White people can't handle black God. Mayo cide now

61  2017-03-01 by Washington_vape

91 comments

I know now I'll never have any flair again and I've come to terms with that.

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This would be edgy in the 1950's

According to most posters it's edgy in current year as well

One white person reacts and suddenly it's "white fragility!" There's some irony here that I can't quite put my finger on.

It happens every single time though. Especially on BPT

Every single time.

BPT:White People can't handle any spice except pumpkin spice

Top Comment: WTF did you say to me you little bitch [...] navy seals [...] pathetic thing you call your life. Black people crime statistics. White genocide. European sharia. Tumblrrrrrrrrrr. Rahh. Triggered. Criminals who should all be shot!

I dunno. Seems easier just to type out the word nigger, imo.

That happens too sometimes.

It's more like:

BPT: White People can't handle any spice except pumpkin spice

Top 200 comments: lmaoooo bruh wypipo are fragile af.

But make a joke about fried chicken and the following chimpout is Completely Justified

chimpout

So edgy.

So fragile.

please don't go full planet of the apes on us fam

One white person reacts and suddenly it's "white fragility!" There's some irony here that I can't quite put my finger on.

This sounds like white fragility. You're gonna be first against the wall friendo

Y A K U B

A

K

U

B

Aren't standups supposed to be funny?

Also, we already had a black God in Bruce Almighty.

That sub is 100% unequivocally not funny.

It's like that one friend that tells unfunny jokes.

Instead of him understanding his jokes are bit bad.Instead he repeats himself with a louder voice until somebody fake laughs.

I actually spend a lot of time trying to be funny. If you could give me some pointers id appreciate it, thanks :-P

You should watch the R. Budd Dwyer video for tips

10/10

High quality bantz

It's a weird format for standup comedy. The whole point of standup is that the jokes land due to timing and vocal inflection. I would love to see a Louis C.K. post. It would be long-winded and unfunny as fuck.

I would love to see a Louis C.K. post

he's barely funny when I hear him speak.

yeah, i said it.

Say something about Bill Burr next!

ooo0o0o0o0o0o jeezus

my frequently drunk and stoned irish ex with anger problems liked him a lot. i assume because she was a female version of him.

Sherry's Berrrrrrrys

Zip...

...

...

...

...

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RECROOTA!

It's like someone took the famed humour of /r/funny and combined it with the reasoned calm discussion of /r/politics.

I don't remember people went crazy over Morgan Freeman being God. So I guess if God is really Black, most people wouldn't have a problem with that.

I hope that God is Asian, and has a 60-inch TV watching Black people's reaction when meeting God. Is this joke funny? No, I think it's trash. Not even 3amjoke worthy.

One was on a tv show the other is real. False equivalence.

Well people do get really worked up on how their favorite character is portrayed on TV, so I say it sort of works.

Ring ring doling Donghae elecom to haven. u wanna 1v1 i god in starcraft? My apm is insane >_<''

Not sure which is worse, a God forcing me to watch his Chinese cartoon, or a God forcing me to play Starcraft.

God loves pocky and Korean modeling magazines. Truth. Woke.

Also black people were invented by an asain scientist named Donghae Chu. After he crossed breeded an ape and two French men, he made the negro race. #Woke #StarcraftDayz

God loves pocky and Korean modeling magazines. Truth. Woke.

No wonder God was able to create Adam and Eve. He is a Korean himself.

an ape and two French men

That is some Chinese science, right there.

Ok but what if God is a ... woman?

Then I'm going to ask her why she lets her son mis-gender her for so long.

Yeah but that sub is 99% amatuer comics that are trying to get noticed so you aren't gonna find anything good there.

Lmao, get a load of this white boi

We're not mere 'gods.' We exist in multiple dimensions

Maybe you should have learned Ra's secrets by paying attention to the feeling in your hairconductors

Oh wait, you're a bunch of unevolved mayo monkies lmao

Just go hide in the shade and try not to get cracker cancer

It's not like you can regenerate without melanin Why do you think it's worth so much lmao?

Now fuck off, we're busy guarding the universe like we've been doing for the past 66 Trillion years

sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

This is amazing, subscribed!

That joke was funny tho.

Well thanks for letting me hear a white person's reaction to the joke.

As dramatic as this is, this is the single most epic burn i've seen on this website. Kudos.

