For those that don't know a Tulpa is an imaginary friend that delusional people believe are real, but totally isn't a mental disorder because "it doesn't cause distress". One of the people involved in this exchange, /u/CambrianCrew was featured in a podcast called Reply All where she goes into detail about how her fanfiction led her to making up imaginary friends and her husband divorced her because he didn't approve of her wishes for her Tulpa to be in a relationship with another person's Tulpa. It's basically headmates on steroids.
I'm flattered you took the time to look through it. As for the answer, the answer closest to correct is crazy due to some pretty severe depersonalization/derealization and a few other things, but the funny thing is that the reason we are legally crazy is something completely different and the law being out of date. Interestingly, having more than one in here (of which only a few are tulpas) is not the reason we are crazy.
Hail Fall actually does have Dissociative Identity Disorder as well as tulpas. Their psychologist actually recommended they create a tulpa in order to help stabilize their system. They did and it helped them. They're also pretty successful in the real world. So, yeah.
Oh shit. I knew someone like this way back. He grew up in bumfuck nowhere so I figured it was a way to keep his brain active or something. I hope he didn't take it this seriously, shit
Did you miss the part of the podcast where Dr. Richard Lowenstein, the head of a trauma disorders center, discussed why it's not a disorder? Or that we'd seen a professional therapist who said the same thing?
Oh, and that
he didn't approve of her wishes for her Tulpa to be in a relationship with another person's Tulpa
is an annoyingly common misconception people tend to have when hearing this, and we discussed it in our Q and A.
Basically, very long story short, while Varyn and Timbre did indeed have feelings for each other, they decided to be open with each other about how they were feeling so that, armed with that information, they could create the boundaries they needed to stay as they were: just friends. Just because they were attracted didn't mean they had to act on it. I may not be able to control V no more so than I can any other person, but he's got a hell of a lot of self control.
For the record, I absolutely do NOT feel that way about Timbre. Kinda the opposite really. I find T to be a bit intimidating, and hard to understand. Both he and Varyn struggle with language, and tend to use this weird symbol speak with each other that makes perfect sense to each other but is like some foreign language poetry to me. T has even several times helped to explain to me what V had been trying to tell me because I find Varyn hard to understand sometimes and we're in the same head.
Anyway. V was willing to give up his friendship with the one person who understands him best. All his friendships. His own life, even.
My ex wasn't satisfied with that. He wanted me to "get rid of" all my tulpas. Believed them to be either demons (but Jas and Varyn are Christian ...) or signs of mental illness (despite us seeing a therapist who straight up told him and I that they're not.)
He thought that me not wanting to do that was me "choosing my friends over him".
I've had Jas longer than I've even known him. Literally half my life at this point. "Getting rid of" her wouldn't be like calling up a friend and going "Sorry, we can't hang out anymore." It would be like locking someone up in a closet where no one can hear them but you, and slowly starving them to death over a period of months or years until they finally fade away.
He finally "compromised". OK, keep them, he said. But you all have to never talk to anyone in the tulpa or plurality community ever again and I never want to see or hear about them ever again. Don't talk about them to anyone else ever again.
Which would have been nearly as bad. OK so they wouldn't die. But they'd be completely isolated and unable to talk to anyone who understands who and what they are.
Which would have been like locking them up in a house, isolating them from all contact with the outside world. Starving them, not from food/energy, but from friendship and understanding.
Plus completely removing me from a community of great friends who not only helped me finally understand what I had been experiencing for half my life, but also clued me in to how so many other things my ex did were abusive. (Which was then backed up by other local friends and our therapist. "What? No, I'm not abusive, how dare you let people think that about me." OK then stop doing like 90% of the things on pretty much every list of "Types of abuse"! "No, I'm not abusive.")
He and I went to therapy for awhile, we both refused to budge on that, and for me this was the final straw. He was
emotionally, verbally, and psychologically abusive. And he was controlling in so many ways, trying to dictate what I read, watched, things I found interesting, who I talked to and about what, what I (at least openly) believed... Him trying to force me to do something I found completely unconscionable like kill or at least completely socially isolate my tulpas was just not going to happen. Do what you want to me, but you're not going to extend your abuse to them if I can at all help it.
Lol imagine being so delusional that while your man was out making paper during the day you were at home creating imaginary friends to be in relationships with other people's imaginary friends. It's like a mix of 4th dimensional cucking and fanfic LARPing.
Really, how can you even call yourself a Christian if you valued imaginary friends over your own husband?
Lol imagine being so delusional that while your man was out making paper during the day you were at home creating imaginary friends to be in relationships with other people's imaginary friends. It's like a mix of 4th dimensional cucking and fanfic LARPing.
I work in a nursing home despite having chronic illness that would qualify me for disability as soon as I stop killing myself at work. (Fibromyalgia, and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. EDS is a genetic condition that causes my joints to be super loose and to dislocate easily. Easily 50+ partial dislocations every single work day. Shoulders, hips, knees, and ankles are the worst for me.)
Not just spending my time at home doing nothing productive.
In fact, Jas is the only one I created, and that was when I was in high school. Jas created Varyn, together they made/found Doc and Aery.
Really, how can you even call yourself a Christian if you valued imaginary friends over your own husband?
I don't believe them to be imaginary. In fact I know that they're not. Sure they don't have physical bodies of their own. But they have minds and wills of their own, and have proven well enough that theirs are not mine. I believe they have their own souls just like any other person. And I believe that just as it would be wrong to kill or intentionally harm any other person, it would be wrong to do so to them. And that is something I absolutely will not compromise on.
The title of this thread refers to us as "schizophrenics". In actuality, the closest disorder to what we experience is Dissociative Identity Disorder. (Just like it was talked about in the podcast. If you don't want to listen to it, just read the transcript. Ctrl+F: "Richard", you'll go to the part where Laura interviewed psychiatrists and asked them about this.) In DID, instead of there being one person in charge of the brain and body, there's many. A system. Each person in a system has their own mind, their own memories, their own ways of thinking and doing things and feelings about things. Their own unique perspective. Trying to treat them like they're all the same person is unhealthy and counterproductive because they simply are not the same person.
