So I've finally settled down (and had a drink) after being locked in a store room in Selfridges for half an hour. So I thought I'd post about it here. Because there's no drama like false alarm/too mayo/black Friday stampede/unsympathetic terrorist non-attack drama.

So Selfridges were doing 20% off and I decided to order and collect in store as I usually get off a bit early on Fridays. So I got the train down to Marble Arch and as I was walking down Oxford Street two police cars and a fire engine came screaming down the wrong side of the road going towards Oxford Circus. I thought it was probably due to someone having a fight although terrorism did come to mind because everything was quite normal I didn't think much of it. I carried on to the store and got in line to pick up my parcel.

Then it got weird I turned round to look at all the lovely Christmas stuff, this is the home department, and suddenly everyone starts running. Only it doesn't look like running, it looks like a dam has burst and a wave of people is rushing towards you. I just assumed they'd calm down an stop but they kept coming. I even said to the shop assistant next to me "they are probably just panicking" and she said "just get going" which was very good advice. I decided it was probably more stupid to end up with a bullet in my head while trying to look cool than be a bit of a tit running from nothing so I followed the staff into their store room just as the automatic shutter was coming down on us Indiana Jones style. We even had to hold it up in a joint effort so a Chinese woman with a baby could get in.

So now we are all in the cupboard, around 20-30 of us. Maybe 8 staff and 15 customers. The problem is we are now stuck, the was a door out of the room but it was locked to stop people running out with all the stock. We also have no way of knowing what the hell is going on, we are in a cupboard underground and no one has reception. I suggest everyone stop talking so loud, the main topic of conversation was of course WTF, because if there is a guy with a gun outside then they won't know we're here so we shouldn't draw attention to ourselves. This of course freaks everyone out even more and does nothing to actually get them quiet, the baby starts crying, etc. Then I find I simply can't be helpful. I don't know what's going on, no one does, the people who are going to get us out of here are the teenage shop assistants desperately trying to ring through to their managers, so I decide just to offer them all the help I can.

People are terrified, desperately trying to call loved ones, sending "I love you" texts to their kids and parents. You could really tell who had something to live for. All the teenagers and middle aged women were upset, these people had lives, people who love them and futures. One of the younger shop assistance was on the verge of a full panic attack. All the 20-30s crowd and the guys were, ahh whatever. If I was getting my morbid humour out I'd say some of us world weary types were "where's my bullet already?" Actually I was quite proud of myself for just living in the moment and just experiencing what was happening. Although, as seen above, that actually causes me to react to danger far too slowly.

After about 30 minutes someone finally got through to security and the message was confused so we all got told to hide right at the back of the cupboard behind the selves and then we were save to leave a second later. The message was "the incident is outside the store so you are safe" which didn't sound particularly safe at all. So we came out and immediately a woman who had been quite chatty literally collapsed in tears. They found around 10 shoppers hidden in another cupboard with no staff so no one to tell them what was going on. The a Spanish family in our cupboard were refusing to come out because they were too scared.

The store was evacuated. They had to get a few thousand people out, single file through one door. It was quite funny that everyone was moaning that the police were being stupid not opening all the doors but of course they did it because it gave them the opportunity to check everyone over.

Out on the street all the shops were shut and we were told "Oxford Street is closed" so I walked down to Marble Arch. I decided to check twitter because, funnily enough, I was at Marble Arch on 7/7 and found that social media was much more helpful than news sites during that. However will I could make calls I couldn't get any data. I do think police can close stuff like that down in a crisis. Then everyone starts running again so I run into the sweet shop type affair, I learnt my lesson I wasn't hanging around. The people in there are just as confused as us but then I see that everyone on the street is walking normally again so I work out they were just spooked and ask to be tell the guys in the shop that they are probably OK to leave. Then from behind the counter jumps what appears to be a figure in a black balaclava who runs towards me. Turns out it was just an Emirates woman with a face covering who had been so scared she had been hiding there but I have to admit that moment was the only time I was truly frightened during the whole affair.

Then I decide hanging around on the street trying to get news is not the best idea and get the train down to Holborn where I was supposed to have been meeting people. Strangely my phone is now working fine and guess what I find.

Fuck the lot of you

STFU and do what you're told

The BBC should be able to predict the news they are reporting on

This more interesting thing happened in another place so you are entitled to zero empathy

Also loads of digs at the Daily Mail, Tommy Robinson and, for some reason, Olly Murs.

And some guys wonder why they become hated and why people don't take their earnest politics/patronising seriously. Literally people from every country in the world were caught up in the scare in Oxford Street today and the make up of the people who work in the shop will be broadly the same of the makeup of poor Londoners. They are going to go online to see what is being said by those who claim to care about them. They are going to find a purely unfeeling response and a a selective sympathy which they have been selected out of.

You know I mentioned the Egypt attack to someone in the cupboard. Did it make them feel better? Of course it bloody didn't. It just made them freak out even more. Because if there was a big attack in Egypt it makes attacks elsewhere a lot more likely not less. Talking about it was the biggest mistake I made though the whole thing.

Now I know it wasn't serious in the end, I more or less knew/hoped that at the time, but I'm not everyone. I remember after 7/7 quite a few kids with Saturday jobs up town decided it wasn't worth the risk just to work in a shop and I expect a large number of the young shop workers I was with will come to the same decision. However there is also the emotional/psychological side.

Mostly I am posting this to say that if you were caught up in this it's ok to be upset, it's ok to be scared, it's okay to act frightened and irrational for a time. That's natural and normal. If people are taking the piss, screw them. If people are saying it's nothing, screw them. If people are saying you or your feelings aren't big enough to be important, screw them. You go talk to people, laugh, cry, get help if you need it.