Maybe you just need to see this shit happen to have sympathy and empathy, I don't know, but I hope not. If you're ready to throw up your hands and go "OKAY! FINE! FUCK IT THEN! FUCK YOU GUYS!" and give up, instead of having a female friend donate in your stead, then I am kinda forced to wonder if you were only doing it to look good and not actually for people's benefit, yknow?
Sounds like this entitled feminist thinks saying "thanks" is too much hard work.
Yeah I don't get it. Is she fucking complaining that some kind hearted guy went out of his way to get feminine hygiene products and donate it for free? Fucking idiots want to cry about everything.
Ok, I'm sure there are many homeless shelters that would be incredibly grateful for the donations. There's no need to be treated like shit by the people you are helping. These places also get far less funding than domestic violence shelters, and need your donations far more.
I'm a little suspicious of the reasons they gave in that thread for why he was treated badly simply because my mom used to work with shelters often. There were two sort of types, publicly known ones that you could look up the address to, and the secretive hidden shelters for severe cases. The public ones always had police there and a ton of security so there would be zero issue with a guy and his wife showing up to donate. The hidden ones were always close to a police station and had a direct line to the local police.
If OP was able to just roll up to the shelter like he says then he probably got the address from the internet, and it was a publicly known shelter. If it was a hidden shelter he would have had to have been told that's what it was and must be stupid as shit to think it's a good idea to drive up to it. Those hidden shelters just look like a house on a random street so there is no way he accidentally ended up in the right place and even less chance they would have opened the door for a stranger. They definitely would have chewed him out hard for showing up like that rather than be passive aggressive about it.
It all seems like a lot of excuses from people who don't actually know anything about the special hidden shelters to defend someone being a dink.
I'm okay with that since womens shelters are safe receiving nearly 100% of all government funding for that kind of support across the world. Why the fuck would I give money to the privileged? I'd rather put my money to help someone who was in my position and being turned away from support.
So I think it's super awesome that you wanted to help and it stinks that it couldn't work out but those shelters are busy battling the worst of mankind and can't always have faith in the best of mankind. I hope that makes you feel a little better about the reaction you got, because it totally does not reflect on you, it's just the situation.
That's both passive-aggressive and gaslighting. How could it "reflect on" him? Who would think that?
She's feigning sympathy, but really she's normalizing the hostility of the shelter, suggesting that he did something wrong by stating the opposite.
And notice too how she blames the "situation". When a member of the oppressor class does something wrong, you blame the oppressor. When a member of the victim class does something wrong, it's always "the situation".
You see, only oppressors have agency. That's why victims are responsible for their own success, but not their failures.
It just looks to me like those women's shelters put that potential rapist in his place. He should have known they would treat him like that I mean he is a man. Honestly I was starting to shake reading that some man thought he could have free access to women's bodies and spaces through the guise of "donations" and not being able to exert power on them. /$
And notice too how she blames the "situation". When a member of the oppressor class does something wrong, you blame the oppressor. When a member of the victim class does something wrong, it's always "the situation".
You see, only oppressors have agency. That's why victims are responsible for their own success, but never their failures.
In psychology, an attribution bias or attributional bias is a cognitive bias that refers to the systematic errors made when people evaluate or try to find reasons for their own and others' behaviors. People constantly make attributions regarding the cause of their own and others' behaviors; however, attributions do not always accurately reflect reality. Rather than operating as objective perceivers, people are prone to perceptual errors that lead to biased interpretations of their social world.
Attribution biases were first discussed in the 1950s and 60s by psychologists such as Fritz Heider, who studied attribution theory.
Michael Paul Sorrentino (born July 4, 1982), also known as The Situation, is an American television personality. He appeared on the MTV reality show Jersey Shore in all six seasons from December 2009 through its final episode in December 2012.
this is why he was, and why you would also probably be turned away: this isn't about empathy for you, it's about dickwaving how virtuous you are, and if they decline as they're in full right to, you flip the fuck out about it like you're their benevolent saviour and they fucking owe you, which kinda proves their point in saying you're a bit predatory, doesn't it
...being around men can be triggering for women who have just recently escaped abusive situations
Right, just like being around black people can be triggering for whites who have just recently escaped abusive mixed-race relationships, hence the need for all-white shelters. /s
Christ, on the contrary, gender-inclusive shelters could be a powerful therapeutic tool, to help rehabilitate abused women by seeing that not all men are abusive, through co-counselling sessions.
