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/u/moonday i'd still fuck you bby

Or save your pic, at least

Well shit, this motherfucker is either biggest gatekeeper since me vs Iggy Azalea, or just a fucking idiot.

Vikings

Renaissance

American education.

Viking shield maiden

lol no

Yep, all vikings were men.

Also I'm seriousposting in /r/drama ecks dee

seriousposting yet doesn't know viking is just means traveling. git gud

Breh, no historian has established what the etymology of viking really is, there are tons of theories and you're retarded for just believing one of them.

Yeah shieldmaidens are folklore I believe. So really there's absolutely nothing about the costume I wore that should be based in reality anyway. It was good day of mead drinkin and knive throwin. People just need to be upset about stuff and things sometimes I suppose.

Maybe if you went as Valkyrie but shieldmaidens thing was gurl warriors. So it means just slap some mail or gambeson and good to go.

Yeah just threw stuff together at the house. Didn't have any armor 😕

not having armour

look at this cunt. There are like several theories but only few that actually worthwhile.

Viking: from proto-germanic weytkong; "white-king"

The name reflects the superiority of the Germanic race, and the purity of the Scandinavians among them.

There were elves there too. And a pirate band. It was an "any era" and cosplay weekend. People on Reddit sure get upset about costumes.

Your costume was awesome btw. I have the same bird skull necklace 😀

Hey thanks!

They should rename it to Fantasy Faire or whatever in that case.

Maybe. But no one really cares that much. It's just a place to dress up at and drink mead. Like, for fun.

Nope. All fun must be serious business. You should start running your weekend plans past a committee to ensure they're not racist (spoiler: they are).

I'll just go in black face next year.

Now you're getting it. Be sure to tape up the corner of your eyes so it looks like lil' asian slit eyes, then put on a crop and short shorts and walk around telling middle aged white men "u big strong man, u want boom boom? u want massaaase? happy ending special prize only for u"

Or put on a poncho and sombrero and go around saying "ey jefe, why everybody so loco. I no want gringo food, I like tacoooos"

That's the most fun you can have.

Go big or go home.

Exactly, no one likes half measures.

I wouldn't be surprised if that would actually fly on some socjus campus if you added that it was "performance art meant to highlight the horrors POC experience every Halloween."

Europe has actual medieval fairs, not bastardised shit. I guess it's the byproduct of experience.

Maybe. But no one really cares that much

You clearly underestimate the autism of this subreddit.

How about you "cosplay" as an adult and get a real hobby?

Do you dress up on Halloween? It's like that.

Do you dress up on Halloween?

No I'm an Adult, I give out double the amount of candy kids deserve to entertain them like a normal person.

Are you one of the two 35 yearolds who came to my house without costumes expecting candy?

Because I already told you no once.

No, I'm 28, can I have some candy?

I only have authentic Old Timey Candy like those apples you cut faces into and let them dry and Candied Maple Smoked Salmon.

Sometimes when peoples costumes are shitty I give them the way too hot Mexican Lollipops

Candied Maple Smoked Salmon.

Ok that actually sounds amazing. I will lurk in your bushes this October and bully the little brats for the goods.

I mean it's pretty much smoking Salmon then just taking it out and putting Maple mixture on it

squaw/indian candy some differ on brining or not, slow smoking vs fast smoking http://honest-food.net/salmon-candy-recipe/

You might be able to find a local place that serves it or a cheap smoker

Smokers are great for Oysters alone worth buying one.

My parents never told me being an adult meant I wasn't allowed to have fun

I hate them :(

If you were a good Christian they should have told you being a human being meant you weren't allowed to have fun.

Blocked.

"I feel like I should be mad at this but I don't know why...

...it must be racist!" - /u/rsporter

I find it appalling that you are 100% mad about something that you admit you don't know jackshit about.

I happen to be Swedish and this shit is incredibly racist.

Myself, /u/rsporter and a few other POVs [people of Viking ancestry] have grown tired and annoyed with the reoccuring [sic] theme of American women appropriating styles that belong to the blonde and blue eyed folks who created the culture. The culture actually comes from a historical background of oppression and exclusion. The pale and pasty bodies who typically wear berserks, (and other accessories like horned helmets, battle axes, etc) are typically viewed as crazed rapists, and are not taken seriously by others in their daily lives. Because of this, I see our berserks, horned helmets, and battle axes serving as symbols [and] as an everyday act of resistance, especially here at reddit. Meanwhile we wonder, why should American girls be able to take part in this culture (shield maiden war paint just being one case of it) and be seen as cute/aesthetic/ethnic. American people have actually exploited the culture and made it into fashion.

