no, the best jokes are the self aware ones. this is literally a mess of thread where everyone is in their own mini thread circlejerk being overly sarcastic to each other to avoid actually engaging or arguing.
but him actually being from t_d makes it less of a joke and more sad
The biggest reason why male comics are better than most female ones (except for Tina Fey or Kaitlin Olson, for the reason I'm about to elucidate): Men are willing to not only make themselves the butt of jokes, but to outright humiliate themselves in their telling. You can't be a proper comic without making an ass out of yourself.
Think back to the funniest bits of the two female comics I singled out by name, and then tell me I'm wrong.
No they don’t. Take a look at /r/politics every once in a while. They constantly call for the execution of Evangelicals (and conservatives) because they happen to be Republicans.
Look I feel the need to clear the air a bit here; of course this was a joke. No, I don't think all muslims are rapists, that's a bigoted, hateful stereotype.
Pinochet was a cunt, and if right-wingers ever tried to actually enact that shit here, I would start voting for even the staunchest feminazi over them.
I own a fleshlight. They aren't that great. Not having a whole women beneath you really loses something, and I can generally get the job done faster with my hand. If you're the kind of guy who wants to prolong masturbation, I guess that's good. But why, tho?
Calling someone else out for being intolerant doesn't make them intolerant themselves.
No fucking shit. So me calling out Muslims for being intolerant shit smears who want to rid the planet of all other religions lying to their face the entire time (seriously, read the Ko-ran) doesn't make me intolerant.
Jared Kushner initially broke up with Ivanka because she wasn't Jewish, but he couldn't turn bring all that Trump money into the Hebrew fold so he went back to Ivanka and said he would take her back if she converted to Judaism.
You're saying Muslims in general are shit smears who just lie to people's faces? What a sad life you lead, like when you speak to a Muslim you honestly believe everything they say is a lie in order to trick and subvert you? How is that not intolerant?
True, but I see it much more with muslims then others (and in more severe cases). Seeing someone say unironically that islam is a feminist religion is just awful.
It's ridiculous (as progressive christians claiming there's nothing against homosexuality in the bible) but not necessarily a bad thing. Most christians these days turn a blind eye to a lot of things they don't like in the bible, so what? I'm cool with religious and incoherent peaceful people.
Who wants to kill you because you exist? A fraction of Muslims, you on the other hand want them all to die lol, so no you're not, you're a lot worse than a vast majority of Muslims
You realize between 60-80% of Muslims support Sharia law, right?
Something tells me you think ""Moderate"" Muslims exist. They don't. Taqiya, look it up. They will lie right to your face (in fact their phony baloney god commands them to) if it furthers their Jihad against the west.
You said they want you dead, show me that statistic, how many Muslims want all non believers to die. You can't say X% of Christians believe the holy bible is true then conclude that X% of Christians believe adulterers should be stoned lol. All this so you can morally justify your claim that all Muslims should be dead? Pathetic
Shitting all over Christians... there's a surprise. Do you realize the difference between the old and new testament?
Spoiler Alert: You don't
Muslims don't have a peaceful new testament, just what their pedo leader wrote. Quit moving the goalposts shithead. Go to a Muslim majority country and ask them their opinion on ISIS. Spoiler alert: 90% support.
Hahahahaha you can't comprehend a simple comparison? I was using your logic against you and you recoil like a child in defense. Did you not get anything from that example other than "im shitting all over Christians", you are either dense as cement or butt hurt as fuck. Also, you didn't address a thing I said, and never cited me any statistic that showed how many Muslims want to kill you.
16 months is a good amount of time. I don't want to ruin a girl's entire life (costing her some early opportunities for a major crime is not that ruinous all things considered; she deserves, as a human being, to have some attempt at recouping things. Everyone does), but it's enough to keep her out of law enforcement and deter other crazy women from playing this game.
104 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2017-09-19
This is why we need mayocide.
Snapshots:
I am a bot. (Info / Contact)
1 TSwizzlesNipples 2017-09-19
On point as always.
1 Dematrus 2017-09-19
The spiciest jokes always make people flip their shit.
Especially if it makes fun of Islam.
1 Thot_Crusher 2017-09-19
I'm not sure it was even a joke, although it was still funny as fuck
1 wwyzzerdd 2017-09-19
The best kind of joke.
