Throwaway because my BF is an active Redditor. I have been dating my boyfriend for over three years. He has always been there for me and very supportive. He even moved to Chicago with me last year, after I got a great job offer because I feared losing him.
My parents have never liked him though. They're very liberal, and he's a conservative (though he keeps it to himself), they're proud Midwestern people, and he's a "Philadelphia big-mouth" (their words), and they're openly atheist while he's a staunch Catholic.
My parents are prickly people; my brother-in-law still isn't comfortable around my family even after knowing them for seven years! My father is very protective of the women in his life, and has never treated any of my boyfriends well. My dad will often tease and make backhanded comments to my boyfriend at family get-togethers, but to my BF's credit, he never reacted, even though I could tell he hates it. My dad even called him "Nate" for months when we just started dating just to mess with him...his name is Nick.
My BF has voiced his displeasure about my dad to me in private. He skipped two recent large family dinners because of my father and uncles, who also mess with him. That said, he agreed to come to dinner on Sunday, even though it took begging on my part. I called my dad the night before to ask him to lay off Nick, he agreed.
So Sunday dinner was going well, we were wrapping up the entree and getting ready for desert. I could see my uncle and dad talking low and laughing a bit, and I started to get anxious. My dad says to Nick, "So, mediocregirlfriend called me last night and said you don't like me busting your chops." I could see my BF shoot daggers at me from across the table. After some laughing by everyone around the table, except for my BF and me, my uncle then said, "are most people from Philly as soft as you?" Another round of laughs followed and I could see my BF boiling.
Despite being prickly and unfriendly, my family does not tolerate profanity AT ALL! I can't even say "crap" around them. So after the second round of laughs, Nick exploded in front of my entire family, "Fuck you, Rick (my dad), and fuck your fucking family. I've always hated you, you've always been an asshole to me for no reason. Go fuck yourself." He screamed this, he was shaking and could barely contain himself while screaming profanity at my dad and uncle. He then got up and casually walked out as if nothing happened. Dead silence followed.
I ran after him, while sobbing, to try to talk to him. He told me he hates my "asshole family," he's had enough of them disrespecting him, and that he'll never attend another event where they're present (outside of our wedding, assuming we marry). He also refused to apologize for his outburst, even though he screamed "fuck" several times in front of my very young cousins.
As disrespectful as my dad and uncle were, and have been for years, what Nick did completely humiliated me and his lack of remorse for his actions have me questioning our relationship. We haven't spoke for two days, even though we share an apartment. It's been very tense. I also can't imagine a scenario where my father and Nick make up, now that Nick's true feelings finally came out of him.
TL;DR: Parents have never liked my BF of three years because of political/religious/cultural differences. My dad and uncle have regularly picked on him for their personal enjoyment over the years. My BF finally snapped and directed a profanity-laced tirade at them during a large family dinner. BF won't apologize, he's content in his actions. I think the toxic relationship between my BF and family may cause me to end the relationship.
Thanks for pasting the post here. By the time I had gotten to it, it was deleted. It's very frustrating trying to figure what was said in the post, just by reading the replies. Archiving the post doesn't always work, so copying and pasting here as a comment is really helpful.
I liked the part where the "very liberal" family doesn't tolerate profanity and has Midwest roots, and the household seems to be run by an overbearing, protective father.
When I was younger, I would have taken that as a red flag for trolling. Now it's just the hypocritical tribalism I've come to expect.
Your family has already humiliated you. Many times over, across the span of multiple relationships. It's your Stockholm syndrome that makes you think your boyfriend humiliated you. But that's not the case at all.
I always wondered where the mentally ill fat sadbrains of /r/raisedbynarcissits posted
That's a valid point tho. If you bring someone you value into your family and they constantly shit on someone you've decided you want to spend your life with - something ain't right. You might not be valued and respected enough for your family to take the usual 'he's a retard, but she loves him, that warrants a pass' stance.
I think u/mediocregirlfriend is just as much of an asshole as the father, the uncle and the rest of the family. What kind of wretched bitch lets their family do that to their multiple boyfriends!? The poor guy finally just exploded. Maybe she's just stupid, but how many relationships does her family need to sabotage for her to see the light?