You should be ashamed /u/moonday

So then you must know "Viking" isn't a race right? I'm a natural blonde and my whole family is of mixed Northern European decent, with blonde hair and blue eyes (I wasn't lucky enough to get that recessive gene). I would agree with you except that I believe culture should be celebrated and not reprimanded like you're attempting to do. I'm assuming you believe renaissance fairs should be abolished all together. Should I have gone as a cowgirl? Or would my European ancestors out me on Reddit as misappropriating my true heritage. You sound like a mad person. My full blooded Viking descended boyfriend liked it... he liked it a whole lot.

For anyone wondering, Viking is a profession, though the etymology is pretty much shot.

Yeah it seriously just a costume. If any is looking for hysterical accuracy they shouldn't be going to a Faire that has a "ye ole ATM machine"

hysterical

This sub does not appreciate your sexism.

nice try snownigger.

That's... a word.

Defend this.

Why your people were still building this...

http://cdn.playbuzz.com/cdn/fa470a9b-2e70-4cf1-9132-6ce165f61d1d/62bafacf-bd7d-44be-9c8f-8147274c73cd.jpg

When my people built this :

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/22/Frederiksborg_Castle_and_boat_crop.jpg/1200px-Frederiksborg_Castle_and_boat_crop.jpg

What kept the viking man down ?

I... what is happening right now?

This should be the tagline of our sub tbh

😂😂😂

The Mayocide

Up against the wall👮🏿

Hi and welcome to /r/Drama, enjoy your stay.

I don't know what that means and I think I'll keep it that way. I didn't choose this place, I was summoned here. It's a pathetic display of aggressive flying cockfuckery. Even that is too kind of description.

Aww, but we like you.

Could've fooled me!

Well the vikings existed when the rest of Europe were still making the same huts. Just sayin

I suppose it is on purpose you took a picture of a Danish castle from the 1600's? (the second link for the uneducated, Frederiksborg Castle in Hillerød).

Oh you live in America too. Goodness me. You are just all sorts of hypocritical. Of course you're not going to be taken seriously wearing a horned helmet around town. Do you think I go to the renaissance faire to be taken seriously. You definitely sound pale and pasty though... and pissy.

Did you really get so upset at that post that you came back 9 minutes later to comment again?

Imagine taking Reddit this seriously.

I'll respond when I wanna! Maybe next time I'll wait 11 minutes! Then you'll really be mind fucked.

Or just edit your comment like everyone else does. Or shitpost and move on, fuck I forgot what I wrote to you until you responded to it.

No.

Det är sant det dem säger om amerikanska brudar. Ni har fan ingen humor. Det där jag sa om att komma innanför dina trosor var dock sant.

Damn right I'm pale. Purest Viking blood you'll ever come across.

Mmmm Vikings...

Be honest, you're here because we made u/rsporter cry and you've been holding him/her for hours trying to think up a way to make them sound like they were right.

For fuck's sake lady, do you not recognize pasta when you see it?

But while you're here, can you explain what in the fuck is even remotely viking about that costume?

What about pasta? They only serve pizza at the Ren Faire I went to.

I did explain, I say in this post^. It was based in mythos and pop culture. They don't really have any historical evidence on what Vikings wore. So the braids are from the TV show "Vikings"and the feathers are Valkyrie inspired. What would you have worn, pasta?

So basically nothing. You don't look even remotely viking. This whole ridiculous brouhaha is because nobody can tell what the fuck you're supposed to be. And don't cite the retarded TV show, costume design on it is painfully fake from top to bottom.

And yes, we actually have a pretty decent idea of what the vikings wore, both men and women. It's just kind of boring. And not even remotely revealing. Though if you were going as a shieldmaiden, which were obviously apocryphal figures, you had an even easier job. Shieldmaidens were supposed to have renounced women's roles and lived, dressed, and fought like men. No dresses for them. Just practical clothing for warmth and protection. And armor. And a goddamn fucking helmet - sans horns.

What about pasta?

Oh, it's retarded.

