It is tempting but I will not, for a second, take my attention away from the three savages who did the crime that each deserve a bullet just like the one they gave to the kid.
It is not a crime or against the law what mother did.
Only one party broke the law and that should be the end of that.
Someone in the comments said it is against the law to leave a vehicle running and to leave a child unattended and if the cops had found the boy in the car the parents would have gotten in trouble.
Actually it generally is against the law to leave your kids alone in the car like that. Sometimes there are statutes specifically addressing it... Hell there are statutes like that against leaving your dog in the car.
Don't leave your fucking kids in the car alone. Ever. Even if you don't live in a crime-ridden city and it's safe to do so, there's always busybodies that would love to call the cops on you for child neglect so they can feel good about themselves. My kid does not get out of an arm's reach in public.
I've gone to the store at 10 pm, I carry my daughter in and let her sleep in the shopping cart while I grab what need. Just because it's 5 mins doesn't mean anything, it only takes a second for things to go from perfectly normal to tragedy.
As many commenters pointed out to /u/austinmiles, the parents probably weren't at a dinner party until 2AM, and if they wanted to go out they could have gotten a babysitter.
I can shit out a better scenario that would be a more reasoned explanation. I'm just in awe that he thinks his example is not fucking hilariously bad.
e.g Traveling accross the country with your kid and you don't want to waste money at a hotel, you stop for gas and run in to pay leaving the little gremlin sleeping in the car and it gets stolen.
But you're still retarded in this scenario because you have a fucking kid and hes your responsibility you shit, get a hotel instead of traveling at 2am.
We don't know why they were out at 2, and honestly, it's not important, but everyone wants to blame the victims rather than directing hate at the murders.
I'm not justifying her poor decision. I was just saying sometimes as a parent you justify things that could be lower risk...and with the current state of fear that everyone lives in, sometimes things that are scary are less risky than things that seem safe.
I would bet that driving on city streets during rush hour with your kids in the car is more dangerous than leaving them in the car while you go into a store late at night. (Other circumstances like leaving it on, and unlocked certainly would be mistakes)
Also, I was surprised the amount of attention that my comment got.
We don't know why they were out at 2, and honestly, it's not important,
Yes it is. Having a 6 year old in the car at 2AM is certainly not normal behavior unless it's a road trip or something. If they wanted to go out and party late into the night, it really calls their judgement into question to bring the kid when a babysitter could have been called.
but everyone wants to blame the victims rather than directing hate at the murders.
The murderers have been arrested and will likely be in prison the rest of their lives. They're not getting off easy.
I would bet that driving on city streets during rush hour with your kids in the car is more dangerous than leaving them in the car while you go into a store late at night. (Other circumstances like leaving it on, and unlocked certainly would be mistakes)
Sure, let's use your traffic analogy. If this woman got in an accident that was no fault of her own with the kid in the car and he died it would be tragic. If she got in an accident because she was drunk driving or speeding she would be irresponsible and her behavior would have caused his death. What she did isn't this bad, though.
If she wasn't doing any of the above but got in an accident because she had bald tires or defective brakes and never bothered to fix the problem, she would be negligent which would have contributed to his death. If the accident was no fault of her own at all but the child was killed because she didn't put him in a car seat or fasten his seat belt (depending on his age), she would be negligent which would have contributed to his death. What the mother in this story did is more along these lines.
Yes it is. Having a 6 year old in the car at 2AM is certainly not normal behavior unless it's a road trip or something. If they wanted to go out and party late into the night, it really calls their judgement into question to bring the kid when a babysitter could have been called.
I will take some exception to that: I've had a job that involved some very late hours, and on school nights to boot. Worst outcome for me was falling asleep in class. And I don't know how many babysitters are available at 2AM, or what they cost.
And yes, I see where this is going: Parents are irresponsible, shouldn't have had the kid in the first place if they can't take care of it, etc. I hear ya, I even agree with you. I'm just saying, I can see a scenario where you're stuck hauling a kid around at 2AM. Still no excuse to leave the kid in the car.
Well, if you had a child in that situation I certainly hope you wouldn't be leaving him in the car while you were working!
In most cases if you couldn't get a sitter you would just have to rearrange your life to fit the kid. That's just how it's done. If the other parent is involved you can share responsibilities. One works and the other babysits. If you're a single parent you would have to quit school and get a day job when sitters are available. Ask relatives to help. Apply for every welfare program.
