Kys

Good It's something everyone should at least consider.

Not just normal, healthy.

If you do the latter, then you should also do the former.

This got really boring after I realized you weren't a lesbian

even though we almost made out once ( we were shit faced though and she says she doesnt remenber )

Good God, "almost" made out when you were both drunk? You sound like an insufferable vagina. She she does remember, and between this and the hugging shit, she thinks you're a gaping vagina. And she's right.

By the way she freaked the fuck out so I assume she really had no idea

Of course she did. And if she really made no attempt to let you down easy and still spergs out over you confessing your feelings (seriously, man-to-man, you sound like a flaming homo), then she's partly to blame for letting an autistic faggot into her life without giving him a safety helmet and floaties.

Do I kill myself? do I go full redpill?

You were too much of a pansy to be upfront with her, so let's not pretend you have the testicular fortitude to do what the gene pool wants you to.

Rape/murder/suicide

Those words are not a call to action. Just words....

"almost made out once" doesnt imply anything, neither does hugging. man up and go make friends elsewhere/maybe just wait a few days for her to calm down and apologize you are acting like an autistic manchild retard if you really think that your friend not wanting to fuck you means you have to "go full redpill"

there is a girl somehwere out there who will get your dick wet. i've been to enough conventions to learn that 400lb bald 19 year olds can get 6/10 shy friendly kind girlfriends. so can your ass

most people just dont click with each other. thats not your fault. 90% of my conversations with randoms end weirdly unless there's some sort of coincidence that we both stumble into. as long as you dont talk about how much you want to fuck a cartoon character or how all women are evil or something or how racist you are to someone you should probably be fine in any given conversation by just talking about random shit relevant to a mutual interest

even though we would hug in bed

If you're hugging in bed with a girl without establishing that you consider it a stepping stone to fucking, she's perfectly excused to assume that you have no dick.

In that case don't fall for the "just be yourself" meme and try acting like someone who isn't a huge pussy.

I have advice, man the fuck up. Who really gives a shit, plenty of bitches out there.

She's not interested in you, it's pretty obvious. If she's playing games, plenty of bitches don't play games and that is the ones you should go after.

Fuck man, getting your dick wet isn't that fucking hard. A gargoyle looking motherfucker like me can get pussy, so can you.

Advice: Get high as fuck and don't sweat shit. If she's not interested in you, she likely will never be. Just look elsewhere.

drugs

She said she had no idea even though I made it ridiculously obvious before

Lmao of course she knew. She also knew you wouldn't make a move. Now you've forced the issue and ruined her plausible deniability. You're no longer useful as an ongoing self-esteem boost. You can't stuff the spaghetti back into your pockets so get ready to ditch the friendship.

Women are infinitely more socially aware than you are. From your position, they are practically mindreaders. Her and her friends laugh about the fact that you have a crush on her. Welcome to the desert of the real.

everyone in this thread is retarded, you think women are fucking amazing social geniuses reading subtle clues - no son, most women are thick because they're people and most people are thick. the smarter someone gets the thicker the get too, it's much easier to not know things when you know loads of other things.

the twenties is pretty hard but in your thirties you start getting all the hot girls saying things like 'oh Ernigrad, it's sad we never got it on, i always had a crush on you...' and you're like 'what, i was the weird kid with no friends?!' and they're like 'yah, that really turned me on for some reason, used to finger myself crazy thinking about you doing super weirdo things to me' and i'm like 'what the fuck?' and they're like 'yeah i thought it was pretty obvious' and i'm like 'WHAT HE FUCK' and they like 'yeah but i never thought i had a chance with you because that pretty blond girl was always following you around' and i'm like 'WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK I'D HAVE GIVEN MY LIFE JUST TO SMELL HER FUCKING SOCKS OF COURSE SHE DIDN'T FOLLOW ME AROUND!' and they're all like 'yeah, she had a real crush on you, was always talking about it.. said you were the sort that just needed a little love and you'd turn out to be successful developer or something' and i'm just like in a pool of tears on the floor and they're like 'like she was really sad that you weren't into her, that's why she got that complex about not being good enough to date smart guys and married that abusive alcoholic she had all those kids with' and i've slashed my veins open but it's only tears flowing from them as they say 'yeah, funny how things turn out really, oh well, off to have sex with my husband, he's a bit of a loser but he does this really kinky sex stuff so i guess i'll stay with him forever... bye now!'

it's tragic and it all could have been avoided if back in my early twenties i'd had my penis evaluated, alas back then there weren't great penis evaluation services like /r/DickEvaluationService/ to get such vital and life changing services.

that's what i used to think, and you'd be amazed how many women feel the same.

