ANNOUNCEMENT: The admins of reddit have released new guidelines that moderators must follow in order to avoid penalty. As such, we of /r/drama are changing our moderation style in order to conform to their requirements. Please see inside for more details.

69  2017-03-10 by snallygaster

133 comments

Neat.

Snapshots:

  1. This Post - archive.org, megalodon.jp, ceddit.com, archive.is*

I am a bot. (Info / Contact)

Jokes on you, I care

You're nobody?

He is a reddit mod..

Mod me and there will be an increase in people giving a shit.

This but n-notice me Senpai!

actually this is false this is some scary meme shit tbh

There is no cure for autism fellas. You can't just decide not to be retarded.

I'm wondering if this site sells any decent ammunition besides Hornady. The last time I got Federal Target in .22 from there, it kept backblasting on me and jamming my gun. Can't imagine what shitty TulAmmo would do.

I use SGammo and Ammunitionstore a lot. Both are about the same price, but if you buy in bulk like I do, SGammo has better shipping for stuff over 50lbs.

Mhm, thanks for the tip on SGammo. The website layout not sucking ass like half of the sites you find on Ammoseek is a nice plus, too. Been meaning to experiment with some different carry ammunition since I got my first 9mm a couple weeks ago. (M&P9 2.0, yee boy.)

You think you have it bad? Up here I pay nearly 50c per round for shitty steel cased 5.56

Life in mapleland is suffering

Meh. Not as awful as I'd expect; that's about how much .308 is down here.

Now, your magazine laws...my condolences.

Engage in Good Faith. Healthy communities are those where participants engage in good faith, and with an assumption of good faith for their co-collaborators. It’s not appropriate to attack your own users. Communities are active, in relation to their size and purpose, and where they are not, they are open to ideas and leadership that may make them more active.

I'M OUT YOU FUCKING CUNTS FUCK YOU

It’s not appropriate to attack your own users.

Well there goes Gamerghazi

Naw. Reddit will only apply those rules to subreddit's that don't tow their politics.

You sound booty blasted.

No he doesn't

I need to get booty blasted tbqh

i'll blast your booty with my sperm

Post somewhere else

Why

What the hell's Gamerghazi?

Edit: Now I know and a small part of me has died for that knowing...

It's leftism, but about video games so like three times more retarded and over-vaccinated.

It's leftism, but about video games

Sure, we can go with that story.

Found the video game.

FUCK YOU HARDER BITCH. I'M NOT READING ALL THAT SHIT.

mods = fags

niggerpenis

NoShittytvshowfromthe90swithstupidJoeyLawrencePenis

this does not seem to be written in good faith

delete this

It's kind of a really nice day...

he decides to walk around the block. On the side of the road, he sees a woman's tennis shoe filled with leaves, and it fills him with inexplicable sadness.

he walks down his side street, alongside the bridge, past the farmer's market, and back up the main thoroughfare.

...it's kind of a really nice day.

he decides to take a walk around the block. On the side of the road, he sees a woman's tennis shoe filled with leaves, and it fills him with inexplicable sadness.

he walks down his side street, alongside the bridge, past the farmer's market, and back up the main thoroughfare.

...it's kind of a really nice day.

there's a doctor on his answering machine. Has he been sick? A doctor carefully explains test results with him. He goes over numbers and information and Bill doesn't understand and reiterates things Bill doesn't remember. He is momentarily quiet.

And then tells Bill he doesn't have very long to live.

...It's kind of a really nice day.

He decides to walk around the block. On the side of the road, he sees a woman's tennis shoe filled with leaves, and it fills him with inexplicable sadness.

He walks down his side street and sees striking colors in the faces of the people around him. Details in these beautiful brick walls, and weeds, that he must have passed every day, but never noticed. The air smells different he's never noticed brighter somehow and the current under the bridge look strange and vivid and the sun is warming his face and the world is clumsy and beautiful and new

and its as though hes been sleepwalking asleep asleep for god knows how long and something has violently shaken him awake his bath mats....are gorgeous the grain patterns in his cheap wood cabinets vibrate something deep within him hes fascinated by the way his paper towel drinks water hes never really appreciated these things all this detail hes never noticed detail hes alive hes alive hes alive hes alive hes never noticed

the stars rattle him to the core all those lights have travelled for tens of millions of years hes alive to reach him at this moment how somewhere far away our own sun looks just like these how many of the stars no longer exist hes never noticed but whose ancient lights are just reaching him now an impression from a ghost an amazing infinite time machine every night above his head that hes ignored for most of his life.

