Pig fucking retards in /r/iowa jerk eachother raw over gas station pizza. Anyone who suggests that dough kneaded by a kid who just washed the bathroom might be shit is downvoted to oblivion. Bonus someone non ironically uses "bomb diggity"

27  2017-09-03 by IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu

65 comments

Cool story, bro

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Snappy keeping me on my toed

How shitty a place do you have to live in where gas station pizza can be considered good

Any state with more hogs than humans likely

Obviously Iowa. The best thing Iowa has ever, or will ever, produce is Slipknot, and they're not even good.

2001 called they want Slipknot back

Oh, don't get me started on Iowa man

I did my time and all I could think was like "Aaah, I want out!" Not what I'd call an effusive fate. It doesn't quite cut it. The soul is not exactly vibrant over there. The reckoning, coming to terms with being there felt more like the sickening, you know?

Anyway, Back at you. Your comment is a subversion almost. I'd even go as far as calling it "pseudo-sacred with psycho virgin" if that makes sense to you. Texans will never get it though, like go drill your deserts, go dig your graves. After that, just fill your mouth with all the money you will save on oil or whatever.

Oh yeah, Iowa. You've got this constant feeling of sinking in, as if you're getting smaller again. Coming undone, it has begun. I'm not the only one feeling this way right?

And the rain will kill us all, they get some real bad weather there. Makes us want to throw ourselves against the wall. Is this too whiny btw? I hope that no one else can see the preservation of the "martyr" in me, because I don't want to give off that impression.

Psychosocial, psychosocial, psychosocial.

you think you sound smart, but you actually sound like a fucking faget

I know man. I am a faget.

But are you Bob Faget?

Do you host America's Gayest Home Videos?

America's Gayest Home Videos with Bob Faget

Sounds like a solid pitch. I'm owed some favors by important people in L.A. Do you wanna partner up and make this show a reality?

You have to be a retarded faggot not to like Casey's gas station pizza. It's greasy as fuck and the cheese has a vague resemblance of liquid rubber but god damn it's delicious.

Really everyone thst hasn't experienced real New Haven appiza and then wax on about good pizza should rightfully be considered subhuman.

4 corners in yelm wa would like a word with you

Did you see the name of that sub? It's a sub of pig people that should be gassed

This but not ironically

/u/doublesoup what is Kum and Go?

Chain of quick service gloryholes in the Midwest

Gas stations.

On a scale from 1 to 10, where 10 is the death of everyone you care about simultaneously, how emotionally distraught does /r/iowa make you?

3.375

You don't have to lie to us

I rounded up

I knew this would be about Casey's. We have them in Illinois, too. Their pizza isn't as good as most brands of frozen pizza.

I'd happily swap 1993 for the current timeframe tbqh fam.

The bomb diggity loser says he's from New York coty

RECORD SCRATCH

NEW YORK CITY???

/u/PM_me_yer_kittens have you ever been to a real state? I can't understand how anybody could think Casey's pizza - or any shitty convenience store pizza - is "good" after eating real food.

some special pizza spice on top

What is that supposed to mean, oregano?

Rat poison actually

What does that even mean? I understand I'm not eating fancy pizza place pizza, that's in a different category... but as far as gas station breakfast pizza goes, it's as good as I've ever had. What do you consider a 'real state'...

any state where people actually try to defend "gas station breakfast pizza" isnt a real state

Sick burn bro

I went to college in Iowa, Iowa is like if a white bread small town in 1992 full of people who think Applebee's is fancy dining was an entire state.

Basically the state can be accurately represented by this sizzler promotional video

Ironically no sizzlers in Iowa

Jesus. You don't have to be in this Sub if you hate iowa... That's the beauty of Reddit

/r/drama is Iowan?

Top mod here is Iowan so basically.

Chicago

I apologize I wasn't aware Iowa was off limits on r/Drama

Chiraq

the head mod of drama and iowa are the same. So I went ahead and reprted this post.

So I went ahead and reprted this post.

LOL good luck with that kiddo.

But did you cover it with Heinz taco sauce?

nuke the midwest

Are you saying we should send North Korea Heinz taco sauce? 🌮 🌮 🌮

I'm Hillary Clinton and I approve this message

u/reasontrumpwon

To be fair, the dough is probably kneaded in a factory by a machine, and then frozen, if we are talking about gas station pizza.

They claim made fresh....

What is this, a Quik Trip? Hunt Brothers brand pizza? Pilot J?

I'm too retarded to read the link.

Casey's lol but good guesses

It is?

Yeah frozen dough balls

It's not though. The first thing I had to do on my shift was mix the dough I would need for the day. I had to make sure the temp on the water was right so the yeast would ride properly, then it went into a giant mixer that could take your arm off.

Weird my kids worked at one in Center Point and they got frozen dough balls that they warmed up in a heater and then flattened out.

The one I was at in Springville used the dough machine and was roughly the same time.

Also, the pointers can suck it, but not as much as the c.c. wildcats.

Yeah I think both suck :_)

having worked there, I had to mix the pizza dough with a giant dangerous mixer. That's why the crust want perfect, because I was to lazy to make it look nice

>flyovers

>knowing what pizza is

pick one and only one

Pretending Chicago isn't the pizza capital of America

chicago is quintessential not knowing what pizza is actually

Looks like a perfect pizza-pie to me!