Some women even secretly like the fact you're a loser or a nerd or a hopeless soul adrift in a sea of turmoil, they really do and it's not actually uncommon - there are many reasons but the easiest to understand it that they're very shy and neurotic too so with someone like you they can feel safe and secure and be themselves.

The other main reason is a lot of women have kinda been brought up to hide and sexual side to their character which means they've had to explore all these things alone and in fantasies so often they've kinda spent a lot of evenings reading pervy sex stories or looking at twisted fetish porn... a hopeless otaku like you actually fits perfectly into their sexual fantasies - just the thought of servicing your sexual needs make them tremble with excitement and anticipation!

you see it's not about you being sexy it's about you desiring them, about them having such an impact on you... a lot of women get REALLY crazy for this, true story.

but yeah, it's pretty hard for me to deal with this sort of thing because i kinda just think 'omg why did no one ever tell me!' but now you'll be like 'WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN!?' which stings even more, i'm sure.

exactly, imagine how it would feel to get to an age when all your friends are kinda settled down and sorted out but you've basically wasted your entire life for no other reason than your own idiocy! i mean that'd sting, right?

so next time you're in a situation and you're a little shy or a little nervous or you don't want to look a fool i want you to remember your friend Ernigrad Zoleastraion Komtoresa and to remember that it is a tiny, insignificant and meaningless challenge you face now but avoid it for ever and you'll end up in the worst of hells and it'll all be your own making.

Full redpill and suicide are essentially the same thing.

Hi, I'm Ernigrad-zo and I think it sounds like you have some complex issues you need to work out. Firstly you must understand your friend has complex social and psychological issues of her own to balance - possibly she would respond differently and more warmly to the situation if you speak to her about things in a more understanding and open way.

For example it is important to convey the message that you deeply like and respect her as a person and they your friendship means a lot to you and that you'd be very upset to upset her however you also fear that things left unsaid grow foul and many a great thing has been poisoned by bitter vapours of half buried emotions.

tell her honestly that you do not fully understand yourself or the world that you are in, that you do not know what the future holds for you and that in these matters if anything you respect her opinion more than your own - tell her that all you know is that she's a great person, a beautiful person, a wonderful person who lights up your life and that sometimes friends do have sex, tell her that you don't know if the pair of you would grow to be the most perfect couple walking down lifes beach hand in hand or if it'd just be a temporary thing between friends who's paths grew closer... tell her that you don't know but that you do know if you don't try you'll always have wondered.,,,

tell her that you trust her, that you respect her - especially her understanding of your selves, tell her that she's always been there for you and always been a light in your life - tell her that if she doesn't believe there can be anything between you then you'll understand that as fact. understand that what you saw was but a conflagration of shadows on the wall and that you're eternally grateful for her honesty, for her wisdom which might put your mind at rest; you drempt you could please her but alack, alack, the fates are every bit as cruel as cupid!

very good strategy because she'll fake orgasms every time, EVERY TIME and she'll be really careful about making it seem like you're filling all her sexual needs which means you'll be able to say things like 'i do satisfy you don't i baby? I just want to try this once, if you don't like it we can stop...' and she's like 'mmm, who knew shitting in my mouth could be sexy! you're such a great lover and it feels so good to be wanted in a complex existential sense i can pretend is love!

only problem is this solution is not for everyone, first you must get your penis evaluated. best place, /r/DickEvaluationService/ very accurate top results.

ah because you are too scared to tell your friend you have feelings for her now i'm the looser, ok buddy if that makes you feel better. your mind is an american teen drama, pathetic and boring cliches. if you had life and passion then you wouldn't be in these situations.

i mean obviously yeah that would be the solution i've longed for most my life but i don't get why you say it now? i'm in a good place at the moment, i don't have any friends left so i can't let anyone down and my life is basically set now, just keep working until something bad happens then i die but in the mean time i can try and share my advice and wisdom and help the people of the world avoid the mistakes Ernigrad made. i think it's not much but it's noble calling of sorts, you know what i mean? it would be nice to try and help some people before.

Consider joining /r/mgtowwom. It will change your life for the better.

You are what's known as an "orbiter" and she is what's known as an "attention whore." She gets off on the attention you show her and you continue to orbit her on the miniscule chance you'll get some sex.

This is not what being friends looks like. It is a dysfunctional relationship and you need to kick her to the curb and never look back.