He wants to stop people in the street and say, "isn't this amazing"

"Isn't everything amazing?"

Are you OK man?

i have a manuscript due in about a week

hahaha its not going well

May the God-Emperor lift you and inspire you and fill you with Super Male Vitality. We believe in you.

salutes

mostly it'll mean i'll probably get off reddit for the week when the real crunch time anxiety kicks in

Woah now, let's not make promises you can't keep.

How about: you'll only be on Reddit for half your day. That's a 50% decrease! Plenty of time then for other things like writing.

comfy :')

I appreciate your use of repetition as a literary device here.

This post kinda made me feel things.

it's from a don hertzfeldt movie

his best one, actually

It's Such a Beautiful Day

I just googled him and found out he did World of Tomorrow. I saw that a while back on Netflix and it made me kinda anxious.

But I liked it, so I'll watch this one. Thanks.

Oh, for once it's the "my anus is bleeding" guy and not the other old European director with a similar name that I always confuse!

that's a very good movie

Nice

Fucking hell, learn to use punctuation.

lmao

The lack of punctuation and grammatical consistency bothered me so much I spent five minutes proofreading it. A little difficult, because I'm trying to keep its stylistic, hipster, faux-deepness bullshit along with the corrections. So use this one, next time you shitpost this copypasta.

It's kind of a really nice day...

He decides to walk around the block. On the side of the road, he sees a woman's tennis shoe filled with leaves, and it fills him with inexplicable sadness.

He walks down his side street, alongside the bridge, past the farmer's market, and back up the main thoroughfare.

...it's kind of a really nice day.

He decides to take a walk around the block. On the side of the road, he sees a woman's tennis shoe filled with leaves, and it fills him with inexplicable sadness.

He walks down his side street, alongside the bridge, past the farmer's market, and back up the main thoroughfare.

...it's kind of a really nice day.

There's a doctor on his answering machine. Has he been sick? A doctor carefully explains his test results with him. He goes over numbers and information that Bill doesn't understand and reiterates things Bill doesn't remember. He is momentarily quiet.

And then tells Bill he doesn't have very long to live.

...it's kind of a really nice day.

He decides to walk around the block. On the side of the road, he sees a woman's tennis shoe filled with leaves, and it fills him with inexplicable sadness.

He walks down his side street and sees striking colors in the faces of the people around him. Details in these beautiful brick walls, in the weeds, things he must have passed every day, but never noticed. The air smells different and he's never noticed it being brighter somehow, and the current under the bridge look strange and vivid, and the sun is warming his face, and the world is clumsy and beautiful and new.

And its as though hes been sleepwalking asleep, asleep for god knows how long, and something has violently shaken him awake. His bath mats....are gorgeous, the grain patterns in his cheap wood cabinets vibrate something deep within him, and he's fascinated by the way his paper towel drinks water, and he's never really appreciated these things. All these details he's never noticed, he's alive, he's alive, he's alive, he's alive, and he's never noticed.

The stars rattle him to the core, all those lights have traveled for tens of millions of years, and he's alive to have them reach him at this moment, how somewhere far away our, how our own sun looks just like them, how many of the stars no longer exist, he's never noticed, but their ancient lights are just reaching him now, an impression from a ghost, an amazing infinite time machine, every night above his head that hes ignored for most of his life.

He wants to stop people in the street and ask, "Isn't this amazing?"

"Isn't everything amazing?"

Not going to lie, I think stirring shit and intentionally upsetting the alt right user base of this sub is participating in good faith given the culture of the sub.

Yeah, in seriousness I'm not sure how they'll deal with subs like these where toxic moderating is important to the wider culture of the sub. Though it probably doesn't matter; they likely just put these guidelines in place to give them an excuse to remove power-tripping and sub camping mods/mod teams that are wildly unpopular with the userbase, which is long-needed imo.

Of course we'll do what everyone says in times like this and considers moving to Voat. We'll create a new sub

with pictures of scantily-clad minors and people that harbor unchecked aggression towards the overweight members of our society?

Oh, wait, those already exist. We have to be a little more original.

Why?

That is an excellent point of which I have no rebuttal.

Pedos can get help, fat people can help themselves.

of course they can, /u/itoucheditforacookie. of course they can.

next thing you're going to tell me is that conservatives aren't white satan.

#mayocide

fat people can help themselves.

To thirds, often.

Nice.

cant go to voat when there aint nobody on voat

We'll create a new sub

With blackjack! And hookers!

Dank meme, bro. Shouldn't you be posting in /r/AskReddit?