It's a renaissance Faire. I didn't actually go into battle. I drove there in a Prius. There was one other girl that was mad about my skin showing on the original post. Sorry I don't get your spaghetti reference lady.

spaghetti reference

fucking hell I can't stop laughing for some reason

this is clearly your first day on the internet but you've got the right 'tude for it

Well, true, I don't live here, but I like to visit from time to time.

u/michgot can probably talk more about this with you. I'm only historically informed on the Renaissance Faire of Irwindale, CA.

A solid education in ignorance and failure. Congrats.

Enlighten me tortellini. Do you really think people renaissance Faire thought I should have worn more armor? It was fuckin hot out.

Your historical ignorance is matched only by your lack of commitment.

Really, all you had to do was dress as a Viking dude, and instead you went as a scarecrow.

Angry girl is angry. It's okay. I didn't want to go dressed as a dude. I wanted to go dressed like this. No guys were upset about it. I got free drinks, which was nice. If you saw the bottom half of this costume you'd probably bust an ovary.

You have a strange idea about a few things. I don't give a shit if you want to be a slut at ren fair. I love sluts. It's a respected costume category, and the more flesh you show the better. Just don't call it a viking/shieldmaiden outfit and it'll be good.

Mmmmmk 👋🏻

You're getting trolled sweetie.

Oh wait. Here you go 😏😏😏 https://m.imgur.com/a/A1t1C

That's not what viking swords look like either. For fuck's sake.

Just say you're dressed up like Skyrim characters. You accidentally nailed the Forsworn outfits, it's almost uncanny.

Not my sword not my problem.

Would I still be a racist?

Nah, just a cosplayer, it's a different brand of retard - about as useless but less damaging.

I mean you nailed the look actually. Bird-skull necklace, feathers, furs, shitty face paint stupid hair. Completely accidentally. How often do people arrive at perfect cosplay through pure ignorance? Unbelievable.

Yeah I don't see it, but I aspire to play as many video games as you do someday. How often do you use the word "retard" as an insult?

In /r/drama? At least once every three comments. There is a quota.

Yeah, it's something I recommend people to leave out of their vocabulary. I mean, I know we're on the internet here and I have a tough hide, but if we're talking about what is "offensive" here... I'm sure my cousin would rather not be mentally handicapped, and I'm sure you'd probably actually like me in person, but hey, it's not a perfect world is it?

Listen lady, this is the wrong sub for that sort of faggotry, and you can't even post bussy to make it right. There is the whole rest of reddit for all of us to behave like civilized people - but this here is a special sort of zoo, with its own special rules. Don't bring that shit in here.

You think whoring out your cousin for street cred gives you power around here? Well it doesn't. We have whole binders full of retards. They're called mods. Maybe if your cousin has a nice bussy he can get on the list too.

"THIS IS FARTA!!" Good lord. And you think I'm the ignorant one.

Mayocide will start in Farta.

>wearing a high cut loincloth

Not racist, just a lil' slutty. You do realize Scandinavia is always cold, right? I only date true Viking women who wear triple layered fleece overalls.

The Ren Faire was hot as balls.

I'll let it slide if you send sexy pics wearing a parka, snow pants and mittens. Instead of the scar make your lips look chaffed, so it gives off the impression you've been constantly licking them to keep them warm while waiting for the bus.

That's not a scar, that's from kissing my other shield maiden friend on the mouth.

Now you're just acting coquettish on purpose, smh.

Nope. Facts are facts.

Perhaps, but you don't see me writing about kissing my obese, nerdy, ugly, foul smelling, male LARP friends on the mouth cuz I kno u'd be hot to trot and I ain't about dat y'know

Where'd you get that scar tough guy? Eating pussy Pineapple?

They don't really have any historical evidence on what Vikings wore.

wait wat

From what I've read, it's mostly speculation. But I still maintain... it's a costume I threw together the night before with stuff I had at my house... to go to the Ren Faire.

Now you're going to start hating on pastamancers? How dare you. The flying spaghetti monster will boil your soul until it's all soggy and gross for this!

First of all, listen to /u/eskachig.

Second of all, the only reason I would defend a retard on the internet would be to get in his/her pants.

Speaking of which, u r fucking hawt, lol! ;) I often LARP Viking stuff with my unattractive, obese and nerdy male friends xD PM me and I can pay for ur plane ticket to Sweden and u could join??! (will u be my gf?)

