wtf I love Iran now

112  2017-10-18 by Frank_Tenpenny

135 comments

I don't give a fuck how much you call your flimsy delusions "enlightenment." There is no amount of ceaseless self-deception that will make you accept the charred hellscape of being a miserable useless destitute fucking junkie piece of shit. You know what you are, and it is deeply ugly on every level.

Snapshots:

  1. This Post - archive.org, megalodon.jp*, archive.is

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My daddy is NOT mentally retarded! He has to hugest IQ ever and if you don't think so you're a terrorist!

Tendies and cummies now, daddy?

Bad bot

You: 20/10

Acceptable level: 7/10

Dial that satire down boi.

You cant stop me, libcuck

Is that a shit eating grin?

No that's the cover of Best British Teeth magazine.

That was kinda retarded tbqh

which makes it

SPOT

SPOT

he urged Europe to do more to back the 2015 nuclear deal after the US president refused to re-certify the pact.

i.e. Iran is holding Europe hostage (which is something Iran is good at).

All President Trump did was put the ball in Congress' court. Nothing more, nothing less.

I'm on the fence if this is a bait or seriousposting caused by autism.

he uses punctuation, which on the internet is a Yuuuuuge indicator that someone is being serious. I forget the actual study and i'm on mobile but i'm sure a google search "punctuation and internet seriousness" will show something

But I always use punctuation. Have I been serious posting this whole time?

That's the rule you filthy srsposter

Plz no bully

.

Bad Bot

Hey, that's Middle East foreign policy progress! ~30 years ago they were calling PotUS the Great Satan

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Satan

at least Satan is cool :(

And won't start a nuclear war.

Haha pjeroatives. the french call us pigdogs and we call them frogs for some reason.

The French call us pigdogs? Never heard that before

They can go bend over for Germany again, cheese eating surrender monkeys

They don't.

He said: "I will not spend time to respond to the nonsensical comments by the foul-mouthed president," and referred to Mr Trump and his administration as "mentally retarded".

Well that's just fucking great. Another guaranteed war in the Middle East.

Look at this way - many of the people that will die in said war on our side will be Trump supporters.

And they'll have nobody to blame but themselves for electing the tangerine tyrant.

As long as Im a part of a force that gets to kill millions of brown people first <3

God I'm so proud of the bottom 10% of our graduating class

Thank for you "service"! 😙

Thank for KYS

I also love the country that kills gays atheist and has women as second class citizens.

Is that off the brochure? Because I'm sold.

> kills gays

> kills atheist

> women as second class citizens

U.S. or Iran? 🤔

Iran

Orlando

/r/atheism no longer a default

Gender pay gap

None of it happened in Iran

/r/atheism no longer a default

I literally live in Pakistan and even our government hasn't gone this far. How has your supreme court not struck this down?

what even

Are you developmentally stunted?

Why are you insulting me? I’m a slacktivist arguing on the internet for your right to marry your favorite penis ‘til death do you part.

Speculating that the US is slaughtering gays and atheists is borderline tumblr level retarded is all.

I thought you were woke but I was wrong. Someday you’ll be ready for the truth, comrade.

You're right about gays being slaughtered and womyn as second class citizens

However, atheists are exclusively white men who have become enlightened and euphoric through their own intelligence

White men are given inalienable rights by the Constitution, ipso facto, your second claim is incorrect

When that your so far left even death looks like the patriarchy

atheist

good riddance with those smug pseudo-intellectuals fedora wearing trash.

women as second class citizens.

Just keeping their womyn in check.

Hey you take that back. I don't wear a fedora

A lot of trannies though, the government even funds it, they don't always want to be made trans though. SJW points for that?

Trannies

We call those stealth gays over here

As a gay Christian Iranian from the US, you realize our Vice President is a woman while your president brags about sexually assaulting women, yes?

But I heard gays and Christians aren't allowed in Iran

Tell that to the Christian representation in the Iranian Parliament. How many Muslim politicians do you have in the US?

Muslims are not allowed to run for office in the United States

Yes they are.

US Constitution Article VI Section III:

"No religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States."

We do have one Muslim Congressman, named Keith Ellison. But Muslims comprise <1% of the American population.

>Gay

>Christian

>Defending Iran in a desperate attempt to shit on Trump

No fucking way you're actually Iranian. Join ISIS if you wanna pretend to be a sandnigger for brownie points.