As a black person the only time I was in the car like that late at night is if I was sick with an upset stomach. He would have been up anyway if he had a cold or something anyway. You're young like that and you think your dying or that God is punishing you or something silly like that because it's never happened before.
That's the only way this makes sense to me. I love how the assumptions here are that she just had him in the car at that age because she was 'less responsible' or she didn't know what she was doing.
I was just saying sometimes as a parent you justify things that could be lower risk...
The crime happened in a particularly dangerous part of town at 2am in one of the most dangerous cities in America. That's incredibly high-risk. There's no justification for taking a risk like that unless they've lived in those circumstances so long that they've become immune to the risk. But even then, people should be vigilant when they have children. imo the culture of vigilance has gotten way too extreme, but this is on a different level than something like leaving your kid in the car when you run to the suburban grocery store at noon or letting an 8yo walk to their friend's house down the block.
I would bet that driving on city streets during rush hour with your kids in the car is more dangerous than leaving them in the car while you go into a store late at night.
Somebody did the math- you're a few times more likely to die by violent crime than a traffic accident in Jackson...
Not going to lie, I couldn't care less about strangers' kids. I think their children are their responsibility. Not mine. Unless they're family I don't care how they're being raised. I think the government should stay out of our homes and family lives. Sure, there is some abuse but government overreach is worse than a parent being retarded and ruining their own kid's life.
It's within a parent's genetic interests to raise the best child possible. If they don't want to, if they want to end their genes, then it's their choice. I just hate seeing all this cookie-cutter shit: "you have to raise your child the way the government says you hate" it create a country of fags.
When I posted it most of the comments we saying how she was either out partying or doing drugs so I pushed it to the other extreme. It's not the likely scenario.
A more realistic personal possibility is that I take my kids to my brother in laws on a Thursday because the office is closed on Friday. They play with their cousins and sleep on the floor at 8:30 or 9. I have a couple of beers and hang out chatting and smoking a cigar on the porch. We get along well and don't hang out enough so we chill for a while. I midnight I decide to leave but get sucked into him mentioning that Trump is a better Christian than Obama is a Muslim. Suddenly it's 1:30 so I pack up the kids and leave and forget that I need to grab milk that my wife texted me about at 8:30 and I don't really want to irritate her in the morning.
I haven't left my kids in a parking lot at 2am, but this might be a place where that kind of risk assessment takes place.
The laws about leaving kids or dogs in cars has to do with heat in the summer. Not kidnappers or murders.
I posted this in the original thread, but I'll throw it in here, too:
Blame the murders. They are the monsters. Not the victims.
The mother is responsible. She chose to leave her child unattended in an unsafe environment-she did not have to go to the store at that time, she did not have to leave him in the car, even if he was asleep, she did not have to leave the car running.
You are making the grave mistake of thinking that the mother was the victim. The mother was NOT the victim: the CHILD was. The child was a victim of neglect from the mother, and that lead to the child being a victim of murder. The mother was a victim of what exactly? Was she neglected? Was she kidnapped and then murdered?
If a police officer had walked by the car and spotted this 6 year old child in the car by himself, sleeping, with the car running, there is a very real possibility the mother would have criminal charges filed against her. That makes her the perpetrator, and the child the victim, of neglect.
I loathe this victim-culture where something tragic happens to someone and all of a sudden those close to the person are victims as well. If my wife gets murdered, am I the victim? No, that would be my wife, I am 'the victim's husband'. If my child is kidnapped, am I the victim? No! I'm the father of the victim.
I despise the victim-culture even more in this situation because the mother was the exact fucking opposite of a victim, and even though she wasn't the perpetrator of the murder, she still was the perpetrator of neglect; neglect that facilitated her son's murder. So, if it's alright with you, I will continue to blame the mother, and the murderers.
But holy-fucking-shit what I abhor above even the victim-culture is people like you, the apologists, because all you do is help perpetuate the victim-culture: 'Well, she isn't to blame because she just did what any smart parent would do; she has a life too, you know.' But that's bullshit. I've already said why it's bullshit, and that she is to blame, but let me address the 'smart parent comment as well.
A smart parent doesn't stop living their life because they have a kid. They try to compromise so that they can maintain a sense of self and some identity.
