Brave redditor in /r/NSFW_GIF forgets women shower, gets fucked in the ass by porn connoisseurs

37  2017-09-12 by IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu

58 comments

Error in fetchQuote() line 4 character 0: 400 AUTHENTICATION_ERROR - could not connect to server

Snapshots:

  1. This Post - archive.org, megalodon.jp*, snew.github.io, archive.is

I am a bot. (Info / Contact)

u/hagbergp

I've fucked two girls in a hotel pool bathroom

Things that have happened: NOT THIS

HAHA!! awesome

Commenting on porn videos, that truly has to be rock bottom

Oh look at Mr rich fancy pants here not commenting there and asking for sauce. I bet you pay for your porn don't you? You slut!

Can I get sauce tho?

Sure!

Homemade Pasta Sauce Recipe

prep 10 mins |cook 2 hours | total 2 hours, 10 mins

yield 6 -8

Authentic tomato marinara sauce from fresh tomatoes, basil and garlic.

Ingredients

  • 5 pounds of fresh tomatoes, peeled and seeded (to peel, cut a small "x" on the top and drop in to boiling water for 10 seconds and drop in to an ice bath. Skin will easily peel off)

  • 1/4 cup olive oil (or tallow)

  • 3 medium onions, diced

  • 8 cloves of fresh garlic (or more to taste), finely minced

  • 1/3 cup fresh basil leaves, finely chopped

  • 1 sprig of fresh thyme leaves (or 1/2 tsp dried)

  • 1 sprig of fresh oregano (or 1 teaspoon dried oregano)

  • 2 bay leaves (remove when done)

  • 2 sprigs of parsley (or 1 tsp dried)

  • 1 teaspoon sea salt

  • 1 carrot (1/2 should be grated and added to sauce, the other half should be added at the end of cooking and then removed)

  • Optional: 1 tablespoon honey

Instructions

  • Pour the olive oil into a large stockpot over medium heat.

  • Add diced onions, garlic and grated carrots.

  • Saute for 6-8 minutes or until onions are translucent and tender.

  • Add tomatoes, chopped basil leaves, oregano, thyme bay leaves, parsley and sea salt.

  • Simmer on low heat for 2-3 hours or until cooked down and starting to darken.

  • Add carrot piece for the last 30 minutes to absorb acidity.

  • Remove sprigs of herbs and piece of carrot.

  • Optional: Use an immersion blender to puree sauce until smooth (for a thicker sauce, skip this step.

  • Use fresh or store in the fridge up to 1 week, or can it according to your canner's instructions for tomato products.

Goddammit

McDonalds Schezuan Sauce

HAHAHAHAHA PICKLE RICK AMIRITE?

MY MAAAAAAN!! A WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB SNAPS FINGERS

MORTY MORTY BUURRRPP MORTY THEY HAVE TO BURRRP GO BACK MORTY!

You really do need to get into the mindset of the faggot atheist Redditor to understand why this show is so popular. These people have never heard of adult animation in their lifes that wasn't stuff like Family Guy, it was completely alien to them. And they can't laugh at these shows because they consider these shows stupid. They want a show that isn't necessarily smart or funny or well-written, but that appears to be to appeal to their surface-level taste. Because these people live for that mindless self-validation. They don't actually understand what makes for good writing or good comedy, nor have they ever picked a book about physics. They want to pretend they do so and circlejerk themselves, that's what matters. Rick and Morty is just perfect for its demographic: these same college-age self-important Bernouts who "fucking love science". The entire foundation of the show is built upon the dichotomy between "silly sci-fi humor and references" and " things are super deep and tragic bro". This pseudo-intellectual "nothing even matters, I'm insecure about existence, we are all going to die" bullshit that R&M shits out in almost every episode is what appeals to it's audience. The show doesn't actually have the tact to even begin to offer an interesting presentation and discussion of any philosophy, so it spouts these edgy teenage catchphrases. Nevermind the bean-headed, noodle-limbed unexpressive character design, or how the story is non-existent and only comes up when the writers beg you to feel something for these characters so devoid of substance, or how the entire show is a trendy forgettable scenario of the week memefest with just enough sci-fi references to trick kids into thinking they are smart for understanding them, or how the characters have somehow been reduced to even more obnoxious caricatures than before, none of these things matter. What matters is that it appeals to the millenial redditor audience, and that's what's selling Rick and Morty. Visa mindre SVARA