1 lincoln1222 2017-09-19
no, the best jokes are the self aware ones. this is literally a mess of thread where everyone is in their own mini thread circlejerk being overly sarcastic to each other to avoid actually engaging or arguing.
but him actually being from t_d makes it less of a joke and more sad
1 newcomer_ts 2017-09-19
Solid point.
1 DontTrustRedditors 2017-09-19
Agreed. Not sure why it's controversial.
The biggest reason why male comics are better than most female ones (except for Tina Fey or Kaitlin Olson, for the reason I'm about to elucidate): Men are willing to not only make themselves the butt of jokes, but to outright humiliate themselves in their telling. You can't be a proper comic without making an ass out of yourself.
Think back to the funniest bits of the two female comics I singled out by name, and then tell me I'm wrong.
1 lincoln1222 2017-09-19
technically Amy Schumer will outright humiliate herself during her standup (not necessarily on purpose tho)
1 froibo 2017-09-19
OH YEAH REAL SOLID
1 pinochet_was_right 2017-09-19
Come on, bro. Of course I was making a joke, not all muslims rape.
Half of them are chicks and get raped instead.
1 DontTrustRedditors 2017-09-19
Tards: DAE think Catholics fuck kids?
Redit: LOL! SO CLEVER!
Tards: DAE think Islamists fuck kids?
Reddit: WTF! RACIST!
1 glmox 2017-09-19
yeah, definitely. i mean, how else can you explain "muzzies love rape lol" sitting at +600? fuckin double standards man
1 Randydandy69 2017-09-19
Also, since a few years ago, Reddit gets buttmad over Christianity jokes.
1 freet0 2017-09-19
Ugh, this website is so serious now. It's either joyless offendatrons or "haha gas the jews, JK, but no really hail Hitler" altrighters.
1 Randydandy69 2017-09-19
Radical centrism all the way
1 cantbebothered67835 2017-09-19
The particular statement I am quoting, though bare of satire.
1 TheSupremeShadow 2017-09-19
I prefer centrists of the moderate variety.
1 444455555666666 2017-09-19
no fuck centrists too
"yOU'rE bOth THe pROblEM fOR not liking each others political opinions, im offended by your hate for each other" (i got too lazy to caps)
1 DontTrustRedditors 2017-09-19
People grow up, dude. If you're lucky, it'll happen to you.
1 DontTrustRedditors 2017-09-19
Do they? As you get older, you lose track of the subtle shifts here. there are subs I ignore from, like, 8 usernames ago.
1 Yiin 2017-09-19
I blame MayMay June.
1 the_popcorn_pisser 2017-09-19
No they don’t. Take a look at /r/politics every once in a while. They constantly call for the execution of Evangelicals (and conservatives) because they happen to be Republicans.
1 Randydandy69 2017-09-19
🤔🤔🤔
1 the_popcorn_pisser 2017-09-19
Is that reason enough to say “I hope they die” in Reddit’s main political sub?
1 Dyslexter 2017-09-19
Hmmm yes this sounds believable
1 heavenlytoaster 2017-09-19
That's what happens when you let adults believing in magic be accepted as legitimate.
1 DontTrustRedditors 2017-09-19
That's edgelord BS. That goes either way on reddit. You could end up at +2kk, or -500.
Too many kids on this site, tbh.
Not even downvoting you, because it's a valid point.
1 froibo 2017-09-19
Yeah, seriously. Why don't you and your classmates stay in voat.
1 trecht 2017-09-19
Not enough bussy on voat
1 SperglockHolmes 2017-09-19
/u/pinochet_was_right
https://i.imgur.com/FY6QWPH.gif
1 pinochet_was_right 2017-09-19
Look I feel the need to clear the air a bit here; of course this was a joke. No, I don't think all muslims are rapists, that's a bigoted, hateful stereotype.
Just the ones with a penises are.
1 DontTrustRedditors 2017-09-19
Pinochet was a cunt, and if right-wingers ever tried to actually enact that shit here, I would start voting for even the staunchest feminazi over them.
1 UmmahSultan 2017-09-19
You're gonna have so much fun in 2020.
1 Bonzalez 2017-09-19
You're just making it more likely the right wing death squads will track you down.
1 Clark_Savage_Jr 2017-09-19
If there's a military coup, I don't think voting to spite them is going to do anything.
1 Kekistanian9000 2017-09-19
Her body shape is a cylinder.