Angry sand people are angry.

Iranians are persian.

persians are sand people. just watch 300.

Some of them are pretty white. And no, I am not talking about the azeris.

White people that live in sand. Get with it.

tbh there more like mountain people

He called them sand people not sand niggers

If you accept Persians as white, you have to accept BPT as black.

Are you advocating this video seriously? Because this is some genuine Achaemenid apologist bullshit.

If anyone fighting at Thermopylae represented freedom it was Persia - the Spartans had slaves, the Persians didn't

Having slaves doesn't mean you can't fight for your freedom, and being nominally against slavery doesn't make a foreign despot seeking to destroy your democracy and place dominion over your culture not something worth fighting against.

Sparta psychotically forced men into the army, Persia recruited a military from across the empire payed for by federal taxes - awfully modern

So Sparta was a small state that conscripted willing citizens in the defence of its lands against foreign invasion, and Persia used the threat of execution to extract taxes from conquered peoples to pay for their imperial military to conquer Greece. This apparently makes Persia the good guys that are most like us because he used the word federal.

Persia was very Western - multicultural, didn't force religion, freed Jews. They improved their dominion with good government.

Every single successful empire in history was multicultural and invested in its economy. If they don't or aren't they collapse.

They freed the Jews because they were the enemy of their enemy, and the religious tolerance wasn't an ethical choice, it was something that the early rulers of the Persian empire did for the benefit of their empire because they knew that doing the opposite had destroyed Babylon. Later rulers abandoned it pretty quickly when rebellions started happening anyway. Egyptians were heavily persecuted for their religion after they didn't take kindly to being conquered for example.

Athens only let adult male landowners vote and killed Socrates for thoughtcrime

He was executed for public heresy - that's not what thoughtcrime is.

But yeah, apparently fighting for your own genuinely revolutionary system of governance isn't commendable unless the results are spotless by the standards of society 2500 later.

Sparta didn't save Athenian democracy, they kicked the crap out of it. They got jealous of Athens and started decades of brutal wars against it.

Yes, Sparta and its countless allies retaliated after Athens turned its voluntary Delian League alliance into an Athenian empire and through force brought almost the entirety of Greece under its rule. This is meant to be inconsistent with the idea that they were fighting for the freedom of the Greek states at Thermopylae? That they did the same thing again?

Sparta teamed up with Persia!

They accepted money and ships from Persia to defeat Athens.

Greece was weakened by the Peloponnesian war which led to some Persian meddling, but I'm not sure what he's suggesting Sparta was meant to have done, just let Athens win? The more sensible conclusion to come to would that maybe Athens shouldn't have turned the entirety of Greece against itself in the first place, not that Sparta was in the wrong trying to stop them.

Good Persian government of Macedonia led to Western civilisation. Alexander copied Persia then Rome copied Alexander, influencing Europe, so Persia was more important to Western civilisation that the Greek city-states.

Can't even begin to comment on how retarded this is tbh, I feel like it should be self-evident enough I don't have to make the effort.

Guy seems like an annoying as fuck dweeb as well.

Ain't noone got time to read all that

Go to SRD to have some boring discussion about history

I think you'll find at least seven people did

Those people should be ashamed of themselves

There's nine of them now :)

How many times have you jerked off to all those men with drawn on six packs wearing leather miniskirts and waving their penis shaped swords around? Is it more or less than 300?

Having slaves doesn't mean you can't fight for your freedom

but it does though

Tapeworms and leeches are different but they are still parasites, m8.

No, Persians are Iranian. It's like British/English.

'Iranian' is a nationality while 'Persian' refers to the culture, language and history to a greater extent.

Yes

England isn't a national state, Iran is. Iran is Persian for "land of the Aryans". Kind of like how Westerners call India 'India' based on the Persian name for the land and people beyond the Indus river. In India it's always been called Bharat. Iran is the modern name for the national state of what the West has traditionally viewed as Persia.

Why do you think Jalal ad-Din Rumi is viewed as Persian despite being born in what is modern day Afghanistan and having lived most of his life in what is modern day Turkey?

Why do you think the Zoroastrian minority in India and Pakistan are called Parsis despite them not having set foot in Iran for centuries?

Hmm, could it be that 'Persian' is used as a wide umbrella term for the larger cultural, historical and linguistic sphere of the peoples who have lived in or near the geographical area that is known as Iran today? Kinda like I wrote in my previous comment... Idk, what do you think you seem very informed on the subject?