SERIOUS POSTING TIME! If you want a source, post a link on namethatpornstar.com, because crowdsourcing now includes pornography identification.

Nigga that's for pussy ass bitches to rely on! Real niggas reverse search the shit out of screenshots from a specific scene.

Dude you don't know jack about drama until you start unironically shitposting in porn video comments.

What's rock bottom is leaving your phone number or email on a porn video and asking the actress to contact you.

/u/hagbergp why exactly is sex gross to you? Have you considered you may be gay or transsexual?

lol for sure not those. I'm a practicing Buddhist. And I've come to realize lately that if I'm not planning to have a family... so why was I still having sex? Relationships with women only caused me stress and made me upset.

so why was I still having sex?

For make the peepee feel good duh

Think deeply on that statement. It's suppose to feel good. SO you have sex. SO you make more ppl. Nature is that way. It's a trap to a life that is full of stress.

Just use a condom buddy!

I suppose. But then there's the "do I talk to her after?" Lol. Women are weird man. They are like us... but I think they have ulterior motive. Like deep down inside they want babies. And they always get hella emotional. And I was to just fck and dip like I've been doing; they cause stress because they latch on like parasites. Fuck. Sorry

Naw dude it's cool. That's why it's always better to just fuck men. They don't have any of the emotional clinginess and you can go do bro shit afterwards or just be like "yo it's cool I gotta go walk my dog" and he'll get the hint

HAHAHAHA.

if you view nature of life as a trap its not going to be long before you realize the only way to win that game is to kill urself

I'm not playing to win or lose. For there is nothing to gain.

I mean are you just trying to have a completely stress free existence, what exactly is your goal here?

Are you a guy or a girl... before I start

guy

Idk how much you have followed. But funny that this is a different sub now hahaha.

Basically man. Take sex out of life. The possibility of it. The idea of it. And the whole lust for it. And you'll look at EVERYTHING differently. And then you'll trip on how much sex is in our culture.

Most negative stress-filled things come from either the male sexual hierarchy or the act of pair bonding and mating with a woman. Which doesn't make sense if you don't want a kid.

The goal is no stress. Yes. To alleviate stress. For me, women/ being desirable and wanted, has been very stressful. Think about it, back in middle school we were going after girls and trying to get girlfriends. Where we were really trying to have kids in middle school? then why do we want to girlfriend?

Sex is in our culture because at the end of the day its why any of us are here, all the way back to the advent of animal sexual reproduction anything that cant reproduce just doesn't go forward simple as that. And I get where you're coming from in that there is a shit load of cultural bullshit about women that can make your life stressful and make you stay in and go into bullshit relationships that only hurt you. But at the end of the day the two years I spent with a caring loving girlfriend who I also loved were the best two years of my life so far and all my hobbies and interests while fun just seem like filler in comparison.

And I can relate you feel. And to add onto that. I feel that whole idea is a trick by nature. Humans are fine as far as our numbers and a species goes.. yet we still crave pussy and girls still wana be desired by guys. It's built in. And I just trip on that because it's a life changer. Nature is telling you to fuck and have a kid. That kid will change your life. Better or worse is perspective. But you will have more responsibility and stress. Yet.. we still want pussy. Why?? Now I feel it's due to a hierarchy with males. Like I'm better than you if she wants me over you. And she is better than her because she has me and I'm the best. What do you think?