Fortunately, men's shelters manage to avoid any problems of infiltration by abusive women, by not existing.
i don't get it i was a raped by a man and yet i did not avoid men i was not scared of them no i was scared of everything and everyone and was scared they were going to hurt me and beat me, what the hell kind of logic are you using where you defend your actions by saying the women are scared of you where I'm pretty sure a woman screaming at them would get the same result.
For real, these people are literally saying "you have to understand that they just hate men so much that they don't want them around" as if that's a reasonable position.
If your first reaction to being abused by a man is to hate all men, you are exactly what you think every racist is like.
That's not even one of the more creative cons. There are men in this world who will get themselves smacked around somehow (self inflicted? i don't know) put on a wig and call the emergency women's shelter number hoping to get their hands on the woman that had the audacity to run from them.
I wonder if /u/XenusMom actually has any evidence than men do that, or if she just assumes that about any trans victim of domestic violence.
I'm just curious how /u/onzie9 was treated poorly. Did they cuss at him? Call him names? Talk meanly to him? Make fun of his shirt? What did they do to him? Are you ok /u/onzie9?
34 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2017-09-18
Neat.
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1 Munchausen-By-Proxy 2017-09-18
/u/FatSputnik
Sounds like this entitled feminist thinks saying "thanks" is too much hard work.
1 umar4812 2017-09-18
Yeah I don't get it. Is she fucking complaining that some kind hearted guy went out of his way to get feminine hygiene products and donate it for free? Fucking idiots want to cry about everything.
1 headasplodes 2017-09-18
Wew lad
1 Ardvarkeating101 2017-09-18
"I want to help"
"Fuck you, we'll take your stuff but you can go fuck yourself"
1 totalarkwar 2017-09-18
Ok, I'm sure there are many homeless shelters that would be incredibly grateful for the donations. There's no need to be treated like shit by the people you are helping. These places also get far less funding than domestic violence shelters, and need your donations far more.
1 MegaSeedsInYourBum 2017-09-18
I'm a little suspicious of the reasons they gave in that thread for why he was treated badly simply because my mom used to work with shelters often. There were two sort of types, publicly known ones that you could look up the address to, and the secretive hidden shelters for severe cases. The public ones always had police there and a ton of security so there would be zero issue with a guy and his wife showing up to donate. The hidden ones were always close to a police station and had a direct line to the local police.
If OP was able to just roll up to the shelter like he says then he probably got the address from the internet, and it was a publicly known shelter. If it was a hidden shelter he would have had to have been told that's what it was and must be stupid as shit to think it's a good idea to drive up to it. Those hidden shelters just look like a house on a random street so there is no way he accidentally ended up in the right place and even less chance they would have opened the door for a stranger. They definitely would have chewed him out hard for showing up like that rather than be passive aggressive about it.
It all seems like a lot of excuses from people who don't actually know anything about the special hidden shelters to defend someone being a dink.
1 cleverseneca 2017-09-18
He even mentions he was willing to go to a third neutral location, so all those hand wringing arguments about location are beyond stupid.
1 Notthehalf 2017-09-18
I'm okay with that since womens shelters are safe receiving nearly 100% of all government funding for that kind of support across the world. Why the fuck would I give money to the privileged? I'd rather put my money to help someone who was in my position and being turned away from support.
/u/fatsputnik
1 cruelandusual 2017-09-18
That's both passive-aggressive and gaslighting. How could it "reflect on" him? Who would think that?
She's feigning sympathy, but really she's normalizing the hostility of the shelter, suggesting that he did something wrong by stating the opposite.
And notice too how she blames the "situation". When a member of the oppressor class does something wrong, you blame the oppressor. When a member of the victim class does something wrong, it's always "the situation".