39 comments
n/a PhysicsIsMyMistress 2017-06-06
OP for when it's inevitably deleted:
Throwaway because my BF is an active Redditor. I have been dating my boyfriend for over three years. He has always been there for me and very supportive. He even moved to Chicago with me last year, after I got a great job offer because I feared losing him.
My parents have never liked him though. They're very liberal, and he's a conservative (though he keeps it to himself), they're proud Midwestern people, and he's a "Philadelphia big-mouth" (their words), and they're openly atheist while he's a staunch Catholic.
My parents are prickly people; my brother-in-law still isn't comfortable around my family even after knowing them for seven years! My father is very protective of the women in his life, and has never treated any of my boyfriends well. My dad will often tease and make backhanded comments to my boyfriend at family get-togethers, but to my BF's credit, he never reacted, even though I could tell he hates it. My dad even called him "Nate" for months when we just started dating just to mess with him...his name is Nick.
My BF has voiced his displeasure about my dad to me in private. He skipped two recent large family dinners because of my father and uncles, who also mess with him. That said, he agreed to come to dinner on Sunday, even though it took begging on my part. I called my dad the night before to ask him to lay off Nick, he agreed.
So Sunday dinner was going well, we were wrapping up the entree and getting ready for desert. I could see my uncle and dad talking low and laughing a bit, and I started to get anxious. My dad says to Nick, "So, mediocregirlfriend called me last night and said you don't like me busting your chops." I could see my BF shoot daggers at me from across the table. After some laughing by everyone around the table, except for my BF and me, my uncle then said, "are most people from Philly as soft as you?" Another round of laughs followed and I could see my BF boiling.
Despite being prickly and unfriendly, my family does not tolerate profanity AT ALL! I can't even say "crap" around them. So after the second round of laughs, Nick exploded in front of my entire family, "Fuck you, Rick (my dad), and fuck your fucking family. I've always hated you, you've always been an asshole to me for no reason. Go fuck yourself." He screamed this, he was shaking and could barely contain himself while screaming profanity at my dad and uncle. He then got up and casually walked out as if nothing happened. Dead silence followed.
I ran after him, while sobbing, to try to talk to him. He told me he hates my "asshole family," he's had enough of them disrespecting him, and that he'll never attend another event where they're present (outside of our wedding, assuming we marry). He also refused to apologize for his outburst, even though he screamed "fuck" several times in front of my very young cousins.
As disrespectful as my dad and uncle were, and have been for years, what Nick did completely humiliated me and his lack of remorse for his actions have me questioning our relationship. We haven't spoke for two days, even though we share an apartment. It's been very tense. I also can't imagine a scenario where my father and Nick make up, now that Nick's true feelings finally came out of him.
TL;DR: Parents have never liked my BF of three years because of political/religious/cultural differences. My dad and uncle have regularly picked on him for their personal enjoyment over the years. My BF finally snapped and directed a profanity-laced tirade at them during a large family dinner. BF won't apologize, he's content in his actions. I think the toxic relationship between my BF and family may cause me to end the relationship.
n/a ____________13 2017-06-06
"To my BF's credit, he ate all their abuse with a smile for 3 years like a magnificent, giant pussy"
n/a BrotherToaster 2017-06-06
he deserves it tbh
n/a Clark_Savage_Jr 2017-06-06
Roasting people with an unspoken family secret feels really good.
Wait until after dessert though.
n/a fatalcharm 2017-06-06
Thanks for pasting the post here. By the time I had gotten to it, it was deleted. It's very frustrating trying to figure what was said in the post, just by reading the replies. Archiving the post doesn't always work, so copying and pasting here as a comment is really helpful.
n/a EricGrahamMacEachern 2017-06-06
How euphoric.
n/a zahlman 2017-06-06
I liked the part where the "very liberal" family doesn't tolerate profanity and has Midwest roots, and the household seems to be run by an overbearing, protective father.