Nature doesn't play tricks because nature as we understand it isn't sentient. If you think of humans as being designed by a sentient being then you can see how not putting a "sense the population density and act nicer to others" is a trick, but nature as we know it is a serious of processes that either work well enough with the world to propagate forward in time or they disappear. If you look at quorom sensing in bacteria you can see how detection of population density can quickly evolve when there are many small populations and the ones that fail to sense dissapear but this is the first time in human history that there has been a population this dense and connected and there are no other human populations that can evolve and propagate if they "dont make the same mistakes we do (which comes down to genetics)". Basically at this point we are working with whatever genetic machinery got us to this point not genetic machinery designed to be used AT THIS POINT (which didnt exist when the machinery was "made") and that's why not having sex and being unloved makes you sad. Tell me if I overcomplicated anything here.

I'm not sad. I'm actually feeling kind of enlightened. Like I've figured something out, but don't know what.

Was this reply meant for me?

Yes. Of course

I think hierarchies are a natural requirement of human organization. For a system that is greater than the sum of its parts to work there has to be systematic control over the parts, at least enough for the parts to serve their function to the greater entity. This exists on basically every level of human organization.

Yeah. For sure. There's no getting around it eh? It just makes me disgusted.

I don't think its completely hopeless. Any human has the free will to attempt to create their own hierarchies and change others. Additionally you also have the free will to avoid making a biological choice (like attaining sex) in favor of one based on your values/ethics, whether that faculty only exists to stop you from being killed by a group of humans for breaking the group rules is irrelevant to the goal of creating a "nicer" hierarchy. But it is worth keeping in mind two things that there are always hierarchies, even in Buddhism and zen which at its core is just another set of values and an associated hierarchy for their enforcement/practice and that any hierarchy built on openness and niceness opens itself up to manipulation by malicious people (a huge amount of hippie communes end up being taken over by a smooth talking cult leader and I've heard of zen masters who have sex with their married students).

Yeah. I guess. It's more of the male sex hierarchy I'm talking about.

That you are better if you have more sex? Like I said you can implement value/ethics systems against this. Just look at the harsh enforcement of monogamy for a shit load of human history.

It's hard to explain over text. But I think I'll be alright. It's only when I see guys putting girls on a pedestal, is when it bothers me

It prolly did smell tho

Right!!??

You known some of those girls pissed in that water, then it dried up all over them and mixed in with their poor oral hygiene/bad breath.

That.., and pizza. Mmmm

And poorly wiped asses.

And they are all like "why does my pussy always itch!?"

so why was I still having sex?

DOG. Just stop.

I have.

Implying a faggot or tranny porn set wouldn't smell like cum and shit.

Mistitled - troll gets porn sub to bite massive bait

Ah the "I was only acting retarded" defense

No matter how old, it's still just as ineffective as always

Retards acting like retards to bait even bigger retards is what we live for. This is not the kind of thing we should be discouraging.

It prolly did smell tho

Every time someone on Reddit mentions having worked on a porn set and answers questions, they always seem to mention how rancid it smells from all the sweat and fuck fumes. Combine that with the chlorine it probably did, I'm surprised the guy got hammered so much for that.

I have no doubt that it stunk like a tuna and sardine factory there, but that's beyond the point. Not the place to provide that ""insight""

tru

Right??

Redditors are children, and porn (and the girls involved) are their perfect little fantasy. If you do anything to tarnish their childish fantasy, they throw shit at you.

So I guess they are also like monkeys. Little kid monkeys. Monklets.

Pretty sure it's not porn.

now this is a hot take

Smells like ass mixed with feet

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

He's right you know. Whether those women showered or not, the pool still smells like the folds of an obese person

I imagine it's more like a sardine cannery but then again what do I know

See the thing about posts like this is that I think worse about the person that posts it here than the person everyone is supposed to be making fun of.

That's okay fam, retards like you need something to enjoy in life

And what's that bruh

is commenting on porn videos/reddit threads listed in the DSM somewhere as a criteria for some sort of dangerous social tendencies? If not it should be tbh