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/09/19/14/4479CEF700000578-4899120-image-a-26_1505827472789.jpg
1 TSwizzlesNipples 2017-09-19
So a walking, talking fleshlight?! Sign me the fuck up!
1 cakeisgreat 2017-09-19
Don't people usually get fleshlights to avoid the talking?
1 TSwizzlesNipples 2017-09-19
Yeah, but a fleshlight doesn't call me Daddy.
1 DontTrustRedditors 2017-09-19
I own a fleshlight. They aren't that great. Not having a whole women beneath you really loses something, and I can generally get the job done faster with my hand. If you're the kind of guy who wants to prolong masturbation, I guess that's good. But why, tho?
1 Butch_Patterson 2017-09-19
Can only sleep so many hours a day
1 Namenamenamenamena 2017-09-19
I wonder if the cops knew she was making shit up because muzzies don't eat pork.
1 SperglockHolmes 2017-09-19
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVgXGw_XhRQ
1 LedinToke 2017-09-19
nice
1 newcomer_ts 2017-09-19
It wasn't just £10 bill soaked in kebab...
1 menvaren 2017-09-19
Give her a break, she's English.
1 cimarafa 2017-09-19
People criticize the Daily Mail, but only they would print a bathing suit picture so readers could make fun of her.
1 Kekistanian9000 2017-09-19
Daily Mail is basically shitposting atm.
1 hyperion1635 2017-09-19
Their entire business model is based around shitposts
1 Raven0520 2017-09-19
Ok, someone shop Pablo into this picture.
1 Tobans 2017-09-19
T H I C C
1 Kuonji 2017-09-19
That's called the Ke$ha body.
1 IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu 2017-09-19
u/scyth3s
No fucking shit. So me calling out Muslims for being intolerant shit smears who want to rid the planet of all other religions lying to their face the entire time (seriously, read the Ko-ran) doesn't make me intolerant.
Glad you lib fucks finally woke the fuck up
1 glmox 2017-09-19
can you count the number of teeth you have on 2 hands, or just 1?
1 menvaren 2017-09-19
Top or bottom teeth?
1 Bonzalez 2017-09-19
1 alphetasauce 2017-09-19
Do you have strong opinions on Ivanka's Jewish husband? Just curious.
1 smokes_degrass 2017-09-19
just being a jew is fine, it's all about how you jew you your jewery that makes you a globalist kike or not
1 Jukk 2017-09-19
Just-a-jew 👌
Global jew 🙅
1 IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu 2017-09-19
This but non ironically
1 Jukk 2017-09-19
Thia but non-unironically
1 Zozbot 2017-09-19
zoz
1 Zozbot 2017-09-19
zle
1 Zozbot 2017-09-19
zozzle
1 IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu 2017-09-19
It has been foretold u/Jukk
1 Jukk 2017-09-19
I'm humbled
1 IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu 2017-09-19
1 Jukk 2017-09-19
Shit, u right, I messed up
1 IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu 2017-09-19
It's okay famalam, ITIMW goc'hu
1 Jukk 2017-09-19
Based
1 hitlerallyliteral 2017-09-19
how do I tell which sort I am
1 Jukk 2017-09-19
You need to ask one of the resident chosen ones like /u/aliceunknown
1 an_experimenter 2017-09-19
Jared Kushner initially broke up with Ivanka because she wasn't Jewish, but he couldn't turn bring all that Trump money into the Hebrew fold so he went back to Ivanka and said he would take her back if she converted to Judaism.
1 Bosombuddies 2017-09-19
You're saying Muslims in general are shit smears who just lie to people's faces? What a sad life you lead, like when you speak to a Muslim you honestly believe everything they say is a lie in order to trick and subvert you? How is that not intolerant?
1 kuro-no-shinigami 2017-09-19
Yes.
1 Bosombuddies 2017-09-19
Cool
1 grobobobo 2017-09-19
I'd blame muslim ignorance. Stuff moderate muslims say sometimes directly contradicts the statements people who actually study koran give.
1 moudougou 2017-09-19
it's true for any religion
1 grobobobo 2017-09-19
True, but I see it much more with muslims then others (and in more severe cases). Seeing someone say unironically that islam is a feminist religion is just awful.