Better punchline than the standup guy tbh

I hope you're joking, that was just the idiot's version of a Kafkatrap

I can't wait to hear what white people will say

white person saying stuff

just what a white person would say hurr durr

Not to mention it's a white guy responding to a hispanic.

"Only tumblereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenaas get all triggered by these jokes. I AM NOT TRIGGERED. SEE HOW TRIGGERED I NOT AM?!?"

shut the fuck up

TRIGGERED

Yeah that's really kind of a damned if you do damned if you don't scenario. Get offended by joke? LOL sensitive whitey. Mention you're not offended by the joke? LOL sensitive whitey. "Waiting for white people's reactions" is basically the equivalent of "does your mom know you're gay?" And of course she doesn't, I'm incredibly far in the closest.

Of course they could just not comment, but someone's always gonna comment. Come on, it's reddit. The most obvious bait in the world will always be taken by some moron.

not really a damned if you damned if you dont if youre really not damned if you just dont comment. its more of a damned if you do damned if you do something else

The only winning move is not to play. Or not be a disgusting cumskin.

thats not catchy tho

damned if you dont dont do, damnied if you do do

Why can't white people handle bantz?

Keep hanging around this thread and you just might find out

When the fuck are people just going to admit that it sucks when people talk shit and we don't like getting our feelings hurt instead of everyone pretending like they're bastions of stoic pride in a sea of whiny pissbabies?

making fun of people is cool

not if they're white "people"

then it's a fucking TRAGEDY

the only way i can fall asleep at night is by imagining someone crying because of what i said to them on the internet

soft

me strongest hu-man

need hurt other hu-man, show me stronger

mate with many fe-male

Some people are bullies.

Deal with it, nerd.

He had enough of that at school

I'm only a bastion of stoic pride ironically

Jesus what an AIDS dump of a sub, half of the posts are just unfunny social justice dicksucking and the other half is just regular unfunny.

People don't go to stand up to laugh anymore, they go to get angry.

I'm only ever offended by standupshots because of how unfunny absolutely every single post on there is. That's genuinely offensive (and I'm literally shaking from how unfunny everything is).

Well thanks for letting me hear a white person's reaction to the joke.

Hey /u/pm_me_to_logout, he wasn't reacting to the joke, he was reacting to your post. Retard.

ITT: white fragility

Okay nigger

Imagine being so retarded that you have to use "baby's first shock humor" for attention.

Getting mad over a word?

nigger fragility

And a low reading comprehension, how sad. Genuinely, do you have a handler help you from day to day or are you able to eat you spaghetti O's by yourself?

No, I have my whipped slaves spoon feed me my spaghetti O's.

Soooo the handler thing then?

[deleted]

lol wow man stop being so fragile

is everyone this fragile in africa

I'm actually built ford tough TYVM famalam

And privilege. All that delicious creamy privilege.

Don't you have to go to your sickle cell treatment?

TIL I'm Prodigy from Mobb Deep

Does he have sickle cell?

In a way I actually feel bad that their culture is such shit and their collective self-esteem so low that they literally have to make up nonsense stories about how they're a race of secret living gods to make up for it.

Then I stop feeling bad when I realize they legitimately have people like Ben Carson and Thomas Sowell to look up to but instead would rather believe they're a master race of ascending beings who can conduct pure energy through the power of melanin bred by a hydrocephalic alien.

wtf i hate reaction videos now

The sources of Western civilization extend from Ethiopia to Mauritania to Arkangelsk. Black gods are part of Western tradition from the beginning:

But now Lord Poseidon, the Earth-Shaker, returning from visiting Ethiopia, saw him far off from the Solymi range, as he came in sight over the water: and the god, angered in spirit, shook his head, and said to himself: ‘Well now, while I was among the Ethiopians, the gods have certainly changed their minds about Odysseus! Here he is, close to Phaeacian country, where he’s fated to escape his trials and tribulations. But I’ll give him his fill of trouble yet.’ -- Odyssey of Homer, Book 5

As a Christian in a very conservative area, I think I can safely say 1/3 to 1/2 of us already unconsciously visualize Him as Morgan Freeman.

It's Mayocide, not mayo cide.

/u/Spencerkingcomedy

Funny joke, I remember when about a hundred comedians before you did it.

Black God is like trumps hair, no-one is sure if it's real or not

If God is black, that at least explains why he's an absent father.

👍