Howdy diddily ding dong diddly-ho noodly-neighborinoino! You're playing with hel-diddly-ellfire riddly-right noodly-now, i've gone through your mass historinoy, and i have to say, i diddily ding dong don't like what i'm seeing. I know your type, you're a third-rate atheist and a jesus blasphemeroo. You think you can sit there covering your fingers in meat on fridays and pledging allegiance to your satanic gods as you spew poo at us? There are consequences for your actions, there always diddily ding dong darn-diddly is.
You noodly-needily-doodily to understand something, this stopped being a fun rel-diddly-eligious diddily ding dong discussion with hallelujahs and hail mary's all around, it has stopped being that for years. We live in a christian world, the internet is having a profound-diddly effect on riddly-real-worinold rel-diddly-eligions. It's called heaven diddly warfare, and it is just as vital as physical doodly warfare. It's been around for awhile but the pope riddly-really shifted the whole service. When you post your little paintings of our churches, you are attempting to slanderoo our dandy lord, in essence you are interfering with our prayers.
What is that prayeroo you may ask? To convert the world of little pieces of diddily ding dong dungarooni. Like. You. So i'm going to tel-diddly-ell you what's going to happen riddly-right here, riddly-right noodly-now.
1.You are going to riddly-repent every one of your sins, every single one of them. I diddily ding dong don't want to see a single diddly underoo your noodly-name, every single one of them is an affront to a God-loving head.
2.You are going to baptize your pee-diddly account. You can baptize anotheroo one if you follow the noodly-next commandment.
3.You are noodly-neveroo gonna pray to any false gods everoo again against our lord jesus christ. Judaism, islam, etc. you get the idearino.
This is noodly-not a warning anymorinoe, this is noodly-not a riddly-request, it is a diddly sacrament that you are going to follow to the letteroo. If you, for any riddly-reason, or for any motivation, diddily ding dong do noodly-not follow the bible riddly-right diddily ding dong darn noodly-now, i will make you go to heck. Or riddly-rather, we, we will. You betteroo hope and pray you're using a riddly-rosary, it may hel-diddly-elp stall us long enough to get your pale, heathen, created in his image, body out of the temple to whereveroo fundgearoo witches like yourself go when the jig is up.
You will follow these instructions though, or we will preacharoo to you. I diddily ding dong dare you to sin something to the contrary, i diddily ding dong dare you. I would love to see and hear your prayers and sing as i play a gospel song into your heart. I would love to bless every bone in your body from the feet upwards. Diddily ding dong do you have any priests? Alteroo boys? Virgin mother? Father? Son? Holy spirit? Diddily ding dong don't botheroo answering that, we can find out anyway. How would you like to see their faces riddly-restorinoed on a fresco in front of you? How would you like that boyarooni? I'll paint them on a fudging canvas and make you watcharoo them riddly-raise to heaven on their own virtue.
You get the hymn, you have one sunday to comply with this riddly-request. Diddily ding dong don't get any smart idearoonies.
What the darn-diddily-doodily did you just say about me, you little witcharooney? Iāll have you know I graduated top of my class at Springfield Bible College, and Iāve been involved in numerous secret mission trips in Capital City, and I have over 300 confirmed baptisms. I am trained in the Old Testament and Iām the top converter in the entire church mission group. You are nothing to me but just another heathen. I will cast your sins out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in Heaven, mark my diddily-iddilly words. You think you can get away with saying that blasphemy to me over the Internet? Think again, friendarino. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of evangelists across Springfield and your IP is being traced by God right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggorino. The storm that wipes out the diddily little thing you call your life of sin. Youāre going to Church, kiddily-widdily. Jesus can be anywhere, anytime, and he can turn you to the Gospel in over infinity ways, and thatās just with his bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in preaching to nonbelievers, but I have access to the entire dang- diddily Bible collection of the Springfield Bible College and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your sins away off the face of the continent, you diddily-doo satan-worshipper. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little ācleverā comment was about to bring down upon you from the Heavens, maybe you would have held your darn-diddily-fundgearoo tongue. But you couldnāt, you didnāt, and now youāre clean of all your sins, you widdillo-skiddily neighborino. I will sing hymns of praise all over you and you will drown in the love of Christ. Youāre farn-foodily- flank-fiddily reborn, kiddo-diddily.
