r/drama: French is the worst language ever.

French is the worst language ever.

49 2017-07-25 by dis_is_my_account

Why you may ask? 1. They don't pronounce half the fucking letters they write, 2. They have stupid rules like you can't have two vowel sounds next to eachother because GOD FORBID they have to take a breath in between spewing out the shit they call a language, and 3. This shitstain of a Norman, William the Conqueror decided that one day he'd take over England for like 600 years or some shit and you know what happened? He RUINED the English language. The once beautiful Germanic language of English turned into some disgusting quasi-French mutt language. Mind you, I'm fine with English being a mutt language, but it's like breeding together a golden retriever and a lab and then you throw a fucking CHIHUAHUA into the mix. Chihuahuas by themselves are the dumbest thing in existence but then you decide to spread those disgusting genes to actual good dogs? Now, I might be able to live with the atrocities this language has caused, but then the French government has the AUDACITY to try and preserve their backwards language. Hey, France, you want some of these cool new loan words? No, thanks other languages, we'd rather fuck ourselves in the ass with a razor

51 comments

1 boyoyoyoyong 2017-07-25

Don't worry they will be speaking Arabic in no time

1 mehforeverybody 2017-07-25

Fuck off OP.

1 dis_is_my_account 2017-07-25

Fucking Pierres gtfo.

1 ______________pewpew 2017-07-25

You're just jelly you can't get laid

1 godofdae 2017-07-25

http://imgur.com/QnPJkGL

1 TheHillofTara 2017-07-25

It's okay the English ruined my language too.

Also French is a beautiful language.

1 ironicshitpostr 2017-07-25

What's your barbarous mother tongue then?

1 TheHillofTara 2017-07-25

You didn't get it from my username?

Gaeilge.

1 ironicshitpostr 2017-07-25

Cromwell did nothing wrong.

1 mydramaaccount 2017-07-25

Agree. Any language that includes pronunciations in which you sound as if you're preparing to hock a loogie is gross. Ban all those languages.

1 grungebot5000 2017-07-25

so that's all of europe except england, spain, and italy right? maybe greece?

good, fuck em.

1 hakkzpets 2017-07-25

You're just jealous you can't pronounce our superior words.

1 grungebot5000 2017-07-25

[navy seal copypasta, but with phoenetics]

1 Bureaucrat-72 2017-07-25

What do Phoenicians have to do with this?

1 makes_people_cringe 2017-07-25

wʌt ðə fʌk dɪd ju ʤʌst ˈfʌkɪŋ seɪ əˈbaʊt mi, ju ˈlɪtəl bɪʧ? aɪl hæv ju noʊ aɪ ˈgræʤuˌeɪtɪd tɑp ʌv maɪ klæs ɪn ðə ˈneɪvi silz, ænd aɪv bɪn ɪnˈvɑlvd ɪn ˈnumərəs ˈsikrət reɪdz ɑn æl-Quaeda, ænd aɪ hæv ˈoʊvər 300 kənˈfɜrmd kɪlz. aɪ æm treɪnd ɪn gəˈrɪlə ˈwɔrˌfɛr ænd aɪm ðə tɑp ˈsnaɪpər ɪn ði ɪnˈtaɪər ʌs ɑrmd ˈfɔrsɪz. ju ɑr ˈnʌθɪŋ tu mi bʌt ʤʌst əˈnʌðər ˈtɑrgət. aɪ wɪl waɪp ju ðə fʌk aʊt wɪð priˈsɪʒən ðə laɪks ʌv wɪʧ hæz ˈnɛvər bɪn sin bɪˈfɔr ɑn ðɪs ɜrθ, mɑrk maɪ ˈfʌkɪŋ wɜrdz. ju θɪŋk ju kæn gɛt əˈweɪ wɪð ˈseɪɪŋ ðæt ʃɪt tu mi ˈoʊvər ði ˈɪntərˌnɛt? θɪŋk əˈgɛn, ˈfʌkər. æz wi spik aɪ æm ˈkɑnˌtæktɪŋ maɪ ˈsikrət ˈnɛˌtwɜrk ʌv spaɪz əˈkrɔs ðə ˈjuˈɛˈseɪ ænd jʊər ɪp ɪz ˈbiɪŋ treɪst raɪt naʊ soʊ ju ˈbɛtər priˈpɛr fɔr ðə stɔrm, ˈmægət. ðə stɔrm ðæt waɪps aʊt ðə pəˈθɛtɪk ˈlɪtəl θɪŋ ju kɔl jʊər laɪf. jʊr ˈfʌkɪŋ dɛd, kɪd. aɪ kæn bi ˈɛniˌwɛr, ˈɛniˌtaɪm, ænd aɪ kæn kɪl ju ɪn ˈoʊvər ˈsɛvən ˈhʌndrəd weɪz, ænd ðæts ʤʌst wɪð maɪ bɛr hændz. nɑt ˈoʊnli æm aɪ ɪkˈstɛnsɪvli treɪnd ɪn əˈnɑrmd ˈkɑmbæt, bʌt aɪ hæv ˈækˌsɛs tu ði ɪnˈtaɪər ˈɑrsənəl ʌv ðə juˈnaɪtəd steɪts məˈrin kɔr ænd aɪ wɪl juz ɪt tu ɪts fʊl ɪkˈstɛnt tu waɪp jʊər ˈmɪzərəbəl æs ɔf ðə feɪs ʌv ðə ˈkɑntənənt, ju ˈlɪtəl ʃɪt. ɪf ˈoʊnli ju kʊd hæv noʊn wʌt ənˈhoʊli ˌrɛtrəˈbjuʃən jʊər ˈlɪtəl “ˈklɛvər” ˈkɑmɛnt wʌz əˈbaʊt tu brɪŋ daʊn əˈpɑn ju, ˈmeɪbi ju wʊd hæv hɛld jʊər ˈfʌkɪŋ tʌŋ. bʌt ju ˈkʊdənt, ju ˈdɪdənt, ænd naʊ jʊr ˈpeɪɪŋ ðə praɪs, ju ˈgɑdˌdæm ˈɪdiət. aɪ wɪl ʃɪt ˈfjʊri ɔl ˈoʊvər ju ænd ju wɪl draʊn ɪn ɪt. jʊr ˈfʌkɪŋ dɛd, kiddo.