DID systems have unique problems and challenges because of their disorder and how it is formed from trauma. Dissociation, amnesia, and difficulty cooperating with one another, plus PTSD and trauma memories.
But still they are, like us-Crew, many people sharing space in one body, and deserve to be treated as such.
I don't believe them to be imaginary. In fact I know that they're not.[...]they have minds and wills of their own
lol no they don't ya dummy. They literally don't exist beyond what you imagine. They have no more free will than what you would imagine clever bot having free will.
You fell for a troll pretending that he created a sentient bottle of windex for christ's sake and assumed this was not only par-for-the-course normal behavior but encouraged it. This isn't your everyday kool-aid here
You think that's bad? I'm 100% straight, but my tulpa IS NOT. That's fine, I once talked to a gay kid in high school so you know I'm cool with that. I don't have any gay friends now, but that's more a product of me not having any friends and spending much of my time inside, screaming. Also I cry when I see a tree, so the outside would can be challenging for me.
Anyway, my tupla is gay as the day is long, which is whatever. I don't care what Kingsnake does with his ghostly, spectral cock. But Kingsnake also has an ability your tulpa might not have: he can engage in psychic "battles" with me and if he bests me, he gets to take over my body for a few hours. Ooo, that boy is filthy!
So neither of us can actually fight, even on planes where only our chi exists. I wish! My aura is purple and Kingsnake's is green so if that's how it worked, I could easily take him. But no, we end up battling via hallucinatory N64 games and honestly I never liked that controller very much so I lose basically all the time.
So Kingsnake inhabit me damn near weekly. I know you've heard of gay tulpas but not like this. And he's not just looking for "tulpeen", as it were. No, he gets off on the real meat. And afterward he likes me-as-him to uhhh...gargle the finished product.
...yeah.
So keep that in mind when we're talking tulproblems, because yeah, my marriage is suffering a bit too.
They can't officially diagnose but they can tell if something is diagnosable or not. Even though I have a diagnosis of depression through my pcp, we went through the stuff for both depression (yep) and generalized anxiety (nope.) If I didn't already have the dx and medicine for it, he said he would have recommended I talk to my dr or a psychiatrist in his practice about that.
Also my therapist consulted with that psychiatrist supervisor, as well as a couple of others about my case (with my permission.) If seeing them was needed he would have scheduled me up with one.
I didn't need that. I needed help to talk to my ex about things that he disagreed with and upset him, without me getting so frustrated with him and upset that I went nonverbal and without him shutting me down or refusing to work with me on my attempts to communicate with him while unable to speak (writing or texting is fine, just can't actually get words out of my mouth). We'd had issues with that before, but never to quite the same extent as whenever the topic of my Crew came up.
Before we got married we never had any serious disagreements. Nothing that I wasn't OK with just giving in to him on. But the longer we were married, the more we did and the more he tried to push the whole "I'm the husband, I'm the head of the family, what I say goes because someone has to lead and that's supposed to be me" thing on me, and while things started out fairly mild within a few years it went from being things I was just uncomfortable disagreeing about and therefore willing to just "yes dear" on so as to avoid a fight, to "no, this is where I stand my ground".
Ibreally hope the husband made sure this divorce case went up in front of a judge. Let everyone else in court that day have a story to tell, open and shut case
If I could be a fly on the wall anywhere it'd be the the moment she claims to the judge she's being emotionally abused because her husband won't enable her delusions.
We settled it very amicably, just through a lawyer who wrote up paperwork basically stating irreconcilable differences and splitting up assets and debt.
I should have gone after him for the cost to replace my computer that he stole and dismantled, but it wasn't worth the effort. I got a newer, better one, eventually. Lost a lot of irreplacable work on it -- some rough drafts of stories, some art and programming projects, old resumes and cover letters, stuff like that. But most of the important stuff I had backed up in the cloud so it wasn't too bad.
Why would I have even needed to? I live in a state where a reason for divorce isn't required. We agreed, we divided things up equally (though for a brief while he thought he was going to get both cars... Yeah, no. Equitable distribution.)
And I would have cited the actual Abuse.
The gaslighting. I'd do something, or he would, and then deny it happened and make me feel like I was crazy/accused me of lying to him because he didn't remember it.
The several day long silent treatment.
The cutting me off from friends and family who he didn't like (this is WAY beyond just the online community, this had been going on here and there for years.)
Being constantly criticized for liking/enjoying anything he didn't like or approve of. ("It's not Godly to read all that fantasy, science fiction, and psychology stuff! Read more historical and science books! Be in the real world!" he said while watching/obsessing over Star Wars/Buddhist space knights. Meanwhile I was rereading, for comfort after a bad day, one of my favorite books in the Young Wizards series about teen wizards who use God's gift of magic to defeat Space Satan's plan to end all life in the universe. But I'm the one with un-Christian interests. OK then. )
Threatened to destroy my stuff. Actually did a couple of times.
Treated me like a child who was never allowed to disagree with him or do or say anything that might make him look even the least bit not perfect to other people. Telling anyone else, even my own mom who I used to talk to about EVERYTHING, if he had done something that upset me, was being "emotionally unfaithful" and reason for him to blow up at me.
The extreme jealousy. Heaven forbid I talk to any guy ever, but he could to any girl.
Extremely hypersensitive. If I ever disagreed with any of his views or opinions or asked him to tone down yet another one of his frequent rants, usually threats of passive aggressive "accidents"/violence towards other people, I was accused of not supporting him, not loving him, not being a "good faithful Christian wife." Heaven forbid I suggest that it might be a bit Not Good to consider "accidentally" slashing the tires of a coworker who did something innocent, out of miscommunication/forgetfulness, that he felt was a personal attack. I wonder what sort of things he thought about doing to me when he was angry, and who he told that to.
Over time, all these things were getting more and more frequent, and more and more severe.
