Hey guys, I wanna fuck my dog but her pussy's too tight, can I use shampoo as lube?

51  2017-08-02 by IAintThatGuy

78 comments

that was grim.

I forgot about that sub for a while, and when you come back there's always great gems to post here.

well done, mission accomplished.

Quite sure Grim was supposed to be male

Jesus I forgot that sub existed from the last time it got posted. Thanks op Keep Yourself Safe

What the fuck is wrong with these people? Why would you use shampoo as lube, stop being cheap and buy some real lube, or at the least vegetable oil.

Yeah, first time I went over to my wife's place we fucked all night, broke the couch, ran out of lube, dumped some olive oil in her vag and kept going.

Funny, the same thing happened the first time I went over to your wife's place.

a girl that is great in bed just doesn't happen by chance, she needs lots of experience.

Damn right!

That's why I only date women who were sexually abused early on (to be fair, they're the only ones insane and masochistic enough to date me).

Now with added cancer!

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OP should lube up a large nail with shampoo and insert it into his urethra.

That guy from /r/incels did it without the lube. And from above.

It's gone private i think. And this one r/incel is banned

/r/incels is private at the moment (they're private half the time anyway). /r/incel was banned some time ago.

We care so much for animals here. We don't want to see one get hurt.

Yeah I am sure they have as much concern as a pimp has for his hookers

/r/ZoophileTimelines

EDIT : I wanted to make it a joke about /r/transtimelines, but holy fuck that motherfucker is also a tranny!

No he isnt. He is just incapable of dealing with the pressure of what society expects in a man so the little bitch is looking for an easy out. I suspect that is the case with a lot of mtf trans people. They just couldnt cut it.

Yeah mostly. Then they can claim sexism, transmisogyny... whenever people tell them to stop their bullshit.

Holy fuck that motherfucker is also a tranny!

If it brings you comfort, my mother is one thing i would never fuck.

That just means you're one step above Caamib.

Ah, so not TOTAL trash then.

as someone who's a member of it, the trans community literally never ceases to amaze

I think once the hype dies down, the community will be able to focus on real issues, and might be rid of the "trenders". I wonder what these people will focus on next (probably zoophilia if you look at how that guy spiraled downward).

Okay that's degeneracy and all but can any man honestly say he hasn't just tucked in the shower and pretended to have a vag at least once, just for shits and giggles?

If you say no you're a liar

You mean doing the buffalo bill?

Would you fuck me?

I'd fuck me.

Hard.

Ditto for whacked it until you're sore. It's called being a teenager.

Tuck what lol?

Is this something I'm missing out on because I'm circumcised :(

How fucking old are you dude?

Dude, I'm legal? I just don't really fuck with my balls and dick except sex or fapping.

You're telling us you've never hammered a nail through your dick?

That show is much better in nazi

If Friends had continued past the 00s this would be the progression of Ross's character, I feel.

Lol that dude is on a slippery slope. Next thing you know he becomes an sjw

Yeah, and to be fair i have a lot of issues and trauma that my life has given me. But even i could never stand to become one of them......

I don't know if it's for you but /r/nofap helped turn my life around

My nmom claims to have lost it. Dad found some old doorknobs, but none of them fit right.

I hope you don't start putting shampoo in women's vaginas.

Well this is certainly an optimistic view of OP's sex life.

Yup no risk of that. Unless there's a Silence of the Lambs type situation someday. OMG he might have the same shitty little dog!

Say what you will about Buffalo Bill, but he loved that dog, and not in a freaky have sex with it way. He just wanted a skin suit, which is an almost normal hobby compared to this freak and his dog fucking escapades.

You're right! In 2017, there are entire subreddits filled with people who IRL are worse than that famous fictionnal serial killer. I'm sad now.

Honestly, you'd be surprised. For example, i lost my virginity to my (now ex and not the dog) girlfriend at 14.

So you've had human vagina, but you like dog better?

Actually, human vagina better. Not only does a bitches vagina spike upward, making penetration actually fairly hard(Pun not intended). But it's warmer and also tighter. On a sidenote with a person, you can talk with them, allowing whoever to say what they prefer best and vice versa allowing for a somewhat better experience with a person.

allowing for a somewhat better experience with a person.

They don't all listen and obey though. Dogs might be better in that regard.

The irony of this is that i'd rather be dominated, instead of me dominating a dog.

Well then find a big dog and have him fuck you instead. Let's see if you think shampoo might work there.

The only way to find out is to actually do it! But i'd be worried about the knot however. It won't exactly fit.....

That's what the shampoo is for. Plus you'll need to get your body used to it, that's all. Google HotKinkyJo, you'll see what I mean.

Even then, i personally wouldn't be interested. It's not like i have the kink for it either.

We care so much for animals here. We don't want to see one get hurt.

dogfucking intensifies

We don't want to see one get hurt.

But we still want to force our dicks inside them for reasons

Raping dogs doesn't hurt them. They have a way of shutting that whole thing down.

It's called "biting your dick off".

I Just woke up guys.

C'mon!

We need a new holocaust for everyone who frequents that sub

Edit: Can you call someone an NMom if they dislike dogfuckers?

F U C K B O Y E

If there are people out there who deserve to be investigated by the authorities, those are the people. I hope they all get anally raped without lube by HIV-infected huge black dick. There should be no mercy.

Wow the authorities in your country sure operate differently

I'm in the US.

sounds right tbh

Nah, in Canada i'd just get like almost nothing. I can just play the victim and claim how confused i am and voila!

Nobody is confused enough to fuck dogs.

I know. I was saying i could claim that to get out of legal trouble.

I don't think you understand how law works.

this reminds me of the guy who burned his preteen niece's pussy with melted butter and then tried to silence her with free N64 games

what

Lurk moar.

Wasn't it her asshole? And I've seen variations of that story.

so fucking fake

I wish!

no I think the sub is just for trolling. no one does this shit.

Your talking to the guy who wants to up above you!

How the fuck does reddit stay open?

I mean, you get some people bitching about the racists or the tankies or the bullies or the meanies or the incels but this... this is a sub explicitly devoted to fucking raping animals.

Still... I prefer them to the cunts at SRD