Reddit.com just got a lot gayer - you can now "chat" with each other. To chat with your favorite dog fucker, pedophile, or Nazi, go to their user page and click "+Chat" underneath the Send Private Message link.

189  2017-11-07 by DeepDickedHillybilly

114 comments

Jews did this

Snapshots:

  1. This Post - archive.org, megalodon.jp*, archive.is

I am a bot. (Info / Contact)

(((Spez)))

Just cuz Armenians have long noses doesn't mean they're Jews.

Who are you? Ew! Get away from me!

Don't type /u/ in front of it you stupid fucking retarded piece of cowshit

It doesn't work without it you slut

LISTEN HERE YOU DERANGED SISTER FUCKER!!! IT DOESN'T WORK ON MY APP AT THE MOMENT! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL YOU NEANDERTHAL!

Sounds like you are just a run-of-the-mill retard

Why are you so mean to me! 😭😭😭

They actually bother to get rhinoplasty too.

This is turning into some kind of Facebook shit.

This is new, right? I can't find anyone talking about this.

I think it's just being rolled out, I don't see it so I don't think everyone has the feature yet.

You just might be deemed to stupid to be allowed to use Reddit chat

It should be noted that I've upvoted every single person who's disagreed with me here, as far as I know.

That said.

In 7th grade, I took an SAT test without preparing for it at all, it was spur-of-the-moment, I knew about it about an hour ahead of time and didn't do any research or anything. I scored higher on it than the average person using it to apply for college in my area.

An IQ test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and they'd consider it to be within the margin of error for that test.

My mother's boyfriend of 8 years is an aerospace engineer who graduated Virginia Tech. At the age of 15, I understand physics better than him, and I owe very little of it to him, as he would rarely give me a decent explanation of anything, just tell me that my ideas were wrong and become aggravated with me for not quite understanding thermodynamics. He's not particularly successful as an engineer, but I've met lots of other engineers who aren't as good as me at physics, so I'm guessing that's not just a result of him being bad at it.

I'm also pretty good at engineering. I don't have a degree, and other than physics I don't have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented regenerative brakes before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing wireless electricity solutions (my first idea being to use a powerful infrared laser to transmit energy; admittedly not the best plan).

I have independently thought of basically every branch of philosophy I've come across. Every question of existentialism which I've seen discussed in SMBC or xkcd or Reddit or anywhere else, the thoughts haven't been new to me. Philosophy has pretty much gotten trivial for me; I've considered taking a philosophy course just to see how easy it is.

Psychology, I actually understand better than people with degrees. Unlike engineering, there's no aspect of psychology which I don't have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Sigmund Freud's theories.

I'm a good enough writer that I'm writing a book and so far everybody who's read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have published. And that's not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. I've heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it.

I don't know if that will suffice as evidence that I'm intelligent. I'm done with it, though, because I'd rather defend my maturity, since it's what you've spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my morals and ethical code.

I believe firmly that everybody deserves a future. If we were to capture Hitler at the end of WWII, I would be against executing him. In fact, if we had any way of rehabilitating him and knowing that he wasn't just faking it, I'd even support the concept of letting him go free. This is essentially because I think that whoever you are in the present is a separate entity from who you were in the past and who you are in the future, and while your present self should take responsibility for your past self's actions, it shouldn't be punished for them simply for the sake of punishment, especially if the present self regrets the actions of the past self and feels genuine guilt about them.

I don't believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices aren't harming others. I don't have any issue with any type of sexuality whatsoever (short of physically acting out necrophilia, pedophilia, or other acts which have a harmful affect on others - but I don't care what a person's fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I don't have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know that's not really an impressive moral, but it's unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental about these things.

I love everyone, even people I hate. I wish my worst enemies good fortune and happiness. Rick Perry is a vile, piece of shit human being, deserving of zero respect, but I wish for him to change for the better and live the best life possible. I wish this for everyone.

