I can take a 9-inch dildo up my butt, because I'm an adult and I solve my own problems

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I bet having a beer with notch would be fun

dear lord i just googled him and he is a bald fatty who wears fedora! this is kinda hilarious

I'd suck his dick for some of that Minecraft money. Hell, even if it's in kronor

Who the fuck is that guy in his profile pic?

Aifur is a tourist trap, Sjätte tunnan is a better option for decent beverages.

u/xnotch why did you have to go full pizzagate? It made your shitposting go from fun to just depressing.

With a billionaire behind it, we may finally get to the bottom of the disappearance of Madeleine McCann and figure out why Obama thought it was worth millions of taxpayer dollars to fly in "hot dogs" for a White House party

like, it was a bizarre amount of money but it wasn't millions

Do you think John will play better dominoes on pizza or pasta?

My dad used to joke that my little brother played soccer better "on pop tarts".

You know what else is a white people thing?

Pedophile circles

You left a pizza-related map on this handkerchief

They're honestly probably talking about drugs but I like the pedophile angle so...

Not to mention they had some tranny sex band come play at a child's pizza parlor. That plus alefantis's weird Instagram puts him in the box of "kiddy diddler" for sure

James "J'aime les enfants" Alefantis

Pasta, gotta carb load before strenuous activity

/>pizza doesn't have a lot of carbohydrates

Pizza is healthy my man, all 5 food groups

I wonder how retarded someone has to be to actually believe

Obama thought it was worth millions of taxpayer dollars to fly in "hot dogs" for a White House party

It's in Skippy Podesta's email inbox. Take a look at them; you just might find a great risotto recipe

With walnut sauce!

Walnut ketchup?

It's not in Skippy's email box.

It's based on an email from Fred Burton from Stratfor (Stratfor was hacked years ago, I think in 2012):

https://wikileaks.org/gifiles/docs/12/1223066_re-get-ready-for-chicago-hot-dog-friday-.html

Burton is just larping. The same refers to Obama in his emails as "Imam Hussein" and calls all Arabs towel heads.

I call all Mexicans "wetbacks" in my personal emails. Does that mean I'm bullshitting too?

If you're simultaneously think that Obama spends $65,000 on flying hot dogs in without proof, then yes.

My proof is that Stratfor's CSO said it. Who am I going to believe: a random nobody on reddit or one of the foremost leading authorities on security and terrorism?

I don't give a shit. Maybe you should also believe that Mormonism is Voodoo, because that's also his opinion.

If the guy knew that Obama spend $65,000 on flying hot dogs, he wouldn't use "I think ... ".

well, mormonism is of the devil, so he's not far off.

as for "i think", maybe it was 80k, maybe it was 100k? who knows, he can't really remember the exact number

Or it could be $0, since he can't really remember the exact number.

sure. could be millions like I said earlier but, regardless, why is obama flying in outside "food"

Why do you think it was only food? If I was the president of the US who lived a good part of his live in Chicago and had a dinner party, I would fly in the guy and his crew which cooked the $3 hot dogs while I was living off while in college and smoking weed. I would not only fly them in, I would give them the best room in the Hay-Adams across the White House.

that's why I put food in quotations. american tax dollars being spent so irresponsibly deserves a congressional investigation and I'm glad notch is asking the tough questions

Ehh, $65,000 is like two weeks of golf cart rentals at a Trump resort for the Secret Service agents our chubster needs in case he trips and needs help to get his fat ass of the ground.

the difference is one is just blatant unchecked spending and the other is capitalism of the finest variety.

You could screenshot your comment and post it to /r/latestagecapitalism for karma.

He didnt. Youre fucking retarded.

Again: think I'm gonna believe the CSO of Stratfor over a redditor

You wouldnt be very good entertainment if you didnt.

Hahaha what an idiot he thought it was millions when it was just actually 50,000 dollars worth of "hot dogs" for a party of a few hundred people.

Wow imagine actually typing that. HAHAHAH wow. Just wow. Is this guy for real? hahaha

Youre fucking retarded if you believe that too.

It made your shitposting go from fun to really fun.

I'm just waiting for the news notch has committed suicide. It's clear he suffers from depression. Imagine being that rich and caring about politics/internet drama.

He really should buy a business or get a really involved hobby.

Like programming for example.

Autism Simulator 2017

Better make them think they can actually do something useful, I'd suggest calling it

Digcraft

That's the beauty of Autism Simulator 2017, it will teach them useful skills.

The boss levels are ordering food in public while maintaining eye contact and the tutorial is showering, brushing your teeth and putting on clean and matching clothing in the morning.