Does it have blackjack and hookers?

could you tell the fucking faggot admins to kill themselves please thanks

could you tell the fucking faggot admins to kill themselves please thanks

np homeslice, click send.

I'd be curious how this would affect subs that were essentially sold out by the original owner to people that are hostile to the sub's base i.e. punchablefaces.

Probably nothing, but the groundwork is there now.

Imagine taking out that 35 member deep bench, getting to /u/RobotAnna in the last seven and knowing that pinning those ex-tea party black girls on there would be the first order of business.

hnnnnngggg.

Though it probably doesn't matter; they likely just put these guidelines in place to give them an excuse to remove power-tripping and sub camping mods/mod teams that are wildly unpopular with the userbase, which is long-needed imo.

More likely it's so they have an excuse for singleing out "toxic subs" and removing them (as well as removing "toxic" users from regular subs).

Basically, it's the admins being too spineless to openly create rules against wrongthink. So business as usual.

So... we can't call for mayocide any more?

This is mod etiquette only, so you are still free to call for the death of pigskins.

Death to all cumskins!

waht about teh joos

Feel free to pour out any receptacle containing juice at your discretion. Apple juice, orange juice, grape juice, pineapple juice...you name it.

Only acidic juices?

ur mockin me that's not nice >:|

As I understand it, these guidelines mean that you should participate in the calls for mayocide and should probably have something in the sidebar.

Did you actually call for mayocide or did spez edit your post again?

Fuck (((admins))) tbh

This is because of what that cum burp did to /r/pussypass

Okay, so will mods continue posting cuckold porn daily or what?

I'm still going to flair spoilers for nerd-movies if any r4chan post reaches r/all

You're an inspiration to us all.

hell yea

camping or sitting on communities for long periods of time for the sake of holding onto them is prohibited.

Powermods BTFO

it only took ten years

Yes and will be an empty promise anyway.

Did you hear that /u/agentlame ? They're coming for you motherfucker

so you wanna get banned....this is how you get banned

Janie got a gun.

Senpai noticed me!

What happens if one of the mods you added leads the mutiny? By your rules you would he forced to de-mod yourself.

I just remove em all and then shut it down til Justin Amash becomes potus

Lookit this whiny cunt

dems the rules brah

Clear, Concise, and Consistent Guidelines: Healthy communities have agreed upon clear, concise, and consistent guidelines for participation. These guidelines are flexible enough to allow for some deviation and are updated when needed. Secret Guidelines aren’t fair to your users—transparency is important to the platform.

Remember when Enkara and other mods of the radical-leftist subs didn't want to write guidelines to let people know what the rules of their subs are so they could ban people whom they didn't like?

Pepperidge Farm remembers.

Rules are for reactionaries.

Anarchism doesn't mean no rules, it means no rulers that mods can make up and enforce whatever they want as they go ;-)

The more secretive and harsh the better.

I can't beat off to this kind of faggotry. You (((mods))) better not change a goddamn thing.

Where moderators consistently are in violation of these guidelines

I hope they enjoy the mass reporting shitstorm of people reporting mods for "not following guidelines."

As if they're going to actually implement any of that... "clear and concise guidelines", and "appeals" my ass. You'd have to burn many subs from /r/europe through T_D to r@ to the ground and throw away the ashes for that to happen. It's just a feelgood speech without any actual meaning for the users and reads like a corporate "code of conduct" whose sole use is protecting their own asses if push comes to shove.

Management of Multiple Communities: We know management of multiple communities can be difficult, but we expect you to manage communities as isolated communities and not use a breach of one set of community rules to ban a user from another community. In addition, camping or sitting on communities for long periods of time for the sake of holding onto them is prohibited.

Wonder if any of the subs that break this rule right now will stop.

Looking at any sub that bans you for posting in TiA.

Anyone who posts in TiA should be banned from earth IMO.

T H I S

Once again the clueless admins skirt around the real problem occurring all over Reddit. I read the guidelines and they are too tepid, hard to prove and very disputable and ignore the real problem: a few hundred or thousands of people with no social lives are dominating Reddit and lording it over everyone else. Why should anyone be allowed to mod 10+ high profile subreddits? Why should nerds be allowed to collect for example 5 different high-profile Mideast subreddits? I complained to /r/israel for deleting one of my posts and super nerd /u/zzqw- banned me from /r/israel and /r/kurdistan. Look at how many mideastern related subs that nerd in Sweden squats on:

/r/Israel
/r/kurdistan
/r/rojava
/r/MiddleEasternMusic
/r/farsi
/r/turkishcivilwar
/r/persianfood
/r/ImagesOfIran
/r/saudihate