Well... I have always wanted to go larping. But if we're too historical accurate I won't get my pizza break. I'd also probably get killed with a real sword, and I don't know if I'm wanting to do that at this time in my life.

pizza break

Gurl Imma show you some real Swedish food. We'll have pickled herring, snaps and boiled potatoes with dill. Then I'll show you my "sword" ;))) (I won't kill you though, unless you're into that rape-play bdsm shit which is a bit freaky imo, but whatever you want to do I guess)

Oi you wanna hump? I'm 7.5" and thicc

Stop measuring from your asshole and nobody cares about your love handles.

RUDE

wow ur cheating on me now? rude

Sorry babe, I ain't no betaboi. I need that PUCCI

It's called a gucci smh

Son, please make sure you use a condom. I don't want grand children when we already have Salim and Jamal to take care of.

Will do Pajeet Dad

Did I forget to tell you? I have already converted to Islam and changed my name to Salman Ramadan Abedi. Please do the needful and refer to me by my new name. Khuda Hafiz.

It's not a viking and never was. Blocked.

There's a fine line between sticking to your guns and being retarded

Guess which one /u/rsporter is.

/u/rsporter trying to get some of that overgrown Evergreen snootch.

/u/rsporter is a bitch nigga

Fucking mayos and the fucking mayos that hate mayos

WTF THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE SEPIA TONE BACK THEN!!!!

That's right, the world was black and white up until about the 1870's when it turned to sepia for a bit. Then it changed back to black and white until the late 1930's when it finally became colour. It was pretty grainy colour too for a while.

O no those pseudo-cultural appropriation people are still around? They are the absolute worst

/u/rsporter I'm going to eat at a Chinese Mexican fusion restaurant tonight and toast you with sake while wearing a bindi and a Russian bear defense suit. yw

Oh that sounds like the most decadent of dining.

Are you, like, a person? You seem to be on red carpets and shit in your post history

Do you have an IG? I like following cosplayers

How many times do you need to get mocked for that shit before you actually go away? /u/rsporter tell us what number you're at, just for a ballpark.

I am literally waiting g for bulgogi tacos right now /u/rsporter. Fite me IRL.

M'fuckin lady! Sweet Jesus.

/r/rsporter Blocked.

/u/rsporter Blocked.

/u/rsporter Please tell me more about these Native American Vikings. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Oh wait. Here you go 😏 https://m.imgur.com/a/A1t1C

a festival that has a "Ye Ole ATM" machine

TIL r/drama is full of really angry people.

Nothing is what it seems around here.

Except you basement rapist.

I've done those kinds of scenes a few times but the novelty wears off quick. That shit's damp and unpleasant. Maybe I lack commitment, but I'm much better at straightforward sadism than elaborate role play.

I can smell your diabetes from here.

That's a pretty weird fetish you've got there.

If i wanted to finger the craters in your face I would've asked by now.

Oddly specific fetish...

Pls no dox

It's more "sad and pathetic" than "angry"

I didn't like the post /u/rsporter did so I downvoted it.

I can't believe you've done this

Uh, what? There was no decision to be made. It was a racist native american costume that she pretended to call otherwise. GG.

I have to know- just how fuck-ugly are you?

Are you a gigantic fat gravy seal?

Can you PLEASE just use Google or something?! Not only did Vikings use war paint, they also used duck feathers on their armor and other feathers in their, gasp!, bows and arrows. (OH NO, THAT IS CULTURAL APPROPRIATION! ONLY NATIVE AMERICANS HAD THOSE!)

Is her costume historically accurate? Anyone with even the slightest degree of intelligence will probably say it's not. But for you to look at it and immediately rush to the conclusion that you did says a lot about where your mind rests. Besides, educate yourself on the diversity of Native American nations in the U.S. Canada, and in Central and South America. We didn't all historically dress like actors in a John Wayne film. But thank you for stereotyping us into a category that fits your matriarchal fantasies!

BLOCKED

LOL.

HOW!. I could understand if she was at a casino dressed like a "savage" indian but I don't get how you think her costume is appropriating them at a ren fair.

lol you're a sensitive faggot

Its funny because you're retarded

Forsworn for lyfe.

You're goddamn retarded duder, only question now is whether youll muster the self-awareness to delete your account or not