You see, only oppressors have agency. That's why victims are responsible for their own success, but not their failures.
1 General_Insomnia 2017-09-18
It just looks to me like those women's shelters put that potential rapist in his place. He should have known they would treat him like that I mean he is a man. Honestly I was starting to shake reading that some man thought he could have free access to women's bodies and spaces through the guise of "donations" and not being able to exert power on them. /$
1 OccasionallyClueless 2017-09-18
This is a classic example of attribution bias.
1 WikiTextBot 2017-09-18
Attribution bias
In psychology, an attribution bias or attributional bias is a cognitive bias that refers to the systematic errors made when people evaluate or try to find reasons for their own and others' behaviors. People constantly make attributions regarding the cause of their own and others' behaviors; however, attributions do not always accurately reflect reality. Rather than operating as objective perceivers, people are prone to perceptual errors that lead to biased interpretations of their social world.
Attribution biases were first discussed in the 1950s and 60s by psychologists such as Fritz Heider, who studied attribution theory.
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1 OniTan 2017-09-18
I think she was blaming it on The Situation.
1 WikiTextBot 2017-09-18
Michael Sorrentino
Michael Paul Sorrentino (born July 4, 1982), also known as The Situation, is an American television personality. He appeared on the MTV reality show Jersey Shore in all six seasons from December 2009 through its final episode in December 2012.
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1 Ed_ButteredToast 2017-09-18
Quality bait lmao.
1 literally__trump 2017-09-18
/r/choosingbeggars
1 umar4812 2017-09-18
Het, Trump.
1 ClickableLinkBot 2017-09-18
r/incels
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1 niggerpenis 2017-09-18
fuck you
1 wellPhuckYouToo 2017-09-18
well, phuck you too
1 niggerpenis 2017-09-18
😑🔫
1 GARBAGE_MACHINE 2017-09-18
And this is coming from the group of people that always claims virtue signaling didn't exist..
1 double-happiness 2017-09-18
Right, just like being around black people can be triggering for whites who have just recently escaped abusive mixed-race relationships, hence the need for all-white shelters. /s
Christ, on the contrary, gender-inclusive shelters could be a powerful therapeutic tool, to help rehabilitate abused women by seeing that not all men are abusive, through co-counselling sessions.
Fortunately, men's shelters manage to avoid any problems of infiltration by abusive women, by not existing.
1 crimsonchibolt 2017-09-18
i don't get it i was a raped by a man and yet i did not avoid men i was not scared of them no i was scared of everything and everyone and was scared they were going to hurt me and beat me, what the hell kind of logic are you using where you defend your actions by saying the women are scared of you where I'm pretty sure a woman screaming at them would get the same result.
1 double-happiness 2017-09-18
Sorry to hear about that; I hope you're doing OK these days.
1 crimsonchibolt 2017-09-18
better as i keep myself near a support group both offline and online.
1 OniTan 2017-09-18
Want to fuck?
1 tisasillyplayce 2017-09-18
Go kill yourself, please.
1 OniTan 2017-09-18
Am dead.
1 xjapxn 2017-09-18
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Nr-3GfuOKI&t=19s
1 SpectroSpecter 2017-09-18
For real, these people are literally saying "you have to understand that they just hate men so much that they don't want them around" as if that's a reasonable position.
If your first reaction to being abused by a man is to hate all men, you are exactly what you think every racist is like.
1 Works_of_memercy 2017-09-18
I wonder if /u/XenusMom actually has any evidence than men do that, or if she just assumes that about any trans victim of domestic violence.
1 OniTan 2017-09-18
Do they even let trannies in?
1 cycophuk 2017-09-18
I'm just curious how /u/onzie9 was treated poorly. Did they cuss at him? Call him names? Talk meanly to him? Make fun of his shirt? What did they do to him? Are you ok /u/onzie9?
1 DivinePrince2 2017-09-18
I don't donate to women's causes unless I see an equal alternative for men's causes. So in the end, I donate nothing.