it just keeps getting funnier

230  2017-09-17 by uhuhuhu

228 comments

I am not sure which is more cringey, the litany of erroneous assumptions you splayed out or the act of calling upon the student archetype with the intent of derision. Anti-intellectualism, check. src

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Rocket Man

Toppest kek

If you replace the OCEAN MAN emoji pasta with ROCKET MAN it still makes sense:

ROCKET MAN 🚀 😍 Take me by the hand ✋ lead me to the land that you understand 🙌 🚀 ROCKET MAN 🚀 😍 The voyage 🚲 to the corner of the 🌎 globe is a real trip 👌 🚀 ROCKET MAN 🚀 😍 The crust of a tan man 👳 imbibed by the sand 👍 Soaking up the 💦 thirst of the land 💯

When the fuck did a ween song become an emoji pasta?

they're a meme band, how is that a surprise

Because they aren't a meme band? Do they make meme Music occasionally, yes. Is that their primary focus, no.

they're a meme band and there's nothing wrong with that.

The song was in a Spongebob movie, which increases your chance of being turned into a meme by about 5000%.

That is very true. That and Where'd the cheese go? Was a fucking failed Pizza Hut commercial

Asked him how Rocket Man is doing.

This is funny af.

For real, he knows exactly what he is doing and its freaking hilarious.

What's that? Pandering to the reality tv demographic?

yeah duh

And us degenerates.

Psaw, in order to count as a demographic you first have to be actual people.

Well it got him the Presidency so I'd say it's a good strategy.

Good for him, bad for...everyone else

As a non-American I've gotten a tremendous amount of enjoyment out of the Trump Administration. Always look at the bright side of life ;).

You could say the same for any President.

Obama got very rich during his term. Most of the country got poorer.

Are you implying that isn't >50% of The US currently?

47.9%

more like 35% overall, but like 25% of americans don't count

It's been his (very obvious) strategy to keep his base behind him, giving them enemies to rally against and 'rah-rah' slogans to chant. It's been a common strategy since elections began. Twitter just provided the direct connection.

I always kind of wonder, are people like you genuinely ignorant of politics, or are you just being pissy because the other side lost?

How am I being ignorant when I give the same explanation as you, but I use less words?

I always kind of wonder, are people like you genuinely ignorant of politics, or are you just being pissy because the other side lost?

imagine having your head so far up your rectum that you say that after agreeing with the lad

Pretendingtoberetarded.jpg

Oh no, hes gone full fucking retarded and the most amazing part is peoples reaction to it on both sides of the political aisle.

FASC==BASHED?

Yes! And of course his supporters falling all over themselves to defend him as he spins further and further out of control too. Its pretty freaking funny watching both sides react to him.

HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US REEEEEEEEEEEEE

OMG HOW DARE YOU NOT SUPPORT BERNIE SANDERS'S HEALTH CARE BILL YOURE WORSE THAN HE IS REEEEEEEEE

I CAN'T FEEL THE BERN UNDER MY PILES OF CASH YOU COMMIE

ComedicSans is just engaging in his typical, certain to be multi-year, whining.

His preferred candidate lost an election, and that means everyone but his is an idiot. Slightly more mature than the ones who think the world will end, but a lot less entertaining.

His preferred candidate lost an election, and that means everyone but him is an idiot.

Get off your high horse, were all morons down here.

His preferred candidate lost an election

I'm not even American, you fucking mong.

he knows exactly what he is doing

nice meme

We are finally being represented by our first Shitpostian-American president. America is truly the land of opportunity.

Indeed. It is amazing how many here refuse to acknowledge America's first Troll President.

Trolling implies he's pretending to be retarded.

Or dumb enough to troll in the context of a brewing nuclear crisis.

I totally buy that he's dumb enough to do that though.

At what point can we remove "pretending to be" from that statement?

plenty of trolls are retarded. they just have to act moreso

wtf i love trump now..

wtf i hate billy joel now

Elton John.

idk why always get those 2 confused and i actually like billy joels music, i guess i like elton johns music too, but not as much

one's gaye, the other is an wig wearing Englishman

One's gay, the other is Rush Limbaugh's friend.

Elton is infinitely better

In bed

You're not wrong.

And with genetics. Ever see Joel and Supermodel Christina Brinkley's daughter?