I was stressed all the time, anxious, fearful of upsetting him again. My health was going very downhill -- fibromyalgia flares are often triggered by stress. I have no doubts that if we hadn't divorced, even if I had never discovered tulpamancy and realized what these folks in my head are, that by now I would be completely disabled and bedridden more often than not. I was having one or two flares a month, each lasting several days, those last six months, and they were severe enough to make me unable to walk.
I haven't had one like that in nearly a year, and the last one I had that bad was after working a 16 hour shift. In the last year, I've only had a couple of flares, and they've been pretty mild by comparison. A couple of days of bad flulike pain and exhaustion, but not "I physically need help to stand up but don't touch me it hurts."
For someone like me who values my independence and self-sufficiency, the thought of being literally unable to work and take care of myself and my responsibilities, is an absolute nightmare.
TLDR: Emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse, which contributed to much worsening stress and anxiety and exacerbated my fibromyalgia which is already hell to deal with.
Here's the Urban Dictionary definition of HeadMate :
A headmate is an "Alter" of someone who has Dissociative Identity Disorder. A headmate is their own person who has split off from the original person's mind, who has their own separate wants, goals, needs, gender, age, etc
These headmates are usually formed as a coping mechanism, helping the person with DID to survive the traumatic experiences that they have been a victim to. A collection of headmates including the host is called a Multiple/Median System.
Due to the large amount of systems on Tumblr, it has been wrongly labelled as a "Tumblr trend" and been accused of mocking mental illness, despite it being a mental disorder in itself.
Yeah it's 100% a mental illness. My tulpa who is a gay schizophrenic Kākāpō who has a drinking problem told me this.
The term originated in an entirely separate community, Soulbonding. Basically the definition but only referring to ones that believe they are literally characters from a fictional universe. The term has since expanded to an umbrella term for any kind of being you share a head with.
Most DID/OSDD systems don't use that term, and use Systemmate or Alter instead.
On soulbonding -- it's basically this but intentional:
Imagine being a grown adult who understands what mental disorders are but still refuse to admit that you're fucking crazy for making up imaginary friends and telling yourself that they are real. This is like the shit you see on /r/magick or /r/occult but 1000x more autistic.
Imagine being an adult who thinks they know what a disorder is better than the professionals who've been in the mental health industry for decades.
Many of us have seen therapists or psychiatrists. We Crew have. /u/Fordaplot has and did a YouTube video on the experience. Laura Klivens who interviewed us talked to several experts. They all said the same: not a disorder.
But yeah, you here who don't even know what the disorder is actually called (ie, NOT "split personality disorder" and definitely not schizophrenia which is a whole different can of worms). You here who think you're qualified to armchair diagnose us. Apparently you know soooo much more than the people who actually do that as a job. Go you.
Weak ass comeback tbh. Yeah I read it, it reeked of butthurt and delusion. Honest question, how can your imaginary friend have free will of their own and not actually be rooted in your own subconscious? Is there some bullshit otherkin "soul" bullshit here? I can't be bothered to do serious research into your little cult so you'll have to answer here if you truly care about what others think. Which according to your posts here, is sadly true.
Yes, I'm sure "experts" are definitely agreeing that conjuring mystical entities are definitely real and not in your fucking head. What I understand is that you're either part of a cult or you're LARPing so hard up your ass that you thought your shit was communicating with you.
Whether or not having imaginary friends as an adult is technically a "mental illness" is irrelevant. Basically, that would be like saying anyone who prays to God is mentally ill. Plain and simple, it's fucking stupid and if you think it's anything beyond your own mind then you are delusional.
We know they're not literally physical beings. Duh.
They're minds.
Not brains, only got one of those and all of us in the Crew have to share it.
Minds.
All the things that make you you, a person, not just a body.
Your thoughts. Your memory. Your personality. Your likes and dislikes. Your opinions. Your hopes. Your dreams. Your fears. Your morals. Your perspective.
That whole combination of things that makes you a unique mind, a unique person.
That's what I AM.
This body is just something I HAVE. The actual person inside is so much more than just this physical shell. And it really is what's inside that counts.
Same thing with my tulpas. They don't have bodies of their own. But they do have minds. Personalities. Wills of their own.
And that's what makes them real people.
We tend to think of it as kinda a hardware/software/OS thing. The body is our shared hardware. But we're running different sets of software on different operating systems.
Most people only have one set of hardware and software and one OS. They look at the whole package and think that's one person.
Then you have plurals like us Crew, who have several different operating systems. We view each operating system as its own person, because it's a self-contained intelligence. We think it's that that defines and distinguishes each person, not the set of hardware.
Hardware changes. Hardware is replacable. You lose a limb, you're not less of a person than you were before. You replace one with a prosthetic, you're not a different person than you were before.
But if someone's personality and perspective wildly changes, due to either personal growth or serious mental illness, you might say "They're just not the same person anymore." And if the body is alive but the mind is no longer functioning and the brain isn't doing anything beyond just keeping the body alive, you might say "So and so is gone." "The light's on but nobody's home." Etc.
Legally, yeah, they're still the same person. And with personal growth stuff, it's a Theseus ship situation.
But still. We recognize, instinctively, that the actual person isn't the body-machine but the mind that drives it and operates it. As the operating system inside the hardware running the software.
So. Yes. They really do exist, as people, as intangible minds. The same as anyone else really does.
And that's not something we can prove yet with science. The question of what makes a person a person, what is consciousness, what is sentience, what is the mind, etc, is a metaphysical question. And metaphysics (the branch of philosphophy, not the synonym for paranormal things) is not something that can really completely be measured and tested like physics can. We can debate it all day long, but we're not going to come to any conclusions. Nothing that hasn't already been discussed for millennia by philosophers the world over.
Oh for fuck's sake. Yeah I took a philosophy class after 101, and this is a bunch of pseudo intellectual bullshit that doesn't do anything for a discussion.
This is the same shit that moron new age christfags do with quantum physics: a poorly understood and difficult concept that only offers epistemic proof for the science it engages with, and not for extrapolated out of context rambling that totalizes other thought patterns with the intent of dismissing any dismissal by claiming that it has already been incorporated and accounted for. Circular fucking nonsense from people who like to pretend they understand the mysteries of the universe, especially when they claim they don't understand, or cannot understand. This type of false humble advocacy of BS is an evasive tactic to avoid the essential backasswardsness of their logic.
