You probably don't get bussy because you're the type of guy who fucking nails his dick to a board

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/u/cowmemer here in the land of the free, we have this thing called water. And it's not like that brown stuff you step in on your dirt roads. We use it to drink and to clean ourselves and our possessions.

We also have this thing called a washing machine, which we use to remove dirt and other stains from our clothes. And even those who don't have a washing machine can still wash their clothes using water and soap.

Amazing!

Perhaps he's from a land where a combination of goat shit and sandals mean only the richest of princes can afford to wear "socks". And why such men would deposit their load into these treasures as opposed to the mouths of concubines is a mystery to him.

Concubines > socks

Not according to the Quran.

1 sock = 4 concubines (hadith 35)

In /u/crowmemer's home country you cum in a donkey like a normal person.

I think you are confusing me with the other dude, it's he who argue about saving water with his old socks.

On this list unlike the US btw.

Just me and my 💕daddy💕, hanging out I got pretty hungry🍆 so I started to pout 😞 He asked if I was down ⬇for something yummy 😍🍆 and I asked what and he said he'd give me his 💦cummies!💦 Yeah! Yeah!💕💦 I drink them!💦 I slurp them!💦 I swallow them whole💦 😍 It makes 💘daddy💘 😊happy😊 so it's my only goal... 💕💦😫Harder daddy! Harder daddy! 😫💦💕 1 cummy💦, 2 cummy💦💦, 3 cummy💦💦💦, 4💦💦💦💦 I'm 💘daddy's💘 👑princess 👑but I'm also a whore! 💟 He makes me feel squishy💗!He makes me feel good💜! 💘💘💘He makes me feel everything a little should!~ 💘💘💘 👑💦💘Wa-What!💘💦👑 IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!😭👋 ██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... ███████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... ███████████] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Daddies are irreplaceable 💖I could never delete you Daddy!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Daddies👪 who give you 💦cummies💦 Or never get called ☁️squishy☁️ again❌❌😬😬❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 🚫🚫👿 3 back: you're squishy☁️💦 5 back: you're daddy's kitten😽👼💦 💞Daddy💞 be nimble🚶🏻 Daddy be quick🏃🏻💨 Daddy has a rock🗿 hard dick 🍆😍! 1⃣cummy💦 2⃣cummy💦💦 3⃣cummy💦💦💦 4⃣💦💦💦💦! Daddy cums💦 so much he can't cum any more🙈🙉🙊! Ghost cummy👻💦 Ghost cummy👻💦 don't be scared❌😖❌! There's always more cummies💦👅 that can be shared👬! Daddy makes me ☁squishy☁ Daddy makes me 💧wet💧Daddy treats me like his little pet🐈🐩🐕! Send this to 69 💯TRUE💯 Daddy's or else you'll 🚫never🚫 get any cummies💦💦💦 again 😦😳😎 Woah💦 Woah💦 Woah💦 Hold on💦 Stick em UP🙆🙆🙆🙆 THAT'S RIGHT🔫 THIS IS A ROBBERY🔫 Hand over the CUMMIES🔫💦💦 and no DADDY😫👨😨 gets hurt 📨Send this to your naughtiest👄 little 👄partners in crime 😏🔫😏🔫 and you'll get 💰💰💰SACKS💰💰💰 OF CUMMIES🍆💦💦💦 Get 5🔳 back, you're a 💓squishy💓 little rebel without a cause💋💋💋💋💋 Get 10🔳 back, you're a 😎😎😎career cummie💦 criminal 🙆🔫🔫 bustin all the daddies👨🌽🍆 banks💰💴 Get 15🔳 back, you're a little 😼😼FAT CAT😻😻 with mad stacks💰💦 of CUMMIES💰💦 Get 20🔳 back, you're the 👑👑CUMMIE 💦💦💦 QUEEN👑👑 DICKCEMBER😫🍆☃ is cumming up santa's little hoes🎅🏼🎅🏼 you have ONE MONTH to find a daddy😍😋💦 👅 that will sure fill your stocking with his creamy eggnog😉🍆 so find those pair of jingle bells that you wanna rock around the christmas tree all night long🎄ride your daddy's reindeer all night like 🎅🏼 does with his sleigh ya slutty elf😫😉 so this DICKCEMBER be sure to suck on daddy's candy cane all day every day😋👅💦 💦💦Fuck me hard ❤️daddy💘❤️💦💦💯👌👈 I want your 😜😜gigantic cock🍆🍆 in my 🌟✨princess hole,👌👌👌💖 and I want you to 💥💥slam it in and out😍😍, fuck me good,💦💦💯💦🔥 I want you to 💗🌟hold me down😇😇 and fuck me👅💦👋🍑 until I can't take it anymore, 🔥🔥then keep going 💖daddy💖😊😊. By the time you're done,💦👌👈👈 I want your cock🍆🍆 to be 🔥🔥raw and throbbing💦💦👅, and all my holes filled😊😊😊

Is this part of an amendment?

2nd.

14th. Substantive due process.

> 2017

> not even having a cumbox

Does no one else just finish on the nearest cat?

Target practice, that takes dedication. It takes many loads to perfect that technique.

Gotta be well hydrated too

Who uses a sock when they can use OP's mom?