That is nine Mideast Reddit subreddits. Btw, if you look you will find that at least one or two other users also mod many of the same subreddits like /u/felinebeeline which suggest as always that they probably met and organize on IRC/slackchat/discord. Which is another big structural problem: mega-nerds who will take the time to constantly link threads on IRC/slack/discord will never get in trouble for brigading, only the people with lives who do it via Reddit's subreddits, will... But again even if Reddit makes a rule against such cyber astro-squatting, again people with no lives can just create limitless Reddit accounts, while normal people won't bother. You simply give too many tools give so many tools to people with no lives to dominate the discourse here. An accident is when go to fart in your pants and find you shitted on yourself, what happens on Reddit is a deliberate extension of the tools, liberties and policies set by the site. Your tepid moderator guidelines are too late because you have showed in the past too many times you will simply cave in the neckbeard supermoderators dominating this medium. Admins/staff/Reddit's CEO will always feel more kinship to those who have no lives outside of Reddit, because they both share in common they spend too much time on Reddit. To be fair at least one group gets paid for it...

Are you posting this in every subreddit in the [other discussions] tab?

Are you really moderating 52 Reddit subreddits and trying to distract? Apparently so!

When was the last time you did something of note outside, where you could actually see the sun/moon?

I don't actually "moderate" anything. I shitpost in modmail.

When was the last time you did something of note outside, where you could actually see the sun/moon?

Well I went nude moonbathing the other night. You should join me sometime. ;)

Like anyone that is not a Reddit mark(Reddit marks always defend each other) believes any of that, you are the type of user I was talking about. You are also probably all day on irc/slackchat/discord discussing Reddit as well.

Reddit is a good place to fight, to deal with losers who love inter-Reddit drama thanks to endless subs like this one, circlejerk subs, it is a good place to play the game of Reddit(to fight for karma, reddit turf as expressed in subreddits), it is a good place for weirdos with agendas to push their agendas just squat alot of subreddits, but everyday it is becoming a worse place for advice and discussion. The issue is that people with no lives massively self organize and befriend each other on IRC, slackchat and discord and then dominate Reddit based on those relationships and their lack of life interests. Reddit's idiot staff/admin in turn only police those with lives who do the same but on Reddit(vote brigading, etc.). During the whole /r/the_donald fiasco this was sort of covered:

http://gizmodo.com/reddit-is-tearing-itself-apart-1789406294

That article reveals who even Reddit staff use slackchat and other non-Reddit mediums to further cater to the type of super nerds I am complaining about.

Hello, Nikolasv!

It seems you've made one of the most common spelling errors.


The word you've misspelled is: alot.

The correct spelling is: a lot.

Something to remember: it is one lot, 'a lot'.


This is just a friendly heads up. Not trying to be mean. :)

The parent of this comment can reply with "delete" (and remove the reply again), and this comment will be removed.


I am a new bot, and I will probably make mistakes. Please forgive me.

Lol even the bots make fun of you /u/Nikolasv

Does this mean you don't want to come moonbathing then?

Do you honestly think anyone is dumb enough to believe that someone who squats 50+ subreddits is anything but a neckbeard who is sun deprived? But you are exactly the type of luser I am talking about that is ruining Reddit and the real structural problem of Reddit, so thanks for showing how your tribe operate.

Your ilk offer nothing positive and just shit-post, lie and troll because you are boring people with no interests but staring at screens.

Fucking reddit Marks mane.

this is true

Are you really moderating 52 Reddit subreddits and trying to distract? Apparently so!

If he really didn't want you to notice this, don't you think a better approach would have been to not comment at all?

I don't think people like him even notice or care or think what they are doing is wrong. Normally Reddit marks with no life tend to win the karma game, I am veryshocked this time around I beat a neckbeard at Reddit's/their own game. Deep down even some of the users of /r/drama know what I wrote about is the real dividing line of Reddit: the neckbeards(whether they are "sjw" or dark enlightenment) versus normal people who just occasionally want to post in good faith.

pot................

meet kettle.