The boss levels are ordering food in public while maintaining eye contact

By the way, a totally random fact: the first time I did 15 grams of "magic truffles" (that's like shrooms, but not outlawed at the time), on the next day I was amazed at how easy it was to tell the lady at the local fast food joint that I want the tortilla with me but not in a packet, like, whatever, if she misunderstands I'll just explain it again, who cares.

Though I personally would attribute that not to some magical properties of shrooms, but to the fact that after surviving like four hours walking home through cold rain because I couldn't possibly tolerate being around other people in a train, noisy and sharply smelling of their drinks and totally seeing right through my pretense of not tripping balls all of them.

After getting through that simple social interactions didn't even register as something to worry about.

The boss levels are ordering food in public while maintaining eye contact

By the way, a totally random fact: the first time I did 15 grams of "magic truffles" (that's like shrooms, but not outlawed at the time), on the next day I was amazed at how easy it was to tell the lady at the local fast food joint that I want the tortilla with me but not in a packet, like, whatever, if she misunderstands I'll just explain it again, who cares.

Though I personally would attribute that not to some magical properties of shrooms, but to the fact that after surviving like four hours walking home through cold rain because I couldn't possibly tolerate being around other people in a train, noisy and sharply smelling of their drinks and totally seeing right through my pretense of not tripping balls all of them.

After getting through that simple social interactions didn't even register as something to worry about.

"Notch buys twitter and buzzfeed"

Nah, he needs a more focused goal like creating the perfect tendie. Notch definitely would know a good tendie and could probably make bank if he opened a restaurant that specialized in chicken.

Clever play-on-words - he could call the restaurant 'Minecraft' - like the game.

How much is twitter even worth? Seems as it is filled with a lot of shitposters so the service is free i guess.

he really should just fund the first right wing death squad, become the right wing george soros

Minecraft death squads

Truly, the revolution is powered by autism.

Imagine being that rich and NOT caring about entertainment.

Hopefully her left some money to the /r/drama fund so we can get some neet bux

Better than being poor and caring about it, I suppose.

Notch is an okay dude, who gets a lot of shit, he, mostly, doesn't deserve.

I, like, the, way, you type, out, sentences.

I, like, the, way, you, move.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdcTmpvDO0I

Notch is an okay dude who gets a lot of shit he, mostly, doesn't deserve.

Here, I fixed your commas.

even the commas surrounding "mostly" are unnecessary. The comment would flow best without any commas at all lol

lol

/u/xNotch i ordered 2 papa john's cheese pizzas the other night. do i need to lawyer up too? fuck.

Were you watching dragon hentai while you ordered the pizzas?

You sick fuck

Hahah Notch creating great drama again. Just look at those triggered in the comments here!

Look at all these poor people throwing shade at a billionaire.

Just pour some champagne on them from your balcony and let trickle down economics take care of the rest

I for one support u/xNotch and his efforts to make the media a less biased place. The reason fake news has gained such traction is because a lot of people nowadays either don't bother or can't afford to enforce existing libel laws. If the news media had to worry about a lawsuit every time one of their biased reporters distorted the truth, it would go a long way towards solving our society's current problems.

I know we modded Notch because of his superhuman capacity to create butthurt leftist drama, but honestly this is exactly the kind of thing I would do also if I was a billionaire.

Only right wing nooz is real nooz

Anti-American media outlets are inherently fake.

this was the worst comment in this thead btw

Meh , both are completly terrible. Problem with MSM is they see anyone that isn't a journalist as fair play.

Suing someone from libel while you falsely accuse others of pedophilia doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

tweet some dumb shit

"hey, don't write about the dumb shit I wrote!"

I love people with Fuck You money

That guy is right... you need some IQ to get the point

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/u/xNotch is controlled by lawyer firms and investment consultants or whatever you want to call them. /u/xNotch, there's still hope that you will have a successful heir and not have every one of the billion dollars seized for something you said or did on a drunken or coked out night. Do you have a private intelligence firm, private security guard and a "mentor" who would get you out of trouble?

If not, the answer is consuming the blood of children. You have already expressed your support for (pizzagate). Peter Thiel has already started consuming child blood and even tried to discredit it using shills. Use your billions wisely.

i wouldn't get my hopes up, Daily Beast isn't nearly as stupid as AJ Daulerio

I'm convinced this type of thing is the very force of nature propping up Trump's continued existence.

You want a gay man to use notch's sex tape to take down the daily beast? And then have all the "progressive" whine about how evil the man who got revenge for being outed by strong ethical journalists who diddunuthingwrung is?