I agree. But if you honestly think that the 'smart parent' compromise between wanting to go in a grocery store ('living their life') and having no one else to watch your sleeping child ('having a kid') is to leave him in a running car unattended at 2 AM in a parking lot, then I think that we must have different interpretations of 'smart parent' and 'compromise'. Because that is not a compromise, that is a trade; she traded living a life for having a kid.
It is possible to 'live a life' and provide basic safety to a child-the two are not mutually exclusive. In fact, parents who take time to care for their needs (health, social, emotional, spiritual, etc.) in a healthy way (no drugs) actually are able to provide their child with better parenting.
A part of basic safety is not leaving your child unattended. Another core idea of basic safety in parenting is to not expose your child to dangerous situations. Leaving a child in a running car counts as the child could have woken up and (potentially) driven the car. Leaving a child in a running car in public is even more dangerous, as now not only is the child in a situation in which he might hurt himself, but also, he is in a situation where others can potentially hurt him.
To you, and every one who up-voted your comment: please, in all seriousness, consider the consequences of subscribing to this mentality-for the effects it will have on your self, and on your loved ones, and on our society as a whole. Keep in mind what constitutes a victim-I get it when bad things happen to those close to us it makes us feel bad, and it is tragic, but that doesn't make us the victim. And understand the consequences of finding excuses for those who have made mistakes (especially ourselves). If we have this mentality, we'll never grow because we're incapable of holding ourselves and each other accountable.
I loathe this victim-culture where something tragic happens to someone and all of a sudden those close to the person are victims as well. If my wife gets murdered, am I the victim? No, that would be my wife, I am 'the victim's husband'. If my child is kidnapped, am I the victim? No! I'm the father of the victim.
If they weren't responsible for the tragedy, then they are victims. They have to live with the tragedy weighing on them for the rest of their lives every day. Even worse when the media gets involved and hounds them while they're trying to grieve and makes them relive the tragedy every year until it fades from public memory. If you look at family members of highly-publicized cases like 9/11 or disappearances, the deaths of their loved ones have completely changed the course of their lives, oftentimes for the worst. Lots of alcoholism, suicides, and PTSD and lots of people who never stop grieving. My SO's dad died in 9/11, and every time I hang out with his mother and brother, it seems like the tragedy pervades every aspect of their existence despite (his mother at least) largely having healed. It will never go away. And in hearing some stories about other kids who lost their parents, it's pretty clear that the ones who grew up well-adjusted are in the minority.
Allow me to just, before anything, say thank you so very much for your reply, it just so perfectly exemplifies exactly what I was discussing.
That being said, let's talk about this:
If they weren't responsible for the tragedy, then they are victims.
I LOVE this, for two reasons. Because 1: it implies that, somehow, the mother was not responsible for the tragedy, which is, laughable in and of itself, and 2: that anyone not responsible for a tragedy is automatically a victim of it, which is the exact 'victim-culture' mindset I loathe.
cases like 9/11 or disappearances, the deaths of their loved ones have completely changed the course of their lives, oftentimes for the worst.
What happened was tragic, but the individuals themselves are not victims of 9/11, their loved ones were, and it somehow feels dishonorable to take that away from the actual victims.
it implies that, somehow, the mother was not responsible for the tragedy, which is, laughable in and of itself
Who was talking about the mother? In this scenario she was clearly at fault.
that anyone not responsible for a tragedy is automatically a victim of it, which is the exact 'victim-culture' mindset I loathe.
If a traumatic event drives someone to suicide, drug abuse, alcoholism, mental illness, etc. just as a survivor of violent crime would, then arguing over whether or not they should be considered victims is splitting hairs. There's been a ton of research into caretakers of loved ones with terminal illness, and on average they tend to suffer from higher rates of distress and mental illness than the dying people they're taking care of. Parents of abducted children relive the day of abduction every day without closure. Couples who've had baby-loss crumble because they can't contend with it. Unless you're just being ultra-protective about the word 'victim' for whatever reason, it's kind of dumb to hand-wave the trauma and suffering that family members of victims have to contend with just because they weren't directly subject to something.
lol
"it's like a 1/1,000,000 chance that anything could happen (seriously look it up)"
Yes, scientists conducted a ten year study where every case of 'child left in car for a couple minutes' was carefully documented and longitudinally followed up on. Out of the precisely 1 million cases, one resulted in the kidnapping of the child.' In a control study, 1 million dolls were left in a car briefly. In three cases, dolls were stolen. Therefore, we conclude that there is a statistically significantly greater chance of having a doll stolen than a kid. This study was funded by Ramsey incorporated.