Looks like Billy Joel in a dress.

Looks like Billy Joel in a dress.

You had my curiosity but now you have my attention.

Billy and the Jets

You had to be a big shot, didn't you?

Best President Ever.

Jesus, if he was a jacked black guy it would pretty much be idiocracy

You people still do this "DAE Idiocracy was a documentary lolllll" shit?

Only agendaposters and SRDines

80% of r/drama is SRDines and the ones who aren't are banned from there; and there is literally no one here who doesn't agendapost.

Preach nigga preach

a

SRDines hate idiocracy for being classist and eugenicist

For real. Camacho was more competent. Comparison 2/10

At least he hired smart people to take care of things.

why do reddit mongs think saying "DAE" makes them the smartest person around

because nobody thinks that u goon. It's meant to mock people, it's not a long, pretentious word that makes you seem smarter

Ironically it makes you look like a cunt.

haha where do you think you are right now?

A place with lots of cunts?

That was rhetorical.

yes exactly

it's the reddit equivalent of repeating something someone said with a retarded voice

exactly. Pretty much perfect for this sub, our community is a glorified club for high school bullies

no

more like wanna-be bullies

Comacho was only an aspect of Trump, but not the entirety.

I dont care if nukes start flying, this level of shitposting is worth it

Shitposting of this high level is a true gift. America is truly the richest country.

All we get in Canada is PM selfie and his "EVERYONE LOOK HOW WOKE I AM. I LET MY WIFE PEG ME" memes. Sad

I miss hearing about Rob Ford, personally. I don't remember hearing anything quite as crazy about y'all's PM though. Maybe I just haven't been listening.

Ever see the DeadMau5 and Rob Ford driving-around-Toronto interview thing? Hilariously odd!

Yeah Rob Ford was legit. Was popular, barely did shit all, hung out with confirmed gangsters, loved crack. Too bad all the moral fats in the press tried their best to slander his good name. Bunch of Puritans, clearly jealous he got all that sweet crack and crack whore snatch.

I was a fan of his humor (or, the articles about him I guess). He wasn't my politician so I don't really have any opinion of him in that regard, but I remember for a while there, a friend in an IRC channel would be like "Rob Ford did it again" every month or two.

Haha, remember when he bragged on national television about eating his wife's pussy?

http://nationalpost.com/news/rob-ford-launches-legal-action-over-prostitution-and-crack-claims-in-profane-media-scrum

Also that picture of him drinking milk is perfect.

All we get in Canada is PM selfie and his "EVERYONE LOOK HOW WOKE I AM. I LET MY WIFE PEG ME" memes. Sad

It certainly beats Stephen "Botsright Activist" Harper.

is that a computer simulation or a real person

a question our nation has asked itself for years

8/10. I docked a couple points cause "I spoke with President Moon last night. Asked him how Rocket Man is doing. Heard he's burning out his fuse up here alone." would have been perfection.

"Long gas lines forming in North Korea. Too bad!"

As if North Koreans have cars.

no they gas themselves

I think they are even to poor for that.

*too

Gesundheit!

they are to poor for that, too.

If this post get's 100 upvotes I will donate an "o" to North Korea.

they save money using Diesel

did he get hacked?

he hacked into gis own brain when he was a kid and since then doing whatever shit comes in mind

Nah it was an intern. Keep an eye on his twitter, maybe we'll see some porn preferences soon.

The Russians have a video of Ivanka peeing on him, so he's agreed to destroy America.

Should have said "Rocket boy"

"Moon Boy" too for all I care

Underrated post

other discussions (17)

Why is he not a mod here?

he's a mod of a global superpower

*the one and only global superpower

FTFY

You're goddamed right.

f'in oath!

Mind you Russia and China are superdooper powers now which is better...

China could be, but doesn't care enough about militarism. Russia loves the militarism, but lacks the resources.

If Russia should somehow conquer China, we'd be pretty fucked. But I don't see that happening.

Get some free health care and then tell me how great you are.

nice burn lmao. America is shit.

That's what the mole people want you to think.

Not for long, the way he's going.

lol look at this gweilo

No good drama in any of them tbh. They're all just posts to /r/the_dumbfuck clones

To be fair, half of those are reposts on TD, and the other half are just bots that mirror everyone of his tweets to empty anti-Trump subreddits.

i so glad i'm alive to see the president call another world leader rocket boy

That's rocket MAN to you peasant. Off to the gulags with you for your blatant disrespect for the dear leader.