If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it's about a monster that absorbs a child into her vagina and keeps it in her uterus for 9 month absorbing its nutriens. Then a man puts his penis in her vagina sucking up all the remains.
Similarly, Hitler retreated across Europe, fixing ruined cities and villages, liberating Jews from camps, and bringing dead soldiers back to life before sending them home to their families.
Santa Claus is a sadistic bastard who sneaks down people's chimneys and steals children's favourite toys.
The Harry Potter movies can be interpreted within a Life of Pi framework, wherein Hagrid kidnaps and holds hostage an eleven year old Harry, who then develops an elaborate fantasy around the abuse as a coping mechanism.
Reporting this sub to /r/againsthatesubreddits and the admins. You guys are done. Think you won? Guess what. Tolerance and progressive values always win in the end, Trumpists. Ever wonder what it was like to be Voldemort getting annihilated right after the Elder wand flew into Harry's hand? You're about to feel it tenfold once you feel the wrath of pissed-off, progressive redditors raging at the fact that Trumpers like you get to walk around even AFTER you've already won. You were supposed to graciously accept your (rigged) election results, give it a rest, and stay in /r/The_Cheeto rather than rub it in our faces that your Orange Hitler won. Now? It's time for you to be put in your places. You've already infected the precious mind of my beloved wife's son, and now you'll pay. Edit: Just updated SRS, Resist, It's Going Down, and many other like-minded comrades on the existence of this cheeto Nazi recruitment forum. Stand down against Nazis? Fuck that noise. I'd turn down the ability to see the next five new episodes of Rick Sanchez fucking shit up in multidimensional hyperspace with his grandson just so I could have the chance to crush deplorables like you. Other progressive redditors reading my outcry for action against the bane of reddit's existence that is this subreddit, consider this: What if I told you that the Republic was now under the control of a Dark Lord of the Sith? I hope those who like the cut of my jib and my call to /r/esist take notice. Now is the time for action. Wubba lubba dub dub, motherfuckers.
41 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2017-09-17
Now with added cancer!
Snapshots:
I am a bot. (Info / Contact)
1 glmox 2017-09-17
Howdy diddily ding dong diddly-ho noodly-neighborinoino! You're playing with hel-diddly-ellfire riddly-right noodly-now, i've gone through your mass historinoy, and i have to say, i diddily ding dong don't like what i'm seeing. I know your type, you're a third-rate atheist and a jesus blasphemeroo. You think you can sit there covering your fingers in meat on fridays and pledging allegiance to your satanic gods as you spew poo at us? There are consequences for your actions, there always diddily ding dong darn-diddly is.
You noodly-needily-doodily to understand something, this stopped being a fun rel-diddly-eligious diddily ding dong discussion with hallelujahs and hail mary's all around, it has stopped being that for years. We live in a christian world, the internet is having a profound-diddly effect on riddly-real-worinold rel-diddly-eligions. It's called heaven diddly warfare, and it is just as vital as physical doodly warfare. It's been around for awhile but the pope riddly-really shifted the whole service. When you post your little paintings of our churches, you are attempting to slanderoo our dandy lord, in essence you are interfering with our prayers.
What is that prayeroo you may ask? To convert the world of little pieces of diddily ding dong dungarooni. Like. You. So i'm going to tel-diddly-ell you what's going to happen riddly-right here, riddly-right noodly-now.
1.You are going to riddly-repent every one of your sins, every single one of them. I diddily ding dong don't want to see a single diddly underoo your noodly-name, every single one of them is an affront to a God-loving head.
2.You are going to baptize your pee-diddly account. You can baptize anotheroo one if you follow the noodly-next commandment.