I only cum in black socks

gross

What's the point in being fat if you're just gonna have small breasts anyway?

It's a lose/lose.

This is an aside story but I once knew a woman who was absolutely massive. As in she had to be pushing 400 but still had absolute mosquito bite boobs. Somehow, they were still almost entirely flat while the rest of her was just massive.

What am I looking at and why?

Do people actually jack off onto their socks? I always assumed that was just a retarded meme.

Someone with a dick: is it really that pleasurable to cum in a sock?

It's just less messy.

But doesn't the lint get into the foreskin? And why not just use a rubber? 🤔

No foreskin on God's chosen people. 😉 Condoms aren't free, and they make your dick and hand smell like latex for hours.

Yeah but like 98% of the world's population are dumb fucking goys. So I'll just assume a dude has their foreskin.

What about a Fleshlight?

Aren't fleshlights expensive? Sex toys for dudes seem creepy, too.

Tbh it's on the same creepiness level as socks are to me. But, they feel a million times better.

Of course you would say that about socks, you own a fucking synthetic vagina you freak.

I'm on r/Drama, of course I'm a freak.

Yeah no you're legit retarded

Correct

Most non-jews are circumcised as well (just like God intended it to be).

well, it's Muslims and Americans mostly. Rest of the world, hardly.

The rest of the world doesn’t really count, so whatevs.

yuck

What about a Fleshlight?

You would have to clean it out afterwards too, no? Otherwise the semen is just going to stay inside there.

Why not just cum into a garbage can or something? Doesn't the cloth of the sock feel harsher against the skin than a tissue would? I've heard that the penis is really sensitive after ejaculation, so wouldn't that amplify that and cause discomfort?

Socks really aren't that scratchy, nor do they have lint falling off all the time.

a thin, sheer dress sock isn't very scratchy

It would feel rougher on your penis than, say, a tissue though, right?

Yeah, but tissue sticks to your dick and then you gotta peel it off in flakes. 😡

Well, you don't have to ejaculate into the tissue, right? I mean, don't hold it to your urethral opening while cumming, just make sure that most of the semen falls into the tissue, then after you're done, squeeze out what you can and then wipe off the remaining residual semen from your urethral opening. That way, it won't get stuck to your penis, right?

It doesn't always just fall down: sometimes it bursts forth in a powerful jet of semen. When that happens, you better already have a barrier in place or else you just painted the wall with baby batter.

Yeah, that's what I mean, even if it's a jet, you just aim it into the tissue.

You may have a misperception about the accuracy with which a dick can be aimed, especially a dick being actively jacked.

(Or who knows, maybe everyone else is like a FBI sniper that can skeet on mosquito at 40 years)

You don't need to be a dick sniper, won't it work if you hold the tissue an inch or two away?

I guess it's possible. It would require a fair bit of focus and concentration to hold the tissue steady in one hand and jack off with the other, while keeping the dick and the tissue aligned with each other. Like if you put a gun to my head, I could maybe do it, but it would make for a very distracting masturbatory experience.

As an experiment, you should try getting yourself off with one hand while holding a full glass of water with the other, and don't spill any.

It would require a fair bit of focus and concentration to hold the tissue steady in one hand and jack off with the other, while keeping the dick and the tissue aligned with each other.

Your average tissue is around 45 square inches (around 290.3 squared centimeters), you don't really need to struggle to "align" it, just keep it mostly open. I'm pretty sure most people don't use two hands to masturbate anyway.

As an experiment, you should try getting yourself off with one hand while holding a full glass of water with the other, and don't spill any.

You don't need to hold the tissue there the whole time, you just need to bring the tissue close when you're about to ejaculate.

If the tissue is too open / not balled up, you risk shooting through it, or having it move out of the way.

I'll consider your strategy, but I'm sceptical.

Then why not just cum into a jar, or your flowerpots or something. Or if you want to be really environmental friendly cum in your hand and just wash it of/rub it on yourself/eat it depending on how environmental friendly you want to be.

/u/crowmemer for mod

Elon musk eats his cum, I'm just following orders.

Musk has to recycle. It's good for the environment.

Plus, he can't risk Jeff Bezos getting ahold of his special essence.

As if. Bezos is ace.

I know you're memeing but I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he actually did. Just fucking recycle that with some Fanta.

Ehm... Thanks.

I don't understand people who need tissues or socks or whatever. I just cum all over myself and let it soak into my skin or I just eat it.

My cum's great and I like it when it marks my clothing

...

/u/crowmemer

It's a euphemism, we consider our american women "socks" as in a suboptimal place to put our cum when bussy isn't available. Unlike europoors or even worse, everyone else, we actually have that much access to sweet places to spooge up that we consider mere pussy to be "socks".

Obligatory.

wait, hold up. i was under the impression that when people say they "cum in a sock" i thought they just meant using a sock as a cloth to catch the cum, not actually sticking their dick in there like a fucking weirdo.

/u/twinkletoes232, you seem to have some experience in this field, have i really been misunderstanding this concept my entire life? do i have to add another bullet point to my "reasons all americans need to be slaughtered" list? it's already so long

I've done both. I'll only go deep if it's a thin, silky dress sock.

hmmm

I used to do both, the sock sleeve is actually pretty nice. Don't knock it before you've tried it

This is why Islam should win