[Vintage] Frat bro goes to ICU with alcohol poisoning, rectal trauma. Cops suspect he poured wine up his ass. Frat bro calls lawyer and holds press conference, with entire frat standing behind him wearing suits and sunglasses, to deny Franzia enema rumors, and also tell the world that he is not gay.

258  2017-06-21 by HuckleberryFN2187

This happened a few years ago but it stands as my favorite drama of all time. I wish I could make shit like this up. Pi Kappa Alpha must be so proud.

Recap from TotalFratMove, including a copy of the official police report.

Complete video of the press conference. Distinguished elderly Southern gentleman says "butt-chugging" six times in as many minutes. Xander Broughton is not a gay man. He is a straight man.

Retrospective from local news station when frat was allowed back on campus.

44 comments

Geed fraternity tbh

ButtChugging is such an old meme, although it is still used to harass Tennessee fans on SecRant.com (an all-sec sports board that is an offshoot of tigerdroppings.com, the greatest website on the internet)

I guess when fucking your cousin gets old, fall back on making fun of each other for buttchugging wine.

Sherman didn't finish the job.

bruh sherman was okay with the south, he was the first president of LSU and gave us cool civil war shit like the guns used at ft sumter, atlanta has literally always been shithole, and sherman recognized that.

And all those towns he razed on the way there?

suburbs

He was a pioneer of the mayocide. Still he didn't finish the job.

mayocide

I wonder what some other terms would be...

Nutellacide?

I have floated that one around a few times.

The grimmest fate of all.

Always had bedhead in his pics which made him own own own

go vols

You can't talk about the university of Tennessee without mentioning buttchugging

Just call me the colon gin

I upvoted this post just for the use of the word butt chugging. Didn't even need to read.

Didn't even need to read.

likes buttchugging

Confirmed University of tennessee graduate

Frat bro could you please explain what really happened?

<awkward pause> it's a long story...

Topkek

long

I bet it was.

"Bruh you had to be there. Shit was so fucking sick"

So cash

Xander Broughton. His names like one from those shitty teen movies from the early 2000s to make fun of frat bros

I think this frat twink should be modded.

Is this the appropriate time to mention the Streisand Effect?

My buddies and I have always done "fits my life" "fuck em again" and "oh so right" "one more time" as the last call and response

Fuck Auburn.

War Eagle, bitches.

One of the better press conferences I've ever seen. It almost matches the one in Korea where the guy was trying to prove that the yakuza hadn't cut his dick off.

Link it, fagger. Iun got no Google

I can't find any video, just a couple articles.

He acted like he was going to pull it out right there on live TV but didn't actually go through with it. In my opinion, the jury is still out on whether he actually has a penis.

To be honest it's probably the most palettable way to drink Franzia.

Besides taking it out of the box, pouring the bag over everyone and screaming "tour de franzia"?

For this one party we had in college, we ended up stapling bags of Franzia to the ceiling so you could just open the valve and pour it into your mouth. We went through 70L of Franzia that party /shudder

Oh the headaches

It's fine on ice, if you let it get cold and don't let the ice melt enough to dilute it.

Holy shit thank you so much for posting this. This is the funniest thing I've seen in like a month.

You're welcome. All the world deserves to savor this sweet, sweet drama.

You know how you confirm to everyone at your university and the media that you definitely did in fact take part in butt-chugging and are probably gay? You make a fucking press conference about it for the world to see.

Lucky bastard probably had a queue out the frat hose door waiting to have a go in his sloppy bussy

That reminds me of this case study found on pubmed:

https://www.well.com/~cynsa/cement.html

Science!

Lewis Black's segment on this on the Daily Show was pretty funny. Here you go

not available in your location

Fucking racist

Pics of the rectal trauma?

TIL: Only gay men butt chug.

I am 100% sure this kid poured wine up his ass

Lawyer here. Whenever something is denied that many times it is likely 100% true.