every time I get summoned here, I have a quick look around and find that this place gets worse and worse, it's like a black hole which mangles everything that gets sucked into it. (src)
Throwaway because this situation is crazy and I don't want it associated with my account. Okay, so before I start, please note that I have always considered myself open minded and non judgmental when it comes to human sexuality. I have a live and let live attitude, and don't care what people do in their private lives. That being said, I'm very freaked out and am not sure what to do.
Saturday night my boyfriends brothers girlfriend texted me to go out. She had a baby a few weeks ago and hadn't drank in awhile. We are acquaintances and talk on Facebook sometimes. I said that sounded fun and we agreed to meet up at the bar my boyfriend works at in town. I know she was a stripper in the past and that she was bisexual. I have never cared about her past or sexual orientation because frankly it's not my business. Little did I know what I was getting myself into when I agreed to this night out.
We meet at the bar where my boyfriend works and she brings two friends, a girl and a guy. Immediately they start talking about their deviant sexual tumblr pages where they have thousands of followers. They show me GRAPHIC pictures of themselves, where they let guys beat them because it turns them on. Then, in the middle of the bar the girls friend starts flashing people. They then talk about the gross pictures they send to guys for money. Okay, whatever, but please don't do this all in public where my boyfriend works. My boyfriend works at this bar and I didn't want to make him look bad so I steered the conversation to something more casual. I ask how they met. Big mistake. Apparently they were both dating the same guy and had assault charges against each other, but after multiple orgies together they made up. I decide I leave my boyfriends bar because these people can't be trusted to behave rationally.
We got to another bar and they ALL start making out with each other. Apparently her and my boyfriends brother have an open relationship. Okay , that's fine. But then she comes onto me and wants me to join in! I reiterate that I'm not interested, and the other girl starts caressing me hand. I pull my hand away and then the girl keeps telling me how attractive I am and everything. I'm really uncomfortable so we go back to me apartment. Her friend locks herself in my bathroom and doesn't come out for 30 minutes. I force her to check on the girl, and she still won't come out.
Finally I text my boyfriend and give him a brief run down of everything, and tell him how uncomfortable I am. He works bar hours, so he wouldn't be home until 3:30, but he was pissed. The girl then proceeds to tell me very disturbing details about my boyfriends brother and hers sex life. I didn't know what to say.
Looking back I wish I was more aggressive and told them to leave. I wish the second it got weird I said "you guys are into this, but I'm not so I'm going to go home". But I didn't and now I really regret that. Eventually they left but now I'm not sure what to do. I feel really angry at myself for not putting my foot down, but honestly I don't want to associate with this girl anymore. She came onto me repeatedly after I said no, and she dates my boyfriends brother! The problem is that she's my boyfriend's nieces mother and is around all the time. I'm not sure how I can avoid her. I told my mom the story and she thinks I should text her and say "what you're into is what you're into, but you shouldn't have projected that onto me". To be honest I feel weird doing that. I know I have a problem putting my foot down and speaking up when I feel weird, but it was such a strange situation. Like I said, I'm not a prude. I'd had one night stands and done my thing....but this is a whole other level. She disrespected my relationship with my boyfriend by trying to come on to me. She knows we are monogamous.
Can someone please give me some guidance? I know I should have been more firm....that's something I should work on. It was just SO weird.
TLDR: my boyfriends brothers girlfriend and her sexually deviant friends aggressively came onto me and made me uncomfortable and I don't know how to deal.
I'm really uncomfortable so we go back to me apartment.
I know that there's like zero chance this scenario actually happened but if OP was uncomfortable with the way everyone else was behaving why the hell would she invite them back to her apartment?
You just make some excuse (I'm really tired, etc...) and go home.
'you should do this' -> 'yes i know but i'm in therapy i can't' -> he shouldn't do that -> 'yes but i'm in therapy so that's maybe why' -> 'yeah but you really should do this' -> 'yes i'm in therapy i can't i'm in therapy'
14 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2017-09-11
every time I get summoned here, I have a quick look around and find that this place gets worse and worse, it's like a black hole which mangles everything that gets sucked into it. (src)
Snapshots:
I am a bot. (Info / Contact)
1 PhysicsIsMyMistress 2017-09-11
Throwaway because this situation is crazy and I don't want it associated with my account. Okay, so before I start, please note that I have always considered myself open minded and non judgmental when it comes to human sexuality. I have a live and let live attitude, and don't care what people do in their private lives. That being said, I'm very freaked out and am not sure what to do.