Considering I feel like a royal shithead when I forget to feed my dogs I can't begin to imagine how awful these parents must feel. My heart breaks for them again and again.
51 comments
n/a SnapshillBot 2017-05-19
This, but unironically.
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n/a newcomer_ts 2017-05-19
It is tempting but I will not, for a second, take my attention away from the three savages who did the crime that each deserve a bullet just like the one they gave to the kid.
It is not a crime or against the law what mother did.
Only one party broke the law and that should be the end of that.
n/a OniTan 2017-05-19
Someone in the comments said it is against the law to leave a vehicle running and to leave a child unattended and if the cops had found the boy in the car the parents would have gotten in trouble.
n/a toynbeeidea16 2017-05-19
Is too.
Well, maybe not in a shitpit like Jackson MS, but in the civilized portions of the country...
n/a SuchSpookySkeltal 2017-05-19
You can get arrested for child neglect for leaving a kid in a car in many states
n/a I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2017-05-19
Nah, as a reasoned human being you look at cause and effect and what let up to the issue at hand.
Pretending victims are infallible and refusing to look at preventative solutions in the future is fucking retarded.
n/a pepperouchau 2017-05-19
It's not against the law for an adult to post bussy.
So you better hurry up.
n/a newprofile15 2017-05-19
Actually it generally is against the law to leave your kids alone in the car like that. Sometimes there are statutes specifically addressing it... Hell there are statutes like that against leaving your dog in the car.
n/a SuchSpookySkeltal 2017-05-19
Don't leave your fucking kids in the car alone. Ever. Even if you don't live in a crime-ridden city and it's safe to do so, there's always busybodies that would love to call the cops on you for child neglect so they can feel good about themselves. My kid does not get out of an arm's reach in public.
n/a ChaoticEvil 2017-05-19
Yeah but I'm not sure it's much better keeping your kid within arm's reach when you're out blowing dudes for gas station wine money.
n/a SuchSpookySkeltal 2017-05-19
I told you that in confidence
n/a ChaoticEvil 2017-05-19
Sorry, I guess I missed that because your kid was crying and your mouth was full.
n/a SuchSpookySkeltal 2017-05-19
delete this
n/a ChaoticEvil 2017-05-19
I will shout our love from the mountaintops
n/a LSeww 2017-05-19
FIFY
n/a snallygaster 2017-05-19
Or microchip them! Then they'll never get lost!
n/a wootfatigue 2017-05-19
My kids and I live in a car. Are you saying I should never leave the house?
n/a BlackPeopleEmoji 2017-05-19
when ever I see that kid I always think, "damn I want some ramen" or if you're a weaboo you probably call it "lamen"
n/a LeFabulousFaggot 2017-05-19
I've gone to the store at 10 pm, I carry my daughter in and let her sleep in the shopping cart while I grab what need. Just because it's 5 mins doesn't mean anything, it only takes a second for things to go from perfectly normal to tragedy.
n/a Akai_Hana 2017-05-19
Does your daughter call you Fabulous Faggot instead of Daddy?
n/a I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2017-05-19
/u/austinmiles How is your retarded story an excuse for leaving a kid alone in a car at 2am exactly?
This is called neglect you mongoloid and resulted in a child's murder.
n/a OniTan 2017-05-19
As many commenters pointed out to /u/austinmiles, the parents probably weren't at a dinner party until 2AM, and if they wanted to go out they could have gotten a babysitter.
n/a I_DRINK_TO_FORGET 2017-05-19
I can shit out a better scenario that would be a more reasoned explanation. I'm just in awe that he thinks his example is not fucking hilariously bad.
e.g Traveling accross the country with your kid and you don't want to waste money at a hotel, you stop for gas and run in to pay leaving the little gremlin sleeping in the car and it gets stolen.
But you're still retarded in this scenario because you have a fucking kid and hes your responsibility you shit, get a hotel instead of traveling at 2am.
n/a austinmiles 2017-05-19
We don't know why they were out at 2, and honestly, it's not important, but everyone wants to blame the victims rather than directing hate at the murders.