I'm pretty much a pacifist. I've taken a broken nose without fighting back or seeking retribution, because the guy stopped punching after that. The only time I'll fight back is if 1) the person attacking me shows no signs of stopping and 2) if I don't attack, I'll come out worse than the other person will if I do. In other words, if fighting someone is going to end up being more harmful to them than just letting them go will be to me, I don't fight back. I've therefore never had a reason to fight back against anyone in anything serious, because my ability to take pain has so far made it so that I'm never in a situation where I'll be worse off after a fight. If I'm not going to get any hospitalizing injuries, I really don't care.

The only exception is if someone is going after my life. Even then, I'll do the minimum amount of harm to them that I possibly can in protecting myself. If someone points a gun at me and I can get out of it without harming them, I'd prefer to do that over killing them.

I consider myself a feminist. I don't believe in enforced or uniform gender roles; they may happen naturally, but they should never be coerced into happening unnaturally. As in, the societal pressure for gender roles should really go, even if it'll turn out that the majority of relationships continue operating the same way of their own accord. I treat women with the same outlook I treat men, and never participate in the old Reddit "women are crazy" circlejerk, because there are multiple women out there and each have different personalities just like there are multiple men out there and each with different personalities. I don't think you do much of anything except scare off the awesome women out there by going on and on about the ones who aren't awesome.

That doesn't mean I look for places to victimize women, I just don't believe it's fair to make generalizations such as the one about women acting like everything's OK when it's really not (and that's a particularly harsh example, because all humans do that).

I'm kind of tired of citing these examples and I'm guessing you're getting tired of reading them, if you've even made it this far. In closing, the people who know me in real life all respect me, as do a great many people in the Reddit brony community, where I spend most of my time and where I'm pretty known for being helpful around the community. A lot of people in my segment of the community are depressed or going through hard times, and I spend a lot of time giving advice and support to people there. Yesterday someone quoted a case of me doing this in a post asking everyone what their favorite motivational/inspirational quote was, and that comment was second to the top, so I guess other people agreed (though, granted, it was a pretty low-traffic post, only about a dozen competing comments).

And, uh, I'm a pretty good moderator.

All that, and I think your behavior in this thread was totally assholish. So what do you think, now that you at least slightly know me?

not an argument.

Well memed!

Is this supposed to be funny? All I see is someone who is posting just for the sake of posting, or perhaps pleading for undeserved karma.

You're now one of 3 people I've blocked on Reddit. I don't even mind people sperging out at me, but what I do mind is just the complete lack of real arguments. You're just boring.

Does anyone here know the source of this one?

It was actually stolen from me by one of our very own.

That's a darqwolff original. He's an /r/drama mod now though he kind of ruins the fun with his new found glimmers of self awareness.

Needs more Rick and Morty. Unless you aren't smart enough for that.

Fuck off newfriend.

That pasta predates Rich and Marty by several years. This comes from the before time when Ponies ruled the land.

Newfriends don't even know bout ma darqwolf

Invite me.

No

That's okay. I respect your decision. Keep yourself safe.

That's retarded.

invite me

I have has this for a week now.

What I don’t have it can you invite me xd

I've been putting off moving to voat. This might be the straw that broke the camel's back

Have fun. We won't miss you.

>the voat meme

At least go to 8ch, that's less cancerous than voat.

Back to Digg imo

I wish I could use my Reddit account for warehouse party verification but noooo they're still stuck on FB and Instagram, neither of which I have.

Grindr for neets

They're probably trying to capture the discord audience like they did with imgur

Careful, he'll take your dick pic and get it to the top of r/all for 50k karma

"This was my gay, autistic cousin's penis right before he died of cancer"

-/u/GallowBoob probably

I am not sure why, but going out of your way to tell /u/Ed_ButteredToast that you hate him made me giggle.

You too? Pls don't hate me 😭

Don’t you have midterms to focus on?

They don't have midterms in high school.

yeah they do

Doing the lords work.

"share a cat fact" r/fellowkids

This has to be a beta, the interface is slow and clunky and it takes forever to do anything.

beta

Accurate description of the reddit devs.

!redditsilver

Here's your Reddit Silver, twinkletoes232!