I have no patience for philosophies that don't engage with humanity and dodge inconvenient questions by making the idea so nebulous that it's impossible to quantify. That's some faggot shit right there and anyone who seriously claims to think like that is a faggot.
Here's the Urban Dictionary definition ofHeadMate :
A headmate is an "Alter" of someone who has Dissociative Identity Disorder. A headmate is their own person who has split off from the original person's mind, who has their own separate wants, goals, needs, gender, age, etc.
These headmates are usually formed as a coping mechanism, helping the person with DID to survive the traumatic experiences that they have been a victim to. A collection of headmates including the host is called a Multiple/Median System.
Due to the large amount of systems on Tumblr, it has been wrongly labelled as a "Tumblr trend" and been accused of mocking mental illness, despite it being a mental disorder in itself.
30, soon to be 31. I've had Jas since I was 15. And I learned to accept that I am not my body, I am my mind, from early on -- dealt with pretty severe depression in my teens, and learned that intrusive thoughts aren't really Me, they're just my brain being a dick/glitching. And I've always believed -- I'd rather not being religion in on top of this so take it metaphorically if you will -- "You do not have a soul. You are a soul, you have a body." This is kinda the basis of my whole philosophy. I am definitely some kind of dualist, and it seems like most of y'all here are essential materialists. That's fine, but we're not going to see eye to eye on philosophical things if you believe that everything is matter, and I don't.
Anyways.
"Headmates" comes from the old soulbonding community back in the 90s -- people who form/discover tulpa-like entities that believe they are literally the characters from a fictional universe. My tulpas believe this to be true for them, where I'm much more skeptical on that point. I've learned it's futile to try and argue them out of that belief though, and to just accept them as they are.
Basically these days though, "headmate" refers to any other people you share space in your head with regardless of origin, though people with Dissociative Identity Disorder tend to refer to theirs instead mostly as alters or systemmates. Or if their others are less distinct and defined, as facets or fragments or parts. (Much more common in OSDD-1.)
No such thing as "split personality disorder". It used to be Multiple Personality Disorder, but in the 90's the name was officially changed (in most of the world anyway, including the USA) to Dissociative Identity Disorder.
Criteria for DID, and the rest of the section on DID and OSDD, in this album of pictures of my copy of the DSM-V. https://imgur.com/a/aUy5t
yeah sorry I knew split wasnt correct but I didnt bother to look up what the correct term was, I just new that schizophrenia is often used to call this disorder but it is wrong.
82 comments
n/a SnapshillBot 2017-05-30
Did you know that the bathtub was first marketed in north america as a horse trough and dog scalder?
Snapshots:
I am a bot. (Info / Contact)
n/a lifesbrink 2017-05-30
WAT.
n/a ilizabitch 2017-05-30
n/a YHofSuburbia 2017-05-30
12,979 now.
n/a FranciscoRG 2017-05-30
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DESTROY THE SITH, NOT JOIN THEM
n/a lifesbrink 2017-05-30
I think I'm getting sick. Let's just hope it's all insecure 12 year olds.
n/a I_need_to_be_killed 2017-05-30
Am 23
n/a Tzcar 2017-05-30
I think that's one of the elective classes you can take in Harry Potter.
n/a SamWhite 2017-05-30
That's a great fucking troll right there.
n/a Peetrius 2017-05-30
For those that don't know a Tulpa is an imaginary friend that delusional people believe are real, but totally isn't a mental disorder because "it doesn't cause distress". One of the people involved in this exchange, /u/CambrianCrew was featured in a podcast called Reply All where she goes into detail about how her fanfiction led her to making up imaginary friends and her husband divorced her because he didn't approve of her wishes for her Tulpa to be in a relationship with another person's Tulpa. It's basically headmates on steroids.
n/a enderhart 2017-05-30
Check out /u/hail_fall 's comment history. Crazy or LARPer? We may never know.
n/a hail_fall 2017-05-30
I'm flattered you took the time to look through it. As for the answer, the answer closest to correct is crazy due to some pretty severe depersonalization/derealization and a few other things, but the funny thing is that the reason we are legally crazy is something completely different and the law being out of date. Interestingly, having more than one in here (of which only a few are tulpas) is not the reason we are crazy.
-- Breach
n/a enderhart 2017-05-30
Can I get a second opinion from one of your headmates? 😂
n/a CambrianCrew 2017-05-30
Hail Fall actually does have Dissociative Identity Disorder as well as tulpas. Their psychologist actually recommended they create a tulpa in order to help stabilize their system. They did and it helped them. They're also pretty successful in the real world. So, yeah.
n/a DoctorMort 2017-05-30
Wow. And here I thought it was impossible to be crazier than the otherkins/therians.
I wonder what these retards will think of next.
n/a Trilosaurus 2017-05-30
Oh shit. I knew someone like this way back. He grew up in bumfuck nowhere so I figured it was a way to keep his brain active or something. I hope he didn't take it this seriously, shit
n/a CambrianCrew 2017-05-30
Did you miss the part of the podcast where Dr. Richard Lowenstein, the head of a trauma disorders center, discussed why it's not a disorder? Or that we'd seen a professional therapist who said the same thing?
Oh, and that
is an annoyingly common misconception people tend to have when hearing this, and we discussed it in our Q and A.
Basically, very long story short, while Varyn and Timbre did indeed have feelings for each other, they decided to be open with each other about how they were feeling so that, armed with that information, they could create the boundaries they needed to stay as they were: just friends. Just because they were attracted didn't mean they had to act on it. I may not be able to control V no more so than I can any other person, but he's got a hell of a lot of self control.
For the record, I absolutely do NOT feel that way about Timbre. Kinda the opposite really. I find T to be a bit intimidating, and hard to understand. Both he and Varyn struggle with language, and tend to use this weird symbol speak with each other that makes perfect sense to each other but is like some foreign language poetry to me. T has even several times helped to explain to me what V had been trying to tell me because I find Varyn hard to understand sometimes and we're in the same head.