All Persians are Iranian, only 60% of Iranians are Persian.

You haven't heard of migration? Tons of Persians who live abroad aren't and have never been Iranians at all. I know plenty of Persians who aren't Iranians.

And don't link to your American imperialist propaganda book as a source ever again. I'll reeeee harder than I've ever reeeed before.

England isn't a national state, Iran is.

I didn't compare England to Iran.

Iran is Persian for "land of the Aryans".

Where 'Aryan' refers to the Iranian peoples, yes.

The modern Persian name of Iran (ایران) derives immediately from 3rd-century Sassanian Middle Persian ērān (Pahlavi spelling: ʼyrʼn), where it initially meant "of the Iranians",[1] but soon also acquired a geographical connotation in the sense of "(lands inhabited by) Iranians".)

Why is this relevant?

Why do you think Jalal ad-Din Rumi is viewed as Persian despite being born in what is modern day Afghanistan and having lived most of his life in what is modern day Turkey?

Because he was Persian, just like Herodotus or Ptolemy were Greek.

Why do you think the Zoroastrian minority in India and Pakistan are called Parsis despite them not having set foot in Iran for centuries?

Because they have Persian origins.

Hmm, could it be that 'Persian' is used as a wide umbrella term for the larger cultural, historical and linguistic sphere of the peoples who have lived in or near the geographical area that is known as Iran today?

No, I don't.

Persians are a specific ethnic group. They speak an Iranic language. They live in the same area (Iran) as other Iranic language speaking groups that together form the Iranian peoples, from which the state of Iran where these peoples live gets its name.

Tons of Persians who live abroad aren't and have never been Iranians at all.

If they're Persian they're Iranian.

There are an estimated 150 to 200 million native speakers of Iranian languages, the six major groups of Persians, Lurs, Kurds, Tajiks, Baloch, and Pashtuns accounting for about 90% of this number.[91] Currently, most of these Iranian peoples live in Iran, Afghanistan, the Caucasus (mainly Ossetia, other parts of Georgia, Dagestan, and Azerbaijan), Iraqi Kurdistan and Kurdish majority populated areas of Turkey, Iran and Syria, Tajikistan, Pakistan and Uzbekistan. There are also Iranian peoples living in Eastern Arabia such as northern Oman and Bahrain.

You know Persians that aren't citizens of Iran, you don't know any that aren't Iranian. That's like saying you know a Sicilian who's not Italian.

do you think you seem very informed on the subject?

I don't pretend to be very informed, just aware of the basic facts and able to read a wikipedia page.

you’re arguing for the same thing how drunk are you people

No we're not, you just don't read good.

sure you are

one's saying Iranian is a superset of Persians

the other's sayin Persians are a subset of Iranians

No, they're saying that Persian is the cultural group and Iran is the nationality. Hence "I know Persians who aren't Iranian."

That's wrong.

there's no such thing as a cultural group

i do know a Persian who isn't Iranian though: Jon Jihad Jafari

there's no such thing as a cultural group

The Iranian peoples, or Iranic peoples, are a diverse Indo-European ethno-linguistic group

So is that semantics or stupid?

both!

Well Persians are the "historically authentic" Iranians, since we're the majority ethnic group in Iran, and Iran was once the Persian Empire. That doesn't mean ethnic minorities with Iranian citizenship don't exist in Iran. :-)

That doesn't mean ethnic minorities with Iranian citizenship don't exist in Iran

Iranian is more than just Iranian citizenship though. Ethnically Iranian is a thing, and it doesn't just mean Persian.

Anthropologically speaking Persians, along with Kurds, Armenians, etc, are "Iranic" people which is an umbrella term for certain Middle Eastern ethnic groups. "Iranian" is a nationality. :-)

Both Iranian and Iranic are used.

Wikipedia's citation:

R.N Frye, "IRAN v. PEOPLE OF IRAN in Encyclopedia Iranica. "In the following discussion of "Iranian peoples," the term "Iranian" may be understood in two ways. It is, first of all, a linguistic classification, intended to designate any society which inherited or adopted, and transmitted, an Iranian language. The set of Iranian-speaking peoples is thus considered a kind of unity, in spite of their distinct lineage identities plus all the factors which may have further differentiated any one group’s sense of self."

The Armenians aren't Iranians. They don't speak an Iranian language and have never been considered part of the Iranian peoples.

