017-01-26
For anyone lucky enough to have never worked in a restaurant, BOH = back of house, any job where customers cannot see how disgusting you are
n/a cptAustria 2017-01-26
That seems fair
n/a SpankableGoose 2017-01-26
I wear them every day at work. I work in a lumber mill. No ones creepily staring though 😳
n/a Clark_Savage_Jr 2017-01-26
That's not proper PPE.
n/a SpankableGoose 2017-01-26
I work in the office.
n/a Ikea_Man 2017-01-26
/r/OSHA
n/a blueberries97 2017-01-26
I wear nothing but yoga pants, leggings or sweatpants to work. If it don't have an elastic waist it isn't touching my ass. The dress code only states nothing offensive and closed toe shoes. I work in a factory though, not an office
n/a SoButtscrewed 2017-01-26
hot damn
n/a blueberries97 2017-01-26
freethenipple
n/a _Notmy_realaccount_ 2017-01-26
I hear you. Where I work I have a work provided t-shirt to wear, plus jeans or dark pants. I started with jeggings, but now I just wear leggings pretty much every day. I tried wearing actual jeans the other day but they just felt so bad, didn't even get out of the house and I went to change
n/a presidenttrump_2016 2017-01-26
I worked in an office where one of the secretaries did.
In her defense, she was bad at her job and hot, so the attire definitely helped her keep her job.
n/a drvoke 2017-01-26
I mentioned to my wife how I've been staring at butts lately. Her response? "Yeah, I stare at butts sometimes, too."
I honestly think these are just completely broken people, mentally. Butts are awesome.
n/a Strephyl 2017-01-26
Do you have other imaginary pals?
n/a drvoke 2017-01-26
/r/nothingeverhappens
n/a Strephyl 2017-01-26
I'm just negging you
n/a pi_over_3 2017-01-26
I'm so hot for you right now.
n/a cleverseneca 2017-01-26
Boobs are awesome too, seriously if you dont like boobs there is something wrong with you (like being gay [not that theres anything wrong with that unlessyouhateboobs ]) noodles delenda est.
n/a reekybobby 2017-01-26
Even faggots like boobs.
n/a atakeonhooper 2017-01-26
I hope when I get married i'm happy enough to never have to post in /r/drama again
n/a drvoke 2017-01-26
In my defense, I only post on reddit when I'm at work.
n/a OldOrder 2017-01-26
Is your wife Tina?
n/a FuckURedditor 2017-01-26
Definitely inappropriate work attire, though. Most places I've worked wouldn't allow them.
n/a TotallyNotAlligator 2017-01-26
Yeah other than dog walking I can't think of a job where those are the ideal pants to wear. Comfy af though
n/a Toothpaste_Lover 2017-01-26
Yoga Instructor might be fair though to be fair
n/a shaneoffline 2017-01-26
Yoga pants make my wiener happy.
n/a SpookyMood 2017-01-26
Fucking Americans actually believe this shit
I cant count that insane amount of times I have seen chicks look at guys for a good amount of time.
What kind of prude sees harm in there?
n/a TotallyNotAlligator 2017-01-26
This is why you aren't getting laid dude
n/a SpookyMood 2017-01-26
but i am getting laid
n/a TotallyNotAlligator 2017-01-26
Did she consent?
n/a Mournhold 2017-01-26
The jury is still in deliberations.
n/a Sicarii__ 2017-01-26
Everyone knows a vital component of getting laid is never, ever looking at attractive women, because ??
n/a TotallyNotAlligator 2017-01-26
Don't be a creep who stares at women in public for an extended period of time and you have a better chance of getting laid
n/a Fucking_That_Chicken 2017-01-26
women are so 2016; r/MGTOWWOM is the future
n/a John_Ketch 2017-01-26
They're either militant feminists, religious puritans, or busybodies. I'm leaning to a mixture of 1 and 3.
n/a Ylajali_2002 2017-01-26
Women really are incapable of covertly checking out men. I guess since there's little social stigma attached to it they've never had the need to learn.
n/a OniTan 2017-01-26
Because they're usually with their friends laughing and proclaiming how "cute" he is. AKA group street harassment!
n/a going_for_a_wank 2017-01-26
/u/SAMSON_AITE
That's not very nice, but I hope you find yourself in a better place.
n/a SAMSON_AITE 2017-01-26
I imagine you have pink hair and are morbidly obese.
n/a Levy_Wilson 2017-01-26
Yoga pants are just slightly thicker pantyhose. It boggles my mind how they got so popular.