Anyway. V was willing to give up his friendship with the one person who understands him best. All his friendships. His own life, even.
My ex wasn't satisfied with that. He wanted me to "get rid of" all my tulpas. Believed them to be either demons (but Jas and Varyn are Christian ...) or signs of mental illness (despite us seeing a therapist who straight up told him and I that they're not.)
He thought that me not wanting to do that was me "choosing my friends over him".
I've had Jas longer than I've even known him. Literally half my life at this point. "Getting rid of" her wouldn't be like calling up a friend and going "Sorry, we can't hang out anymore." It would be like locking someone up in a closet where no one can hear them but you, and slowly starving them to death over a period of months or years until they finally fade away.
He finally "compromised". OK, keep them, he said. But you all have to never talk to anyone in the tulpa or plurality community ever again and I never want to see or hear about them ever again. Don't talk about them to anyone else ever again.
Which would have been nearly as bad. OK so they wouldn't die. But they'd be completely isolated and unable to talk to anyone who understands who and what they are.
Which would have been like locking them up in a house, isolating them from all contact with the outside world. Starving them, not from food/energy, but from friendship and understanding.
Plus completely removing me from a community of great friends who not only helped me finally understand what I had been experiencing for half my life, but also clued me in to how so many other things my ex did were abusive. (Which was then backed up by other local friends and our therapist. "What? No, I'm not abusive, how dare you let people think that about me." OK then stop doing like 90% of the things on pretty much every list of "Types of abuse"! "No, I'm not abusive.")
He and I went to therapy for awhile, we both refused to budge on that, and for me this was the final straw. He was emotionally, verbally, and psychologically abusive. And he was controlling in so many ways, trying to dictate what I read, watched, things I found interesting, who I talked to and about what, what I (at least openly) believed... Him trying to force me to do something I found completely unconscionable like kill or at least completely socially isolate my tulpas was just not going to happen. Do what you want to me, but you're not going to extend your abuse to them if I can at all help it.
n/a CptJoiJoi 2017-05-30
www.pages.drexel.edu/~dft29/Stand_Generator/Stand-Generation-Overdrive.html
It's unfair you get multiple Stands but can you at least give them cool names?
n/a grungebot5000 2017-05-30
thank you for your service
n/a Peetrius 2017-05-30
Lol imagine being so delusional that while your man was out making paper during the day you were at home creating imaginary friends to be in relationships with other people's imaginary friends. It's like a mix of 4th dimensional cucking and fanfic LARPing.
Really, how can you even call yourself a Christian if you valued imaginary friends over your own husband?
n/a CambrianCrew 2017-05-30
I work in a nursing home despite having chronic illness that would qualify me for disability as soon as I stop killing myself at work. (Fibromyalgia, and Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. EDS is a genetic condition that causes my joints to be super loose and to dislocate easily. Easily 50+ partial dislocations every single work day. Shoulders, hips, knees, and ankles are the worst for me.)
Not just spending my time at home doing nothing productive.
In fact, Jas is the only one I created, and that was when I was in high school. Jas created Varyn, together they made/found Doc and Aery.
I don't believe them to be imaginary. In fact I know that they're not. Sure they don't have physical bodies of their own. But they have minds and wills of their own, and have proven well enough that theirs are not mine. I believe they have their own souls just like any other person. And I believe that just as it would be wrong to kill or intentionally harm any other person, it would be wrong to do so to them. And that is something I absolutely will not compromise on.
The title of this thread refers to us as "schizophrenics". In actuality, the closest disorder to what we experience is Dissociative Identity Disorder. (Just like it was talked about in the podcast. If you don't want to listen to it, just read the transcript. Ctrl+F: "Richard", you'll go to the part where Laura interviewed psychiatrists and asked them about this.) In DID, instead of there being one person in charge of the brain and body, there's many. A system. Each person in a system has their own mind, their own memories, their own ways of thinking and doing things and feelings about things. Their own unique perspective. Trying to treat them like they're all the same person is unhealthy and counterproductive because they simply are not the same person.
DID systems have unique problems and challenges because of their disorder and how it is formed from trauma. Dissociation, amnesia, and difficulty cooperating with one another, plus PTSD and trauma memories.
But still they are, like us-Crew, many people sharing space in one body, and deserve to be treated as such.
n/a Peetrius 2017-05-30
lol no they don't ya dummy. They literally don't exist beyond what you imagine. They have no more free will than what you would imagine clever bot having free will.
You fell for a troll pretending that he created a sentient bottle of windex for christ's sake and assumed this was not only par-for-the-course normal behavior but encouraged it. This isn't your everyday kool-aid here
n/a CambrianCrew 2017-05-30
How do you know your mind exists? That you're not just someone else's made up thoughts, deluded into thinking you have free will?
Can you prove that you're conscious?
n/a Peetrius 2017-05-30
https://www.biography.com/.image/t_share/MTE1ODA0OTcxMjY3MzYwMjY5/rene-descartes-37613-1-402.jpg
n/a itsaboyffxiv 2017-05-30
You think that's bad? I'm 100% straight, but my tulpa IS NOT. That's fine, I once talked to a gay kid in high school so you know I'm cool with that. I don't have any gay friends now, but that's more a product of me not having any friends and spending much of my time inside, screaming. Also I cry when I see a tree, so the outside would can be challenging for me.
Anyway, my tupla is gay as the day is long, which is whatever. I don't care what Kingsnake does with his ghostly, spectral cock. But Kingsnake also has an ability your tulpa might not have: he can engage in psychic "battles" with me and if he bests me, he gets to take over my body for a few hours. Ooo, that boy is filthy!
So neither of us can actually fight, even on planes where only our chi exists. I wish! My aura is purple and Kingsnake's is green so if that's how it worked, I could easily take him. But no, we end up battling via hallucinatory N64 games and honestly I never liked that controller very much so I lose basically all the time.