Modern Iranian peoples include the Baloch, Gilaks, Kurds, Lurs, Mazanderanis, Ossetians, Pashtuns, Pamiris, Persians, Tajiks, the Talysh, Wakhis and Yaghnobis.

In Armenian sources, the Parthians, Medes and Persians are collectively referred to as Iranians.

Armenia was a part of the Persian Empire, and as someone who's half Armenian, I consider it to be an Iranic group irrespective of any Wikipedia article you link. :-)

Armenia was a part of the Persian Empire

The Persian Empire has nothing to do with what groups are Iranian.

as someone who's half Armenian, I consider it to be an Iranic group irrespective of any Wikipedia article you link

No one cares. Armenians aren't

As an Ivy League student who studies the Middle East... what you think you know has no effect over how I identify myself nor my neighbors in the Middle East.

Either you're a self-hating Armenian whose Soviet colonial mentality causes him to wish he were Russian, or you're just another brainless Westerner trying to educate people about their own parts of the world. Either way, it's nonsense to me, so stop spamming my inbox!

what you think you know has no effect over how I identify myself nor my neighbors in the Middle East.

I'm irrelevant yeah, the hope would more be that the blinding academic consensus would somewhat affect an 'Ivy League student.'

Either you're a self-hating Armenian whose Soviet colonial mentality causes him to wish he were Russian

So this is a political issue for you?

you're just another brainless Westerner trying to educate people about their own parts of the world

This but without the brainless.

I don't like the "trying" part either to be honest. I'm presenting you with all the facts and references you need, it's really just your decision at this point whether you accept reality or not.

We don't need armchair intellectuals from the West educating us... Our part of the world was doing science over a millenium before Europe was.

It's a shame your bravado outweighs your intellect. Goodnight :-)

Our part of the world was doing science over a millenium before Europe was.

And yet we got a thousand times farther in a couple of centuries.

That said, it appears even Iranians know you're full of shit.

Oh look, and Armenians.

Նեոլիթյան դարաշրջանից էնեոլիթին (պղնձաքար) անցման ժամանակաշրջանում (մ.թ.ա. V-IV հազարամյակ) հնդեվրոպական ցեղերի մի մասը տեղաշարժվելով՝ Հայկական լեռնաշխարհից ու Փոքր Ասիայից տարածվել են Եվրոպա, Միջին Ասիա ու Հնդկաստան, մյուս մասը (այդ թվում՝ խեթական, հայկական, հունական և իրանական ցեղերը)

What's that? հայկական, հունական և իրանական ցեղերը? That almost gives the impression that Armenians and Iranians are two distinct groups?? So the English wikipedia page wasn't lying about historical Armenian sources considering themselves separate from Iranians?

Turns out this isn't cultural at all, you just appear to be some sort of moron.

:(

That's sad.

The final thing I don't fully understand is the reason for the delusion.

Mhm ackshually Iranians are 10000% original aryan blood

lol yes leftists, listen to your Ayatollah

shouldn't we be getting along now, since conservatives love Russia? Iran and Russia are buddies.

Since when they love Russia?

Since hicks realized that poor drunk Russian trash is basically the same as our poor drunk hillbilly trash and they can bond over liquor and hating fags

lol yes Trumpsters, protect dear leader

That's a shit title.

[Ayatollah Ali Khamenei] said: "I will not spend time to respond to the nonsensical comments by the foul-mouthed president," and referred to Mr Trump and his administration as "mentally retarded".

It’s sad that this guy is smarter than 62,984,825 people in the U.S.

Thank you for the awesome brain-thoughts, duderino.

Is someone being mean to daddy again 😢😢😢

You are only hurting yourself.

lol

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to become the leader of Iran.

Sorry for your mental retardation.

> umar

I suppose he enjoyed Obama(aka Einstein) ordering airstrikes on hospitals around his area.

Leftists: wtf I love Iran now

"I think we should do what the Islamic Republic wants", said the yuropoor. "Also, I am very smrt", he continued.

God bless Iran

Trump supporters who called Obama a Kenyan Muslim: WTF I can't believe the disrespect for our President on reddit

What exactly is bad about being Muslim or Kenyan?

GOOD point

Did you know Trump is actually a Chinese woman?

Rly makes u think amirite

Well, if he was Kenyan, that would mean he was black...