I'm not justifying her poor decision. I was just saying sometimes as a parent you justify things that could be lower risk...and with the current state of fear that everyone lives in, sometimes things that are scary are less risky than things that seem safe.
I would bet that driving on city streets during rush hour with your kids in the car is more dangerous than leaving them in the car while you go into a store late at night. (Other circumstances like leaving it on, and unlocked certainly would be mistakes)
Also, I was surprised the amount of attention that my comment got.
n/a OniTan 2017-05-19
Yes it is. Having a 6 year old in the car at 2AM is certainly not normal behavior unless it's a road trip or something. If they wanted to go out and party late into the night, it really calls their judgement into question to bring the kid when a babysitter could have been called.
The murderers have been arrested and will likely be in prison the rest of their lives. They're not getting off easy.
Sure, let's use your traffic analogy. If this woman got in an accident that was no fault of her own with the kid in the car and he died it would be tragic. If she got in an accident because she was drunk driving or speeding she would be irresponsible and her behavior would have caused his death. What she did isn't this bad, though.
If she wasn't doing any of the above but got in an accident because she had bald tires or defective brakes and never bothered to fix the problem, she would be negligent which would have contributed to his death. If the accident was no fault of her own at all but the child was killed because she didn't put him in a car seat or fasten his seat belt (depending on his age), she would be negligent which would have contributed to his death. What the mother in this story did is more along these lines.
n/a toynbeeidea16 2017-05-19
I will take some exception to that: I've had a job that involved some very late hours, and on school nights to boot. Worst outcome for me was falling asleep in class. And I don't know how many babysitters are available at 2AM, or what they cost.
n/a OniTan 2017-05-19
How old were you?
n/a toynbeeidea16 2017-05-19
Early 20s? It was in college.
n/a OniTan 2017-05-19
How old was your kid and where did he/she stay while you were working?
n/a toynbeeidea16 2017-05-19
Didn't have one.
And yes, I see where this is going: Parents are irresponsible, shouldn't have had the kid in the first place if they can't take care of it, etc. I hear ya, I even agree with you. I'm just saying, I can see a scenario where you're stuck hauling a kid around at 2AM. Still no excuse to leave the kid in the car.
n/a OniTan 2017-05-19
Well, if you had a child in that situation I certainly hope you wouldn't be leaving him in the car while you were working!
In most cases if you couldn't get a sitter you would just have to rearrange your life to fit the kid. That's just how it's done. If the other parent is involved you can share responsibilities. One works and the other babysits. If you're a single parent you would have to quit school and get a day job when sitters are available. Ask relatives to help. Apply for every welfare program.
n/a neutralvoter 2017-05-19
'Didn't have one.'
Then how the fuck is your stupid anecdote relevant?
Holy helly shit cake everyone in this thread is cancer
n/a babeigotastewgoing 2017-05-19
As a black person the only time I was in the car like that late at night is if I was sick with an upset stomach. He would have been up anyway if he had a cold or something anyway. You're young like that and you think your dying or that God is punishing you or something silly like that because it's never happened before.
That's the only way this makes sense to me. I love how the assumptions here are that she just had him in the car at that age because she was 'less responsible' or she didn't know what she was doing.
n/a changeling12 2017-05-19
I hope you see my other comment, but if not: the parents are not the victims. The child is the victim.
n/a jaco692cb 2017-05-19
YEAH THEY DINDU NUFFIN
n/a Chicup 2017-05-19
Of course it is.
n/a EvanHarper 2017-05-19
Yes, we do. They were coming back from a fucking night club you idiot
n/a snallygaster 2017-05-19
The crime happened in a particularly dangerous part of town at 2am in one of the most dangerous cities in America. That's incredibly high-risk. There's no justification for taking a risk like that unless they've lived in those circumstances so long that they've become immune to the risk. But even then, people should be vigilant when they have children. imo the culture of vigilance has gotten way too extreme, but this is on a different level than something like leaving your kid in the car when you run to the suburban grocery store at noon or letting an 8yo walk to their friend's house down the block.