3.You are noodly-neveroo gonna pray to any false gods everoo again against our lord jesus christ. Judaism, islam, etc. you get the idearino.
This is noodly-not a warning anymorinoe, this is noodly-not a riddly-request, it is a diddly sacrament that you are going to follow to the letteroo. If you, for any riddly-reason, or for any motivation, diddily ding dong do noodly-not follow the bible riddly-right diddily ding dong darn noodly-now, i will make you go to heck. Or riddly-rather, we, we will. You betteroo hope and pray you're using a riddly-rosary, it may hel-diddly-elp stall us long enough to get your pale, heathen, created in his image, body out of the temple to whereveroo fundgearoo witches like yourself go when the jig is up.
You will follow these instructions though, or we will preacharoo to you. I diddily ding dong dare you to sin something to the contrary, i diddily ding dong dare you. I would love to see and hear your prayers and sing as i play a gospel song into your heart. I would love to bless every bone in your body from the feet upwards. Diddily ding dong do you have any priests? Alteroo boys? Virgin mother? Father? Son? Holy spirit? Diddily ding dong don't botheroo answering that, we can find out anyway. How would you like to see their faces riddly-restorinoed on a fresco in front of you? How would you like that boyarooni? I'll paint them on a fudging canvas and make you watcharoo them riddly-raise to heaven on their own virtue.
You get the hymn, you have one sunday to comply with this riddly-request. Diddily ding dong don't get any smart idearoonies.
1 Thot_Crusher 2017-09-17
š·š·š·
1 Chancellor740 2017-09-17
9/10 copy pasta, only problem is Flanders is a Lutheran, not a Catholic.
1 glmox 2017-09-17
/u/ultrashitpost YOU FUCKING IDIOT
1 Ultrashitpost 2017-09-17
It's Flanders' catholic cousin, O'Flanders
1 EvanHarper 2017-09-17
On the Jew-diddly-ews and their liarinos
1 hexane360 2017-09-17
Probably fucking Wisconsin synod too
1 ChipChippersonAMA 2017-09-17
Thank you for this
1 glmox 2017-09-17
i am a merchant of quality pastas only
1 Wowbagger1 2017-09-17
What the darn-diddily-doodily did you just say about me, you little witcharooney? Iāll have you know I graduated top of my class at Springfield Bible College, and Iāve been involved in numerous secret mission trips in Capital City, and I have over 300 confirmed baptisms. I am trained in the Old Testament and Iām the top converter in the entire church mission group. You are nothing to me but just another heathen. I will cast your sins out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in Heaven, mark my diddily-iddilly words. You think you can get away with saying that blasphemy to me over the Internet? Think again, friendarino. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of evangelists across Springfield and your IP is being traced by God right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggorino. The storm that wipes out the diddily little thing you call your life of sin. Youāre going to Church, kiddily-widdily. Jesus can be anywhere, anytime, and he can turn you to the Gospel in over infinity ways, and thatās just with his bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in preaching to nonbelievers, but I have access to the entire dang- diddily Bible collection of the Springfield Bible College and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your sins away off the face of the continent, you diddily-doo satan-worshipper. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little ācleverā comment was about to bring down upon you from the Heavens, maybe you would have held your darn-diddily-fundgearoo tongue. But you couldnāt, you didnāt, and now youāre clean of all your sins, you widdillo-skiddily neighborino. I will sing hymns of praise all over you and you will drown in the love of Christ. Youāre farn-foodily- flank-fiddily reborn, kiddo-diddily.
1 WarSanchez 2017-09-17
Is this that r/conspiracy tard? What was his username?
1 Frank_Tenpenny 2017-09-17
If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it's about a monster that absorbs a child into her vagina and keeps it in her uterus for 9 month absorbing its nutriens. Then a man puts his penis in her vagina sucking up all the remains.
1 Vacation_Flu 2017-09-17
Similarly, Hitler retreated across Europe, fixing ruined cities and villages, liberating Jews from camps, and bringing dead soldiers back to life before sending them home to their families.
Santa Claus is a sadistic bastard who sneaks down people's chimneys and steals children's favourite toys.
