Cash Me Outside coming to a town near you in manifestation of American dream.

34  2017-05-23 by GodsSoldierAscendant

35 comments

Buzzword is, itself, a buzzword now.

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Cash Me Ousside girl Danielle Bregoli, 14, demands a 50-inch TV, three fidget spinners, and a fruit platter with no pineapple on her £40k per show US tour

I always wondered what Van Halen would be like, if super autistic.

Don't bring Eddie into this. It's disrespectful.

Sadly, we required her parents to beat her to death with her own shoes, and they've failed to deliver.

Did you ever hear David Lee Roth talk about those crazy riders? He said they were there as obvious signs into how seriously the promoters took the voluminous technical requirements of their live stage act. If they didn't take the time to remove the brown M&Ms, how could they trust them to rig the pyro and floating drum cage correctly?

Yeah, because the same folks who sort M&Ms will be the ones rigging the pyro...

I mean, maybe that's why they did it, but it was still pretty stupid.

She needs to be taking advantage of the situation way more than she is.

Interesting story, the Brown M&M test wasn't just because Van Halen went around, being all over-vaccinated and shit. They had really peculiar demands because of all the pyrotechnic displays that were laid out in their contract riders. One venue figured they'd just ballpark some of their requirements, and a roadie almost died because of poor construction.

Requiring only brown M&M's was their canary-in-the-coal-mine to tell whether a venue was following shit to the letter.

how did a supposedly omniscient god fuck up so badly when creating his pièce de résistance

Are her 15 minutes still not over yet?

Fuck I wish. She has a legion of spoiled teenage girls who wish they could be insufferable cunts like her all the time.

It's like someone realized Paris Hilton appealed almost exclusively to poor trashy white girls, so the powers that be decided the next big thing was to make a poorer, trashier Paris Hilton for the masses.

Nah, there was a regression. She was another step down from Snooki.

Yeah but Snooki wasn't a white girl so it's marketing impact was diminished.

Anyone who goes to this show should get the Manchester treatment

That's a little much, but she does make burkas and stoning look attractive.

Honest to god, the world would be a better place without her

So I guess this is her plan until she's old enough to do porn

I mean, we've all that countdown clock started, right?

Although my money is less on "real" porn and more on semi-nude appearances on rap videos a la: https://www.reddit.com/r/hiphopheads/comments/6azc0v/fresh_video_ygpop_it_shake_it_ft_dj_mustard/

That's the most offensive part of all this

sniff

It's...beautiful...

House of Wax

but why?

I think she picked random things because that's funny to 14 year olds. See Nickelodeon sitcoms.

That has to be it cause house of wax came out in 2005 she was 2 or maybe she is a really big paris hilton fan.

According to the report, the brash teen’s act will consists of three parts and will open with her lip syncing and rapping her favourite songs.

The second part will involve Danielle, who has 9.6 million Instagram followers, conducting a question and answer session with her adoring fans.

She will then close the show by inviting audience members on stage where she will “joke around” with them, the website reports

ISIS attacked the wrong event

Sounds like a hell of a show.

9.6 million Instagram followers

damn america has a lot of paedos

Who the the fuck cares what some thotty little twat with mentally disabled parents thinks about fuck anything? I get that not-so-normies need this sort of shit to keep the world from crushing their mediocre spirits but could they go any lower? What a lame-ass lolcow. She's a wiggery little white bitch who isn't even old enough to call a bitch. She's a fuckin understudy for a gender-bent version of Malibu's Most Wanted that didn't ever get made made. She's...

Fuck, I think I just got it. It's easy to feel superior to her and she's funny in a trash ho sort of way. This Kid's Tom Sawyer-tier Americana material. Mayocide now?

Ugh.

According to the report, the brash teen’s act will consists of three parts and will open with her lip syncing and rapping her favourite songs.

The second part will involve Danielle, who has 9.6 million Instagram followers, conducting a question and answer session with her adoring fans.

She will then close the show by inviting audience members on stage where she will “joke around” with them, the website reports.

Sounds like a hell of a show.

Life is doing a good job at triggering me these days

People are paying for this?

She's got very big tits for a 14 year old

a DVD player for viewing the Paris Hilton film “House of Wax”

?

Why isn't she a mod here yet?

rapping her favourite songs

God truely has abandoned us

Danielle became annoyed at the "w***s" – aka audience members – who were laughing at her.

I cannot for the life of me figure out what the hell that censored word is.

weebs