So Kingsnake inhabit me damn near weekly. I know you've heard of gay tulpas but not like this. And he's not just looking for "tulpeen", as it were. No, he gets off on the real meat. And afterward he likes me-as-him to uhhh...gargle the finished product.
...yeah.
So keep that in mind when we're talking tulproblems, because yeah, my marriage is suffering a bit too.
n/a ztc0611 2017-05-30
Finally, someone puts this all into perspective! Tupla people aren't crazy at all!
n/a enderhart 2017-05-30
You should post this on the tulpa sub
n/a dragonbornrises 2017-05-30
wew
n/a backltrack 2017-05-30
You know therapists reallly can't tell you if it's a disorder or not, at least medically. Psychiatrist or psychologist. Go there now.
n/a CambrianCrew 2017-05-30
They can't officially diagnose but they can tell if something is diagnosable or not. Even though I have a diagnosis of depression through my pcp, we went through the stuff for both depression (yep) and generalized anxiety (nope.) If I didn't already have the dx and medicine for it, he said he would have recommended I talk to my dr or a psychiatrist in his practice about that.
Also my therapist consulted with that psychiatrist supervisor, as well as a couple of others about my case (with my permission.) If seeing them was needed he would have scheduled me up with one.
I didn't need that. I needed help to talk to my ex about things that he disagreed with and upset him, without me getting so frustrated with him and upset that I went nonverbal and without him shutting me down or refusing to work with me on my attempts to communicate with him while unable to speak (writing or texting is fine, just can't actually get words out of my mouth). We'd had issues with that before, but never to quite the same extent as whenever the topic of my Crew came up.
Before we got married we never had any serious disagreements. Nothing that I wasn't OK with just giving in to him on. But the longer we were married, the more we did and the more he tried to push the whole "I'm the husband, I'm the head of the family, what I say goes because someone has to lead and that's supposed to be me" thing on me, and while things started out fairly mild within a few years it went from being things I was just uncomfortable disagreeing about and therefore willing to just "yes dear" on so as to avoid a fight, to "no, this is where I stand my ground".
n/a backltrack 2017-05-30
Have you ever considered maybe your ex husband was a tulpa and this is all a really awkward dream?
n/a CambrianCrew 2017-05-30
Lol. For like half a second maybe? :P
But no, he's too well known by too many people. Plus, the whole him literally having a second body to do things with. :P
n/a grungebot5000 2017-05-30
it's an ORDERLY psychosis
n/a ChickenTitilater 2017-05-30
I don't think a pedophile can judge who has a mental disorder or not.
n/a Ardvarkeating101 2017-05-30
What?
n/a SWIMsfriend 2017-05-30
Ibreally hope the husband made sure this divorce case went up in front of a judge. Let everyone else in court that day have a story to tell, open and shut case
n/a Peetrius 2017-05-30
That would be really something.
If I could be a fly on the wall anywhere it'd be the the moment she claims to the judge she's being emotionally abused because her husband won't enable her delusions.
n/a CambrianCrew 2017-05-30
We settled it very amicably, just through a lawyer who wrote up paperwork basically stating irreconcilable differences and splitting up assets and debt.
I should have gone after him for the cost to replace my computer that he stole and dismantled, but it wasn't worth the effort. I got a newer, better one, eventually. Lost a lot of irreplacable work on it -- some rough drafts of stories, some art and programming projects, old resumes and cover letters, stuff like that. But most of the important stuff I had backed up in the cloud so it wasn't too bad.
n/a nsfwsten 2017-05-30
You settled with a lawyer because deep down inside that the instant you tried to explain your imaginary friends the court would have laugh.
n/a CambrianCrew 2017-05-30
Why would I have even needed to? I live in a state where a reason for divorce isn't required. We agreed, we divided things up equally (though for a brief while he thought he was going to get both cars... Yeah, no. Equitable distribution.)
And I would have cited the actual Abuse.
The gaslighting. I'd do something, or he would, and then deny it happened and make me feel like I was crazy/accused me of lying to him because he didn't remember it.
The several day long silent treatment.
The cutting me off from friends and family who he didn't like (this is WAY beyond just the online community, this had been going on here and there for years.)
Being constantly criticized for liking/enjoying anything he didn't like or approve of. ("It's not Godly to read all that fantasy, science fiction, and psychology stuff! Read more historical and science books! Be in the real world!" he said while watching/obsessing over Star Wars/Buddhist space knights. Meanwhile I was rereading, for comfort after a bad day, one of my favorite books in the Young Wizards series about teen wizards who use God's gift of magic to defeat Space Satan's plan to end all life in the universe. But I'm the one with un-Christian interests. OK then. )
Threatened to destroy my stuff. Actually did a couple of times.
Treated me like a child who was never allowed to disagree with him or do or say anything that might make him look even the least bit not perfect to other people. Telling anyone else, even my own mom who I used to talk to about EVERYTHING, if he had done something that upset me, was being "emotionally unfaithful" and reason for him to blow up at me.
The extreme jealousy. Heaven forbid I talk to any guy ever, but he could to any girl.
Extremely hypersensitive. If I ever disagreed with any of his views or opinions or asked him to tone down yet another one of his frequent rants, usually threats of passive aggressive "accidents"/violence towards other people, I was accused of not supporting him, not loving him, not being a "good faithful Christian wife." Heaven forbid I suggest that it might be a bit Not Good to consider "accidentally" slashing the tires of a coworker who did something innocent, out of miscommunication/forgetfulness, that he felt was a personal attack. I wonder what sort of things he thought about doing to me when he was angry, and who he told that to.
Over time, all these things were getting more and more frequent, and more and more severe.
I was stressed all the time, anxious, fearful of upsetting him again. My health was going very downhill -- fibromyalgia flares are often triggered by stress. I have no doubts that if we hadn't divorced, even if I had never discovered tulpamancy and realized what these folks in my head are, that by now I would be completely disabled and bedridden more often than not. I was having one or two flares a month, each lasting several days, those last six months, and they were severe enough to make me unable to walk.