1 AnnoysTheGoys 2017-09-17
Was your dad an alcoholic too?
1 backltrack 2017-09-17
That means Hitler also got sober and started healing from sickness.
1 ProphetRith 2017-09-17
Muh fetish
1 MyDramaAlt 2017-09-17
If you watch /r/drama backwards it's about a bunch of autists who develop social skills and become productive members of society.
1 Johnny_Is_Truant 2017-09-17
You assume too much.
1 InOranAsElsewhere 2017-09-17
The Harry Potter movies can be interpreted within a Life of Pi framework, wherein Hagrid kidnaps and holds hostage an eleven year old Harry, who then develops an elaborate fantasy around the abuse as a coping mechanism.
1 TraurigAberWahr 2017-09-17
Just a heads up, OP: If you can't handle me at my spookiest you don't deserve me at my dootiest.
1 InOranAsElsewhere 2017-09-17
This but unironically.
1 SperglockHolmes 2017-09-17
I made you this kit to keep yourself safe.
1 RichEvansSextape 2017-09-17
I fucking told you not to talk about chemtrails
1 NationalDenbt 2017-09-17
Please send me one too daddy
1 leather-muffin 2017-09-17
Looks like he took his own advice. Lead by example and all that
1 I_am_a_haiku_bot 2017-09-17
Looks like he took
his own advice. Lead by example
and all that
-english_haiku_bot
1 leather-muffin 2017-09-17
Good bot.
1 reallynotacop42069 2017-09-17
I think it's after I posted this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Bad_Cop_No_Donut/comments/70he9e/not_all_cops/
1 HodorTheDoorHolder 2017-09-17
Wow that meme was really funny. Have you thought about making a career in may mays?
1 deere442 2017-09-17
lol what is this faggy shit. imagine that you actively contribute to an edgy 16 year old "DAE cops r evul" sub
1 TedBundyAMA 2017-09-17
You get spooky messages & I get 3 accounts banned within 1 week? Can we swap?
1 HodorTheDoorHolder 2017-09-17
Oh shit! That's anonymous!
1 Ultrashitpost 2017-09-17
That's just Stirner
1 backltrack 2017-09-17
Spoopy
1 AddictedReddit 2017-09-17
I got the same message with the same typo a day ago.
1 Psycho_Robot 2017-09-17
You've heard of elf on a shelf, but have you thought of about killing yourself?
1 LoveThisWebSite 2017-09-17
Reporting this sub to /r/againsthatesubreddits and the admins. You guys are done. Think you won? Guess what. Tolerance and progressive values always win in the end, Trumpists. Ever wonder what it was like to be Voldemort getting annihilated right after the Elder wand flew into Harry's hand? You're about to feel it tenfold once you feel the wrath of pissed-off, progressive redditors raging at the fact that Trumpers like you get to walk around even AFTER you've already won. You were supposed to graciously accept your (rigged) election results, give it a rest, and stay in /r/The_Cheeto rather than rub it in our faces that your Orange Hitler won. Now? It's time for you to be put in your places. You've already infected the precious mind of my beloved wife's son, and now you'll pay. Edit: Just updated SRS, Resist, It's Going Down, and many other like-minded comrades on the existence of this cheeto Nazi recruitment forum. Stand down against Nazis? Fuck that noise. I'd turn down the ability to see the next five new episodes of Rick Sanchez fucking shit up in multidimensional hyperspace with his grandson just so I could have the chance to crush deplorables like you. Other progressive redditors reading my outcry for action against the bane of reddit's existence that is this subreddit, consider this: What if I told you that the Republic was now under the control of a Dark Lord of the Sith? I hope those who like the cut of my jib and my call to /r/esist take notice. Now is the time for action. Wubba lubba dub dub, motherfuckers.
1 hexane360 2017-09-17
If say it was me but honestly I never would've come up with the idea of using a different account
1 _narrows 2017-09-17
Tell them I say hi
1 SpotNL 2017-09-17
DELET THIS