1 Crowsworth 2017-07-25

England? have you heard a scouse, they sound like they all have lung cancer.

1 grungebot5000 2017-07-25

that's just from being so close to all the Celts. It's not the language's fault

1 RadioFreeReddit 2017-07-25

Spain has j China is an exception depending on how you pronune the pinyin "h"

1 scatmunchies 2017-07-25

/u/subpoutine please defend or condemn your mud-person gibberish.

1 subpoutine 2017-07-25

Qu'est ce que tu viens de putain de dire à propos de moi, petite salope? Pour ton information je t'apprends que j'ai été diplômé premier de ma promo dans la marine, et j'ai été impliqué dans de nombreux raids top secrets contre Al-Quaïda, et j'ai plus de 300 meurtres confirmés. J'ai reçu un entrainement en guerre des gorilles et je suis le meilleur sniper de toute l'armée Française. Tu n'es rien pour moi excepté une autre cible. Je vais te putain d'effacer avec une précision telle qu'elle n'a jamais été vue sur terre auparavant, note bien cela. Tu penses que tu peux t'en sortir après m'avoir dit ce genre de merdes sur Internet? Réfléchis à nouveau, enculé. En même temps que nous parlons je contacte mon réseau secret d'espions dans la France entière et ton adresse IP est en train d'être tracée en ce moment même alors tu ferais mieux de te préparer pour l'orage, ver de terre. L'orage qui efface cette petite chose pathétique que tu appelles ta vie. T'es putain de mort, gamin. Je peux être partout, n'importe quand, et je peux te tuer de plus de 700 façons différentes, et ce juste à mains nues. Non seulement je suis entraîné de façon extensive au combat sans armes, mais j'ai en plus accès a un arsenal entier provenant du corps d'armée de la marine française et je vais l'utiliser en entier pour effacer ton cul misérable de la face de ce continent, espèce de petite merde. Si seulement tu avais su quelle vengeance impie ton petit commentaire "intelligent" s'apprêtait à faire descendre sur ta tronche, peut être que tu aurais fermé ta putain de gueule. Mais tu n'as pas pu, tu ne l'as pas fait, et maintenant tu en payes le prix, espèce d'idiot. Je vais chier de la fureur sur ta tronche et tu vas te noyer dedans. T'es putain de mort, gamin.

1 SlavophilesAnonymous 2017-07-25

This is art because it's in French.

1 glmox 2017-07-25

i hate it took me less than a second to recognize this

1 RelationDramaMama 2017-07-25

Can confirm. It was my first language and I speak it fluently. AMA!

1 _Norm_ 2017-07-25

why haven't you killed yourself yet like any self-respecting Frenchmen?

1 RelationDramaMama 2017-07-25

We're cowards.

1 Crowsworth 2017-07-25

They are too busy sitting around doing fuck all, and more than likely smoking and drinking coffee. Degenerate race of people.

1 Miguk_Saram 2017-07-25

Is it true that I can get through most conversations just be saying "Allô quoi?" over and over again?

1 RelationDramaMama 2017-07-25

That or "oui ou non" with a confused smile/nod.

1 Gothmog26 2017-07-25

When Muslims take over France, will all the French flee to Quebec?

1 RelationDramaMama 2017-07-25

Possibly. But more likely we will capitulate and convert.

1 FuckTripleH 2017-07-25

Fuck that, French is to my ears as a finger up my ass is to my prostate.

If you don't enjoy it, it's because you're too much of a pussy to try

1 Deutschbag_ 2017-07-25

All this but entirely unironically.

1 holditsteady 2017-07-25

Every time I misspell a word in english it's because it has some dumbass french root. What a nonsense language

1 LadyVetinari 2017-07-25

support

1 ironicshitpostr 2017-07-25

Someone has no Romance in their soul.

1 wisty 2017-07-25

I'm trying to remember this long joke about French and English ovals.

Something about French ovals being easier to get access to, if a little prone to being overgrown, slippery when wet, etc ...

It may have been by Peter Cook?

Anyway, my point is, is sounds like you've scored some French bussy and found it's not quite as romantic as you imagined it to be.

Another interesting thing about the French - while we say they don't bath, the French say the Polish don't bath. I guess the Polish then say the Russians don't bath. I'm not sure where it goes from there.

1 Senator_Chickpea 2017-07-25

Ceci n'est pas une Tendie.

1 glmox 2017-07-25

trying to learn french and hating every second of it has basically ruined it for me

which sucks because french girls are objectively best mayos

1 marmott-e 2017-07-25

oh la la

1 Vakieh 2017-07-25

a) William the Conqueror was Norman, not French. Viking heritage.

b) Half the things that are good to eat have French origins

c) When languages take loan words from English it sounds retarded, English is the only language that can take things without sounding stupid. The Japanese word for skateboard is Sukētobōdo.

d) The only reason the US is independent is because of the French.

Lastly:

1 quinotauri 2017-07-25