Somebody did the math- you're a few times more likely to die by violent crime than a traffic accident in Jackson...
n/a OnePercentOfMonster 2017-05-19
omg i cry'd at the part were the parents bought their son lucky charms (his favorite) with the little money they had
this is sooooo sad :(
n/a CaLiKiNG805 2017-05-19
What kind of fucking jamoke goes on Advice animals?
n/a LSeww 2017-05-19
I was surprised to see black kid as an advice animal.
n/a addmeontinder 2017-05-19
/u/austinmiles aka autismiles (gotem) why do you want your children to die by leaving them in the cat at 2am?
Please respond.
n/a pepperouchau 2017-05-19
Making a kid live in Mississippi is already child abuse
n/a BanSameRaceRelations 2017-05-19
Not going to lie, I couldn't care less about strangers' kids. I think their children are their responsibility. Not mine. Unless they're family I don't care how they're being raised. I think the government should stay out of our homes and family lives. Sure, there is some abuse but government overreach is worse than a parent being retarded and ruining their own kid's life.
It's within a parent's genetic interests to raise the best child possible. If they don't want to, if they want to end their genes, then it's their choice. I just hate seeing all this cookie-cutter shit: "you have to raise your child the way the government says you hate" it create a country of fags.
n/a Bureaucrat-72 2017-05-19
#wewlad
n/a OnlyRacistOnReddit 2017-05-19
I'd be on your side /u/austinmiles if it hadn't been 2am. I think your scenario is stupid, and I have kids.
n/a austinmiles 2017-05-19
When I posted it most of the comments we saying how she was either out partying or doing drugs so I pushed it to the other extreme. It's not the likely scenario.
A more realistic personal possibility is that I take my kids to my brother in laws on a Thursday because the office is closed on Friday. They play with their cousins and sleep on the floor at 8:30 or 9. I have a couple of beers and hang out chatting and smoking a cigar on the porch. We get along well and don't hang out enough so we chill for a while. I midnight I decide to leave but get sucked into him mentioning that Trump is a better Christian than Obama is a Muslim. Suddenly it's 1:30 so I pack up the kids and leave and forget that I need to grab milk that my wife texted me about at 8:30 and I don't really want to irritate her in the morning.
I haven't left my kids in a parking lot at 2am, but this might be a place where that kind of risk assessment takes place.
The laws about leaving kids or dogs in cars has to do with heat in the summer. Not kidnappers or murders.
n/a neutralvoter 2017-05-19
"The laws about leaving kids or dogs in cars has to do with heat in the summer. Not kidnappers or murders."
please stop trolling /r/drama
n/a OniTan 2017-05-19
Then you suck it up and face your wife in the morning and then go get the milk.
n/a changeling12 2017-05-19
I posted this in the original thread, but I'll throw it in here, too:
The mother is responsible. She chose to leave her child unattended in an unsafe environment-she did not have to go to the store at that time, she did not have to leave him in the car, even if he was asleep, she did not have to leave the car running.
You are making the grave mistake of thinking that the mother was the victim. The mother was NOT the victim: the CHILD was. The child was a victim of neglect from the mother, and that lead to the child being a victim of murder. The mother was a victim of what exactly? Was she neglected? Was she kidnapped and then murdered?
If a police officer had walked by the car and spotted this 6 year old child in the car by himself, sleeping, with the car running, there is a very real possibility the mother would have criminal charges filed against her. That makes her the perpetrator, and the child the victim, of neglect.
I loathe this victim-culture where something tragic happens to someone and all of a sudden those close to the person are victims as well. If my wife gets murdered, am I the victim? No, that would be my wife, I am 'the victim's husband'. If my child is kidnapped, am I the victim? No! I'm the father of the victim.
I despise the victim-culture even more in this situation because the mother was the exact fucking opposite of a victim, and even though she wasn't the perpetrator of the murder, she still was the perpetrator of neglect; neglect that facilitated her son's murder. So, if it's alright with you, I will continue to blame the mother, and the murderers.
But holy-fucking-shit what I abhor above even the victim-culture is people like you, the apologists, because all you do is help perpetuate the victim-culture: 'Well, she isn't to blame because she just did what any smart parent would do; she has a life too, you know.' But that's bullshit. I've already said why it's bullshit, and that she is to blame, but let me address the 'smart parent comment as well.