Where is the drama here? He called Trump a retard? Get him a pussy hat and tell him to stand in line.

dramas in the comments buddy sorry you're used to your safespace

Er...strike a nerve? Trump is a retard, but if having others constantly call him that excites you that much, then you're probably one too. There's better stuff going on.

The year is 2047, and at the age of 100, President Donald J Trump has passed away. Leaders around the world fly to the world’s largest building, The Great Trump Tower in New York City, to pay their respects. The great glass tower, designed by his son Eric Trump was completed on the site of the former United Nations Building, to serve as the headquarters of the third Bank of the United States after President Trump dismantled the Federal Reserve as his final act in office in January 2025.

His son, Barron Trump, now in his early 40’s stands at the podium to greet the many sobbing faces. As 5 Star General of the American Cyber Command, formed by his father as the new branch of the military to face a new millennium, Barron is expected to pick up his father, and his sisters legacy as the third Trump in office at the next election.

“When my father took office, barely 30 years ago, he swore and oath to protect and serve this country. The fake news media of the day, said he had no path to 270 electoral votes and that there was no chance for him to win. If only we had known then, what corruption that the treasonous viper Obama had sown amongst his vile swamp in Washington.”

“Fortunately for America, his movement … to Make America Great Again … could not be stopped. Within the first few months, the traitors were dealt with, and America had to face a grave scenario, a trial of a former American President, Barack Hussein Obama, with a punishment of death for his treason. Although my father hated Obama for what he did to this country, the mental illness we now know as betaphilism was rampant throughout America. He knew he needed a justice, a social justice to heal the nation. Although Obama admitted his guilt, that he had acted seditiously with the aid of a shadow government to distort the election and take down the office of President Trump, my father pardoned the traitor. The country was united as Obama was banished to his birth country of Kenya”

“That was a proud day for my father, but as we all know now, it was just the beginning of our new Great America. Although his first two years were difficult to get his legislation passed, due to a failing congress, the new MAGA party filled congress in the midterm elections, and with both a super majority in the House and the Senate what are now known as the “Great American Decade” had begun.”

“My father released deep state secrets that changed the world forever. Hidden cures for cancer and the secrets of zero-point energy that had been suppressed by the Clinton, Bush and Obama presidencies changed the face of the planet. Healthcare no longer became an issue, as all the diseases and sickness of the world were eradicated. The corrupt religion of Islam collapsed and state sponsored terrorism was eviscerated as the nation’s formerly known as Saudi Arabia, Iran, and the OPEC cartel collapsed as oil became worthless in a new free energy society. “ Barron lifted his golden handkerchief from his pocket to wipe the tears from his face. As he looked upon the visitors at the eulogy before him, he saw many red hats. Those fucking hats.

“I remember,” he chuckled, when I was just 10 or 11 years old, I saw in the early days of my father’s campaign, right there in the audience. This old gentleman, he had to be in his 60’s had this beautiful red hat. I thought my father made them as a joke. What presidential candidate wears a red trucker hat? He screamed at my father, “LOCK HER UP”. I spent that night browsing the web, and quickly realized how we could win this election. I told my father that I couldn’t tour with him, that I had to meme. I shopped that damn hat on a couple frogs, you guys now know him as Pepe, the great symbol of peace. I joined hundreds of thousand other meme warriors to do something that had never been done before. We won an election, took down the corrupt establishment, with the internet. It was hard to describe what that felt like, it was hard to understand what this meant for the world. That a few “Pedes” as we were called, could take down the Clinton Cartel, which was later discovered to the the largest money laundering and child trafficking organization in history, by actually becoming the News.”

“As the swamp was drained, the rest of the world came around. We had a few setbacks… we all know what happened to California when their state went bankrupt and starved itself of food and water, causing it to be split into 5 states as a condition of its federal rescue. But we had so many victories.”

“My father’s stern policies on China caused their country to collapse, resulting in a cultural revolution that lifted the shackles of communist government from their shoulders, freeing them to become the great bastions of freedom and rich triple countries of China, Tibet, and New Taiwan that they are today.” “We also united with our great friends Russia, to build a great space partnership that put both of our nations flags on the moon again within my father’s first term. It is amazing that those early steps of partnership have led to what is now a population of 200,000 on our great New Washington city on the moon. Even the Trump-Putin bridge is one of the most beautiful architectural and engineering achievements ever built at its time as our nations united, with American Steel, to build a beautiful connection across the Bering Straits as part of my father’s Third Infrastructure Bill in the Great American decade.