n/a TotallyNotAlligator 2017-01-26
Eh, they come in a much wider variety, they're only see through if you buy them too small and skin tight on purpose. hell, you can get them fleece-lined and shit. Still not ever appropriate office wear though.
n/a forgotacc 2017-01-26
A bigger gal I work with wears them, I think probably it fits more comfortable around the waist areas and some other areas that jeans/pants might not give room? Because they kind of form against the body, from what I can tell.
n/a GeoStarRunner 2017-01-26
If I was the boss and the hot girl wearing yoga pants said someone was staring at her and making her feel uncomfortable, I would fire him on the spot. I'm not letting one guy ruin it for the rest of us.
n/a PM_ME_HAIRLESS_CATS 2017-01-26
This shit is how mandatory dress codes end up getting enforced.
n/a serialflamingo 2017-01-26
I wish I had the butt for yoga pants :(
n/a jPaolo 2017-01-26
Buy push-up ones.
n/a NuclearSpaceLegos 2017-01-26
Do squats.
n/a anorganicbear 2017-01-26
Dressing in anything less than a full burka is basically taunting men into raping you tbh
n/a OniTan 2017-01-26
Currently pouring fuel on the fire.
n/a ApatheticAnarchy 2017-01-26
I got some really nice yoga pants at Costco. $10 each, and they're fucking great. Nice and thick, matte black, reversible, long.
You can bet your less-than-pleasing ass I'm wearing those to work on days when the dress code is 'business casual' instead of just casual. They look like slacks, but my ass is bangin'. They look nicer than my real slacks, and super comfy.
You can pry them from my cold dead ass cheeks.
n/a TotallyNotAlligator 2017-01-26
Bitch do not turn this into an ass fight, I will kick your and your white trash yoga pants ass
n/a ApatheticAnarchy 2017-01-26
You just try kicking my ass in these pants! You're going to have your foot bounce off my springy spry yoga pant clad kiester right back into your kisser!
n/a TotallyNotAlligator 2017-01-26
It's cute you think I'm joking.
Whore
n/a ApatheticAnarchy 2017-01-26
It's cute if you think you're not. Skank.
n/a TotallyNotAlligator 2017-01-26
nothing about your cheap trailer park pants is cute
Cum dumpster
n/a ApatheticAnarchy 2017-01-26
I've made money on this ass that would say otherwise.
n/a TotallyNotAlligator 2017-01-26
no that just confirms that you're a fucking whore
n/a ApatheticAnarchy 2017-01-26
Don't be bitter just because you look like ten pounds of shit poured into a five pound sack, sweetheart. Just get out and go for a walk once in awhile. You'll get there. I believe in you.
n/a TotallyNotAlligator 2017-01-26
No thanks, all that meth has clearly destroyed what small amount of usable brain matter you have left. Besides, I never take advice from whores, especially ones that admit it. Ewww
n/a ApatheticAnarchy 2017-01-26
Maybe you should, you might get some better results.
n/a TotallyNotAlligator 2017-01-26
no way, even if you weren't a meth'd out white trash skank, you're a /r/relationships commenter, so your opinions are clearly shit regardless.
n/a ApatheticAnarchy 2017-01-26
Your insecurities fuel me for yet another day.
n/a cleverseneca 2017-01-26
Kinda like my eyes when you wear them.
Noodles Delenda Est.
n/a ApatheticAnarchy 2017-01-26
If you're still staring at it, I might have an idea of how my ass cheeks got so cold and dead.
n/a OldOrder 2017-01-26
Skidmarks tho
n/a ApatheticAnarchy 2017-01-26
They're black.
n/a OldOrder 2017-01-26
If your poo blends into your black pants pls see a doctor
n/a ApatheticAnarchy 2017-01-26
It's ok, it's just the blood from the internal bleeding.
n/a OniTan 2017-01-26
Pics of your ass, please.
n/a ApatheticAnarchy 2017-01-26
(Y)
n/a OniTan 2017-01-26
Looks more like a woman with big tits showing cleavage.
n/a ApatheticAnarchy 2017-01-26
It can be two things!
n/a SmurfPrivilege 2017-01-26
Does it mean "we can hypothetically fire the female employee 'at will' and without cause since it's harder to find a replacement for the male employee?"
n/a anotheraccount323 2017-01-26
Why would they fire somebody who does the same work for only 77 cents on the dollar?
n/a neutralvoter 2017-01-26
it's like they are going for star trek the next generation garb and quit halfway through
n/a Ikea_Man 2017-01-26
When are men going to be allowed to Yoga pants in public?
SMASH THE MATRIARCHY