/u/twinkletoes232 has received silver 1 time. (given by /u/[deleted]) info

/u/twinkletoes232 has received silver 1 time. (given by /u/[deleted])

That feels like that thing from the "Omen", when people who were destined to die appeared with weird artifacts in photographs. I'd delete your account if I were you, /u/ed_butteredtoast, to maybe avoid worse things.

Lol

Still better than /r/redditnotes

TIL

Now that's what I call a blast from the past.

Just testing

!redditsilver

/u/zergling_Lester I think the bot glitched there lol.

Yes, that's the point, when bots begin randomly glitching showing your account as /u/[deleted] it might be universe trying to tell you something.

To keep myself safe? 😨

Now I have two reddit silver. I am twice as good as you.

I love how happy you are for these two silvers :3

the interface is slow and clunky and it takes forever to do anything

So like everything else reddit has done post-2012.

Does it let you start a conversation with anyone, or just other people who have the chat thing enabled?

I don't see the + Chat on everyone's profile page, but I can start a chat by going into the window and adding the username manually.

Convicted pedophile /u/ed_ButteredToast didn't have a +Chat, however I added his name and he did respond to me.

You fucking white male! When i tapped on the account/user page tab on the Reddit app, a pop up came up to invite me to the Beta Chat feature, I accepted it and then there was a chat tab now in the bottom bar (5 tabs now instead of 4)

You can't invite everybody though. I tried inviting /u/Frank_Tenpenny but Reddit doesn't think he exists! lol

I believe it's only available to the people with the beta profiles. The ones that get profile pix (like mine). Not everyone has switched over to those yet.

Post flaired as

See /r/changelog

But there aren’t any new posts. Who’s fucking with us?

It's just the moron mod team here, don't worry about it

I was hoping it was /u/spez adding flair to threads now.

Oho, what wit! So original too! I can assure you, in the entire history of /r/Drama, none of the many, many autistic users have ever before thought of using this copypasta in such an innovative way.

It's been out for a while for me. And yeah it's shitty, there's no notification that anyone's replied so you just don't notice.

No the app you do

>he downloaded the app

This is why people hate you

>using desktop browsers in 2017

Get it with the times grandpa! Chop chop!

I love this, I need more social shit in my life afterall. When will I be able to post my selfies? I need to show how much of a fucking faggot I am in rl.

I need to show how much of a fucking faggot I am in rl.

Well xir, you are in the right place!

When will I be able to post my selfies?

When they finally make a good landscape camera.

#FacesOfDrama

Me too! Be sure to send all the best emojis my way for maximum socialization!

This is why people dont like America

Shut the fuck up you europoor

Actually im from Germany so Im not even European

German

not a filthy europoor

⠀⠰⡿⠿⠛⠛⠻⠿⣷
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣤⣄⣀⡀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⡛⠿⠷
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁

⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣄⠀⢶⣶⣷⣶⣶⣤⣀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠗
⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣴⣶⡄
⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣥⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠃
⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁
⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁
⠀⠀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉

Turkey culturally and geographically isn't a part of Europe

Ew

Actually im from Germany

Actually I'm gay.

inshallah

I thought reddit outsourced all it's development to the poo-in-the-loos or something, and the SF office was just used for Grindr meetups.

Niggerbabble

Nut on my toe dad

Bahhh

who will actually use this shit

They KNOW nobody wanted this. Jesus lol

I guess I'm nobody's favorite

How is this any different than sending messages?

It looks better

Bring on the bussy!

This is terrible

Invite plz

Nu too.

/u/DeepDickedHillybilly - I didn't know Wales had a hick population.

I'm glad I only use Reddit on mobile, otherwise I might give half a shit.

Hey OP start a chat with me, I don't see it.

Predicting this feature will be a hit over on /r/gonewild

I’m hoping /u/spez follows it up with a “one click dick pic” feature. If not reddit in-house, maybe an aspiring entrepreneur.

“One click dick pic” even has a really nice ring to it

If not reddit in-house, maybe an aspiring entrepreneur.

Someone ping the RES guy

Between this and the ability to create a "profile" page, this shit is getting hella homosexual.

What could be gayer that /u/pizzashill?

First the atrocious new profile page, now this cancer. Reddit is dying.