“If there is one thing my father could do, it was build. So many people thought that he could never build the Great Wall of Trump that has been the cornerstone of our America’s policy for the last three decades. Who would have thought that the wall in its final form would be so vast, that on my twenty second birthday I was able to participate in the Great America bike race upon that wall along this nations southern border. Fortunately, the famed Great Ivankan Wall” along our Northern boarded with Canada did not have to be built. Although Canada was collapsing due to failed immigration policies and terrible leadership, my sister completed our Manifest Destiny, and America had to annex Canada into the fold. With the 5 new states formed from the former California, as well as Cuba and Puerto Rico, Canada made a welcome addition to these United States.”

“Although my father accomplished many great things, I think it was his partnership with his first Secretary of Space, Elon Musk, that truly inspired the world. When he cleaned the swamp and NASA and gave the rains of NASA to the Elon, who generously gifted his company Space X to America, a generation of Centipedes watched as the foundations laid by my father, in choosing to partner with the brightest business and industrial minds in our country came to fruition. For the first time, American men, and women put their first steps on Mars in 2026, the 250th Anniversary of this great nation. Although Ivanka was President, it was the dream and his first speech to congress in 2017 that started it all.”

“When it was time for my father to step down, America was tired of winning. He had warned us, all of us. He would keep pushing and pushing to win and win until we just couldn’t take any winning any more. People told him, President Trump, you don’t need to accomplish everything! You have done so much! Cancer cured, energy solves, peace in the middle east, the strongest economy, America is Great Again! He told them all, each and every one of us, no… you will Keep Winning, and together, we make this country greater than ever before.” Now I know you have all heard this story before, but I must retell it, because it was what earned my father his spot-on Mt Rushmore, and our family name on the thousands of schools, parks, roads, and museums across this country. His Great Act will be down in the annals of history forever, and it must be repeated.” Chief Justice Ted Cruz, Speaker of the House Jason Chaffetz, Senate Majority Leader Tom Cotton, and the Governors of all the states in the union held a surprise ceremony in Congress at his final state of the Union. They had taken one of the fucking Red MAGA hats, and gilded it in Gold. Chief Justice Cruz walked forward amongst his speech and quieted the audience.”

“President Trump,” Cruz shouted, “We the people, of these United States, have taken so much from you. You sacrificed your wealth, your freedom, and your family, to put everything on the line to face the gauntlet and corrupt country which we use to be. The weak, tired, losing America. You gave up everything, for us!” The Chief Justice Fell to his knees. “You, Donald John Trump, have truly Made America Great Again, Big League. We ask upon you, for once, to take something back for yourself. We offer you this, the MAGA Crown, to lead this Great America, for Life.” My father knew, that only George Washington had been given this opportunity. He knew that he could continue to make this country greater, even greater still, but my father said the worlds that will never be forgotten.”

“My people, my Americans. I, your humble servant, will fight for you until my dying breath. Together, Americanism, not Globalism, has been our Credo. We have Made America Great again but this torch must be passed to the next great one among you. I hope my courage, and my furious Patriotism, have inspired a generation of Great Americans, to push this country to heights beyond my wildest dreams.”

Barron softly wept, as gazed across the American Flag, with each of its 75 beautiful white stars, was laid over his father’s coffin. “I leave you, my family, my people, my pedes, my American’s, my Lunars, my Martians, to remember, that in America, no matter how hard it is, or how great we have become, this is the country that a 10-year-old boy, can change the course of history, with a few frog meme’s and a twitter account.” This is truly the best timeline.

Lol. Some absurd D_T copypasta? Well played, Trump is a retard and so are many, many of his supporters. Equally retarded? Your comment history. You are the most prolific anti-trump poster in reddit history, posting every minute of every day about how stupid Trump supporters are. Way to spend your life, well played.

When people told me they hated Hillary Clinton or (far worse) that they were "not fans," I wish I had said in no uncertain terms: "I love Hillary Clinton. I am in awe of her. I am set free by her. She will be the finest world leader our galaxy has ever seen."

I wish, in those exchanges, I had not asked gentle, tolerant questions about a hater's ridiculous allergy to her, or Clinton's fictional misdeeds and imagined character flaws. More deeply still, I wish I had not reasoned with anyone, patiently countered their ludicrous emotionalism and psychologically disturbed theories. I wish I had said, flatly, "I love her." As if I had been asked about my mother or daughter. No defensiveness or polemics; not dignifying the crazy allegations with so much as a Snopes link.