Saturday night my boyfriends brothers girlfriend texted me to go out. She had a baby a few weeks ago and hadn't drank in awhile. We are acquaintances and talk on Facebook sometimes. I said that sounded fun and we agreed to meet up at the bar my boyfriend works at in town. I know she was a stripper in the past and that she was bisexual. I have never cared about her past or sexual orientation because frankly it's not my business. Little did I know what I was getting myself into when I agreed to this night out.
We meet at the bar where my boyfriend works and she brings two friends, a girl and a guy. Immediately they start talking about their deviant sexual tumblr pages where they have thousands of followers. They show me GRAPHIC pictures of themselves, where they let guys beat them because it turns them on. Then, in the middle of the bar the girls friend starts flashing people. They then talk about the gross pictures they send to guys for money. Okay, whatever, but please don't do this all in public where my boyfriend works. My boyfriend works at this bar and I didn't want to make him look bad so I steered the conversation to something more casual. I ask how they met. Big mistake. Apparently they were both dating the same guy and had assault charges against each other, but after multiple orgies together they made up. I decide I leave my boyfriends bar because these people can't be trusted to behave rationally.
We got to another bar and they ALL start making out with each other. Apparently her and my boyfriends brother have an open relationship. Okay , that's fine. But then she comes onto me and wants me to join in! I reiterate that I'm not interested, and the other girl starts caressing me hand. I pull my hand away and then the girl keeps telling me how attractive I am and everything. I'm really uncomfortable so we go back to me apartment. Her friend locks herself in my bathroom and doesn't come out for 30 minutes. I force her to check on the girl, and she still won't come out.
Finally I text my boyfriend and give him a brief run down of everything, and tell him how uncomfortable I am. He works bar hours, so he wouldn't be home until 3:30, but he was pissed. The girl then proceeds to tell me very disturbing details about my boyfriends brother and hers sex life. I didn't know what to say.
Looking back I wish I was more aggressive and told them to leave. I wish the second it got weird I said "you guys are into this, but I'm not so I'm going to go home". But I didn't and now I really regret that. Eventually they left but now I'm not sure what to do. I feel really angry at myself for not putting my foot down, but honestly I don't want to associate with this girl anymore. She came onto me repeatedly after I said no, and she dates my boyfriends brother! The problem is that she's my boyfriend's nieces mother and is around all the time. I'm not sure how I can avoid her. I told my mom the story and she thinks I should text her and say "what you're into is what you're into, but you shouldn't have projected that onto me". To be honest I feel weird doing that. I know I have a problem putting my foot down and speaking up when I feel weird, but it was such a strange situation. Like I said, I'm not a prude. I'd had one night stands and done my thing....but this is a whole other level. She disrespected my relationship with my boyfriend by trying to come on to me. She knows we are monogamous.
Can someone please give me some guidance? I know I should have been more firm....that's something I should work on. It was just SO weird.
TLDR: my boyfriends brothers girlfriend and her sexually deviant friends aggressively came onto me and made me uncomfortable and I don't know how to deal.
1 LoveThisWebSite 2017-09-11
GOOD call
1 OniTan 2017-09-11
/u/throwawayhelpmeplz19 you were sexually assaulted. Call the police and press charges.
1 botchlings 2017-09-11
I know that there's like zero chance this scenario actually happened but if OP was uncomfortable with the way everyone else was behaving why the hell would she invite them back to her apartment?
You just make some excuse (I'm really tired, etc...) and go home.
1 heavenlytoaster 2017-09-11
Because women being taught to be responsible for themselves is mysoginy, so they learn to be retarded.
1 OccasionallyClueless 2017-09-11
Some people have a hard time saying no to other people. They just aren't used to asserting themselves.
1 nmx179 2017-09-11
Should have joined the orgy tbqhwyfam
What a boring prude
1 CucksLoveTrump 2017-09-11
Join the orgy then claim the brother raped you. Ezpz
1 glmox 2017-09-11
?????
1 deere442 2017-09-11
95% of /r/relationships is "i'm retarded and dont know how to voice my problems"
and the other 5% is trollbait
1 ohfughalb 2017-09-11
that's a hell of an understatement m8
1 neutralvoter 2017-09-11
that entire thread:
'you should do this' -> 'yes i know but i'm in therapy i can't' -> he shouldn't do that -> 'yes but i'm in therapy so that's maybe why' -> 'yeah but you really should do this' -> 'yes i'm in therapy i can't i'm in therapy'
1 Ennui2778 2017-09-11
Everybody involved in this story is fucking hideous. I've never been more positive of anything in my life.