I haven't had one like that in nearly a year, and the last one I had that bad was after working a 16 hour shift. In the last year, I've only had a couple of flares, and they've been pretty mild by comparison. A couple of days of bad flulike pain and exhaustion, but not "I physically need help to stand up but don't touch me it hurts."
For someone like me who values my independence and self-sufficiency, the thought of being literally unable to work and take care of myself and my responsibilities, is an absolute nightmare.
TLDR: Emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse, which contributed to much worsening stress and anxiety and exacerbated my fibromyalgia which is already hell to deal with.
n/a backltrack 2017-05-30
Should be backing everything up tho.
n/a CambrianCrew 2017-05-30
Yep. I've learned that good and well now. I even back up my backups.
n/a backltrack 2017-05-30
Live and learn.
n/a Wraith_GraveSpell 2017-05-30
Here's the Urban Dictionary definition of HeadMate :
Yeah it's 100% a mental illness. My tulpa who is a gay schizophrenic Kākāpō who has a drinking problem told me this.
n/a CambrianCrew 2017-05-30
The term originated in an entirely separate community, Soulbonding. Basically the definition but only referring to ones that believe they are literally characters from a fictional universe. The term has since expanded to an umbrella term for any kind of being you share a head with.
Most DID/OSDD systems don't use that term, and use Systemmate or Alter instead.
On soulbonding -- it's basically this but intentional:
http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.2190/FTG3-Q9T0-7U26-5Q5X
Plug that url into http://www.sci-hub.cc to bypass the paywall.
n/a subpoutine 2017-05-30
/u/Ultrashitpost, any favorite tulpas?
n/a SethPoor 2017-05-30
wtf is this sub? I feel so bad for people whose lives are so boring they need to make up shit like this.
n/a hate_expectations 2017-05-30
There's a couple of good creepypasta to come out of the Tulsa thing but mostly it's junk.
n/a bullseyes 2017-05-30
links please?
n/a hate_expectations 2017-05-30
It's the top image here, not work safe
n/a Be_Cool_Bro 2017-05-30
Now there's a type of crazy I have seen in a long time. Tulpa weirdos. Unsettling bunch cuz you think they aren't serious but they are.
n/a Lawd_Frieza 2017-05-30
Remarkable.
n/a mohkohnsepicgun 2017-05-30
Shit reads as if Dan Brown tried to rewrite Naked Lunch.
n/a FranciscoRG 2017-05-30
Lol one of the comments is "get a cat. They're real."
n/a Peetrius 2017-05-30
I think that was someone here
n/a FranciscoRG 2017-05-30
Why I like NP links. Pure popcorn.
But, if you do want a pet, get yourself a good dog. They like you, not use you for rent & food.
n/a wootfatigue 2017-05-30
Get a raccoon. It's like a dog that can give handjobs.
n/a Ultrashitpost 2017-05-30
Yeah no shit
n/a Thhueros 2017-05-30
You seem to be besmirching your name well enough on your own.
n/a Ultrashitpost 2017-05-30
exactly
n/a Wraith_GraveSpell 2017-05-30
Imagine being a grown adult who understands what mental disorders are but still refuse to admit that you're fucking crazy for making up imaginary friends and telling yourself that they are real. This is like the shit you see on /r/magick or /r/occult but 1000x more autistic.
n/a CambrianCrew 2017-05-30
Imagine being an adult who thinks they know what a disorder is better than the professionals who've been in the mental health industry for decades.
Many of us have seen therapists or psychiatrists. We Crew have. /u/Fordaplot has and did a YouTube video on the experience. Laura Klivens who interviewed us talked to several experts. They all said the same: not a disorder.
But yeah, you here who don't even know what the disorder is actually called (ie, NOT "split personality disorder" and definitely not schizophrenia which is a whole different can of worms). You here who think you're qualified to armchair diagnose us. Apparently you know soooo much more than the people who actually do that as a job. Go you.
n/a Wraith_GraveSpell 2017-05-30
Wow imagine being this delusional. Did you type that yourself or did your "free-willed" imaginary friend tell you to?
n/a CambrianCrew 2017-05-30
Did you come up with that yourself or did your mom write it for you?
n/a Wraith_GraveSpell 2017-05-30
Weak ass comeback tbh. Yeah I read it, it reeked of butthurt and delusion. Honest question, how can your imaginary friend have free will of their own and not actually be rooted in your own subconscious? Is there some bullshit otherkin "soul" bullshit here? I can't be bothered to do serious research into your little cult so you'll have to answer here if you truly care about what others think. Which according to your posts here, is sadly true.
n/a CambrianCrew 2017-05-30
So you didn't bother to read the part where it's not considered a mental illness by experts whose job it is to diagnose these things.
If you can't bother to read and understand that, I'm not going to bother replying.
n/a Wraith_GraveSpell 2017-05-30
>experts
Yes, I'm sure "experts" are definitely agreeing that conjuring mystical entities are definitely real and not in your fucking head. What I understand is that you're either part of a cult or you're LARPing so hard up your ass that you thought your shit was communicating with you.
Whether or not having imaginary friends as an adult is technically a "mental illness" is irrelevant. Basically, that would be like saying anyone who prays to God is mentally ill. Plain and simple, it's fucking stupid and if you think it's anything beyond your own mind then you are delusional.
n/a CambrianCrew 2017-05-30
Yes, they are "in my head".
Here's the thing though.
So am I.
So are you.
So is everyone.
We know they're not literally physical beings. Duh.
They're minds.
Not brains, only got one of those and all of us in the Crew have to share it.
Minds.
All the things that make you you, a person, not just a body.
Your thoughts. Your memory. Your personality. Your likes and dislikes. Your opinions. Your hopes. Your dreams. Your fears. Your morals. Your perspective.
That whole combination of things that makes you a unique mind, a unique person.
That's what I AM.
This body is just something I HAVE. The actual person inside is so much more than just this physical shell. And it really is what's inside that counts.
Same thing with my tulpas. They don't have bodies of their own. But they do have minds. Personalities. Wills of their own.