ROCKET MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

ROCKET MAN

AND I THINK IT'S GONNA BE A LONG LONG TIME

A bit stupid thought, but if they're so concerned about Fatso3 retaliating against a disrespectful tweet... why are they posting caricatures of him on the same page?

Yes, they matter much less than the Potus and won't get quoted in the news nearly as much, and the caricatures are both of Trump and Kim - but still.

The people posting caricatures aren't the fucking president.

Yes... I just said that.

even today, there isn't a world leader alive stupid enough to declare war on a tweetbot

i mean, no one would be stupid enough to attack the US over a trump tweet either lol, but at least they'd notice it

If they went on the Twitter page, they'd notice it because it's right at the top - they claim to want to diffuse the tension and publicly condemn Trump for his provocations, and then proceed to add to said provocations right there for all to see.

I didn't say NK would launch a nuke over those pictures, my point was that those "tweetbots" weren't too bright and more motivated by taking Trump down a peg than diffusing the situation which they claim to be after.

Then again, seems like most here agree with that part anyway.

Elton John should sue lololol

Democrats and Republicans can unite on one issue: Trump has a hilarious twitter feed.

yesterday he wished the Air Force a happy birthday by posting a picture of a Navy jet

no fucking way lol

can you imagine if obama or hillary had done that, the rage would never end

Well Trump's heart is in the right place, Obama and Hillary are evil

it's a bad idea on multiple levels but seeing the right pull this shit makes me wish the dems would nominate some insufferable liberal snob in 2020 just to piss them off. like someone who's as much of a dickish, idiotic slob as Michael Moore, but without the faux-solidarity for the working class.

I just want to see Zuckerberg win the Dem nomination.

someone with that much money & likeability anyway

Zuck is too into abasing himself before families of midwestern slobs though, we need someone who openly despises them

Hillary Clinton?

You would have to take the right/far-left's strawman of who Hillary is and make it real, except, this Frankenstein candidate would have to own the cynicism and greed instead of awkwardly pretending to be a friend of the ltitle guy.

This would work greatly. You are already making my blood boil.

Liberals are evil. Their entire ideology is wrong.

zoz

Remember that time Obama hated the military by holding an umbrella or a coffee or some shit?

not really, it all kind of merges together into a blur

a brown blur

What an OBUMMER

Remember when he wore a light jacket instead of a dark one?

I remember he hated the military when he let trannies join..

Hillary is a liberal cunt people should rage just for that.

zoz

At least it was an American plane

wrong.

dude he didn't even delete it

are you saying that is not an F/A-18, or the F/A-18 is not an exclusively Navy plane, or what

I see 1 sec focus in on an f-18 and then I see nothing but trump talking to air force people.

Though I like this slow-burn of drama, I'm sti hoping he's going to say something that gets him banned off of twitter. The reactions will be wonderful.

Just imagine how much more productive he would be.

...wait maybe someone should ban me from reddit

Nah, you'll just find something else to waste your time on.

I hope they never boot him off.

Just sit with me and imagine the outrage. Just close your eyes and picture it.

And then he'll use WEA messages as tweets. STOP

Nations around the world are much more concerned about you than "Rocket Man". #unfit

Wow. Filmmaker ~ Entrepreneur Frederic Lumiere just #owned Dumpf.

Frederic Lumiere

You are destined to work in film with that last name

assuming thats not just a professional moniker (which proved weirdly difficult to figure out by a quick search) hes like two generations down the line from the dudes who literally invented cinema as most people think of it, so yeah, pretty easy to guess the career trajectory there

Eh, the last name is an occupation one (meaning someone who lit candles in a chruch or scriptorium) so it might not even be the same family tree.

it was the name of someone who lit candles in a chruch or scriptorium

That was an entire job? Shit, I'll light candles for a living.

That was before electricity. People also used to manually light and put out streetlights too. Don't think it would pay well, though.

The pay was bad but the work was enlightening.

Lit af

this pun thread is fire

combustion!

I'll light your mom

oh, true. would be a weird coincidence tho

No more than I'm destined to be a king because some King had my last name. Get out of here with your worthless "look how cultured I am I know the lumiere brothers!" Shit.