I agree. But if you honestly think that the 'smart parent' compromise between wanting to go in a grocery store ('living their life') and having no one else to watch your sleeping child ('having a kid') is to leave him in a running car unattended at 2 AM in a parking lot, then I think that we must have different interpretations of 'smart parent' and 'compromise'. Because that is not a compromise, that is a trade; she traded living a life for having a kid.
It is possible to 'live a life' and provide basic safety to a child-the two are not mutually exclusive. In fact, parents who take time to care for their needs (health, social, emotional, spiritual, etc.) in a healthy way (no drugs) actually are able to provide their child with better parenting.
A part of basic safety is not leaving your child unattended. Another core idea of basic safety in parenting is to not expose your child to dangerous situations. Leaving a child in a running car counts as the child could have woken up and (potentially) driven the car. Leaving a child in a running car in public is even more dangerous, as now not only is the child in a situation in which he might hurt himself, but also, he is in a situation where others can potentially hurt him.
To you, and every one who up-voted your comment: please, in all seriousness, consider the consequences of subscribing to this mentality-for the effects it will have on your self, and on your loved ones, and on our society as a whole. Keep in mind what constitutes a victim-I get it when bad things happen to those close to us it makes us feel bad, and it is tragic, but that doesn't make us the victim. And understand the consequences of finding excuses for those who have made mistakes (especially ourselves). If we have this mentality, we'll never grow because we're incapable of holding ourselves and each other accountable.
n/a snallygaster 2017-05-19
If they weren't responsible for the tragedy, then they are victims. They have to live with the tragedy weighing on them for the rest of their lives every day. Even worse when the media gets involved and hounds them while they're trying to grieve and makes them relive the tragedy every year until it fades from public memory. If you look at family members of highly-publicized cases like 9/11 or disappearances, the deaths of their loved ones have completely changed the course of their lives, oftentimes for the worst. Lots of alcoholism, suicides, and PTSD and lots of people who never stop grieving. My SO's dad died in 9/11, and every time I hang out with his mother and brother, it seems like the tragedy pervades every aspect of their existence despite (his mother at least) largely having healed. It will never go away. And in hearing some stories about other kids who lost their parents, it's pretty clear that the ones who grew up well-adjusted are in the minority.
n/a changeling12 2017-05-19
Allow me to just, before anything, say thank you so very much for your reply, it just so perfectly exemplifies exactly what I was discussing.
That being said, let's talk about this:
I LOVE this, for two reasons. Because 1: it implies that, somehow, the mother was not responsible for the tragedy, which is, laughable in and of itself, and 2: that anyone not responsible for a tragedy is automatically a victim of it, which is the exact 'victim-culture' mindset I loathe.
What happened was tragic, but the individuals themselves are not victims of 9/11, their loved ones were, and it somehow feels dishonorable to take that away from the actual victims.
n/a snallygaster 2017-05-19
Who was talking about the mother? In this scenario she was clearly at fault.
If a traumatic event drives someone to suicide, drug abuse, alcoholism, mental illness, etc. just as a survivor of violent crime would, then arguing over whether or not they should be considered victims is splitting hairs. There's been a ton of research into caretakers of loved ones with terminal illness, and on average they tend to suffer from higher rates of distress and mental illness than the dying people they're taking care of. Parents of abducted children relive the day of abduction every day without closure. Couples who've had baby-loss crumble because they can't contend with it. Unless you're just being ultra-protective about the word 'victim' for whatever reason, it's kind of dumb to hand-wave the trauma and suffering that family members of victims have to contend with just because they weren't directly subject to something.
n/a OniTan 2017-05-19
Did you mean to reply to /u/austinmiles?
n/a changeling12 2017-05-19
I just wanted it posted somewhere in here; I hope he/she sees it but if not at least others can.
n/a neutralvoter 2017-05-19
lol "it's like a 1/1,000,000 chance that anything could happen (seriously look it up)"
Yes, scientists conducted a ten year study where every case of 'child left in car for a couple minutes' was carefully documented and longitudinally followed up on. Out of the precisely 1 million cases, one resulted in the kidnapping of the child.' In a control study, 1 million dolls were left in a car briefly. In three cases, dolls were stolen. Therefore, we conclude that there is a statistically significantly greater chance of having a doll stolen than a kid. This study was funded by Ramsey incorporated.
n/a ason 2017-05-19
God damn, what a melodramatic faggot.