And that's what makes them real people.
We tend to think of it as kinda a hardware/software/OS thing. The body is our shared hardware. But we're running different sets of software on different operating systems.
Most people only have one set of hardware and software and one OS. They look at the whole package and think that's one person.
Then you have plurals like us Crew, who have several different operating systems. We view each operating system as its own person, because it's a self-contained intelligence. We think it's that that defines and distinguishes each person, not the set of hardware.
Hardware changes. Hardware is replacable. You lose a limb, you're not less of a person than you were before. You replace one with a prosthetic, you're not a different person than you were before.
But if someone's personality and perspective wildly changes, due to either personal growth or serious mental illness, you might say "They're just not the same person anymore." And if the body is alive but the mind is no longer functioning and the brain isn't doing anything beyond just keeping the body alive, you might say "So and so is gone." "The light's on but nobody's home." Etc.
Legally, yeah, they're still the same person. And with personal growth stuff, it's a Theseus ship situation.
But still. We recognize, instinctively, that the actual person isn't the body-machine but the mind that drives it and operates it. As the operating system inside the hardware running the software.
So. Yes. They really do exist, as people, as intangible minds. The same as anyone else really does.
And that's not something we can prove yet with science. The question of what makes a person a person, what is consciousness, what is sentience, what is the mind, etc, is a metaphysical question. And metaphysics (the branch of philosphophy, not the synonym for paranormal things) is not something that can really completely be measured and tested like physics can. We can debate it all day long, but we're not going to come to any conclusions. Nothing that hasn't already been discussed for millennia by philosophers the world over.
n/a Peetrius 2017-05-30
Oh for fuck's sake. Yeah I took a philosophy class after 101, and this is a bunch of pseudo intellectual bullshit that doesn't do anything for a discussion.
This is the same shit that moron new age christfags do with quantum physics: a poorly understood and difficult concept that only offers epistemic proof for the science it engages with, and not for extrapolated out of context rambling that totalizes other thought patterns with the intent of dismissing any dismissal by claiming that it has already been incorporated and accounted for. Circular fucking nonsense from people who like to pretend they understand the mysteries of the universe, especially when they claim they don't understand, or cannot understand. This type of false humble advocacy of BS is an evasive tactic to avoid the essential backasswardsness of their logic.
I have no patience for philosophies that don't engage with humanity and dodge inconvenient questions by making the idea so nebulous that it's impossible to quantify. That's some faggot shit right there and anyone who seriously claims to think like that is a faggot.
n/a CambrianCrew 2017-05-30
You and my ex would have gotten along so well. -.-
n/a Wraith_GraveSpell 2017-05-30
Man, this looks like the whims of someone who just read Descartes for the first time. How old are you?
So what you are essentially saying is that tulpas are no different than headmates?
n/a autourbanbot 2017-05-30
Here's the Urban Dictionary definition of HeadMate :
headmate,alter,DID,dissociative identity disorder,mental illness,tumblr,system,multiple,
about | flag for glitch | Summon: urbanbot, what is something?
n/a Wraith_GraveSpell 2017-05-30
Oh shit, spot on /u/autourbanbot. Have a treat.
n/a CambrianCrew 2017-05-30
30, soon to be 31. I've had Jas since I was 15. And I learned to accept that I am not my body, I am my mind, from early on -- dealt with pretty severe depression in my teens, and learned that intrusive thoughts aren't really Me, they're just my brain being a dick/glitching. And I've always believed -- I'd rather not being religion in on top of this so take it metaphorically if you will -- "You do not have a soul. You are a soul, you have a body." This is kinda the basis of my whole philosophy. I am definitely some kind of dualist, and it seems like most of y'all here are essential materialists. That's fine, but we're not going to see eye to eye on philosophical things if you believe that everything is matter, and I don't.
Anyways.
"Headmates" comes from the old soulbonding community back in the 90s -- people who form/discover tulpa-like entities that believe they are literally the characters from a fictional universe. My tulpas believe this to be true for them, where I'm much more skeptical on that point. I've learned it's futile to try and argue them out of that belief though, and to just accept them as they are.
Basically these days though, "headmate" refers to any other people you share space in your head with regardless of origin, though people with Dissociative Identity Disorder tend to refer to theirs instead mostly as alters or systemmates. Or if their others are less distinct and defined, as facets or fragments or parts. (Much more common in OSDD-1.)
n/a savantfool 2017-05-30
Tulpa what?
What are they doing?
n/a ChickenTitilater 2017-05-30
Drink it
n/a flipkt 2017-05-30
Right, so who is making money from this community of retards?
n/a Peetrius 2017-05-30
All that means is we have an opportunity to make some $$$
n/a TSwizzlesNipples 2017-05-30
> Implying tuplas aren't real in (((current year)))
KYS /u/Ultrashitpost.
n/a Ultrashitpost 2017-05-30
Nuh uh
n/a TSwizzlesNipples 2017-05-30
Well, OK then.
n/a HULK_HOGAN_FASCISM 2017-05-30
/u/Peetrius strikes me as the type of person who wouldn't have putWilson on the raft. Shake my fucking head.
n/a Orsonius 2017-05-30
split personality disorder is not schizophrenia
REEEEEEEEE
n/a CambrianCrew 2017-05-30
No such thing as "split personality disorder". It used to be Multiple Personality Disorder, but in the 90's the name was officially changed (in most of the world anyway, including the USA) to Dissociative Identity Disorder.
Criteria for DID, and the rest of the section on DID and OSDD, in this album of pictures of my copy of the DSM-V. https://imgur.com/a/aUy5t
n/a Orsonius 2017-05-30
yeah sorry I knew split wasnt correct but I didnt bother to look up what the correct term was, I just new that schizophrenia is often used to call this disorder but it is wrong.
n/a lunchza 2017-05-30
This must be some elaborate ruse that everyone there is in on. I refuse to believe that anybody could be serious about shit like this.
n/a IAintThatGuy 2017-05-30
/r/tulpas is the one place I can never really tell if someone is trying too hard to troll, or legitimately mentally ill.