You're just mad you didn't get to make a cultured reference first.

He's right, it is cringe

Id have thought youd be more destined to be turned into a candellabra and sing songs

No, that would be Mike Menorah or Carl Candellabra

Candlesticks

How do the same retards get multiple anti-Trump tweets featured under Trump's tweets all the time?

By stalking his twitter feed. #rentfree

There was a video that explained it. These losers have alarms set up and posts ready for whenever he tweets -- they respond as early as possible and their stupid comments rise to the top. It works pretty similarly to Reddit top comments.

pretty much the natural result when you make fucking twitter the platform for government 'press releases'

He should just put on automatic tweets at 3 am, which then gets automatically deleted after 30 seconds.

There's a new trick now. Post one tweet with one account. Spam replies to that tweet from another account. People suspect the spamming less.

PWEASE REWINE

Anyone else starting to get post apocalyptic blue balls?

Love or hate trump - he truly takes shitposting to a literally global level

Love

Now that's a good one

You know there are a lot of people who love Trump?

I know, and autism is a serious health crisis that cannot be ignored

Not sure that's autism or just garden-variety dumbassery

Yes.

why not both

Liberals don't consider Republican to be people. So they don't count them.

Sad, really.

So sad 😢

Well it Trump's hate, apparently.

I no longer believe that this is real life

Reality was replaced with satire a few years back because it was deemed better for ratings.

Remember 2012? Nobody said "the end of the world" was a spectacular event. That's just where we diverged.

I wonder how things are in the other timestream.

This sounds like a quote straight out of a Douglas Adams novel.

Rocket Man

Oh my good this is too good.

😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

Well fuck me ridgid, that was fucking funny. Fuck you fat boy, also my is hot.

I was actually worried about NK getting super missiles or whatever, until my buddy pointed out they'd need geo-sync satellites to guide them. NK ain't got that shit, fuck they don't even have Snapchat. Gotta send their nudes through the mail or some shit. Fucking cave cucks.

Problem is. They don't care. They will just launch a few as far as they can and hope they get lucky.

Japan and South Korea won't be so hard to hit though.

I don't see a problem. Weebs and Koreaboos would be wiped out, and then we have an excuse to wipe out rocket boy as well. Net gain.

Eh, they can use inertial guidance like the Nazis had. Nukes don't have to be exactly accurate.

Eh, they can use inertial

guidance like the Nazis had. Nukes don't

have to be exactly accurate.


-english_haiku_bot

You tried

They can use the Russian satellites. Where do you think they're getting all of this sweet tech?

it doesnt even matter, nk getting nukes is just them entering the simulacrum necessary for their survival. the more countries have nukes, the less likely it is any of them will ever be fired (not that there was ever a real risk of it post-ww2). rocket man is smart enough to know what poses he needs to strike to avoid ending up gutted in the street, and he's striking them.

Let's not give rocket bot too much credit, he looks like he needs help to get off a toilet. He's the human version of a turtle. If he falls over he's basically done for.

The President we deserve.

https://youtu.be/DtVBCG6ThDk?t=72

hi

good morning

Top story on CNN this morning was Trump retweeting a gif of him hitting Clinton with a golf ball. And now he does this? Likening a perfect fine communist who did nothing wrong with this guy?

He can't keep getting away with this!

I'm not sure whether I should laugh or cry that he's president.

Worst president ever...do you know who Andrew Jackson is?

The best one

That's William Henry Harrison. Dude was on fire, that's why (((they))) killed him.

That's William Henry

Harrison. Dude was on fire,

That's why (((they))) killed him.

 

                  - ironicshitpostr


I'm a bot made by /u/Eight1911. I detect haiku.

wtf is haiku?

You could tell me this is satire and i would believe you.

TeamRocketBlastingOff!

Why do people still try to argue with him

The best part about Trump tweeting literally anything is the spurge out in the replies by accounts who seem to base their entire existence around vomiting every reason Trump should be "impeached rn pls DX" in his Twitter replies

Yeah, they're like robots programmed to spill tendies at every single thing Trump does.

ww3-the last word in Drama

Oh look, #resist #notmypresident, anti-trump and actors I never heard of rushed in to spill their tendies over Trump doing a thing, it just gets better and better.