Hide yo steaks, the vegan police are on patrol in /r/PoliticalHumor

57  2017-09-29 by JumbledFun

82 comments

I am not sure which is more cringey, the litany of erroneous assumptions you splayed out or the act of calling upon the student archetype with the intent of derision. Anti-intellectualism, check. src

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Cognitive Dissonance.

Saying you love humanity but wish for mayocide.

Are you implying white people have humanity in current year? That's a paddling.

ping me next time, scrub

What if i hate humanity and want mayocide?

No dissonance there!

>whites

>human

hmm

Moral relativism opens a lot of doors. Adhering to your argument means eugenics is okay as well as genocide.

Eating meat is essentially genocide example #105012

wtf i love eugenics now.

Not always loving eugenics

I see you are one of (((them)))

Have you not been to a Brazilian steakhouse? It's basically a genocidal death camp in the eyes of militant vegans.

Well it is. 56 billion animals a year are murdered for meat. But sure, they can’t talk so clearly their lives don’t matter.

But sure, they can’t talk so clearly their lives don’t matter.

more or less, yeah

Same with babies then? Should we slaughter them?

nah, im fine with giving them a couple of years to figure out communication. if theyre retard babies or something then sure, not sure how good the meat would be tho

So you think it's okay to kill retarded people? That's weird dude.

More like that's woke af

I'd be okay with that, actually, yes.

I love how to will go to such extreme lengths to defend eating something that causes as much damage to you as smoking.

Nice try Marlboro man.

theguardian.com/society/2015/oct/26/bacon-ham-sausages-processed-meats-cancer-risk-smoking-says-who

Processed meat sure. But not all cooked meat is processed and there are different levels of processing and different variables to quantify to determine carcinogenic risk.

I mean the China Study indicated that there was at least statistical relevance between eating red meat and cancer. But to say it's on the level of smoking is pretty disingenuous. Even WHO's results don't support that.

lol brah, the guy isn't a vegan for facts; he's in it to try smash puss.

Babies? I can believe it, little shits cry for like 50% of their waking hours.

Weird choice of diet, but I guess all you vegans are like that

You aren't going to try to take my smokes away too, are you?

TIL, Babies are carcinogenic.

Only the 8mo old babies. Never the 10mo old babies.

This is some tasty bait for the "but animals have feelings to" argument.

Yes, please! I'd give anything to not have to see the little shits everywhere I go, infecting the whole world with their snot.

If its not my baby, you be you.

56 billion animals a year are murdered for meat.

You have a reliable source for that number? 153 million/day just seems high.

Lol PETA, the ones that want you to kill your pets and advocate kill shelters

ASPCA or GTFO

How did I know you’d disregard my provided sources..?

Also, only 2 of my 5 links were PETA, try harder to bury your head in the sand next time. :)

More like bury my head in a nice steak he he xd

Thanks, but I was hoping for an unbiased source. All the organizations you cited have a vested interest in making that number seem viable.

I'm not saying I don't believe you, I'm more curious than anything else.

I could believe that number, actually. Consider there are over 300 million people in the US alone, and I'd guess (purely a guess) that most of them eat meat or meat byproducts at least twice a day.

It just seems like a lot. I'm not saying it isn't a real number, I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around the reproductive cycle needed to sustain it.

It's not going to stop me from diving into a hamburger though.

With bacon.

As an American, I have eaten an entire chicken for dinner a few times. That animal's life was to feed me for a single meal. I'm not even fat, so imagine what an extra large American can do.

ANIMALS. DON'T. HAVE. SOULS.

Neither do humans. Those Russians from the post yesterday got it right.

It isn't genocide because if all the chickens were exterminated I would be sad, because that would mean I no longer get to eat the chickens.

So what they're saying is, if I'm ok with eating meat, that means it's morally consistent for me to be ok with raping bitches, too?

Sounds like a win-win to me.

arguing that you need to eat meat for the taste along is like arguing that you need to rape, murder or keep slaves because if feels good. as rape murder and slavery are necessary for you to eat meat.

Hmmmm...

I'm going to whip a cow and demand it change it's name to Betsy.

I love how you’re getting downvoted by all these triggered carnos. Disgusting fucks.

/u/xpbso

lol malnourished vegans lol

Honestly man, if you want to really save animals, you should consider killing yourself so that you stop taking up the resources that we make from them.

You’re an idiot. I hope your children get ripped away from you and slaughtered within 3 weeks of their life so you can see how cows feel. Cunt.

I'll go to a farm, pet some cows, cause honestly they're so fuckin cute.

Then I'll eat the pound of roast beef I mentioned in a another post. Only problem is I have to drive like 45 minutes to pet a cow, but I'll be sure to whisper your name

You deserve to be slaughtered. You’re killing yourself, harmless animals and the planet. Go lick a window dickhead.

https://imgur.com/gEIWvMD

You deserve to be slaughtered.

True, I'm white after all

You’re killing yourself,

if only

harmless animals

If the Simpsons taught me one thing, it's that if a cow had the chance, he would kill me and everyone I loved

and the planet.