When I was younger, I would have taken that as a red flag for trolling. Now it's just the hypocritical tribalism I've come to expect.
n/a ironicshitpostr 2017-06-06
You think this isn't a troll? Politics truly is the mind-killer.
n/a Hammer_of_truthiness 2017-06-06
Dont be retarded zahl this is still a troll
n/a SnapshillBot 2017-06-06
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n/a Neon_needles 2017-06-06
I always wondered where the mentally ill fat sadbrains of /r/raisedbynarcissits posted
n/a quinotauri 2017-06-06
That's a valid point tho. If you bring someone you value into your family and they constantly shit on someone you've decided you want to spend your life with - something ain't right. You might not be valued and respected enough for your family to take the usual 'he's a retard, but she loves him, that warrants a pass' stance.
n/a Prysorra 2017-06-06
That post wasn't harsh enough.
n/a CirqueDuFuder 2017-06-06
She is getting torn to shreds in that post.
n/a _throawayplop_ 2017-06-06
a nice conservative fantasy
n/a lokichilde 2017-06-06
Obvi
n/a Bureaucrat-72 2017-06-06
Yeah, it's basically a palette swap of the hippie boyfriend meets the parents trope.
n/a ThatDamnedImp 2017-06-06
Oh look, liberals denying that liberals could ever possibly be hypocritical assholes.
You don't see that every day!
n/a Bureaucrat-72 2017-06-06
Lol, I'm not denying anything. Hypocrisy and politics may as well be synonyms as far as I'm concerned. Enjoy drinking that Koolaid though.
n/a penorio 2017-06-06
The whole table should have clapped at some point.
n/a mehforeverybody 2017-06-06
Damn...I would want to ask one question to "the boyfriend". Just how good is that pussy?
n/a wwyzzerdd 2017-06-06
n/a Matues49 2017-06-06
She sounds like the person who cucks he BFs with her dad. Proud Midwestern people alright.
n/a Gothmog26 2017-06-06
Atheist liberal midwesterners are literally not human.
n/a rarestpepesforsale 2017-06-06
Very much like in Get Out.
n/a lifesbrink 2017-06-06
Looks like u/mediocregirlfriend lives up to her name
n/a PhysicsIsMyMistress 2017-06-06
/r/relationships is now banning people for linking their threads to other subreddits.
n/a TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK 2017-06-06
Happened to me too. It's weird; I sat on the thread I wanted to post for MONTHS just so there was no extra work involved on their part.
n/a PhysicsIsMyMistress 2017-06-06
Turns out your kindness was repaid with indifference. :p
n/a VatiasMellerman 2017-06-06
Why don't you just use np you fucking girl scout, that solves everything
n/a ComedicSans 2017-06-06
n/a Hammer_of_truthiness 2017-06-06
S-senpai!
n/a AntiLuke 2017-06-06
I'm surprised it's just now. Thought they would have been doing that since even before the linkbot thing.
n/a IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu 2017-06-06
u/mediocregirlfriend got fucking destroyed in that thread
n/a GalwayLass 2017-06-06
I think u/mediocregirlfriend is just as much of an asshole as the father, the uncle and the rest of the family. What kind of wretched bitch lets their family do that to their multiple boyfriends!? The poor guy finally just exploded. Maybe she's just stupid, but how many relationships does her family need to sabotage for her to see the light?
n/a nomad1c 2017-06-06
to be fair all that guy had to do was give it back to the dad a little and he woulda chilled out
n/a ____________13 2017-06-06
100%
Nick was one "Is my wrist limp? Guess I strained it when I was on top of your daughter this morning" away from becoming a part of the family.
n/a WheresUlf 2017-06-06
Some people aren't confident and have great improv skills, fuck you.
n/a evannever 2017-06-06
Nick, is that you?
n/a westphall 2017-06-06
Watch it with the profanity, her little cousins are at the table!
n/a SlavophilesAnonymous 2017-06-06
Politics is the curse of the land. It makes you fight your neighbor. It makes you diss your father-in-law and it makes your insults fall flat.
TL;DR repeal democracy now.
n/a 4chan_pol_ambassador 2017-06-06
i dont think she was ready for not a single comment to be in support of her. how can anyone be this deluded? she got eviscerated