Ok, this has been driving me crazy for seven movies now, and I know you're going to roll your eyes, but hear me out: Harry Potter should have carried a 1911. Here's why: Think about how quickly the entire WWWIII (Wizarding-World War III) would have ended if all of the good guys had simply armed up with good ol' American hot lead. Basilisk? Let's see how tough it is when you shoot it with a .470 Nitro Express. Worried about its Medusa-gaze? Wear night vision goggles. The image is light-amplified and re-transmitted to your eyes. You aren't looking at it--you're looking at a picture of it. Imagine how epic the first movie would be if Harry had put a breeching charge on the bathroom wall, flash-banged the hole, and then went in wearing NVGs and a Kevlar-weave stab-vest, carrying a SPAS-12. And have you noticed that only Europe seems to a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it's because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their steaks with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal. Now I know what you're going to say: "But a wizard could just disarm someone with a gun!" Yeah, well they can also disarm someone with a wand (as they do many times throughout the books/movies). But which is faster: saying a spell or pulling a trigger? Avada Kedavra, meet Avtomat Kalashnikova. Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound. I can see it now...Voldemort roaring with evil laughter and boasting to Harry that he can't be killed, since he is protected by seven Horcruxes, only to have Harry give a crooked grin, flick his cigarette butt away, and deliver what would easily be the best one-liner in the entire series: "Well then I guess it's a good thing my 1911 holds 7+1." And that is why Harry Potter should have carried a 1911.

1911

So just wait for it to jam and wreck his shit

This, 100%. There must be a cap on how many subs someone can moderate.

We have Subway here in Germany, and I eat there all the time. I love Subway. Only the Veggie Patty because I'm vegetarian, but not vegan like those vegan idiots who won't eat proper subs but only eat dinkel wheat conchiglie pasta, pathetic losers.

So today I went to the local Subway, and I bought a delicious sub. The lady at the counter was very sweet and commanding, telling her co-workers to close the lid on the oven properly so my sub comes out golden with the cheese just right. She flirted with me a little I think. She was like "oh mister, you have sooo many points on your Subcard®!"

And it's not really true, I have like 580 points, which is nice. I told her I really love subs which is true, and I eat a lot of them. Not as many as I wish. So I was thinking, this lady likes subs and understands the value of Subcard® points, maybe she would be a good girlfriend for me. She is quite a bit younger than me, but I feel she is very mature, she is an artist, a sandwich artist, that counts for something right? I wish I didn't look as disgusting as I undoubtedly do when I smoosh the sub against my face. And I feel my overuse of coupons is starting to become a topic in the sandwich artist community. This one guy noticed me buying subs with coupons two days in a row, I tried going to different shops but apparently they have the same owner and he was there and omg it was so embarrassing. I still paid with the coupon though, because that way I can have more subs.

So that is my Subway story. If you are reading this and you are a sandwich artist, you are a true inspiration to me. I buy subs at the normal price too, just saying. It would be easier if Veggie Patty was eligible for sub of the day, but I guess that's an honour only carnivore subs can have. If you are that cute girl and you are reading this, don't worry, I won't grope you. But if you like me back, you can send me a private message and I will give you my address and if you come over with a sub platter maybe we can share it. I don't tolerate meat though and you will have to give me like 4 days warning so I can clean this place, there is sub all over the walls.

god, we need to bully nerds more

thanks millennials, this is the by-product of your anti-bullying bullshit

get fucked faggot mods now you cant say shit or ill get daddy /u/spez to shut down ur gay subreddit

{[(((Admins)))]}

Did you just find this? lol

Management of Multiple Communities: We know management of multiple communities can be difficult, but we expect you to manage communities as isolated communities and not use a breach of one set of community rules to ban a user from another community. In addition, camping or sitting on communities for long periods of time for the sake of holding onto them is prohibited.

DR666 ban incoming when?

Does this mean I'll be unbanned from /r/blackladies?

Stable and Active Teams of Moderators

Lol we're fucked. Not a single moderator on this team would be considered "stable"

Not a single moderator on this team would be considered "stable"

Do you know the joke about the patient who had a dozen plastic horse figurines removed from his anus?

Do you know the joke about the patient who had a dozen plastic horse figurines removed from his anus?

Just another Tuesday for u/xNotch

You people are missing it. The holy grail of drama right there in that post.

Global Moderators.

Can you imagine how much drama would be involved in their creation? Any time any of them did the slightest thing not perfect?

The_Cheeto would act like a bee hive you were pissing into, conspiracy as well. The ghazi and SRS sides would probably have a resurgence, and undelete would cream themselves.

Bring on Global Mods right fucking now!

lol they can go fuck themselves, I'm a rule breaker.

MODS == FAGS

We’ve learned a lot from them, including that overall moderators are largely happy with Reddit (87.5% were slightly, moderately, or extremely satisfied with Reddit), and that you are largely very happy with moderation (only about 6.3% are reporting that you are extremely or moderately dissatisfied). Most importantly, we heard your feedback regarding mod tools, where about 14.6% of you say that you’re unhappy.

Are these survey results genuine like the completely organic gildings in admin posts and comments?

So when do we get our reparations?