1 moudougou 2017-09-19
It's ridiculous (as progressive christians claiming there's nothing against homosexuality in the bible) but not necessarily a bad thing. Most christians these days turn a blind eye to a lot of things they don't like in the bible, so what? I'm cool with religious and incoherent peaceful people.
1 heavenlytoaster 2017-09-19
Do you think it's okay to ignore white supremacists too?!?!
1 moudougou 2017-09-19
what
1 orgyofdolphins 2017-09-19
Have you read the Torah? It makes the Qur'an look like Anne of green gables.
Anyways, religious literalism is an invention of Luther. Interpratating religious texts is the older way of doing it, so techno more correct.
1 IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu 2017-09-19
I'm not saying that, that's a fact. The only good Muslim is a MOAB'ed Muslim.
Religion of peace... a piece here, and a piece there.
1 Bosombuddies 2017-09-19
So you're no better than them then lol
1 IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu 2017-09-19
Of course I am, they want to kill me because I exist. I want to kill them because they want to kill me.
1 Bosombuddies 2017-09-19
Who wants to kill you because you exist? A fraction of Muslims, you on the other hand want them all to die lol, so no you're not, you're a lot worse than a vast majority of Muslims
1 IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu 2017-09-19
You realize between 60-80% of Muslims support Sharia law, right?
Something tells me you think ""Moderate"" Muslims exist. They don't. Taqiya, look it up. They will lie right to your face (in fact their phony baloney god commands them to) if it furthers their Jihad against the west.
1 Bosombuddies 2017-09-19
You said they want you dead, show me that statistic, how many Muslims want all non believers to die. You can't say X% of Christians believe the holy bible is true then conclude that X% of Christians believe adulterers should be stoned lol. All this so you can morally justify your claim that all Muslims should be dead? Pathetic
1 IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu 2017-09-19
Shitting all over Christians... there's a surprise. Do you realize the difference between the old and new testament?
Spoiler Alert: You don't
Muslims don't have a peaceful new testament, just what their pedo leader wrote. Quit moving the goalposts shithead. Go to a Muslim majority country and ask them their opinion on ISIS. Spoiler alert: 90% support.
1 Bosombuddies 2017-09-19
Hahahahaha you can't comprehend a simple comparison? I was using your logic against you and you recoil like a child in defense. Did you not get anything from that example other than "im shitting all over Christians", you are either dense as cement or butt hurt as fuck. Also, you didn't address a thing I said, and never cited me any statistic that showed how many Muslims want to kill you.
1 alphetasauce 2017-09-19
Have you ever met a Muslim? You sound right now just like one of those rednecks who have lived their entire life without running into a Muslim.
1 IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu 2017-09-19
Indeed I have, in fact I spent 18 months in one of their backwoods shitberg countries watching them buttfuck boys and then pray to their made up god
1 alphetasauce 2017-09-19
Fair enough, but I guess I should have clarified, I meant American Muslims. Ones who immigrated years ago.
1 IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu 2017-09-19
Wow I'm gonna have to get my telescope out to see the goal posts now that you've moved them again.
1 moudougou 2017-09-19
tbf i'm not a muslim and i want to kill you
1 IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu 2017-09-19
Take a number kiddo
1 moudougou 2017-09-19
15?
1 Nukeusa 2017-09-19
/r/ShitAmericansSay/
1 IvankaTrumpIsMyWaifu 2017-09-19
Don't slip and fall on that edge
1 moudougou 2017-09-19
how old are u?
1 Ultrashitpost 2017-09-19
Not gonna lie, that's a great joke
1 chanilastname 2017-09-19
Only the most privileged idiots think "oh someone was mean to me, better accuse them of rape".
1 fourbet 2017-09-19
lol his username is PINOCHET IS GREAT.
guys a legend.
1 lets-start-a-riot 2017-09-19
More like proving right that Trump supporters are nazis
1 DontTrustRedditors 2017-09-19
16 months is a good amount of time. I don't want to ruin a girl's entire life (costing her some early opportunities for a major crime is not that ruinous all things considered; she deserves, as a human being, to have some attempt at recouping things. Everyone does), but it's enough to keep her out of law enforcement and deter other crazy women from playing this game.
1 charlesgrodinfan 2017-09-19
lol, cue interview:
1 aliceunknown 2017-09-19
Why didn't the kebab want kebab money tho?
1 cycophuk 2017-09-19
Had pig grease on it. It's against his religion to touch it.