Just like how soy farms used to make vegan products destroy ecosystems that used to exist prior to them? Or is this often brushed under the rug in magical vegan land where only vegans have no impact on the world? Is there any time killing an animal is justified to you? What about places where the money putting new soil in to create soy farms would have a more negative impact on the environment than simply raising goats for their milk and meat, even in the longterm? Would it simply be better, in that case, to render it unusable for everyone? Or do we destroy the ecosystem in the name of your holy crusade?

Go lick a window dickhead.

Right away sir.

Obviously vegans have an impact on the environment just by living, and obviously there are situations where killing animals is justified. But as a regular first world person that you are, that environmental impact decreases significantly if you'd replace the animal products you eat with plant-based ones, and for you there's really no justifiable reason to support the unnecessary slaughter of these sentient beings that you just justify with the beliefs you've been indoctrinated into having.

The environmental impact will also decrease if I simply replace soy-fed meat with grass-fed one. It'll also cut out some of the collateral killings. Field voles are sentient too, after all ;)

Can you do the same with tofu? If not, stfu and go slit your wrists. Make the planet a better place.

/u/xpbso is just angry he can only get laid by crusty dyed dread hippy bitches by pretending to give a shit about a burger. Just get a hooker dude, will leave you way less angry about yourself

Well I mean I’ve been in a very happy relationship for 3 years but sure, project yourself onto me. Have fun at r/incels, cuck.

how hairy are her pits? How many species of lice are in Krystal's dreads?

You seem a little angry, bud. Maybe get some counselling? :)

that is extremely ablest of you to automatically assume someone's mental capacity. I am guessing you will espouse some transphobic viewpoints next? Probably get such gross views from your hippy terf of a gf

Like I said, maybe you have daddy issues? Anyways hope you sort it out! :)

That's really gross of you to assume the gender of my parents. Is it so out of the question that someone could possibly have 2 moms as parents? Does this make you automatically look down on that person and assume they are fucked in the head without some proper masculine male role model there to hunt and drink beer with?

Ok, I hope you get your parent issues sorted out, unless you’re Batman :)

I'm enjoying a nice steak lunch, and will be having another steak for dinner.

Nice :)

what the fuck is wrong with daddy issues you prude

You seem a little angry, bud.

Angry? You are the one REEEEing about carnists like an autist.

He's just enjoying the drama like a mayo should

Have fun at r/incels, cuck.

wow, rude

very happy relationship

with your 37 cats tbh

Hey /u/122134water9, you are the reason people don't like vegans. I will eat brisket tonight in your honor.

There's a local fast food chain in my city that is famous for roast beef. I will order a pound before I go into work, just for you /u/122134water9.

Mmmmm, good stuff!!!

Compared to a well planed plant based diet the consumption of any amount of animal flesh is self-harm. Vegan blood is incredibly inhospitable to cancer cells. When all nutrients first come from the ground there is no need to filter them through someone else's body

Hes got to be one of us, no one can be that autistic.

In a post about retards and their inconsistent views, a vegan makes it about the evils of eating meat. I can’t even.

/r/PoliticalHumor was a mistake.

Can we focus on how profoundly unfunny that meme is?

Mean the party that pushes for at-will employment somehow mad that people gets fired for a reason?

Don't try to bait me into seriousposting.

Mean Free speech is only desirable until somebody says something you don't like.

calls pancreatic cancer a " treatable cancer"

Wut? Pancreatic cancer is one of the most deadly cancers in existence.

/u/lennybird

I can't speak for every vegetarian, but I never broach the topic unless I'm forced to at a dinner or something

You realize that you said this after snottily bringing up vegetarianism and how much you hate omnivores on a post that had zero to do with either vegetarianism or food at all? Like we can tell you're lying fam.

You realize that you said this in the middle of a snotty argument

I was only reflecting the "snottiness" exhibited by the original response. I didn't down-vote anyone here either unlike the reverse. Interesting how there exists an entire subreddit for this stuff.

where vegetarians brought up how much they hate omnivores

Where was this?

post that had zero to do with either vegetarianism or food at all, right? Like we can tell you're lying fam.

Hey fam, I think the original user of the thread I was in was just highlighting how cognitive dissonance works. The irony in that everyone nods their head and goes, "Haha, yeah those Trump supporters sure are stupid!" but then when cognitive dissonance is illuminated in something they do, hey, back off, downvotes for you!

Are you going to page that user and note how much of a dick he is or....?

Nah.

Where was this? I don't "hate" omnivores. Clear enough?

Nah. You clearly do. You think we're all murderrapists or something. So it's actually a little more concerning if you don't t b h.

Unless you're just being a melodramatic twat on the internet and you don't actually believe the shit you're saying.

but then when cognitive dissonance is illuminated in something they do, hey, back off, downvotes for you!

Yeah I can't imagine why obnoxious vegetarians spewing sanctimonious garbage in unrelated conversations might go over poorly lmfao. It's totally just because everyone else is a bad person and they're threatened by your ethical perfection, not because you have both the social skills and self-awareness of a moldy twig lmfao

k bud.

p r o j e c t i o n

imagine being so beta you're afraid of eating meat lol

the vegan bloodstream is inhospitable to cancer cells

Dude really? Man I hadn't heard that from anyone but absolute nutsos, I can't wait to see the study.