Maybe "I love her" seemed too womany, too sentimental, too un-pragmatic. Not coalition-building, kind of culty. But people say with impunity they love Obama, the state of Israel, their churches, Kurt Cobain. In the end, I wish I'd said it because it's true.

And I'm not alone in my commitment. Millions of Clinton's supporters — we were thanked by Clinton as the "secret, private Facebook sites" — expressed it among themselves, all the time, in raptures or happy tears with each new display of our heroine's ferocious intelligence, depth, and courage. We were frankly bewildered by the idea that anyone would hedge their commitment to her ("You don't have to be her friend"; "Yes, she's made mistakes"; "lesser of two evils"). We didn't remember anyone turning to this stock ambivalence when discussing Obama, Babe Ruth, FDR. If only one reporter — they knew about us — could have published a headline like "Clinton Inspires Historic Levels of Adoration From Her Supporters" about the people who have had their lives transformed by the power of her brilliant campaign, unrivaled effectiveness, and extraordinary career. Just one headline like that, like the ones Bill Clinton got.

Usually a legend is made by men and media — the legend of Kennedy, say, or Jim Morrison — and then, much later, a biopic, pretending to evenhandedness, reveals the legend's shortcomings, his "human" side. The shortcomings are almost always something exactly no one actually believes compromises his heroism. His problem drinking. His mistreatment of women. Well, takedowns of Hillary were always already written. She has somehow made the time to hear out each dead-end line of reasoning about her fake mortal sins, and often she has also thanked everyone for sparing her further moral lashings, as if that were a kindness. Under cover of "humanizing" the intimidating valedictorian, reports and investigations and media clichés vilified her. But the feminist hero never got to be a legend first. And yet she is one, easily surpassing Ben Franklin, Henry Ford, Steve Jobs.

I want to reverse the usual schedule of things, then. We don't have to wait until she dies to act. Hillary Clinton's name belongs on ships, and airports, and tattoos. She deserves straight-up hagiographies and a sold-out Broadway show called RODHAM. Yes, this cultural canonization is going to come after the chronic, constant, nonstop "On the other hand" sexist hedging around her legacy. But such is the courage of Hillary Clinton and her supporters; we reverse patriarchal orders. Maybe she is more than a president. Maybe she is an idea, a world-historical heroine, light itself. The presidency is too small for her. She belongs to a much more elite class of Americans, the more-than-presidents. Neil Armstrong, Martin Luther King Jr., Alexander Fucking Hamilton.

Hillary Clinton did everything right in this campaign, and she won more votes than her opponent did. She won. She cannot be faulted, criticized, or analyzed for even one more second. Instead, she will be decorated as an epochal heroine far too extraordinary to be contained by the mere White House. Let that revolting president-elect be Millard Fillmore or Herbert Hoover or whatever. Hillary is Athena.

Ugh. You win.

I can only confidently guarantee that the prostitute you end up making tender love to (lol) will shower longer than she usually does after your 5 shameful minutes of disappointing her

Ha. As if you know anything about prostitutes. They're never disappointed billing for an hour but only working for 5 minutes.

You're oversimplifying a complex situation to the point of adding nothing to the discussion

Stop browbeating me already. You're just too and sophisticated for me. Must be a Rick and Morty fan. You win this internet fight this time. Allow me to quit my job, move back home, and create 3 more Reddit accounts. I'll be back with a vengeance.

my brand of humor is spamming walls of memetext

quench your thirst with some chlorox

It's v high brow, it's understandable if it goes over ur head

TO

BE

FAIR

Senate Majority Leader Tom Cotton

Wew lad.

On one hand using the term mentally retarded is really ableist and he's prime minister of a country that kills gay people, but he said Trump is retarded so all is forgiven.

Remember when people would go on and on about how Obama was the most disrespected president in history and it's all thanks to racism and how could anyone disrespect the president like that my gosh my gosh my goooooshhhhh. Now anyone that doesn't disrespect the president is a nazi. Shit changes fast.

America 2017, where spoiled children of former "freedom nation" have no problem cheering dictator Kim Jung Un or Supreme Leader Ali "lets annilitate Israel" Khamenei.

ooooooweee